本章中，作者反思了起源于60年代的“hign self-esteem ” , 这种教育理念基于“自我评价高的人更容易成功，对社会产生更有利的影响，如犯罪率低，受教育程度高，就业状况好。“自我意识”教育一时风靡，但是鼓吹自我意识造成的的后果就是“自以为是”（entitled person , problem with entitlement ）
自我意识主要是个人对于自我价值的认知，那么什么是衡量自我价值的标准？是自我感觉？还是面对挫折解决问题的能力？
The true measurement of self-worth is not how a person feels about her positive experiences , but rather how she feels about her negative experiences .
我的理解是，个人能力的提升是在逆境中实现的，个人的价值也是体现在解决问题的能力。自我评价高不等于“有能力” ，解决问题的能力体现你的价值。
有趣的是entitlement（自以为是）以两种极端形式出现，一种是我好别人差，所以我理应有特殊待遇；一种是我差别人好，所以我也需要特殊照顾（the more entitlement to compensate for those problems ）;作者还分析了"自以为是文化效应"（culture of entitlement ）
信息泛滥→注意力有限→只有真正与众不同的抓人眼球的信息才能被人们注意到→对比之下感觉自己不完美→需要“自以为是”来补偿，使自己看上去没有那么糟
这也是为什么现代人为什么那么容易焦虑？或是急于证明证明自己没那么糟糕，或是干脆自暴自弃，感觉整个社会都欠自己一个公道。那么如何是好呢？
The ticket to emotional health ,like that to physical health ,comes from eating your veggies —that is , accepting the bland and mundane truths of life such as "Your actions actually don't matter that much in the grand scheme of thins " and "The vast majority of your life will be boring and not noteworthy ,and that's okay "
接受这生活的平庸，我们既没有想象中那么好，也没有想象的那么糟，平凡简单的生活也许才是生活的真谛。
喜欢第三章这个暖心结尾：
the pleasures of simple friendship ,creating something ,helping a person in need , reading a good book ,laughing with someone you care about .
Sounds boring ,doesn't it ? That's because these things are ordinary . But maybe they're ordinary for a reason :because they are what actually matters .
