Chapter 8 The Importance of Saying No
一、问答
1. Why saying no is important? Have you had a hard time of turning down someone’s request( for example, you wanted to say no, but what came out of your mouth was yes, and next day you kicked yourself for saying yes) ? Please include a personal story.
Because doing so might make him or someone else feel bad.
In my traditional mind, to refuse someone is impolite, so I always say yes, but sometimes I made myself very busy, especially when something was beyond my ability, even though I did it, the effect might be not satisfactory.
2. Why Saint Petersburg was one of the Mark’s favorite trips?
Because he experienced the Russian frankness and freedom, he can say whatever he thought or felt.
3. Why commitment gives you freedom?
Because you are no longer distracted by the unimportant; because it hones your attention and focus on what is most efficient at making you healthy and happy; because it makes decision making easier and removes any fear of missing out.
4. How to build trust?
Being honest. Because honesty in relationship is more important to someone than feeling good all the time.
二、感想
This is why it became the norm in Western cultures to smile and say polite things even when you don’t feel like it, to tell little white lies and agree with someone whom you don’t actually agree with.
典型的西方文化是，即使你不喜欢某人，也会笑脸相迎，彬彬有礼；即使你不同意某人观点，也会装作同意，所以很多人和并不真正喜欢的人交朋友，买一些并不很想的东西。
This is a cornerstone of many of the so-called positive thinking books: open yourself up to opportunities, be accepting, say yes to everything and everyone, and so on.
因为许多所谓的积极向上的书，教导我们要敞开胸怀，接受一切事物，对每件事和每个人都说yes.
But we need to reject something. Otherwise, we stand for nothing.
但作者告诉我们要学会拒绝，否则到最后什么都没有得到，我们还会觉得空虚，生活没有意义，没有目标。例如，我们选择婚姻作为生活中最重要的部分，就要放弃抽烟酗酒等影响婚姻关系的不良习惯。如果我们认为某事对我们是重要的，那么就要拒绝与之相背的另外一些事情。
Yes, breadth of experience is likely necessary and desirable when you’re young—after all, you have to go out there and discover what seems worth investing yourself in.
年轻的时候，我们可以到处走走，丰富一下阅历，然后选择什么样工作最适合我们。但到一定年龄后，就要专注于自己所选择的职业，执着于自己的目标和价值观，对于那些与我们目标和价值观相背的事情，要学会拒绝。
三、字词
1. It was a strange life, replete with fantastic, horizon-breaching experiences as well as superficial highs designed to numb my underlying pain.
replete with 充满的，充足的
如：The refrigerator is replete with food and drink.
2. The month I spent in Saint Petersburg went by in a blur.
in a blur 在一片模糊中
如：The next few months passed in a blur.
3. Travel is a fantastic self development tool, because it extricates you from the values of your culture
extricate yourself/sb from sth 使解脱；解救；使游离
如：How was he going to extricate himself from this situation?
4. This is self defeating, of course.
self-defeating 自掘坟墓，弄巧成拙
如：It is self-defeating to ignore the advice of parents.
5. If two people who are close are not able to hash out their differences openly and vocally, then the relationship is based on manipulation and misrepresentation,
hash out 消除，经过长时间讨论解决一个问题
如：I know we have a lot to hash out between us.
