While there hasn’t been a major study published yet on how much time students have spent online during the Covid-19 pandemic, every indication suggests that the answer is “more.” In this era of social distancing, stay-at-home orders, online schooling and the return to in-person classes, research is more important than ever—it can help teach us how to parent well in a digital era. Experience matters too, of course; what you know from observation and from your child’s personal history can provide essential context for how to apply the data.

For the past 15 years or so, as classroom teachers in the fields of law and history, teaching students at the high school, college and graduate levels, we have been researching the ways in which young people use technology. In 2008, we published a book on our findings based on interviews, focus groups and surveys that we and our fellow researchers around the world conducted called Born Digital. To share our parenting advice based on the research, we recently published The Connected Parent.

The answer these days, for most families, can’t be “don’t ever use screens.” So, it is more a matter of what you can do to make all that screen time more productive and to improve overall health, learning and well-being. Here are ten parenting ideas based on what the research tells us.

Screen time is not one-size-fits-all.

Screen time is much more about quality than it is about quantity. As our kids are Zooming and Snapchatting and Tik Toking their way through a pandemic-scarred school year, the idea that we would set sharp limits on the amount of time they are looking at devices seems a little hard to imagine too. (And are you really putting down your phone yourself? More on that in a moment.)

The research tells us that the time kids spend on devices is less important than what they do when they are connected. Of course, it is important to note that the rules for screen time in a home should vary by age. We share the view of the American Academy of Pediatrics, for instance, that very young children—say, under the age of 2—have no good reason to be exposed to screens and that there are downsides of doing so. The AAP and other researchers have found lasting negative effects of too much screen time at an early age on children’s language development, reading ability and short-term memory. The one exception we make for these little ones is for connecting with doting grandparents or other relatives on FaceTime or Zoom. On the other end of the spectrum, it’s clear that you can’t have effective screen time limits for most older teens; both research and experience shoes that they will ignore you and will simply work around your efforts to control them, undermining their trust in you and the strength of your relationship in the process.

Take data privacy seriously yourself and translate that experience into talks with your kids.

Take data privacy more seriously than you do right now. And then talk about it with your kids, ideally by the time they have reached the tween years. That’s the point at which they have likely begun to engage regularly with social media, whether on a mobile phone you’ve given them or on another device inside or outside the home. Based on the research we have done at the Youth and Media Lab at the Berkman Klein Center at Harvard University, we have seen that many regular practices can help young people develop good data privacy habits. While an increasing number of states require some form of digital literacy classes, most parents can’t rely on schools to teach the data skills and habits that young people need. These data-driven teaching tools can be accessed by anyone for free via the Youth and Media Lab website.

Young people do make mistakes when it comes to sharing too much information about themselves online. For instance, some do not think enough about the longer term consequences of sharing certain images of themselves or engaging in discussions that may involve hurtful themes for others. But the research shows they are likely to have better and more ingenious coping skills when it comes to using social media than you think. In our focus groups and interviews, we have observed students’ ability to learn and teach one another about smart ways to communicate online without creating long-term problems for themselves or their friends. It’s important that you’re on the same page, sharing tips and practices as you both navigate the new worlds of social media, gaming and just about any new data-hungry application.

Help your child develop safety skills but don’t let fear be your guide.

The reality of online safety risks is a little different than what mainstream media might have us all believe. The risk of meeting someone who will do them physical harm—any parent’s worst nightmare—is much lower today than it was 30 years ago. It is true that the places where young people can meet those who would harm them have moved, in part, from the local park to online spaces. But these spaces are more likely to be places where kids know trouble could lurk.

The more frequent harms that young people—typically in their tween and teenage years—report have to do with bullying. Bullying online is almost always connected to bullying offline. The young people most likely to be bullied offline, including LGBTQIA+ youth and those from other marginalized communities, are more likely to be bullied online. The exact prevalence of bullying on the Internet is much debated, but suffice to say that the psychological risks are real and are almost always tied to the treatment of one another in real space. It’s rarely just “cyberbullying;” the research by Data & Society’s danah boyd, among others, shows that the term “bullying” is more apt in the sense that the psychological harm tends to cross media, time and space.

You might consider following some simple rules as a family. One is not to use online dating sites until a certain age—say, 18. And since we know that those who are bullied are more likely to bully others, make kindness an affirmative family value. Find ways to practice this value in online as well as real-space interactions of all types.

Do one thing at a time. There’s no such thing as multi-tasking.

Just do one thing at a time. Multi-tasking isn’t possible. Given that many kids grow up using devices for long periods each day, by the time they are in middle school and high school, they often think that they are able to multi-task. But no one really can, as researchers associated with the American Psychological Society and many others have shown over the years. What they are doing is switch-tasking, changing quickly between tasks. While there may be value in this kind of activity—say, for someone piloting an airplane—kids doing their homework should be focused on one thing, not trying to do several at once.

Turn off screens a half hour, or ideally an hour, before bedtime.

Kids do not get enough sleep. Sleep scientists such as Brown University’s Mary Carskadon tell us that teenagers, for instance, would ideally get nine and a quarter hours of sleep each night. One reason this is not happening is the presence of screens late in the day. An easy approach is to have a rule about turning off screens at least an hour before bedtime. If that’s not possible, then try at least half an hour.

Put all screens out of view during homework and bedtime.

As teachers, we know that learners from the very youngest ages all the way through high school are tempted when there is a screen in front of them. And if we’re honest, that is true of all of us, whether young or not. That’s no surprise: the designers of social media and online games use psychological research to ensure that their services hold our attention.

Assuming the learning isn’t happening through the device, keep all devices out of view while homework or in-person teaching is occurring. When meeting in an actual classroom, we have asked all students to turn off their phones and place them in a basket out of view. That’s obviously not possible in a virtual learning environment, but it can be a useful tip for students of all ages to set aside their phones—in a drawer or otherwise out of view—during homework time.

Kids actually do learn some things during all that gaming.

Many parents tell us they worry about the effects of online gaming on their child’s life. After all, most studies show that more than 90 percent of young people—of both genders, and spanning ages from the single digits through adolescence—are online gamers to one degree or another. And certainly, for some young people, gaming can become a time-sucking obsession that crowds out other healthy activities. But studies consistently show that fears about online gaming are wildly overblown. Little evidence exists for the frequent claim that video games make young people more aggressive or less kind to one another, a charge often leveled at this generation. The key realm where studies show there is truth to this claim is in the most violent, sexual online and gaming environments, which have been shown to lead to more aggressive sexual behavior among boys.

On the contrary, gaming can be a positive driver of learning, both in terms of cognitive and social and emotional gains for young people. One study published in the Journal of Neuroscience in 2015 by Gregory D. Clemenson and Craig E.L. Stark showed that video gamers engaged in complex three-dimensional games improved their memory in a demanding test. Computer design and programming tasks have led to a wide range of positive learning outcomes for young children using the program Scratch (an MIT Media Lab designed learning environment for ages 8 to 16) through older students carrying out more complex tasks. A study published in 2019 by Yemaya J. Halbrook and colleagues showed a range of positive social and emotional outcomes from gaming among a broad range of school-aged children, especially in terms of relations to other young people and when combined with physical activities.

Kids are big on getting engaged in civic life—and often do so through new technologies.

Some think that kids these days are apathetic when it comes to politics. Some parents worry about the rate of voting going down among young people. People often blame the idea of “clicktivism,” in which young people click “like” on a page and think they have done their part to improve society.

While changes have indeed occurred in how kids are acting, digital tools can be a big part of young people, especially in high school, getting involved in constructive social change. Studies have consistently shown that civic engagement broadly is up, not down—in fact, in one long-term study by the Higher Education Research Institute at UCLA, community engagement has recently hit all-time highs. The same studies show big increases in the likelihood of involvement on the part of African American and Latino young people in high school and college. The nature of this engagement has changed a bit; kids these days are more likely to volunteer, to march in the streets (think of climate change and #BLM these days), or to start something on their own online. At the same time, they are less likely to trust and invest in institutions of the past and to participate in “dutiful” civic acts. Many of these same themes are playing out globally as well as in the United States, as UNICEF and others have reported.

Take breaks! Jumping jacks, nature walks, device-free time…

With kids tied to their computers for fun, social engagement, homework, and often class time during the pandemic, the need to get them moving has never been higher. In between Zoom sessions, encourage them to do jumping jacks or lunges, to dance to a Bollywood video, or take a trip around the block or in the park.

It’s going to be different in every family, but device-free time is a must. Even though we started out by saying not to stress too much about the numbers involved in screen time, the importance of connecting offline and taking a break from screens is high these days. It’s also a great way to compare notes if you, too, are spending too much time online. This brings us to our last tip, perhaps the most important of all.

You need to model.

You don’t need research to prove that what you do as a parent matters to your kids. The old adage “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree” has as much to do with your children watching you as it does with genetics. Kids are watching us at all times, whether we know it or acknowledge it or not. If you are telling kids to care about your privacy but you are letting it all hang out there on your Facebook page or dating site profile, believe us, they will know it. If you are telling them to limit time on their devices and run around outside and play, you better not be on your phone playing Word Cookies as you are saying it. Nothing will matter more in terms of your ability to guide and support your kids in their digital habits than your own practices.

The bottom line from all this research: communication is pretty much a key to everything. We communicate to our kids through our actions, our willingness to listen to them, and our ability to learn and to grow. The connected parent is one to whom their kids will turn when things get tough; even if you don’t know the answer, you’ll have an entry point for conversation when it really matters. And in the really good times, and in all the times in between, you might have some fun playing online games, bonding over new apps or finding new ways to access old films together.

十个有研究支持的数字时代育儿技巧  

虽然目前还没有一项关于疫情期间学生在网上花费了多少时间的研究，但种种迹象表明，答案一定是 "更多"。如今，社交疏远、外卖依赖、在线教育、面授课程重新流行，这样的研究比以往任何时候都更重要——它有助于教导我们如何在“数字时代”做好父母。当然，经验也很重要；观察得到的孩子个人历史情况，可以为如何应用数据提供必要的背景支撑。

在过去的15年多时间里，作为法律和历史领域的班主任，在高中、大学和研究生阶段教授学生，我们一直在研究年轻人使用技术的方式。2008年，根据我们和世界各地的研究人员进行的访谈、焦点小组和调查，我将相关研究成果出版了一本书，名为《数字人生》。为了分享我们基于研究的育儿建议，我们最近出版了《互联父母》。

如今，对于大多数家庭来说，答案不可能是 "永远不要使用屏幕（电子设备）"。因此，更值得关注是，可以做什么来使所有的“屏幕时间”更有效，并增强身体健康，学习效果和幸福感。以下是基于研究告诉我们的十个育儿理念。

屏幕时间不是一刀切的。

屏幕时间的质量比数量重要得多。当我们的孩子咋慕课和Snapchat和Tiktok上度过他们的疫情年，我们明确限制他们看设备的时间量的想法，似乎有点难以想象。(你自己真的会放下手机吗? 稍后再谈）

研究告诉我们，了解他们在连接网络时做的事情，比控制他们花在设备上的时间更重要。当然，需要注意的是，家庭中屏幕时间的规定应该因年龄而异。例如，我们赞同美国儿科学会的观点——非常小的孩子，比如2岁以下的孩子，没有充分的理由接触屏幕，而且依赖电子设备也有弊端。美国儿科学会和其他研究人员发现，在幼年时过多的屏幕时间会对儿童的语言发展、阅读能力和短期记忆产生持久的负面影响。我们只为这些小家伙提供一种例外情况，即通过FaceTime或Zoom与慈爱的祖父母或其他亲属联系。在光谱的另一端（不过另一方面），对大多数年长的青少年而言，你很难明确的屏幕时间限令；研究和经验表明，他们只会忽略你，绕过你的努力来使用那些电子设备，这个过程会破坏孩子对你的信任和你们关系的强度。

自己认真对待数据隐私，并将这种经验转化为与孩子们的谈话。

要比你现在更认真地对待数据隐私。然后和你的孩子们谈论这个问题，最好是在他们已经到了十几岁的时候。这时他们很可能已经开始经常接触社交媒体，可能是用你给他们的手机，或是通过家庭内外的其他设备。根据我们在哈佛大学伯克曼-克莱因中心青年与媒体实验室所做的研究，我们看到很多常规的做法可以帮助年轻人养成良好的数据隐私习惯。虽然越来越多的州要求开设某种形式的数字素养课程，但大多数家长不能依靠学校来教授年轻人所需要的数据技能和习惯。这些数据驱动型的教学手段，任何人都可以通过青年与媒体实验室网站免费获取。

年轻人在网上分享太多关于自己的信息时，确实会犯错误。例如，有些人没有充分考虑到分享自己的某些图像、或参与可能涉及伤害他人主题的讨论的长期后果。但研究表明，他们在使用社交媒体时，很可能会有比你想象中的更好、更巧妙的应对技巧。在我们的焦点小组和访谈中，我们观察到学生们有能力学习并互相传授有关在线交流的实用方法，并且不会给自己或朋友造成长期问题。重要的是，当你们都在社交媒体、游戏和其他新的数据密集型应用的新世界中航行时，你们要站在同一战线上，分享技巧和实践。

帮助孩子培养安全技能，但不要让恐惧成为你的主题。

网上安全风险的现实情况，与主流媒体让我们看到的情况有些不同。今天，遇到会对他们造成身体伤害的人——这是任何父母的最可怕的噩梦——-的风险比30年前低得多。诚然，年轻人能够遇到那些可能伤害自己身体的恶徒的地方，已经从当地公园转移到了网络空间。但孩子们也许已经知道哪些是麻烦可能潜伏的地方。

年轻人——通常是在他们的十几岁——较多的危机报告与欺凌有关。线上的欺凌几乎都与线下的欺凌有关。最有可能在线下受到欺凌的年轻人，包括LGBTQIA+社区和来自其他边缘化社区的年轻人，更有可能在网上受到欺凌。网络上欺凌的确切发生率有很多争议，但要知道，遭遇心理伤害的风险是真实存在的，而且几乎都与现实空间中彼此的待遇有关。它不只是 "网络谩骂"，Data & Society的danah boyd等人的研究表明，"欺凌 "这个词更贴切，因为心理伤害往往会跨越媒介、时间和空间。

你可以考虑制定一个家庭需要遵循一些简单规则。例如在一定年龄之前--比如说18岁之前，不要使用在线交友网站。既然我们知道那些被欺负的人更有可能欺负别人，那就把善良作为一种积极的家庭价值观。在网上以及现实空间的各类互动中，想办法践行这一价值观。

一次只做一件事。没有所谓的多任务。

一次只做一件事。多任务是不可能的。鉴于很多孩子每天长时间使用设备，到了初中和高中，他们往往认为自己能够同时间完成多任务。但没有人真的能做到，正如美国心理学会和许多其他机构的相关研究，他们能做的到不过是切换任务，在任务之间快速转换。虽然这种活动可能有价值--比如说，对于驾驶飞机的人来说--但做作业的孩子，更应该专注于一件事，而不是试图同时做几件事。

在睡觉前半小时，或者最好是一小时，关掉屏幕。

孩子们没有得到足够的睡眠。布朗大学的玛丽-卡斯卡顿等睡眠科学家告诉我们，以青少年为例，他们每晚最好能睡9又1/4小时。睡眠不足原因之一是，晚饭后依然在使用电子设备。一个简单的方法是，规定在睡觉前至少一个小时关闭屏幕。如果这做不到，那就试试至少半小时。

在做作业和睡觉时，把所有的屏幕都放在视野之外。

作为老师，我们知道，从幼儿一直到高中学生，当面前有屏幕时，他们都会受到诱惑。坦白讲，我们所有人都是如此，无论年轻与否。这并不奇怪：社交媒体和网络游戏的设计者们，擅长利用心理学研究来确保他们的服务能够吸引我们的注意力。

假设学习无需借助电子设备，在做作业或上面授课时，要让所有的设备都不在视野中。在现实中的课堂上开会时，我们已经要求所有学生关闭手机，并将其放在一个篮子里，不被人看到。这在虚拟学习环境中显然是不可能的，但对于所有年龄段的学生来说，在做家庭作业的时候把手机放在抽屉里或其他看不见的地方，这可能是一个有用的建议。

孩子们在这些游戏中其实也能学到一些东西。

很多家长告诉我们，他们担心网络游戏对孩子生活的影响。毕竟，大多数研究表明，90%以上的年轻人——无论男女，年龄跨度从个位数到青春期——都或多或少地玩过网游。当然，对于一些年轻人来说，游戏可能会成为一种耗费时间的痴迷，挤掉其他健康的活动。但研究一致表明，对网游的担心被过分夸大了。经常有人说，电子游戏会让年轻人变得更有攻击性或更不善待他人，这种说法几乎没有什么证据，而这种指控经常针对这一代人。研究表明，如果这种说法成立，那也是在最暴力、最性感的网络游戏中，这些环境已被证明会导致男孩更具有攻击性的性行为。

相反，游戏可以成为学习的正向驱动力，无论是在认知方面，还是在年轻人的社会和情感方面都有收获。2015年Gregory D. Clemenson和Craig E.L. Stark在《神经科学杂志》上发表的一项研究表明，游戏者进行一项复杂的三维视频游戏后，在一项苛刻的测试中提高了他们的记忆力。计算机设计和编程任务计算机设计和编程任务已经为使用Scratch程序（麻省理工学院媒体实验室为8至16岁设计的学习环境）的幼儿带来了广泛、积极的学习成果，而年长的学生则能够执行更复杂的任务。Yemaya J. Halbrook及其同事在2019年发表的一项研究显示，在广大学龄儿童中，游戏带来了一系列积极的社会和情感成果，特别是在与其他年轻人的关系上，以及游戏与体育活动相结合时。

孩子们很喜欢参与公民生活--而且往往是通过新技术来实现。

有些人认为，现在的孩子在政治问题上是冷漠的。一些家长担心年轻人的投票率会下降。人们常常把责任归咎于 "点击主义 "，即年轻人在页面上点击 "喜欢"，就认为自己为改善社会尽了一份力。

虽然孩子们的行为方式确实发生了变化，但数字工具可以成为年轻人，尤其是高中生参与建设性社会变革的重要组成部分。研究一直表明，公民参与度大体上是上升的，而不是下降的——事实上，在加州大学洛杉矶分校高等教育研究所的一项长期研究中，社区参与度最近创下了历史新高。同样的研究显示，非裔美国人和拉丁裔年轻人在高中和大学 的参与度大增。这种参与的性质已经发生了一些变化，现在的孩子们更有可能去做志愿者，上街游行（想想现在的气候变化和#BLM运动），或者自己在网上发起一些活动。同时，他们不太可能信任和投资过去的机构，也不太可能参与 "尽责 （表忠心）"的公民行为。正如联合国儿童基金会和其他机构所报道的那样，许多同样的主题正在全球以及美国上演。

休息一下吧！运动、出门散步、设置断网时间.... ...

疫情期间，孩子们的娱乐、社交活动与电脑捆绑，家庭作业和频繁的课堂时间，让他们联网需求从未如此之高。在Zoom课程间隙，鼓励他们做跳跃式挺举或肺活量，随着宝莱坞视频跳舞，或在街区或公园里旅行。

每个家庭的情况都会不同，但无设备时间是必须的。尽管我们一开始就说不要太强调屏幕时间所涉及的数字，但现在线上线下的联系和从屏幕上休息的重要性是很高的。如果你也花了太多的时间在网上，这也是一个比较好的方式。这让我们想到了最后一个建议，也许是最重要的。

你需要树立模范。

你作为父母的所作所为，对你的孩子很重要。俗话说 "苹果不会从树上掉下来（覆巢之下无完卵）"，这与你的孩子常常关注你有关，也与遗传学有关。不管你是否意识到或承认这件事，孩子们无时无刻不在注视着我们。如果你告诉孩子们要保护自己的隐私，但你却让个人资料全部挂在你的Facebook页面或约会网站上，相信我们，他们也会知道的。如果你限制他们使用设备的时间，告诉他们多出门玩耍，你最好不要在说这些话时在手机上玩Word Cookie。对于你引导和指导孩子们的使用数字媒介这件事而言，你自己怎么做是最重要的。

所有这些研究的底线是：沟通是一切的关键。真正采取行动去与孩子们沟通，聆听他们的声音，并且学习和提升沟通能力。与孩子心意相通父母，是当孩子遇到困难时会向他们求助；即使你不知道答案，你也会在一些真正重要的时刻，有一个谈话的切入点。在亲子相处的美好时光，你们可能会玩一些在线游戏，在新的应用程序上建立联系，或者找到新的方式来一起观看老电影。

The Connected Parent: An Expert Guide to Parenting in a Digital World 

John Palfrey and Urs Gasser bring together over a decade of research at Harvard to tackle parents' most urgent concerns. The Connected Parent is required reading for anyone trying to help their kids flourish in the fast-changing, uncharted territory of the digital age.

联网的父母。数字化世界中的育儿专家指南。

约翰-帕尔弗雷和乌尔斯-加塞尔将哈佛大学十多年的研究成果汇集在一起，解决父母最迫切的问题。对于任何试图帮助孩子在快速变化、未知领域的数字时代茁壮成长的人来说，《互联父母》都是必读之作。