The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck Chapter4

I. Q&A

1. Use three sentences to describe Onoda’s story.

During the Word War II, Onoda and his army were deployed to Lubang in the Philippines, where he and other soldiers were hiding in the jungle and fighting for the emperor. Onoda refused to believe the war was ended, he continued to fight untill Suzuki found him in 1972. Then Onada returned to homeland, but he soon found the old Japan he had lived and fought for no longer existed which made him depressed.   

2. What can we learn from the Rock Star Problems?

Dave Mustaine and Pete Best meet the similar setbacks, but their life and the way they enjoy their life were totally different. Mustaine achieved great fame, but he still regarded himself as a failure, while Best just lived a normal life but he thought that he was more successful than his bandmates. Success is not about material, is about our values and the metrics determined by it. The important thing to settle problems is to change our value and the way we measure failure or success.

3. Can you name some values that you hold dear?

One of my values I hold dear is "do what makes you happy". This value is the main reason why I choose my major and interests, because study classical Chinese literature makes me extremely happy and so does learning English and other languages. So it's not hard for me to make a decision about career or life, just listen to my heart and give no fuck to unnecessary things.   

4. Do you have any good/bad values stated in the book? How those values affect your life?

When I read the part of "Staying Positive", I suddenly realized that is exactly the bad value I have. Sometimes when I confronted bad situations, I forced myself to think positive, because I think the negative emotions are harmful. Now I realized the way to keep mental healthy is not avoid the negative emotion, just make the first step, try to accept them.

II. Words and expression

1.  Their economy was floundering, their military overstretched across half of Asia, and the territories they had won throughout the Pacific were now toppling like dominoes to U.S. forces.

floundering   挣扎的

toppling like dominoes    像推翻多米诺骨牌一样 

2. Self-awareness is like an onion. There are multiple layers to it, and the more you peel them back, the more likely you’re going to start crying at inappropriate times.

自我觉知就像洋葱,需要一层层的剥开,而认识自我又是困难而且痛苦的,这个比喻十分精彩。

3. His seething anger fueled his ambition; revenge became his muse.

seething    boiling or foaming as if boiling

“燃烧的怒火点燃了他的斗志”

4. Problems add a sense of meaning and importance to our life. Thus to duck our problems is to lead a meaningless (even if supposedly pleasant) existence.

duck    躲避、猛按入水

5. This, in a nutshell, is what “self-improvement” is really about: prioritizing better values, choosing better things to give a fuck about.

in a nutshell   简言之、总而言之

III. Thoughts

这一章信息量挺大的,围绕value讨论了自我认知与衡量标准的问题。开篇Onoda和Suzuki的故事十分有趣,在我们看来这两个人一个固执己见,一个不靠谱,他们做的事看起来毫无意义,但是这有什么关系呢,无论是坚守在丛林还是去喜马拉雅找雪人,这些事儿对他们而言mean something,这就足够了。所以,Manson指出,如果suffering是不可避免的,那么我们并不是去思考要不要停止,而是问自己“Why am I suffering—for what purpose?”

当然,回答这个问题并不容易,因为它涉及到自我觉知,而认识自己是十分困难的。就像剥洋葱那样,认识自己的过程无可避免地需要经历撕裂与痛苦。首先,理解自己的情绪;紧接着,探究情绪产生的原因;最后,触及价值观念与衡量标准。顺提一句,这种由感性角度入手,探究本源的方式,与禅宗的“观照”很是相似。

Manson颠覆了我们对一些value的认知,比如pleasure,它并不是产生快乐的根源,而是影响,更像是正确的价值观的副产品。Staying Positive 这一小节使我深受启发,一味的乐观并不见得是件好事,负面情绪并没有那么可怕,我们无需回避它。承认生活很糟糕,接纳自己的负面情绪,并不会阻碍我们积极地生活,而有意回避或否认它们才会产生不良影响,学会恰当地表达负面情绪非常重要。

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