虽然与我先生在一起的大多数时间都很开心，但摩擦总还是有的。我有一个非常不好的习惯，不开心的时候我的第一反应是就此沉默，不再搭理我的先生。他对此很恼火，一度认为我是不在乎他的，就此事我们之前进行过至少两次深入的交谈。在学习正面管教之后，我明白了自己其实不是不在乎他，恰恰相反，我对于亲密关系的人都非常在乎，这里包括我的先生也包括我的儿子。我的不开心来自于我的一个限制性信念----我在乎的人怎么可以不懂我？
Most of the time, my husband and I are happy and enjoy our life together, however, there are still frictions between us sometimes. I usually switch to silence and wouldn't talk to my husband once I got upset. To be honest, I don't think it's good for our relations. He was mad, and thought I never care about him. Regarding this problem, we at least got into all of this twice. After studying on positive discipline, I realized that I was not to ignore him, by contrast, I do care the people who are in the close relations with me, especially my husband and my son. My unhappiness was also from one of my restrictive beliefs---how the person I love could not read my mind?
前两天我们全家一起去参加亲子运动会，前面都是父母与孩子合作或者只孩子参加的项目，我们都玩的很高兴。后来当别人家的爸爸都去拔河时，我老公撇着嘴说，孩子不参加只有家长参加啊？我才不去呢。我当时就火了，觉得很扫兴。尤其是看到别人家都是爸爸在队伍里拔河，妈妈和孩子在外面给爸爸加油。而我们一家全傻呆呆外头看着，儿子顺势就瞎跑走了，我们又去追儿子…我感觉我当时一定是要气炸了。然后后面的整个活动过程我的脸都很臭，而我先生从一副完全不明白发生了什么的样子渐渐也开始火大起来，乘兴而来败兴而归。
We went to the Family Campaign a few days ago. At the beginning, we were very happy with some joined activities between parents and children or individual activity by childself. I felt disappointed and angry all of sudden when my husband said he was not willing to attend the tug-of-war, because he thought it's ridiculous if only daddy involved, but child. When I saw other moms and children cheered for the daddies, but, looked at us, only stared at the game outside.…..At same time, my son ran away, and we had to chase him up......I felt that I was as sick as a parrot. Afterward, I was totally in a bad mood. My husband started angry either from feeling nothing. We were coming this activity for fun, but by end of the day, we all lost my tempers.
吃午饭的时候，我平静一些了。于是开始跟我先生交流上午的事情，他颇为不爽的说，你想让我参加你告诉我啊？你不说我怎么知道呢？我想的是你已经很累了，我跑去拔河，你自己在这看儿子你不是更累么？再说你看得住儿子么？我脱口而出，现在我更生气了！你看你都不相信我！俩人一下都沉默了。
I was getting calm down at the lunch time. So I decided to have a dialogue with my husband about this morning issue. He was upset and asked why I didn't ask him to attend the activity directly, and how could he know what I thought so?! He claimed that he was considering to take some baby-sitting workload from me, and worried about I had limited capability to hold our naughty son on my own. "You didn't even believe me! I am pissed off！" I shouted at him. At which point, there was stunned silence.
过了一段时间，我把儿子哄去午睡，我们俩又开始聊，这期间我想到了我的先生是“老鹰”而我是“狮子”，想到我们各自的性格特性，我慢慢平静了，于是我跟老公说，我知道你是体贴我怕我累，也担心儿子跑太快我追不上，怕他摔倒受伤。我当时想的是我们既然是来参加集体活动，就要有始有终积极参与，也是给孩子树立好的榜样。我之所以生气是因为我觉得咱们都结婚这么久了，类似的事情以前也发生过，你怎么还是不懂我怎么想呢？以后我会直接告诉你我期望的是什么，如果你能不用我提醒就知道，那会是意外惊喜。我先生说，你以后还是都直接告诉我吧，你不说我真的不知道。那个当下我还是超想打他一顿的…………
After a while, we started over the dialogue when my son took a nap. I was just aware of my husband's top card was "eagle" and "lion" was mine, and thought about the respective character……I felt relieved a little bit. I said to my husband, “I knew you worried that I was too tired, and I couldn't chase our baby up, and even worried about our son got hurt. However, I was thinking to be a behavior model for our son, to participate every activity as much as we could. The reason I got upset was because the similar cases happened uncountable times, how could you had no clue what I thought this time? Somehow, I will let you know directly what I expect next time. If you could get my point without my reminder, it would be very much happy surprise.” My husband replied, "You better tell me directly from now on, otherwise, I really have no idea what I should do" Honestly, at that moment, I still wanted to beat him up……
