Deep inside all of us, we know there is someone we were meant to be. And we can feel when we're becoming that person. The reverse is also true. We know when something's off and we're not the person we were meant to be.
在我们所有人的内心深处，其实是知道我们注定成为怎样的人的。而且当我们正在成为那个人的时候，我们是能感觉到的。反过来也是如此。当事情偏离轨迹的时候，我们知道自己并未成为那个本该成为的人。
Consciously or not, we are all on a quest for answers, trying to learn the lessons of life. We grapple with fear and guilt. We search for meaning, love, and power. We try to understand fear, loss, and time. We seek to discover who we are and how we can become truly happy.
无论是否意识到，我们都在寻找答案，试图学会人生的课程。我们尽力克服恐惧和愧疚。我们搜寻意义，爱与力量。我们试着去理解恐惧，失去和时间。我们探寻着去发现我们是谁，以及我们怎样才能真正快乐。
Sometimes we look for these things in the faces of our loved ones, in religion, God, or other places where they reside. Too often, however, we search for them in money, status, the "perfect" job, or other places, only to find that these things lack the meaning we had hoped to find and even bring us heartaches.
有时我们在所爱之人的脸上，在宗教，神，或者其他它们存在的地方寻找。然而，更多的时候，我们在金钱，地位，“完美”的工作，或者其他地方搜寻，却只能发现这些东西缺乏了我们希望找到的意义，更甚还会让我们心痛不已。
Following these false trails without a deeper understanding of their meaning, we are inevitably left feeling empty, believing that there is little or no meaning to life, that love and happiness are simply illusions.
跟随这些错误的踪迹，而没有对它们的意义有深入的理解，留给我们的将是不可避免地感到空虚，开始相信人生少有甚至毫无意义，爱与快乐都只是错觉。
Some people find meaning through study, enlightenment, or creativity. Others discover it while looking at unhappiness, or even death, directly in the eye. Perhaps they were told by their doctors they had cancer or had only six months to live. Maybe they watched loved ones battle for life or were threatened by earthquakes or other disasters.
有些人通过学习，开悟或创造来找到意义。其他人发现意义，来自于不幸，甚至是直面死亡。或许他们被医生告知得了癌症，或者只有六个月的生命。也许他们看着所爱之人为人生而战，或者受到地震或其他灾害的威胁。
They were at the edge. They were also on the brink of a new life. Looking right into the "eye of the monster, " facing death directly, completely and fully, they surrendered to it-and their view of life was forever changed as they learned a lesson of life.
他们如在刀尖。他们也在新生活的边缘。直视"眼中的怪物"，面对死亡，他们直接地、完全地、充分地，向它投降——而正因他们学会了人生之课，他们对生活的看法永远地改变了。
These people had to decide, in the darkness of despair, what they wanted to do with the rest of their life. Not all of these lessons are enjoyable to learn, but everyone finds that they enrich the texture of life. So why wait until the end of life to learn the lessons that could be learned now?
在这黑暗的绝望中，这些人不得不决定，他们在余生究竟想要做什么。不是所有的这些经验教训都能学得很愉快，但每个人都发现他们丰富了人生的质感。所以为什么非得等到垂死之际才学习这些本可以现在就学会的课程呢？
What are these lessons life asks us to master? In working with the dying and the living, it becomes clear that most of us are challenged by the same lessons: the lesson of fear, the lesson of guilt, the lesson of anger, the lesson of forgiveness, the lesson of surrender, the lesson of time, the lesson of patience, the lesson of love, the lesson of relationships, the lesson of play, the lesson of loss, the lesson of power, the lesson of authenticity, and the lesson of happiness.
哪些是生活要求我们掌握的课程？在面对死亡与生活，显而易见的是我们大多数人都被同样的课程挑战：恐惧之课，内疚之课，愤怒之课、宽恕之课、投降之课，时间之课，耐心之课、爱之课、关系之课，玩乐之课，失去之课，力量之课，真实之课和幸福之课。
Learning lessons is a little like reaching maturity. You're not suddenly more happy, wealthy, or powerful, but you understand the world around you better, and you're at peace with yourself. Learning life's lessons is not about making your life perfect, but about seeing life as it was meant to be. As one man shared, "I now delight in the imperfections of life. "
学习课程有一点像逐渐成熟。你不可能突然变得更快乐，更富有，更有力量，但是你更好地了解了周围的世界，并达到了自我的平和。学习人生之课并不是让你的生活变得完美，而是看见人生本该成为的模样。正如某人说的，“我现在因人生的不完美而愉悦。”
We're put here on earth to learn our own lessons. No one can tell you what your lessons are;it is part of your personal journey to discover them. On these journeys we may be given a lot, or just a little bit, of the things we must grapple with, but never more than we can handle. Someone who needs to learn about love may be married many times, or never at all. One who must wrestle with the lesson of money may be given none at all, or too much to count.
我们降临地球只为学会自己的课程。没有人可以告诉你，你的课究竟是哪些，它是你发现它们的私人之旅的一部分。在这些旅程中我们可能得到许多，或者仅仅一点，我们必须努力克服的东西，绝不会比我们能够胜任的更多。有些需要学习如何爱的人可能成婚数次，也可能从未结婚。一个必须应对金钱之课的人或许会一个子儿都得不到，也可能会数钱数到手软。
We will look at life and living in this book, discovering how life is seen from its outer edge. We will learn that we are not alone, seeing instead how we are all connected, how love grows, how relationships enrich us. Hopefully, we will correct the perception that we are weak, realizing that not only do we have power, we have all the power of the universe within ourselves. We will learn the truth about our illusions, about happiness and the grandness of who we really are. We will learn how we have been given everything we need to make our lives work beautifully.
我们将会在本书中面对生命和生活，发现从外界边缘看生活是怎样的。我们将学到我们并不孤单，反而看到我们都被连接着，我们将学习如何让爱滋长，如何令关系使我们富足。我们希望纠正我们是弱者的看法，意识到我们不只有力量，我们有自己内在宇宙的所有力量。我们将学习有关我们错觉的真相，有关我们究竟是谁的幸福与伟大。我们将学习如何用给予我们所需要的一切，使我们的生活更美好。
In facing loss, the people we have worked with realized that love is all that matters. Love is really the only thing we can possess, keep with us, and take with us. They've stopped looking for happiness "out there." Instead, they've learned how to find richness and meaning in those things they already have and are, to dig deeper into the possibilities that are already there.
在面对失去时，我们影响到的那些人意识到，唯爱需在意。爱真的是我们唯一拥有、陪伴和随行的。他们不再从外界寻求幸福。相反地，他们学会了如何在已经得到的和他们已经成为的事物里找寻富足和意义，去更深地挖掘已然存在的可能性。
In short they've broken down the walls that "protected" them from life's fullness. They no longer live for tomorrow, waiting for the exciting news about the job or the family, for the raise or the vacation. Instead, they have found the richness of every today, for they have learned to listen to their heart.
总之，他们打破了“保护”他们免于人生充实的围墙。他们不再为明天而活，不再等待工作、家庭、加薪或假期这些激动人心的消息。相反，他们找到了每一天的丰硕，因为他们学会了如何倾听自己的内心。
Life hands us lessons, universal truths teaching us the basics about love, fear, time, power, loss, happiness, relationships, and authenticity. We are not unhappy today because of the complexities of life. We are unhappy because we miss its underlying simplicities. The true challenge is to find the pure meaning in these lessons.
生活给了我们课程，宇宙的真理教导我们有关爱、恐惧、时间、力量、失去、幸福、关系和真实的基础知识。我们今天的不开心不是由于生活的复杂性。我们的不开心是因为我们错过了隐藏的简单性。真正的挑战是在这些课程中找到纯粹的意义。
Many of us think we were taught about love. Yet we do not find love fulfilling, because it's not love. It is a shadow darkened by fear, insecurities, and expectations. We walk the earth together yet feel alone, helpless, and ashamed.
我们当中的很多人认为我们是被教导着懂得爱情的。但我们找不到爱的充实，因为这不是爱情。它是被阴影笼罩的恐惧，不安，以及期望。我们一起在地球上行走，却感到孤独、无助和羞愧。
When we face the worst that can happen in any situation, we grow. When circumstances are at their worst, we can find our best. When we find the true meaning of these lessons, we also find happy, meaningful lives. Not perfect, but authentic. We can live life profoundly.
当我们面对在任何情况下可能发生的最糟情形时，我们成长了。在最糟糕的情况发生时，我们能够找到最好的我们。当我们找到真正意义上的这些课程时，我们也同时发现了幸福、有意义的生活。或许并不完美，但却真实。我们可以深刻地经历人生。
Perhaps this is the first and least obvious question: Who is it that is learning these lessons? Who am I?
We ask ourselves this question over and over again during our lives. We know for sure that between birth and death there is an experience that we call life. But am I the experience or the experiencer? Am I this body? Am I my faults? Am I this disease? Am I a mother, banker, clerk, or sports fan? Am I a product of my upbringing? Can I change-and still be me-or am I cast in stone?
这也许是最明显和最不明显的问题：是谁在学习这些课程？我是谁？
我们在人生中反复问自己这个问题。我们确信出生和死亡之间是一种我们称之为生活的体验。但是我到底是这个经验还是经验者呢？我是这具躯壳吗？我是我的过错吗？我是这种疾病吗？我是一位母亲、银行家、秘书或运动迷吗？我是我的教养的产物吗？我可以改变吗——并且仍然还是我——或者我是一成不变的吗？
You are none of those things. You undoubtedly have faults, but they are not you. You may have a disease, but you are not your diagnosis. You may be rich, but you are not your credit rating. You are not your resume, your neighborhood, your grades, your mistakes, your body, your roles or titles.
你哪一种都不是。你无疑有缺点，但他们并不是你。你可能有一种疾病，但你不是你的病情诊断。你可能很富有，但你不是你的信用评级。你不是你的简历，你的邻居，你的成绩，你的错误，你的躯壳，你的角色或头衔。
All these things are not you because they are changeable. There is a part of you that is indefinable and changeless, that does not get lost or change with age, disease, or circumstances. There is an authenticity you were born with, have lived with, and will die with. You are simply, wonderfully, you.
所有这些都不是你，因为他们是易变的。有一部分的你是无法定义和亘古不变的，那部分的你不会为年龄、疾病或境遇而改变。那是你生来就有的，伴你成长的，并与你共死的真实。简单地说，美妙地说，你，就是你。
Watching those who battle illness makes it clear that to see who we are we must shed everything that is not authentically us. When we see the dying, we no longer see those faults, mistakes, or diseases that we focused on before. Now we see only them, because at the end of life they become more genuine, more honest, more themselves-just like children and infants.
看着那些与病情战斗的人们，使得一切已经很清晰可见，我们必须摆脱一切非真实的我们。当我们看到死亡时，我们不再看到之前关注的那些缺点、错误或疾病。现在我们看到的只有那些人，因为在生命的尽头他们变得更真实、更诚实、更像自己——就像是婴童一样。
Are we only able to see who we actually are at life's beginnings and endings? Do only extreme circumstances reveal ordinary truths? Are we otherwise blind to our genuine selves? This is the key lesson of life: to find our authentic selves, and to see the authenticity in others.
我们是不是只能在人生的起点和终点看到我们实际上是谁？是不是只有在极端的情况下才会显示普遍的真相？否则是不是我们就看不到真正的自我？这就是生命的关键课程：要找到我们真实的自我，并且看到其他人的真实性。
The great Renaissance artist Michelangelo was once asked how he created sculptures such as the Pietas or David. He explained that he simply imagined the statue already inside the block of rough marble, then chipped away the excess to reveal what had always been there. The marvelous statue, already created and eternally present, was waiting to be revealed.
伟大的文艺复兴时期艺术家米开朗基罗，曾经被问到是如何创造如圣母怜子像或大卫那样的雕塑。他解释说只需要想象粗糙大理石块之中已然存在的雕像，然后凿掉剩下的那些，显现出来的就是一直存在在那里的。奇妙的雕像，早已被创造并永恒存在，正等待着被揭示。
So is the great person already inside of you ready to be revealed. Everyone carries the seeds of greatness. "Great" people don't have something that everyone else doesn't; they've simply removed a lot of the things that stand in the way of their best selves.
所以在你心里的那个伟大的人已经准备好要显现了。每个人都肩负伟大的种子。"伟大"的人们不曾有过别人没有的东西;他们仅仅只是移除了许多阻碍他们显现最好自我的事物。
Unfortunately, our inherent gifts are often hidden by layers of masks and roles we've assumed. The roles-such as parent, worker, pillar of community, cynic, coach, outsider, cheerleader, nice guy, rebel, or loving child caring for ailing parent-can become "rocks" burying our true selves.
不幸的是，我们内在的天赋往往隐藏在面具和扮演的角色之下。角色——比如父亲（母亲）、工人、社区核心人物、愤世嫉俗者、教练、局外人、啦啦队长、好人、反叛或照顾生病父母的有爱的孩子——可以成为埋葬我们真实自我的“岩石”。
Sometimes roles are thrust upon us: "I expect you to study hard and grow up to be a doctor." "Be ladylike." "Here at the firm, you must be efficient and diligent if you expect to advance."
有时角色是被强加于我们身上的：“我希望你努力学习，长大后成为一名医生。”“像个淑女一样。”“在这个公司里，如果你期望进步，你必须有效率、勤奋。”
Sometimes we eagerly assume roles because they are, or seem to be, useful, uplifting, or lucrative: "Mom always did it this way, so that's probably a good idea." "All Scout leaders are noble and sacrificing, so I will be noble and sacrificing." "I don't have any friends at school, the popular kids are surfers, so I'll be a surfer."
有时我们热切地承担角色，因为它们是或似乎是有用的、令人振奋、或利益丰厚的：“妈妈总是用这种方式，因此这也许是一个好主意”。“所有的童军领袖都是高尚的和愿意牺牲的，因此我将是高尚的和愿意牺牲的。”“我在学校没有任何朋友，受欢迎的孩子都是冲浪者，那么我就要做个冲浪者。”
Sometimes we consciously or unwittingly adopt new roles as circumstances change and are hurt by the result. For instance, a couple may say, "It was so wonderful before we got married. Once we were married, something went wrong." When the couple was together before, they were just being. The moment they got married they took on the roles that had been taught to them, trying to "be a husband" and "be a wife." On some subconscious level they "knew" what a husband or wife should be like and tried to act accordingly instead of being themselves and discovering what kind of spouses they wanted to be.
有时候，环境变化和被结果所伤时，我们在有意或无意中会采用新的角色。比如说，一对夫妇可能会说，“我们结婚之前的日子实在太美好了。可一旦我们结婚，什么都不对劲了。”当这对夫妇在一起之前，他们只是相处。他们结婚的那一刻，他们开始扮演那些曾教给他们的角色，试图成为“一个丈夫”和“一个妻子”。在一些潜意识的层面，他们“知道”一个丈夫或妻子应该怎么样并且试图采取相应的行动，而不是做自己以及发现他们希望成为什么样的配偶。
Or, as one man explained, "I was such a great uncle, now I feel so disappointed in the father I've become." As an uncle, he interacted with children from his heart. When he became a father, he felt he had a specific role to assume, but that role got in the way of his being who he is, authentically himself.
或者，正如一个人解释的，“我是多么伟大的一个叔叔呀，可现在我对自己成为的这个父亲感到失望。”作为一位叔叔，他用心接触孩子。当他成为了一位父亲时，他觉得他需要承担一个特定的角色，但这种角色拦住了去路，那条通往他成为自己、真正的自己的那条路。
Page 2-7 from "Life Lessons: Two Experts on Death & Dying Teach Us About the Mysteries of Life & Living", by Elisabeth Kubler Ross and David Kessler
翻译内容来自《人生之课：两位死亡专家教给我们生命与生活的奥秘》第二至七页，作者伊莉沙白·库勒·罗斯与大卫·凯斯勒。
本译文仅供个人研习、欣赏语言之用，谢绝任何转载及用于任何商业用途。本译文所涉法律后果均由本人承担。本人同意简书平台在接获有关著作权人的通知后，删除文章。
