Ⅳ 群鸦的盛宴 Chapter15 山姆威尔

SAMWELL

大海让山姆威尔·塔利反胃。

The sea made Samwell Tarly greensick.

他不只害怕被淹死，更厌恶船的晃动，厌恶甲板在脚下起伏不定。“我经常闹肚子的，”起航离开东海望那天，他向戴利恩承认。歌手拍了拍他的背，“像你这么大的肚子，杀手，不闹才怪。”

It was not all his fear of drowning, though that was surely some of it. It was the motion of the ship as well, the way the decks rolled beneath his feet. “I have a queasy belly,” he confessed to Dareon the day they sailed from Eastwatch-by-the-Sea. The singer slapped him on the back and said, “With a belly big as yours, Slayer, that is a lot of quease.”

但山姆尽量露出勇敢的表情，不为自己，至少为了吉莉。毕竟，她从没见过海洋，他们逃离卡斯特的堡垒后，挣扎着穿越雪原，路遇的几个湖泊对她而言恍如幻境。如今，随着黑鸟号驶离岸边，女孩颤抖起来，大颗大颗的咸涩泪珠从她脸颊上滚落。“诸神保佑。”山姆听见她轻声祈祷。东海望很快看不见了，远处的长城越变越小，最后也消失了。狂风大作。船帆乃是用浆洗多次、褪为灰色的黑斗篷缝制成的，吉莉的脸色却比之更惨，那是写满恐惧的死白。“这是一艘好船，”山姆试图让她放松，“你别怕。”但她只是看了他一眼，将婴儿抱得更紧，然后逃到下面去了。

Sam tried to keep a brave face on him, for Gilly’s sake if little else. She had never seen the sea before. When they were struggling through the snows after fleeing Craster’s Keep, they had come on several lakes, and even those had been a wonder to her. As Blackbird slipped away from shore the girl began to tremble, and big salt tears rolled down her cheeks. “Gods be good,” Sam heard her whisper. Eastwatch vanished first, and the Wall grew smaller and smaller in the distance, until it finally disappeared. The wind was coming up by then. The sails were the faded grey of a black cloak that had been washed too often, and Gilly’s face was white with fear. “This is a good ship,” Sam tried to tell her. “You don’t have to be afraid.” But she only looked at him, held her baby tighter, and fled below.

山姆也不由自主地抓紧船舷，眼睛死盯着船桨划动——至少它们整齐划一的动作有一种美，好歹比看着水面强。看着水面只能让他想到被淹死。小时候，父亲大人为教他游泳，便把他扔进角陵城边的水池。水从鼻子和嘴巴灌进来，流到肺部，虽然最后海尔爵士将他拉了上来，但他咳嗽喘息了好几个小时，并且从此以后再也不敢踏入深过腰间的水里。

Sam soon found himself clutching tightly to the gunwale and watching the sweep of the oars. The way they all moved together was somehow beautiful to behold, and better than looking at the water. Looking at the water only made him think of drowning. When he was small his lord father had tried to teach him how to swim by throwing him into the pond beneath Horn Hill. The water had gotten in his nose and in his mouth and in his lungs, and he coughed and wheezed for hours after Ser Hyle pulled him out. After that he never dared go in any deeper than his waist.

海豹湾比他的腰深好多啊，也不若父亲城堡底下的小鱼塘来得友善。灰绿色的海水跌宕起伏，覆盖着树林的海岸边布满凌乱的巨石与旋涡。即使他能连踢带爬地游泳，也有可能被海浪冲到石头上，撞碎脑袋。

The Bay of Seals was a lot deeper than his waist, and not so friendly as that little fishpond below his father’s castle. Its waters were grey and green and choppy, and the wooded shore they followed was a snarl of rocks and whirlpools. Even if he could kick and crawl that far somehow, the waves were like to smash him up against some stone and break his head to pieces.

“在找美人鱼吗，杀手？”戴利恩看到山姆注视着海湾，于是说道，这位从东海望加入的歌手年轻英俊，长着一头金发和浅褐色眼睛，看上去更像个神秘的王子而不是黑衣弟兄。

“Looking for mermaids, Slayer?” asked Dareon when he saw Sam staring off across the bay. Fair-haired and hazel-eyed, the handsome young singer out of Eastwatch looked more like some dark prince than a black brother.

“不。”山姆不知道自己在找什么，甚至不明白为什么会上这条船。你要去学城铸造颈链，当上学士，好为守夜人军团效力，他告诉自己，但这个念头只能让他更烦恼。他不想当学士，不想让沉重而冰冷的颈链套在脖子上，他也不想离开弟兄们，那些是他唯一的朋友——当然，他更不愿意回去重新面对那将他送来长城等死的父亲。

“No.” Sam did not know what he was looking for, or what he was doing on this boat. Going to the Citadel to forge a chain and be a maester, to be of better service to the Watch, he told himself, but the thought just made him weary. He did not want to be a maester, with a heavy chain wrapped around his neck, cold against his skin. He did not want to leave his brothers, the only friends he’d ever had. And he certainly did not want to face the father who had sent him to the Wall to die.

这趟旅程对其他人的意义则大不一样。对他们来讲，这意味着幸福的结局。吉莉在角陵城会很安全，幅员辽阔的维斯特洛隔开了她和恐怖的鬼影森林，她会当上他父亲城堡里的女仆，吃饱穿暖，生活在一个大世界的小角落，一个她身为卡斯特的妻子时做梦也想不到的大世界。她将眼看着儿子茁壮成长，成为猎人、马夫或者铁匠。假如那男孩天赋异秉，甚至会有骑士收他作侍从。

It was different for the others. For them, the voyage would have a happy ending. Gilly would be safe at Horn Hill, with all the width of Westeros between her and the horrors she had known in the haunted forest. As a serving maid in his father’s castle, she would be warm and well fed, a small part of a great world she could never have dreamed of as Craster’s wife. She would watch her son grow up big and strong, and become a huntsman or a stablehand or a smith. If the boy showed any aptitude for arms, some knight might even take him as a squire.

伊蒙学士去的也是好地方。他将沐浴在旧镇温暖的轻风中，享受余生，与学士同伴们交流，并将智慧分享给助理学士和学徒。但他休息的权利是用一生的辛劳挣来的，山姆由衷地为他感到高兴。

Maester Aemon was going to a better place as well. It was pleasant to think of him spending whatever time remained him bathed by the warm breezes of Oldtown, conversing with his fellow maesters and sharing his wisdom with acolytes and novices. He had earned his rest, a hundred times over.

就连戴利恩也会过得更开心。他因强奸罪被送来长城，虽然他自己坚决否认，他自认应当成为某位诸侯的随从，伴其左右献艺。现在机会来了，琼恩任命他为“浪鸦”，以取代尤伦——尤伦失踪多时，大概已死——负责游历七大王国，歌颂守夜人的英勇，时不时带着新募的人员返回长城。

Even Dareon would be happier. He had always claimed to be innocent of the rape that sent him to the Wall, insisting that he belonged at some lord’s court, singing for his supper. Now he would have that chance. Jon had named him a recruiter, to take the place of a man named Yoren, who had vanished and was presumed dead. His task would be to travel the Seven Kingdoms, singing of the valor of the Night’s Watch, and from time to time returning to the Wall with new recruits.

的确，这趟航程漫长而又艰辛，但对其他所有人来说，至少有个盼头，幸福的结局在等待他们。山姆只能默默地为他们祝福。我是为他们而去的，他告诉自己，为了守夜人，为了别人的幸福。然而他看大海看得越久，就越是感到寒冷深邃。

The voyage would be long and rough, no one could deny that, but for the others at least there would be a happy end. That was Sam’s solace. I am going for them, he told himself, for the Night’s Watch, and for the happy ending. The longer he looked at the sea, though, the colder and deeper it appeared.

不在外头看水面更糟，挤在尾楼底下大家共享的狭促船舱里，山姆的肚子就受不了。他曾试图为正给儿子喂奶的吉莉打气。“这艘船将把我们带到布拉佛斯，”他说，“我们再在那儿找船去旧镇。我小时候看过一本关于布拉佛斯的书，据说该城建于一个潟湖周围，由上百岛屿组成，湖口还有泰坦巨人呢，那是一个数百尺高的石头人哟。他们用船只代替马匹，他们的戏子表演的是精巧的剧本，而非随处可见的愚蠢的即兴闹剧。那里的东西也很好吃，特别是鱼，还有各种各样的蛤、鳗鱼和牡蛎，都是从潟湖中捕上来的新鲜货。转船期间，我们应该有几天空隙，我带你去看戏吃牡蛎吧。”

But not looking at the water was even worse, Sam realized in the cramped cabin beneath the sterncastle that the passengers were sharing. He tried to take his mind off the roiling in his stomach by talking with Gilly as she nursed her son. “This ship will take us as far as Braavos,” he said. “We’ll find another ship to carry us to Oldtown. I read a book about Braavos when I was small. The whole city is built in a lagoon on a hundred little islands, and they have a titan there, a stone man hundreds of feet high. They have boats instead of horses, and their mummers play out written stories instead of just making up the usual stupid farces. The food is very good too, especially the fish. They have all kinds of clams and eels and oysters, fresh from their lagoon. We ought to have a few days between ships. If we do, we can go and see a mummer show, and have some oysters.”

他以为那会让她高兴，结果大错特错。吉莉迟钝无神的眼睛透过几缕肮脏的头发瞥了瞥他，“假如你愿意的话，大人。”

He thought that would excite her. He could not have been more wrong. Gilly peered at him with flat, dull eyes, looking through some strands of unwashed hair. “If you want, m’lord.”

“那你想要什么呢？”山姆问她。

“What do you want?” Sam asked her.

“什么也不要。”她背过身去，将儿子从一边乳头换到另一边。

“Nothing.” She turned away from him and moved her son from one breast to the other.

船只摇晃，搅起肚内的食物，起程前，他刚吃过鸡蛋、培根和炸面包。忽然间，山姆再也无法忍受在船舱里多待一刻。于是他站起身，爬上梯子，去把早饭交给大海。山姆晕船晕得如此厉害，他甚至无暇关心风向，结果呕吐时没选对船舷，污物全溅到了自己身上。虽然如此，他仍然感觉好多了……尽管为时不长。

The motion of the boat was stirring up the eggs and bacon and fried bread that Sam had eaten before the ship set out. All at once he could not stand the cabin one more instant. He pushed himself back to his feet and clambered up the ladder to give his breakfast to the sea. The sickness came on Sam so strongly that he did not stop to gauge which way the wind was blowing, so he retched from the wrong rail and ended up spattering himself. Even so, he felt much better afterward … though not for long.

此船名为黑鸟号，乃是守夜人军团最大的划桨船。在东海望时，卡特·派克告诉伊蒙学士，暴鸦号和利爪号的速度更快，可惜它们是狭长的战舰，是迅捷的猛禽，桨手坐在露天甲板上划船，而斯卡格斯岛之外的狭海水域环境恶劣，黑鸟号才是更好的选择。“狭海多风暴，”派克警告他们，“冬季的暴风雨更猛烈，但秋天的更频繁。”

The ship was Blackbird, the largest of the Watch’s galleys. Storm Crow and Talon were faster, Cotter Pyke told Maester Aemon back at Eastwatch-by-the-Sea, but they were fighting ships, lean, swift birds of prey where the rowers sat on open decks. Blackbird was a better choice for the rough waters of the narrow sea beyond Skagos. “There have been storms,” Pyke warned them. “Winter storms are worse, but autumn’s are more frequent.”

最初十天相当平静，黑鸟号在海豹湾中行驶，从没让陆地离开视野。起风时很冷，但空气中有股清新的咸味。山姆几乎吃不下东西，即使强迫自己吞咽下去，食物在肚子里也留不长，但除此之外，他感觉还不算太糟。他多次鼓励吉莉，尽量让她高兴，事实证明这并不容易。无论他怎么说，她都不肯上甲板去，宁愿留在黑暗中抱着儿子，而婴儿也似乎跟母亲一样不喜欢船。行船期间，他不是哇哇哭闹，就是呕吐母亲的乳汁，还老拉肚子，弄脏了吉莉裹着他为他保暖的毛皮，弄得舱内阵阵恶臭。不管山姆点上多少根牛油蜡烛，粪便的味道始终存在。

The first ten days were calm enough, as Blackbird crept across the Bay of Seals, never out of sight of land. It was cold when the wind was blowing, but there was something bracing about the salt smell in the air. Sam could hardly eat, and when he did force something down it did not stay down for long, but aside from that he did not do too badly. He tried to bolster Gilly’s courage and give her what cheer he could, but that proved hard. She would not come up on deck, no matter what he said, and seemed to prefer to huddle in the dark with her son. The babe liked the ship no more than his mother did, it seemed. When he was not squalling, he was retching up his mother’s milk. His bowels were loose and always moving, staining the furs that Gilly wrapped him in to keep him warm and filling the air with a brown stench. No matter how many tallow candles Sam lit, the smell of shit persisted.

室外要舒服多了，尤其是戴利恩唱歌的时候。歌手很受黑鸟号的船员们欢迎，因为他会在他们划桨时表演。他会唱所有他们喜欢的歌：有悲伤的歌，比如《吊死黑罗宾的日子》、《人鱼挽歌》和《我的秋天》；也有雄壮的歌，比如《铁枪》和《七子七剑》；还有《贵妇的晚餐》、《她的小花儿》和《快乐处女麦吉特》这样的靡靡之音。每当他唱到《狗熊与美处女》时，所有桨手都会跟着唱，而黑鸟号仿佛在水面上飞翔。早在艾里莎·索恩手下受训时，山姆就知道戴利恩的武艺不精，但他有副好嗓门，伊蒙学士形容说那像加了蜜的雷。他也会弹木竖琴，会拉小提琴，甚至会自己写歌……尽管山姆对他的歌不太感冒，无论如何，坐着听歌算是船上最好的消遣，就是箱子太硬，太多木刺，让山姆不由得感谢自己生了个肥屁股。胖子的优势就是走到哪儿都自带坐垫，他心想。

It was more pleasant out in the open air, especially when Dareon was singing. The singer was known to Blackbird’s oarsmen, and would play for them as they rowed. He knew all their favorite songs: sad ones like “The Day They Hanged Black Robin,” “The Mermaid’s Lament,” and “Autumn of My Day,” rousing ones like “Iron Lances” and “Seven Swords for Seven Sons,” bawdy ones like “Milady’s Supper,” “Her Little Flower,” and “Meggett Was a Merry Maid, a Merry Maid Was She.” When he sang “The Bear and the Maiden Fair,” all the oarsmen joined in, and Blackbird seemed to fly across the water. Dareon had not been much of a swordsman, Sam knew from their days training under Alliser Thorne, but he had a beautiful voice. “Honey poured over thunder,” Maester Aemon had once called it. He played woodharp and fiddle too, and even wrote his own songs … though Sam did not think them very good. Still, it was good to sit and listen, though the chest was so hard and splintery that Sam was almost grateful for his fleshy buttocks. Fat men take a cushion with them wherever they go, he thought.

伊蒙学士也喜欢在甲板上度日，裹着一堆毛皮凝视水面。“他在看什么？”某天，戴利恩疑惑地问，“对他而言，这上面跟船舱底下不是一样黑吗？”

Maester Aemon preferred to spend his days on deck as well, huddled beneath a pile of furs and gazing out across the water. “What is he looking at?” Dareon wondered one day. “For him it’s as dark up here as it is down in the cabin.”

老人听见了他的话。伊蒙的眼睛虽然看不清，耳朵却没问题。“我并非生来就是盲人，”他提醒他们，“我记得上回经过这儿的情形，记得每一块岩石、每一棵树和每一波海浪，记得灰色的海鸥在船只的尾浪后面飞翔。我当时三十五岁，戴上颈链已经十六年了。伊戈想要留我在身边辅佐他统治国家，但我知道自己的位置是在这里，最终他拗不过我，只好派出金龙号载我北上，还让他的朋友邓肯爵士亲自护送我抵达东海望。历史上，娜梅莉亚曾把六位国王用黄金镣铐锁拿住送来长城，自那以后，新人到来时没有过如此盛况。伊戈也清空了地牢，这样我就不用独自立誓。他说他们就是我的荣誉护卫——其中一位乃布林登·河文，后来被选为总司令。”

The old man heard him. Though Aemon’s eyes had dimmed and gone dark, there was nothing wrong with his ears. “I was not born blind,” he reminded them. “When last I passed this way, I saw every rock and tree and whitecap, and watched the grey gulls flying in our wake. I was five-and-thirty and had been a maester of the chain for sixteen years. Egg wanted me to help him rule, but I knew my place was here. He sent me north aboard the Golden Dragon, and insisted that his friend Ser Duncan see me safe to Eastwatch. No recruit had arrived at the Wall with so much pomp since Nymeria sent the Watch six kings in golden fetters. Egg emptied out the dungeons too, so I would not need to say my vows alone. My honor guard, he called them. One was no less a man than Brynden Rivers. Later he was chosen lord commander.”

“您是指血鸦？”戴利恩说，“我知道一首关于他的歌，《一千零一只眼睛》。但我以为他是百年之前的人了。”

“Bloodraven?” said Dareon. “I know a song about him. ‘A Thousand Eyes, and One,’ it’s called. But I thought he lived a hundred years ago.”

“我们不都一样？我也曾经像你一样年轻啊。”这似乎让他感到悲哀。他开始咳嗽，然后闭上眼睛睡去，每当海浪晃动船只，他也在毛皮之中摇摆。

“We all did. Once I was as young as you.” That seemed to make him sad. He coughed, and closed his eyes, and went to sleep, swaying in his furs whenever some wave rocked the ship.

他们在灰色的天空下航行，先往东，再往南，然后又往东，海豹湾渐渐开阔。船长是个头发斑白的黑衣弟兄，肚子就像啤酒桶，他穿的黑衣褪色很厉害，因此船员们称他为“老破烂”。他很少说话，大副却把他没说的都补上了，每当风势减弱或者桨手们劲头不足，他就会朝咸涩的空气一通咒骂。大家早上喝燕麦粥，下午喝豌豆粥，晚上就着麦酒吃腌牛肉、腌鳕鱼和腌羊肉。戴利恩唱歌，山姆呕吐，吉莉或哭泣或给婴儿喂奶，伊蒙学士在睡梦中颤抖，这就是日常生活，而风日益寒冷，日益强劲。

Beneath grey skies they sailed, east and south and east again, as the Bay of Seals widened about them. The captain, a grizzled brother with a belly like a keg of ale, wore blacks so stained and faded that the crew called him Old Tattersalt. He seldom said a word. His mate made up for him, blistering the salt air with curses whenever the wind died or the oarsmen seemed to flag. They ate oaten porridge in the mornings, pease porridge in the afternoons, and salt beef, salt cod, and salt mutton at night, and washed it down with ale. Dareon sang, Sam retched, Gilly cried and nursed her babe, Maester Aemon slept and shivered, and the winds grew colder and more blustery with every passing day.

即便如此，这也比山姆的上次航程好得多。当时他还不到十岁，乘坐着雷德温大人的三桅船青亭女王号出海。她有黑鸟号的五倍那么大，华丽雄伟，三张酒红色巨帆，一排排桨叶在太阳底下闪耀着金色与白色的光芒。离开旧镇时，那些桨上下摆动的景象令山姆为之屏息……但那是雷德温海峡最后的美好记忆。跟现在一样，大海让他反胃，而这招致了父亲大人的厌恶。

Even so, it was a better voyage than the last one Sam had taken. He had been no more than ten when he set sail on Lord Redwyne’s galleas, the Arbor Queen. Five times as large as Blackbird and magnificent to behold, she had three great burgundy sails and banks of oars that flashed gold and white in the sunlight. The way they rose and fell as the ship departed Oldtown had made Sam hold his breath … but that was the last good memory he had of the Redwyne Straits. Then as now the sea had made him sick, to his lord father’s disgust.

抵达青亭岛后，情况变得更加糟糕。雷德温大人的双胞胎打一开始就鄙视山姆。每天早晨在校场上，他们都找出新花样羞辱他，第三天，霍拉斯·雷德温在他求饶时要他学猪叫，第五天，他弟弟霍柏让一个厨房小妹穿上自己的盔甲，用木剑把山姆打得哭出来。当她展示出真面目时，所有的侍从、侍酒和马夫哄堂大笑。

And when they reached the Arbor, things had gone from bad to worse. Lord Redwyne’s twin sons had despised Sam on first sight. Every morn they found some fresh way to shame him in the practice yard. On the third day Horas Redwyne made him squeal like a pig when he begged for quarter. On the fifth his brother Hobber clad a kitchen girl in his own armor and let her beat Sam with a wooden sword until he began to cry. When she revealed herself, all the squires and pages and stableboys howled with laughter.

“这孩子只不过需要一点历练，为生活增添调料，”当晚，他父亲告诉雷德温大人，但雷德温家的小丑却摇晃着铃铛回应道，“对，一撮胡椒，一点上好的丁香，嘴里再塞一只苹果。”从此以后，蓝道大人禁止山姆在派克斯特·雷德温的屋檐下吃苹果。回航途中他继续晕船，但离开青亭岛好歹让他长长松了口气，甚至喉头污物的滋味也变得容易接受了。直到回家之后，母亲才悄悄告诉他，父亲原本不打算让他回来。“霍拉斯将代替你，而你将留在青亭岛当派克斯特大人的侍酒，如果你让他满意的话，就会跟他女儿订婚。”山姆仍然记得母亲轻柔的触摸，记得她用一小块沾着口水的蕾丝手帕，擦去他脸上的泪水。“我可怜的山姆，”她喃喃地说，“可怜的山姆。”

“The boy needs a bit of seasoning, that’s all,” his father had told Lord Redwyne that night, but Redwyne’s fool rattled his rattle and replied, “Aye, a pinch of pepper, a few nice cloves, and an apple in his mouth.” Thereafter, Lord Randyll forbade Sam to eat apples so long as they remained beneath Paxter Redwyne’s roof. He had been seasick on their voyage home as well, but so relieved to be going that he almost welcomed the taste of vomit at the back of his throat. It was not until they were back at Horn Hill that his mother told Sam that his father had never meant for him to return. “Horas was to come with us in your place, whilst you remained on the Arbor as Lord Paxter’s page and cupbearer. If you had pleased him, you would have been betrothed to his daughter.” Sam could still recall the soft touch of his mother’s hand as she washed the tears off his face with a bit of lace, dampened with her spit. “My poor Sam,” she murmured. “My poor poor Sam.”

能再见到母亲真好，他一边想，一边抓住黑鸟号的栏杆，凝视着岩石岸边飞溅的浪花。假如她看到我穿上黑衣，或许还会感到骄傲。“我长大成人了，妈妈，”我可以向她宣布，“我当上了事务官，成为了守夜人的汉子。弟兄们有时候还叫我‘杀手’山姆呢。”他也想跟弟弟狄肯和妹妹们重逢。“看，”他可以告诉他们，“看哪，我终于有点用了。”

It will be good to see her again, he thought, as he clung to Blackbird’s rail and watched waves breaking on the stony shore. If she saw me in my blacks, it might even make her proud. “I am a man now, Mother,” I could tell her, “a steward, and a man of the Night’s Watch. My brothers call me Sam the Slayer sometimes.” He would see his brother Dickon too, and his sisters. “See,” I could tell them, “see, I was good for something after all.”

但父亲也在角陵城等他。

If he went to Horn Hill, though, his father might be there.

一想到父亲，他又开始反胃。山姆俯身到船舷外呕吐，幸好这回不是逆风，这回他走对了方向。无论如何，他呕吐的水平越来越高了。

The thought made his belly heave again. Sam bent over the gunwale and retched, but not into the wind. He had gone to the right rail this time. He was getting good at retching.

卡至少他自己这么觉得，直到黑鸟号远离陆地，向东直穿海湾，朝斯卡格斯岛前进。

Or so he thought, until Blackbird left the land behind and struck east across the bay for the shores of Skagos.

该岛坐落在海豹湾出口处，大得惊人，布满山峰，乃是一片蛮荒之地，居民净是些未开化的野蛮人。山姆在书本上读到过，他们生活在洞穴和阴森偏远的山地里，作战时骑毛发蓬松的大独角兽。“斯卡格斯”在古语中是“岩石”的意思，于是斯卡格斯人自称“岩种”，但其他北境人管他们叫斯卡哥族，并且很不喜欢它们。仅仅一百年前，斯格斯岛曾起兵反叛，好多年后才得以平息，这次战争还夺去了临冬城公爵及其手下数百名武士的性命。有些歌曲中说斯卡哥族是食人族，说他们的战士杀死敌人后会吃其心肝。有个著名的故事讲述古时候的斯卡格斯人航行到附近的斯凯恩岛，抓走女人，屠杀男人，然后用他们的肉在鹅卵石海滩上开了半个月的宴会。无论真假，反正直到今天，斯凯恩岛仍无人居住。

The island sat at the mouth of the Bay of Seals, massive and mountainous, a stark and forbidding land peopled by savages. They lived in caves and grim mountain fastnesses, Sam had read, and rode great shaggy unicorns to war. Skagos meant “stone” in the Old Tongue. The Skagosi named themselves the stoneborn, but their fellow northmen called them Skaggs and liked them little. Only a hundred years ago Skagos had risen in rebellion. Their revolt had taken years to quell and claimed the life of the Lord of Winterfell and hundreds of his sworn swords. Some songs said the Skaggs were cannibals; supposedly their warriors ate the hearts and livers of the men they slew. In ancient days, the Skagosi had sailed to the nearby isle of Skane, seized its women, slaughtered its men, and ate them on a pebbled beach in a feast that lasted for a fortnight. Skane remained unpeopled to this day.

戴利恩会唱那些歌。当斯卡格斯岛荒芜的灰色山峰从海面上升起时，他走到船首，站到山姆身边，“假如诸神够慷慨，我们或许可以瞥到独角兽。”

Dareon knew the songs as well. When the bleak grey peaks of Skagos rose up from the sea, he joined Sam at Blackbird’s prow, and said, “If the gods are good, we may catch a glimpse of a unicorn.”

“假如船长够水平，我们就不会靠得那么近了。斯卡格斯岛附近的水域危险叵测，礁石可以把船壳像蛋壳一样磕破。哦，你别跟吉莉提这些，她已经够害怕的了。”

“If the captain is good, we won’t come that close. The currents are treacherous around Skagos, and there are rocks that can crack a ship’s hull like an egg. But don’t you mention that to Gilly. She’s scared enough.”

“她？她和她那哇哇哭闹的小家伙都很讨厌，我不知道谁更吵。只有当吉莉把奶头塞进他嘴里，他才会停止哭喊，然而接下来又换成吉莉抽泣。”

“Her and that squalling whelp of hers. I don’t know which of them is noisier. The only time he ever stops crying is when she shoves a nipple in his mouth, and then she starts to sob.”

山姆也注意到了。“也许孩子弄疼她了，”他无力地说，“也许他开始长牙……”

Sam had noticed that as well. “Maybe the babe is hurting her,” he said, feebly. “If his teeth are coming in …”

戴利恩用一根手指拨了一下琵琶，弹出嘲弄的音符，“我听说野人比较勇敢。”

Dareon plucked at his lute with one finger, sending up a derisive note. “I’d heard that wildlings were braver than that.”

“她确实很勇敢。”山姆坚持，然而他也不得不承认，没见过吉莉如此委靡不振。虽然她大多数时间都把脸庞隐藏起来，并让船舱保持黑暗，但山姆能看出她的眼睛总是红红的，颊间沾满泪水。他问她出了什么事，她只摇摇头，他只好自己去猜。“她害怕大海，仅此而已，”他告诉戴利恩，“来长城之前，她只见过卡斯特的堡垒及其周围的森林，据我所知，吉莉从没离开自己的出生之地超过半里格。她见过小溪与河流，但没见过湖泊，直到我们路过一个……至于大海……大海教人害怕……”

“She is brave,” Sam insisted, though even he had to admit that he had never seen Gilly in such a wretched state. Though she hid her face more oft than not and kept the cabin dark, he could see that her eyes were always red, her cheeks wet with tears. When he asked her what was wrong, though, she only shook her head, leaving him to find answers of his own. “The sea scares her, that’s all,” he told Dareon. “Before she came to the Wall, all she knew was Craster’s Keep and the woods around it. I don’t know that she went more than half a league from the place that she was born. She knows streams and rivers, but she had never seen a lake until we came on one, and the sea … the sea is a scary thing.”

“别傻了，这不还能看到陆地么？”

“We’ve never been out of sight of land.”

“总有一天就看不到了。”山姆对此耿耿于怀。

“We will be.” Sam did not relish that part himself.

“一点点水嘛，肯定吓不倒杀手。”

“Surely a little water does not frighten the Slayer.”

“对，”山姆撒谎，“吓不倒我。但吉莉……或许你该为他们演奏摇篮曲，以助婴儿入睡。”

“No,” Sam lied, “not me. But Gilly … maybe if you played some lullabies for them, it would help the babe to sleep.”

戴利恩厌恶地撇撇嘴，“除非她给儿子屁眼里插上栓子。我受不了那味道。”

Dareon’s mouth twisted in disgust. “Only if she shoves a plug up his arse. I cannot abide the smell.”

第二天开始下雨，海面更加起伏不定。“我们最好到底下干燥的地方去。”山姆告诉伊蒙师傅，老学士只是微笑，“雨滴在脸上，这感觉很好，山姆。犹如眼泪。请让我再多待一会儿吧，距离我上一次哭泣已经很久了。”

The next day the rains began, and the seas grew rougher. “We had best go below, where it’s dry,” Sam said to Aemon, but the old maester only smiled, and said, “The rain feels good against my face, Sam. It feels like tears. Let me stay awhile longer, I pray you. It has been a long time since last I wept.”

伊蒙学士年迈体弱，山姆不可能把他一个人留在甲板上，他也只好留下。他在老人边上待了将近一个钟头，裹紧斗篷。绵绵细雨渗进皮肤，伊蒙却好像根本没感觉到。他只是叹息，闭上眼睛，山姆移近，为他遮挡住大部分风雨。他很快就会要我扶他回船舱，山姆告诉自己，他一定会的。但他一直没有召唤，最后，遥远的东方响起隆隆雷声。“我们必须下去了。”山姆颤抖着说。伊蒙学士没回答。山姆这才意识到老人睡着了。“师傅，”他一边说，一边轻轻摇晃他的肩膀，“伊蒙师傅，醒醒。”

If Maester Aemon meant to stay on deck, old and frail as he was, Sam had no choice but to do the same. He stayed beside the old man for nigh unto an hour, huddled in his cloak as a soft, steady rain soaked him to his skin. Aemon hardly seemed to feel it. He sighed and closed his eyes, and Sam moved closer to him, to shield him from the worst of the wind. He will ask me to help him to the cabin soon, he told himself. He must. But he never did, and finally thunder began to rumble in the distance, off to the east. “We have to get below,” Sam said, shivering. Maester Aemon did not reply. It was only then that Sam realized the old man had gone to sleep. “Maester,” he said, shaking him gently by one shoulder. “Maester Aemon, wake up.”

伊蒙睁开白色的盲眼。“伊戈？”他回应道，雨水顺着他的脸颊流淌下来，“伊戈，我梦到自己变老了。”

Aemon’s blind white eyes came open. “Egg?” he said, as the rain streamed down his cheeks. “Egg, I dreamed that I was old.”

山姆不知该怎么办。他跪下来抱起老人，走到甲板下面。没人称赞过他强壮，而雨水浸透了伊蒙学士的黑衣，使他重了一倍——即便如此，他整个人也就跟孩童一般。

Sam did not know what to do. He knelt and scooped the old man up and carried him below. No one had ever called him strong, and the rain had soaked through Maester Aemon’s blacks and made him twice as heavy, but even so, he weighed no more than a child.

他抱着伊蒙挤进船舱，发现吉莉把蜡烛全烧完了。婴儿在睡觉，而她蜷缩在角落里轻轻哭泣，身披山姆给她的大黑斗篷。“帮帮我，”他急切地说，“帮我把他擦干偎暖。”

When he shoved into the cabin with Aemon in his arms, he found that Gilly had let all the candles gutter out. The babe was asleep and she was curled up in a corner, sobbing softly in the folds of the big black cloak that Sam had given her. “Help me,” he said urgently. “Help me dry him off and get him warm.”

她立刻站起来，他们一起脱下老学士的湿衣服，将他埋在一堆毛皮下面。他的皮肤冰冷潮湿，摸上去黏黏的。“你也睡进去，”山姆告诉吉莉，“抱住他。用体温捂热他。我们必须让他暖和起来。”她照做了，没多说一个字，但鼻子始终在抽咽。“戴利恩在哪儿？”山姆问，“大家待在一起能暖和一些。我得把他找来。”他正要上去找歌手，脚下的地板突然一个起伏。吉莉发出尖叫，山姆重重地跌倒在地，婴儿醒了，大声哭喊。

She rose at once, and together they got the old maester out of his wet clothes and buried him beneath a pile of furs. His skin was damp and cold, though, clammy to the touch. “You get in with him,” Sam told Gilly. “Hold him. Warm him with your body. We have to warm him up.” She did that too, never saying a word, all the while still sniffling. “Where’s Dareon?” asked Sam. “We’d all be warmer if we were together. He needs to be here too.” He was headed back up top to find the singer when the deck rose up beneath him, then fell away beneath his feet. Gilly wailed, Sam slammed down hard and lost his legs, and the babe woke screaming.

他挣扎着想站起来，船又晃了一下，把吉莉抛入他怀中，野人女孩紧紧抓着山姆，令他透不过气。“别害怕，”他告诉她，“这不过是一次历险。将来有一天你可以讲给儿子听。”但她只是将指甲深深抠入他手臂中，浑身发抖，剧烈啜泣。不管我说什么，只能让她更难受。他紧紧抱住她，尴尬地发现她的胸部紧贴着他。尽管他怕得要命，但这已足够让他那活儿硬起来。她会感觉到的，他羞愧地想，但即便她真的感觉到了，也没有任何表示，只是把他抓得更紧。

The next roll of the ship came as he was struggling back to his feet. It threw Gilly into his arms, and the wildling girl clung to him so fiercely that Sam could hardly breathe. “Don’t you be frightened,” he told her. “This is just an adventure. One day you’ll tell your son this tale.” That only made her dig her nails into his arm. She shuddered, her whole body shaking with the violence of her sobs. Whatever I say just makes her worse. He held her tightly, uncomfortably aware of her breasts pressing up against him. As frightened as he was, somehow that was enough to make him stiff. She’ll feel it, he thought, ashamed, but if she did, she gave no sign, only clung to him the harder.

随后的日子大同小异。他们没见到太阳。灰暗的白昼，漆黑的夜晚，偶有闪电照亮斯卡格斯岛的山峰。他们都很饿，但没人吃得下。船长开了一桶火酒以鼓舞桨手，山姆尝了一杯，只觉数条火蛇顺着喉咙蜿蜒而下，穿过胸膛，教人长出一口气。戴利恩也喜欢上了这种酒，后来鲜有清醒的时候。

The days ran together after that. They never saw the sun. The days were grey and the nights black, except when lightning lit the sky above the peaks of Skagos. All of them were starved yet none could eat. The captain broached a cask of firewine to fortify the oarsmen. Sam tried a cup and sighed as hot snakes wriggled down his throat and through his chest. Dareon took a liking to the drink as well, and was seldom sober thereafter.

船帆时收时放，某天其中一片掉下桅杆，如同一只大灰鸟般飞走了。黑鸟号绕过斯卡格斯岛南岸，礁石群中有艘划桨船的残骸，船员们被冲上海岸，成了白嘴鸦和螃蟹的餐点。“妈的，太靠近了，”老破烂咕哝，“一个大浪就能把我们打到它们边上。”桨手们已经筋疲力竭，但看到这番景象，仍然弓起背使劲划，船只缓缓向着南方的狭海驶去，斯卡格斯岛渐渐缩小，天边只剩若干黑影，仿佛是乌云，又仿佛黑色的峰峦，又或两者皆有。那之后的八天七夜，天气晴朗，海波平静。

The sails went up, the sails came down, and one ripped free of the mast and flew away like a great grey bird. As Blackbird rounded the south coast of Skagos, they spotted the wreckage of a galley on the rocks. Some of her crew had washed up on the shore, and the rooks and crabs had gathered to pay them homage. “Too bloody close,” grumbled Old Tattersalt when he saw. “One good blow, and we’ll be breaking up aside them.” Exhausted as they were, his rowers bent to their oars again, and the ship clawed south toward the narrow sea, till Skagos dwindled to no more than a few dark shapes in the sky that might have been thunderheads, or the tops of tall black mountains, or both. After that, they had eight days and seven nights of clear, smooth sailing.

接着，暴风雨又来了，比先前更猛烈。

Then came more storms, worse than before.

这是三场风暴还是一场，其中有没有片刻平歇？山姆完全不知道，虽然他拼命想要弄清状况。“那有什么关系？”他们全挤在船舱里，戴利恩大声嘶喊。这当然没关系，山姆想告诉他，但只要我想着这个问题，就不会想到被淹死、不会想到呕吐或者伊蒙学士的颤抖。“没关系。”他尖叫着回答，雷声淹没了其余的言语，甲板突然倾侧，将他摔倒。吉莉在抽泣。婴儿尖声啼哭。老破烂正在上面对着船员们大喊大叫，这位衣衫破旧的船长原本从不说话。

Was it three storms, or only one, broken up by lulls? Sam never knew, though he tried desperately to care. “What does it matter?” Dareon screamed at him once, when all of them were huddled in the cabin. It doesn’t, Sam wanted to tell him, but so long as I’m thinking about that I’m not thinking about drowning or being sick or Maester Aemon’s shivering. “It doesn’t,” he managed to squeak, but the thunder drowned out all the rest of it, and the deck lurched and knocked him sideways. Gilly was sobbing. The babe was shrieking. And up top he could hear Old Tattersalt bellowing at his crew, the ragged captain who never spoke at all.

我讨厌大海，山姆心想，我讨厌大海，我讨厌大海，我讨厌大海。一道明晃晃的闪电透过头顶木板间的缝隙照亮了船舱，比白天的日头更明亮。这是一艘结实的好船，一艘结实的好船，一艘好船，他告诉自己，它不会沉没。我不害怕。

I hate the sea, Sam thought, I hate the sea, I hate the sea, I hate the sea. The next lightning flash was so bright it lit the cabin through the seams in the planking overhead. This is a good sound ship, a good sound ship, a good ship, he told himself. It will not sink. I am not afraid.

在暴风雨的间歇中，山姆极想呕吐，却又吐不出来，他紧抓着栏杆，直到指节发白。他听见一些船员嘀咕说，这就是把女人带上船的后果，尤其是带上女野人。“她跟自己的老爸上床，”当狂风再度呼啸时，山姆听见一个人说，“这比卖淫还糟糕，大逆不道。我们都会被淹死的，除非先摆脱她，还有她生下来的小怪物。”

During one of the lulls between the gales, as Sam clung white-knuckled to the rail wanting desperately to retch, he heard some of the crew muttering that this was what came of bringing a woman aboard ship, and a wildling woman at that. “Fucked her own father,” Sam heard one man say, as the wind was rising once again. “Worse than whoring, that. Worse than anything. We’ll all drown unless we get rid of her, and that abomination that she whelped.”

山姆不敢与他们起冲突。他们都比他大，结实强健，多年的划桨生活使得他们肩宽臂壮。但他天天打磨匕首，而每次吉莉离开船舱去解手，他都跟着一起去。

Sam dared not confront them. They were older men, hard and sinewy, their arms and shoulders thickened by years at the oars. But he made certain that his knife was sharp, and whenever Gilly left the cabin to make water, he went with her.

连戴利恩也对野人女孩恶言相向。有一次，在山姆的多方敦促下，歌手唱摇篮曲安抚婴儿，但才唱一段，吉莉就伤心欲绝地痛哭流涕。“七层地狱啊，”戴利恩呵斥道，“你就不能先暂停，等听完一首歌再哭吗？”

Even Dareon had no good to say about the wildling girl. Once, at Sam’s urging, the singer played a lullaby to soothe the babe, but partway through the first verse Gilly began to sob inconsolably. “Seven bloody hells,” Dareon snapped, “can’t you even stop weeping long enough to hear a song?”

“继续唱，”山姆恳求，“只管为她唱歌就行了。”

“Just play,” Sam pleaded, “just sing the song for her.”

“她不需要听歌，”戴利恩说，“只需要被狠狠抽几巴掌，或者被强暴一回。滚开，杀手。”他将山姆推到一边，走出船舱，去弄火酒喝，跟粗犷的桨手弟兄们做伴，从中寻求安慰。

“She doesn’t need a song,” said Dareon. “She needs a good spanking, or maybe a hard fuck. Get out of my way, Slayer.” He shoved Sam aside and went from the cabin to find some solace in a cup of firewine and the rough brotherhood of the oars.

山姆用完了所有办法，他几乎习惯了那味道，但在暴风雨和吉莉的抽泣中，他好几天睡不着。“你能不能给她些什么？”山姆看到伊蒙学士醒来，便压低声音询问，“草药或药水，让她不要如此害怕？”

Sam was at his wit’s end by then. He had almost gotten used to the smells, but between the storms and Gilly’s sobbing he had not slept for days. “Isn’t there something you can give her?” he asked Maester Aemon very softly, when he saw that the old man was awake. “Some herb or potion, so she won’t be so afraid?”

“她没害怕，”老人告诉他，“她的哭声中唯有悲伤，这是药物无法医治的。让她尽情流泪吧，山姆，你堵不住这滔滔浪花。”

“It is not fear you hear,” the old man told him. “That is the sound of grief, and there is no potion for that. Let her tears run their course, Sam. You cannot stem the flow.”

山姆不明白，“她正前往安全的地方。暖和的地方。为什么要悲伤？”

Sam had not understood. “She’s going to a safe place. A warm place. Why should she be grieving?”

“山姆，”老人轻声道，“你有一双好眼睛，却视而不见。她是一位母亲，她在为自己的孩子悲伤。”

“Sam,” the old man whispered, “you have two good eyes, and yet you do not see. She is a mother grieving for her child.”

“那孩子只是晕船而已。我们都晕船。到达布拉佛斯之后……”

“He’s greensick, that’s all. We’re all greensick. Once we make port in Braavos …”

“……那个婴儿也仍然是妲娜的儿子，并非吉莉的亲生骨肉。”

“… the babe will still be Dalla’s son, and not the child of her body.”

山姆过了好一会儿才领会伊蒙的暗示，“这不可能……她不会……那当然是她的孩子。不带上自己的儿子，吉莉决不会离开长城。她爱他。”

It took Sam a moment to grasp what Aemon was suggesting. “That couldn’t … she wouldn’t … of course he’s hers. Gilly would never have left the Wall without her son. She loves him.”

“她为两个孩子哺乳，两个孩子都爱，”伊蒙说，“但爱的程度并不相同，没有一个母亲会给所有孩子同样的爱，甚至连天上的圣母也不例外。我敢肯定，吉莉并非自愿丢下儿子的，总司令大人如何威胁，如何承诺，我猜不到……但一定有过……”

“She nursed them both and loved them both,” said Aemon, “but not alike. No mother loves all her children the same, not even the Mother Above. Gilly did not leave the child willingly, I am certain. What threats the Lord Commander made, what promises, I can only guess … but threats and promises there surely were.”

“不。不，这样做不对。琼恩决不会……”

“No. No, that’s wrong. Jon would never …”

“琼恩不会。但雪诺大人会。很多时候，没有愉快的选择，山姆，只不过其中之一比余下的略少一些悲哀罢了。”

“Jon would never. Lord Snow did. Sometimes there is no happy choice, Sam, only one less grievous than the others.”

没有愉快的选择。山姆想起了他和吉莉一起经历的所有磨难，卡斯特的堡垒，熊老之死，冰雪与寒风，一天一天接一天的雪原之旅，白树村的尸鬼，冷手和满树的乌鸦，长城，长城，长城，长城底下的黑门。这一切都是为什么？没有愉快的选择，没有幸福的结局。

No happy choice. Sam thought of all the trials that he and Gilly suffered, Craster’s Keep and the death of the Old Bear, snow and ice and freezing winds, days and days and days of walking, the wights at Whitetree, Coldhands and the tree of ravens, the Wall, the Wall, the Wall, the Black Gate beneath the earth. What had it all been for? No happy choices and no happy endings.

他想要尖声嘶喊，他想要号叫哭泣，他想要颤抖着呜咽着蜷成一个球。琼恩调换了婴儿，他告诉自己，琼恩调换了婴儿，以保护小王子，好让他远离梅莉珊卓的火焰，远离她的红神。假如她烧死的是吉莉的儿子，又有谁会在乎呢？除了吉莉之外没有人。他不过是卡斯特的小崽子，出自乱伦的怪物，远远比不上塞外之王的儿子重要。他既不能做人质，也不能做祭品，一点用也没有，他甚至没有名字。

He wanted to scream. He wanted to howl and sob and shake and curl up in a little ball and whimper. He switched the babes, he told himself. He switched the babes to protect the little prince, to keep him away from Lady Melisandre’s fires, away from her red god. If she burns Gilly’s boy, who will care? No one but Gilly. He was only Craster’s whelp, an abomination born of incest, not the son of the King-beyond-the-Wall. He’s no good for a hostage, no good for a sacrifice, no good for anything, he doesn’t even have a name.

山姆默默无语地蹒跚上甲板去呕吐，但肚子里没东西可以倒出来。黑夜已经降临，这个夜晚平静得出奇，好多天都没有这样的平静。黑沉沉的海洋仿佛玻璃一般，桨手们坐在桨位上休息，其中一两个睡着了。风动船帆，山姆看到北方的点点繁星，还有被自由民称做“盗贼星”的红色流浪星。那颗星星代表我，山姆悲哀地想，我助琼恩当上总司令，我把吉莉和婴儿带给他。没有幸福的结局。

Wordless, Sam staggered up onto the deck to retch, but there was nothing in his belly to bring up. Night had come upon them, a strange still night such as they had not seen for many days. The sea was black as glass. At the oars, the rowers rested. One or two were sleeping where they sat. The wind was in the sails, and to the north Sam could even see a scattering of stars, and the red wanderer the free folk called the Thief. That ought to be my star, Sam thought miserably. I helped to make Jon Lord Commander, and I brought him Gilly and the babe. There are no happy endings.

“杀手。”戴利恩出现在山姆身边，完全没察觉他的痛苦。“这是个甜美的夜晚，多么难得。看，星星全出来了。我们甚至有可能看到月亮。也许最糟糕的阶段已经过去。”

“Slayer.” Dareon appeared beside him, oblivious to Sam’s pain. “A sweet night, for once. Look, the stars are coming out. We might even get a bit of moon. Might be the worst is done.”

“不。”山姆擦了擦鼻子，用胖胖的手指指向乌云密布的南方，指向那片聚集的黑暗。“看那儿。”他说。话刚出口，突然远方来了一道沉默的闪电，光亮炫目，云层闪烁了片刻，仿佛层层叠叠的山峦，呈现紫色、红色，还有黄色，高高矗立在世界尽头。“最糟糕的还没有到来。最糟糕的才刚刚开始。永远也没有幸福的结局。”

“No.” Sam wiped his nose, and pointed south with a fat finger, toward the gathering darkness. “There,” he said. No sooner had he spoken than lightning flashed, sudden and silent and blinding bright. The distant clouds glowed for half a heartbeat, mountains heaped on mountains, purple and red and yellow, taller than the world. “The worst isn’t done. The worst is just beginning, and there are no happy endings.”

“诸神保佑，”戴利恩笑道，“杀手，你可真是个胆小鬼。

“Gods be good,” said Dareon, laughing. “Slayer, you are such a craven.”