—— 选自Medium 网站（吉玛译）
I was up before the sun — without an alarm.
我在太阳升起前起床——没有闹钟。
Before anything else, I religiously performed my personalised morning routine.
在其他事情之前，我认真地完成了我的个人晨间例行之事。
I started my day by tackling the most important task at hand — writing on Medium.
以着手处理手头上最重要的任务开始了我的一天，——在媒体上写作。
This was followed by reading a story fromBenjamin P. Hardy which I’d bookmarked the previous night.
接下来是读前一天晚上标好的一则Benjamin P. Hardy中的故事。
Keep in mind that I hadn’t paid a single drop of attention to social media or emails at this point.
请记住，在这个时候，我并没有对社交媒体或电子邮件给予任何关注。
And, just like that, I had managed to check everything off my to-do list before leaving for college. (Except for high-intensity cardio — which I avoid doing in the morning whenever possible)
而且，就像这样，我在去上学之前就已经把所有要做事情都核对了。(除了高强度的有氧运动外，我尽量避免在早上做)
I spent the rest of the day thinking, listening to music, checking my emails and social media, reading good Medium stories — and topped it all off by writing about the day in my diary.
剩下的时间我会思考，听音乐，查看电子邮件和社交媒体，阅读一些优秀的媒体故事，并且在日记中记录一天的事情来结束这一切。
This is how a typical day was for me, 10 days ago.
这是我10天前典型的一天。
Not every day was perfect — sometimes I woke up late and skipped breakfast. Sometimes I’d skip reading Medium in the morning when I had a lot to write.
不是每一天都是完美的——有时我醒来晚了，没有吃早餐。有时我在早上有很多东西要写，就不会阅读媒体。
But every day was more or less the same — and I was crazy productive.
但每天都差不多一样——而且我的工作效率很高。
And then I stopped trying.
然后我停止尝试。
Back to base回到基础
I’ve made a ton of questionable decisions out of sheer curiosity.
出于纯粹的好奇心，我做了很多有问题的决定。
Many of those decisions have had serious repercussions, but that hasn’t stopped the “what ifs” from popping up in my head all the time.
许多这样的决定都有严重的后果，但这并没有阻止“要是...会怎么样”不断出现在我的脑海中。
That also hasn’t stopped me from acting on those unexplored ideas and thoughts.
这也没有阻止我对那些未经探索的点子和想法采取行动。
Ten days ago, another experiment knocked on the door.
10天前，我又有了一个突发奇想的点子。
What if I stopped sleeping early? How long would my momentum last? What if I stopped writing every day? What if I loosened my self-discipline muscle?
如果我不早点睡觉会怎样? 我的动量会持续多久? 如果我每天都停止写作会怎么? 如果我放松自我约束的肌肉会怎样?
What if I stopped trying?
如果我停止尝试会怎么?
The very next day I was on a flight, headed home. I was going through my Medium profile, looking back at the progress I’d made — in an attempt to convince myself to turn my back on this experiment.
就在第二天，我乘飞机回家。我浏览我的媒体资料，回顾我所取得的进步——试图说服自己放弃这次实验。
Why did I have to convince myself? Because a part of me really wanted to do this experiment — but the other, more rational one was warning me of the wasted hours it could foresee.
为什么我要说服自己? 因为就某角度而言我真的想做这个实验——但是另一个更理性的我警告我这个实验明显会浪费时间。
I loved this, because the decisions which have had my mind waging war with itself have always been the most exciting and rewarding ones.
我喜欢这种实验，因为让我的头脑一直在和自己作战的决定总是最令人兴奋和最有回报的。
So, like the ideal unproductive person, I closed my laptop and browsed through some memes I’d saved on my phone.
所以，就像一个徒劳的人一样，我关闭了我的笔记本电脑，浏览我保存在手机上的一些模因。
Ten-day disaster
为期十天的灾难
Needless to say, the outcome wasn’t what a productive person would like to see.
不用说，结果并不是一个富有成效的人想要看到的。
But, of course, I was more interested in the actual process than the end result.
但是，当然，相对于最终结果，我对实际过程更感兴趣。
I really cared about was getting to know the the ins and outs, and the small changes which accumulated to give the negative outcome.
我真正关心的是了解这些复杂细节，以及微小变化累积起来的消极结果。
I wanted to know what exactly happens when one stops fighting for something they strive for.
我想知道当一个人停止为他们所追求的东西奋斗时，到底会发生什么。
Looking back now, here’s what changed in me after I stopped trying to be productive — which is what I strive for.
回看现在，在我停止追求效率之后，我所改变的——这就是我所追求的
1) Turbulence:
1）动荡
When I’m at my best, I’m super assertive. I’m on the offence. I’m completely outside complain-mode. Ten days ago, my results from a personality test stated that I’m 85% assertive, and 15% turbulent.
当我处于最佳状态时，我会非常自信。我在犯错。我完全脱离抱怨。10天前，我的性格测试结果显示，我的自信占比85%，混乱占比15%。
Fast forward to the present, and look how the tables have turned. The same test now states that I’m 25% assertive, and 75% turbulent.
回到现在，看看结果如何。同样的测试，现在表明我的自信占比25%，混乱占比75%。
Why?
为什么？
Because I lost my faith and momentum.
因为我失去了信心和动力。
Why?
为什么？
Because I stopped doing.
因为我停止尝试
A lot of people are under the impression that confidence must precede action. You need to be confident before your show. You need to be confident before you publish your first article.
许多人都认为，信心必须先于行动。在你的表演之前，你需要有自信。在发表第一篇文章之前，你需要有自信。
The reality, however, is the exact opposite.
然而，现实却恰恰相反。
Action causes confidence.
行动铸就信心。
If you stop doing, you’ll quickly begin to notice your pillar of faith crumble. You’ll begin blaming your circumstances, your family, your friends, and what not.
如果你停止行动，你很快就会发现你的信仰支柱崩塌。你会开始责怪你的环境，你的家庭，你的朋友，等等。
You’ll be fully in defence mode, and nobody wins while in defence mode.
你将完全处于防御模式，而在防御模式下没有赢家。
2) The P-word
2）完美主义
This experiment was supposed to last a week.
这个实验应该持续一个星期。
On the sixth day, I cordially reminded myself before sleeping, that I had to get back to being productive from the very next day.
第六天，我在睡觉前诚恳地提醒自己，我必须从第二天开始恢复工作。
On the seventh day, however, “something came up” and I “couldn’t really make time” for writing.
然而，在第7天，“出现了一些事情”，且我“真的没有时间”写作。
“No problem”, said I. “I’ll smash my goals tomorrow, and push out two amazing stories in one day”.
“没问题”，我说，“我明天就会完成我的目标，一天写出两个惊人的故事。”
No points for guessing the outcome— it turned out that I didn’t touch, let alone “smash” my goals on the eighth day.
无须去猜测结果——结果是我没有碰，更不用说在第八天“粉碎”我的目标了。
By the ninth day, I’d already begun with detrimental self-doubt and self-hate.
到第九天，我已经开始了自我怀疑和自我憎恨。
Every consecutive day you say “no” to what’s good for you, the procrastination snowball grows bigger, faster and more difficult to stop.
连续每一天你都说对你有好处的事物说“不”，拖延的雪球越变越大，越快越难停下来。
With great efforts, I managed to stop mine from rolling on the last day, and that is how I’m back here — writing, and looking forward to all the ground that I have to make up.通过努力，在最后一天我成功地阻止了我的“雪球滚动”，这就是我怎么回到这里的原因——写作，并期待着弥补所有一切。
3)Back on track
3)回到正轨
I want you to think of your mind as a system. After a lot of self-experimentation, I’ve witnessed first-hand that this system does its best to fight off new good elements in most cases.
我希望你把你的思维想象成一个系统。在进行了大量的自我实验之后，我亲眼目睹了这一系统在大多数情况下都尽力去克服新的好元素。
New morning routine? It won’t like that.
人晨间例行之事?它不会像这样。
Better exercise plans? You’ll face resistance.
更好的锻炼计划吗?你会面临阻碍
My experiment was more or less about getting to know what this “system” defaults to, in the absence of any corrective and beneficial measures.
我的实验或多或少是为了了解，在没有任何纠正和有益措施的情况下，这个“系统”默认为什么。
Judging from the outcome, it defaults to mediocrity.
从结果来看，它默认为平庸。
From this perspective, getting “back on track” means taking back control.
从这个角度来看，“回到正轨”意味着收回控制权。
I decided that it was time to do away with the default decision-making machine— which always resorted to paths of least resistance.
我决定是时候放弃默认的决策机器了——它总是采用最小阻力的路径。
One by one, I had to consciously reintroduce the elements which made me productive.一个接一个地，我有意识地重新引入使我富有成效的要素。
This is the hardest part. This is why most people fail to become better and introduce new and better elements into their system — they fail to take control.
这是最难的部分。这就是为什么大多数人不能变得更好，并将新的更好的元素引入他们的系统——他们无法控制。
It’s difficult, and I like that.
这很困难，但我很喜欢。
If it was the easiest thing in the world to just flip a switch and go back to godly levels of productiveness, everyone would attain those levels — everyone would be great.
如果只要打开开关，回到虔诚的生产力水平，那么这将会是世界上最简单的事情，每个人都能达到这样的水平——每个人都是伟大的。
It’s a necessary evil, because when you have the fear of going back to mediocrity, you’re less likely to go backwards.
这是一种必要的邪恶，因为当你害怕回到平庸，你就不太可能倒退。
The tenth morning
第十天早上
Today, I’m not back to my best — and I wasn’t expecting to be. I don’t know when exactly I’m going to be as productive as I was ten days ago.
今天，我没有回到最好的状态——我也没想到会是这样。我不知道我什么时候能像10天前那样高产。
What I do know, however, is that I’ve begun taking back control. I’ve starting meditating again. I’ve started reading good Medium and connecting with new people again.
然而，我所知道的是，我已经开始收回控制权。我开始重新冥想。我已经开始阅读良好的媒体，并再次与新人们联系。
I’ve started trying again — and it’s only a matter of time before I attain my previous levels of productivity, and then go beyond.
我又开始尝试了——达到并且超越我以前的生产力水平，只是一个时间问题。
