Once I saw a sentence "Many things interested her, but nothing satisfied her entirely." The first idea came to my brain is "That's me." I am just that kind of person, many feelings in my mind, but it's so hard for me to hold anything in a long time.

I don't know why I ceased my diary in April, I just saw something last night and then I remember that I once planned to keep a diary this year to record my life and my feelings, maybe for the purpose to keep myself positive to what I am going through.

I am always waiting for an important mail from Stanford these days and can not keep calm to perform my own thesis. That's of great importance to me whether I could get the good news, although I know it's with a very low rate. I really hope I could go to California as planed at the end of this year or at the beginning of the next year. And actually, I know I have put too many unrealistic wishes to this training chance and I even hope I could meet some guy there. But honestly, I hold this thought not because it's a world famous school but I think that's the only opportunity for me to meet new people, of course I mean a party of new people during my school life. I always hope I could meet the guy during school days instead of while I have got a job. To some degree, I think making some decisions by a family is much easier than by one. But maybe it's just reverse for some people.

I must say I always know I am a greedy and mean person and I am not good enough as what I want. But it is really hard to give up these thoughts once you had them. So the right thing you should do is to improving yourself and let yourself to fit your dreams.

Hope I could get some news tomorrow and also hope it's good news.

Good luck to myself.