特别的星
The Special Star
这份友情，质朴又迷人，穿透我的灵魂！数年寻寻觅觅，总算开花结果。回首往事，流着满足的泪，洋溢着幸福的笑。此刻，除了感激上苍，还能做什么呢！语言苍白无力，无法表达我的内心。我只希望在你面前表现最真实的自己。恨不能把心掏出给你看，让你明白我的赤诚。如果你看我的眼睛，你能读懂我的心。语言会说谎，但是眼神不会。凝视我的双眼，你会读懂我心底所有秘密。可惜，你我千里相隔，而我必须凭借拙劣的文字，向你描述我的心情。赐我一双翅膀吧！我要飞到你身边，让你感觉我真诚的火焰。
This friendship, simple and fascinating, penetrates through my soul. Years of seek eventually flowers and bears fruits. Looking back on the past, I shed contented tears with happy smiles. At this moment, I can do nothing but show my gratitude to Heaven! Words are too powerless to express my heart. I simply hope to show you my truest face. I am dying to pull out my heart so that you can feel my absolute sincerity. You can read all secrets in my heart if you look into my eyes. Words may tell lies, but eyes will never! What a pity! We are so far away that I have to describe my heart in poor words. Give me a pair of wings! I want to fly to you so that you can feel my sincere flame.
学生时代深受自卑之苦。在城里读书，那些鄙视目光，刺伤我的自尊心。我读书很勤奋，经常得第一，稍微缓解我的自卑。中学就很痛苦，大学里居然想自杀。没有人真正理解我，我一直是个孤独的人。我的封闭，让生活了无生趣。幸好那些好书拯救了我，没有它们我早就精神崩溃了。现在，我慢慢走出了自卑。特别这几年，英语上的进步，给我一点自信和快乐。
I was tortured by inferiority in my student age. Those scornful sights hurt my self-esteem deeply when I studied in urban schools. I often came first by studying very hard, which eased my inferiority slightly. I felt very painful in middle school and even wanted to commit suicide in university. Without understandings from others, I always felt very lonely. The self-enclosing killed all joys of my life. Fortunately, those good books saved me, otherwise, I would have fallen apart. Now, I have gradually walked beyond inferiority. Especially these several years, my progress in English gave me a little confidence and happiness.
我需要书籍给予我精神力量，也需要朋友给予我理解。书和朋友是我的双翅，让心灵在天空飞翔。在这个金钱和权力主宰的世界里，不容易保持纯朴的心。我必须真实，必须简单，否则我的心无法平安。
I need books to strengthen my spirit and friends to understand my heart. Books and friends, like my two wings, enable my heart to fly in the sky. It is not easy to keep a simple heart in this world that is dominated by money and power. My heart cannot enjoy peace without being true and simple.
我希望找到能照亮我灵魂的星。这个希望昭示着生命的意义。高傲的孤独，也需要温暖的理解和抚慰，没有灵魂愿意长久孤独。我在呼唤，也在渴求。或许上苍需要考验我，呼唤却没有真挚的回应，渴求却没有满足的喜悦。失望与挫折接踵而至，却让灵魂越来越坚强，越来越深邃。我体验到生命更深的奥秘，这莫非就是真正孤独的收获！我的心是柔软的，也是坚强的。我固守那份纯净的天空，不让邪恶和虚伪轻易污染。我的双脚踏在淤泥中，但是心灵却在天空自由飞翔。我要永远与内心的丑恶作斗争，不断反省错误，不断修正行为。我知道自己的卑微，但我仍坚信，只要一生努力，终会成就自我。
I have been hoping to find the star which can brighten my soul. This hope manifests the meaning of my life. The warm understanding and solace are needed for prideful solitude, and no soul is willing to suffer long solitude. I am calling and yearning. Maybe God wants to test me, so there is no sincere response for my calling and no content joy for my yearning. Disappointments and frustrations come one after another but make my soul stronger and deeper. I have experienced deeper mystery of life, and isn't it the gain of true solitude? My heart is soft but strong. I try to protect my pure sky from being polluted by evil and falsity. I stand in the mud but my heart flies freely in the sky. I will always fight against my inner evils, meditate on my errors and correct my behaviors. I know that I am petty and low, but I still firmly believe that I will reach self-fulfillment through life-long efforts.
满天繁星，眨着眼睛，但目光并未投向我的心灵。那些可爱的星星，沉浸在他们的心事里，陶醉在他们的美梦里，而我不愿做那样的梦，所以我不能靠近那些星星。没有共同的梦境，就不会有共鸣的快乐。为了逃避孤寂，勉强改变自己，去适合别人的梦，那样我会更加痛苦。生命渴望真实的表现，就像花开一样自然。
The stars are winking in the sky, but they do not turn their eyes on my heart. Those lovely stars are immersed in their cares and intoxicated in their beautiful dreams, but I do not want to dream such dreams, so I cannot approach them. There is no resonant happiness without the same dream. I will suffer more pain if I reluctantly adapt myself to others' dream in order to escape from my loneliness. Life desires true expression which is as natural as flowering.
告诉我，你是那颗特别的星星吗？你和我编织着相似的梦境吗？你愿意在此停留吗？
Tell me! Are you that special star? Do you weave the similar dream as mine? Are you willing to stay here?
译于2008年9月15日。
