前言：学英文的小伙伴们，福利来啦！经过两年时间不着调的奋斗，噜噜终于把老友记全十季都看完啦，从今天开始，噜噜会不定期的把老友记里面的中英文内容摘录下来供小伙伴们学习哦。看美剧，学英文，休闲~学习~撩妹~把弟，样样不误！爱英文的你，一起加入我们吧！（PS:细心的你是不是和噜噜一样发现了老友记里面其实有一些字幕出现了瑕疵呢，qiu~qiu~我记录的内容和电视字幕有些地方不同哦，细心的你快去发现吧~）
******
Monica: There’s noting to tell! 这没什么好说的！
He’s some guy I work with! 他不过是我的同事！
Joey: C’mon, you’re going out with the guy! 少来了，你们都在约会了！
There’s gotta be something wrong with him! 这个男人一定有什么问题！
Chandler: So does he have a hump? A hump with a hairpiece? 他是驼背吗？带着假发的驼背？
Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk? 等等，他吃粉笔吗？
Just,‘cause, I don’t want her to go through what I went through with Carl. 我只是不想你重蹈我和卡尔的覆辙。
Monica：Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. 拜托各位放松点，者甚至不算是约会。
It’s just tow people going out to dinner and not having sex. 只不过是两个人出去吃饭而且不会上床。
Chandler：Sounds like a date to me.听起来像是和我约会。
******
Chandler：Alright, so I’m back in high school,I’m standing in the middle of the cafeteria and I realize I’m totally naked. 于是我回到了高中学校，我站在食堂中间,然后发现自己全身赤裸。
All: Oh, yeah. Had that dream. 哦，做过那种梦。
Chandler：Then I look down, and I realize there’s a phone there. 然后我低下头，发现那里有一部大哥大。
Joey: Instead of ...？那儿变成了...
Chandler：That’s right. 没错
All：Never had that dream. No. 这种梦倒从未做过。没有。
Chandler：All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. And it turns out it’s my mother,which is very-very weird because she never calls me! 突然，那电话响起来了,结果是我妈打来的，这非常非常奇怪因为她从来不打电话给我。
******
Ross: Hi
Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself. 这家伙一张嘴打招呼，我就想自杀。
Monica：Are you okay, sweetie? 你还好吧亲爱的？
Ross: I just feel like someone reached down my throat grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck. 我感觉有人把手伸进我的喉咙，抓住我的小肠，从我嘴里扯出来，然后产在我脖子上。
Chandler：Cookie? 饼干？
Monica：Carol moved her stuff out today. Let me get you some coffee. 卡尔今天把她的东西搬走了.我帮你泡杯咖啡。
Ross: Thanks.
Ross: No, no don’t. Stop cleansing my aura! 不，不要，别再精华我的灵气了。
No, just leave my aura alone, okay? 求你了，别再碰我的灵气好吗？
I’ll be fine, alright? 我会没事的，好吧？
Really, everyone. I hope she’ll be very happy.真的，各位，我希望她能幸福。
Monica：No, you don’t. 不，你不会
Ross: No, I don’t. 没错，我不会。
To hell with her, she left me! 去他的，她甩了我！
Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian...你之前从不知道她是女同性恋？
Ross: No!! Okay?! 不知道，行了吧？
Why does everyone keep fixating on that? 为什么大家都围绕这个话题打转？
She didn’t know, how should I know? 她都不知道，我怎么会知道。
Chandler：Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian. 有时我也希望自己是个女同性恋。
Did I say that out loud? 我大声说出来了吗？
Joey: Alright Ross, look. You’re feeling a lot of pain right now. You’re angry, you’re hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is? 好了罗斯，瞧，你现在很痛苦，你很痛苦，很伤心。要不要我给你支一招？
Strip joint!脱衣舞俱乐部！
C’mon, you’re single! Have some hormones! 别这样，作为光棍儿，爷们儿起来！
Ross: I don’t want to be single, okay? 我不想单身的，好吗？
I just ...I justwanna be married again! 我只想 再次结婚。
Chandler：And I just want a million dollars! 而我只想要一百万美金。
Monica：Rachel?!
Rachel: Oh, God, Monica, hi! Thank God! 谢天谢地
I just went to your building and you weren’t there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here. 我刚去了你家，可你不在,有个拿大锤子的家伙说你可能在这儿。
And you are, you are! 结果你真的在这儿，你真的在这儿！
Waitress: Can I get you some coffee? 要来杯咖啡吗？
Monica：De-Caff. 无咖啡因的
Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. 好了各位，这是瑞秋，另一位林肯高中的幸存者。
This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and you remember my brother Ross?这就是各位啦，钱德勒，菲比，Joey,你还记得我哥哥罗斯吗？
Rachel: Hi，sure!当然！
Ross: Hi！
Monica：So you wanna tell us now or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids? 你是想现在跟我们说说，还是我们再等四位湿漉漉的伴娘过来？
Rachel: Oh ,God...well, it started about a half hour before the wedding，I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at this gravy boat. This really gorgeousLimoges gravy boat. 哦上帝，好吧，大概在婚礼前半个小时，我当时在放礼品的房间里看着调味汁瓶，那是一件极其美丽的Limoges调味汁瓶。
When all of a sudden——Sweet‘n’Lo?——I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry! And then I got really freaked out, and that’s when it hit me: how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. 然后，突然间——有糖吗？——我发现我对这个调味汁瓶比巴瑞更引发我的兴奋感，然后我真的吓坏了，突然想到巴瑞真的炒香薯头先生。
You know, I mean, I always knew looked familiar, but...Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering“why am I doing this, and who am I doing this for?” 我是说，我总觉得他看起来眼熟，但是...不管怎么说，我必须离开那里。我开始想“我干嘛这么做，我这么做是为了谁？”
So anyway, I just didn’t know where to go, and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart, but you are the only person I knew who lived here in the city. 不管怎么说，我不知道该去哪里，而且我知道我们有点疏远了，但是，你是我在这个城市唯一认识的人。
Monica：Who wasn’t invited to the wedding. 还没有被邀请参加婚礼。
Rachel: Oh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn’t be an issue... 哦，我希望这不是个问题
******
Monica：Now I’m guessing that he bought her the big pipe organ and she’s really bot happy about it.我猜他送她一台管风琴，而她很不喜欢。
Rachel: Daddy, I just ...I can’t marry him! 爸爸，我只是 不能嫁给他。
I’m sorry . I just don’t love him. 对不起，我只是不爱他。
Well, it matters to me. 可是对我来说就有关系。
Chandler: Ooh, she should not be wearing those pants. 哦，她真不该穿那条裤子。
Joey: I say push her down the stairs. 要我说，推她下楼。
All: Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! 把她推下楼！把她推下楼！把她推下楼！
Rachel: C’mon Daddy, listen to me! 爸，你听我说！
It’s like, all of my life, everyone has always told me,“You’re a shoe! You’re a shoe!You’re a shoe!You’re a shoe! 这就好像，在我一生中，所有人都一直告诉我“你是一只鞋子，你是鞋子，你是鞋子，你是鞋子。”
And today I just stopped and I said,“what if I don’t wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a purse, you know? Or a hat?” 可是今天我停下来说“如果我不想成为一只鞋呢？如果我想成为一个包包或是一顶帽子呢？“
No, I don't want you to buy me a hat, I’m saying I am a ha-.不，我不是要你给我买帽子。我是说我是一顶帽子。
It’s a metaphor, Daddy!这是比喻啦，爸爸！
Ross: You can see where he’d have trouble.这就是他的问题所在了。
Rachel: Look Daddy, it’s my life.听着爸爸，这是我的人生。
Well maybe I’ll just stay here with Monica.或许，我可以和莫妮卡住在一起。
Monica：Well, I guess we’ve established who’s staying here with Monica...我猜和莫妮卡住在一起的人选已然敲定了。
Rachel: Well, maybe that’s my decision.也许，那是我的决定。
Well, maybe I don’t need your money.也许，我不需要你的钱。
Wait, Wait, I said maybe!等等，我说的是也许。
