美女班长
Beauty Monitor
原创：斧子 中译英：斧子的二当家
每次搞同学聚会，老婆都要把我打扮的漂漂亮亮......
插图：船山舵手
我们的美女班长王晓悦，对同学们的事情，都很热心。
Our beautiful monitor, Wang Xiaoyue, is very enthusiastic about the classmates' affairs.
我在经商的路上，屡败屡战，从不死心，还尝试过拉人投资合伙做生意。美女班长热情地介绍了三个同事，每个人都投资了几万块钱，想跟着我发财致富。
On my way of business, i have always been defeated but never gave up my heart, and I even have tried to get people to invest and do business together. The beauty monitor warmly introduced three colleagues, each of whom invested tens of thousands of RMB to make a fortune with me.
谋事在人，成事在天。命运女神很不喜欢我，故意让我栽跟斗，十分不眷顾，我做的生意亏的一败涂地，还搞的我狼狈出逃。
Man proposes, God disposes. The goddess of fate didn't like me very much, and let me fall on purpose, I lost the business and ran away in a mess.
一晃就是数年，美女班长被很多同事们误解了，认为是她跟我合伙故意欺骗别人。在同学们中间，她也受到了一些人的冷嘲热讽，说她没有眼光，被我这个坏人祸害了，拖累了。
For years, the pretty monitor was misunderstood by many colleagues, who thought that she had conspired with me to deliberately deceive others. Among the classmates, she was also subjected to some people's sneer, saying that she had no vision and was dragged on and ruined by me as a bad person.
插图：船山舵手
风水轮流转。三十年河东，四十年河西。当我终于摆脱了困境，爬出了经营失败的泥潭，小有成效后，我主动打她手机，希望能够偿还她同事们的投资款。那些人都曾经在法院里 起诉过我，手里都有法院正式判决的裁定书。
After this season will come another. Every dog has his day. When I finally got out of the dilemma and failure of business. I took the initiative to call her cell phone in the hope of paying off her colleagues'investment money, all those people who sued me in court, they had the official verdict in court.
在电话里，美女班长还犹豫着说：“你到底手头宽裕了没有？实在困难的话，我再跟同事们说一说，再拖一段时间吧。”
On the phone, the beauty monitor hesitated and said, "have you got enough money? If it is really difficult, I will talk to my colleagues and delay it for a while."
我很坚定地回答：“已经拖了这么多年了，我自己都不好意思了，还是尽快还了吧。一直没有发财，所以，就一直欠着。当然，我现在还不是很富裕，只是刚刚好转，赚了一点小 钱，暂时只能还本金。希望他们能够理解和体谅。”
I firmly replied: "It has been so many years, I am embarrassed, I should return it as soon as possible. I have never made a fortune, so i have been in debt. Of course, I'm not very well off at the moment, but I'm just getting better, making a little money and paying back the principal for the time being. I hope they can understand."
插图：船山舵手
她笑着说：“我的同事们，早就死了心，都想不到你还能记得这笔钱。我告诉他们的时候，他们都很惊讶。当然，他们还是十分高兴的。”
"My colleagues' heart have already been dead," she said with a smile, "they were surprised when I told them about this money. Of course, they were very happy."
美女班长是在新华书店里上班。我出版的几本书，她特地搞了个本土作家作品专柜，就在新华书店进门对着的显眼位置，为我推销宣传。
The pretty monitor works in the Xinhua bookstore. I've published several books, and she's specially set up a local writer's shoppe, right in front of the Xinhua bookstore door, promoting me.
老婆曾经怀疑过她，反复追问：美女班长是不是我的初恋情人？
My wife once doubted her and repeatedly asked if the beauty monitor was my first love?
有时候我坚决否认；有时候我期期艾艾，不回答不承认；有时候，我故意暧昧地暗示，我私底下对她有好感；有时候，特别是夫妻两个吵架斗嘴的时候，我故意感叹，当年找美女 班长做老婆就好了......其实，我跟美女班长很清白，是最纯粹的同学关系。
Sometimes I strongly denied it; sometimes I hesitated to answer or deny it; sometimes I implicitly implied that I had feelings for her in private; sometimes, especially when the couple quarreled with each other,I intentionally sighed, how i wished the beauty monitor was my wife... In fact, I'm clean with the pretty monitor, and we're the most pure classmate relationship.
插图：船山舵手
面对老婆的疑神疑鬼，我又好气又好笑。我是故意跟老婆开个玩笑，让她感觉可能还有一个情敌存在，说明我还很有男人魅力，证明我的价值一直在上涨，是令人羡慕的升值股， 提示她不要小看了我，不要轻视我，不要减少对我的爱意。只是，美女班长就莫名其妙背了黑锅，被我老婆记恨上了。
My wife's suspicion made me so angry and funny. I deliberately made a joke to make her feel like there might be another rival, showing I'm still very masculine, and my value had been going up as an enviable stock, reminding her not to look down on me, not to belittle me, and reduce her love for me. It's just that the beauty monitor took the blame for the trouble for no reason and was hated by my wife.
每次搞同学聚会，老婆都要把我打扮的漂漂亮亮。出门前，她总是对着我左看右看，生怕我哪里不讲究，丢了面子。我就笑着说：“我是去同学聚会，又不是去相亲。”
Every time I had a classmate party, my wife would tried to dress me up. Before going out, she always looked at me from left to right, for fear that anything was wrong and lost face. "I'm going to a reunion, not a blind date," I said with a smile.
老婆很骄傲地说：“我就是要让你的同学们看看，你娶了我，越来越年轻！老来俏！”
My wife said proudly, "I just want to show your classmates that you have married me, and you are getting younger and younger! Never get Old! "
我倒！我真的服了我的老婆！还有这样变态自恋的女人啊？
Oh, my God! I really admire my wife! Is there such a sick and narcissistic woman?
插图：船山舵手
作者简介(Author's introduction)：
斧子，中国人民公安大学研究生，湖南省作家协会会员，红网小说版特约评论员，出版著作有：
Axe, graduate student from Chinese People's Public Security University, member of the Hunan Writers'Association and a special commentator of the Red Net fiction section, published:
散文诗集《等你归来》，湖南文艺出版社；
Prose poetry collection "Waiting for you" , Hunan Literature and Art Publishing House;
散文诗集《欠债校长》，香港商务印书馆；
Prose poetry collection "Principal in debt", The Hong Kong commercial press (HKPC);
中短篇小说集《月下天鹅和祝塘的绝版爱情》，团结出版社；
A short and medium story collection, "The last edition of love between the swan under the month and Zhu Tang", United publishing house;
中短篇小说集《隐身保镖》，团结出版社；
A short and medium story collection, "Invisible bodyguard", United publishing house;
中短篇小说集《财哥的第一次婚姻》，中国文联出版社......
A short and medium story collection, "The first marriage of brother Qian," and published by the China Federation of Literary Unions ...
