I have not written the diary for a long time. It's time to share feeling whatever it is. Generally, in these three years. real happiness seemed a difficult task for me. Facing the death, farewill, illness lead to mental destruction one after another. I didn't know how to cheer me up,how to get rid of the past, how to forget the sorrow. At that time, I felt alone and helpless actually. I didn't want to get through that time any more.I called it "my grey period".
As a saying goes,time is the best medicine. Actually, for me, not.
I tried to exaust myself, to excercise, to travel. Ways as many as possible i tried were in vain.Sluggish, anxiousness, laziness, the three key words,the worst in the past. I hated myself and was eager to change, to struggle.to try a new life. Failed, climbed up, failed,climbed up, failed. Maybe my effort was not enough. I always asked myself, others can do this, why can't I? I didn't want to blame for anyone, anything. Although my life is in mess,I will learn how to clear it up. Maybe, in the past I didn't know how to deal with the sorrow, the lost, the valuable.I believe i will be stronger and stronger to face new people, new challenges, new problems.
Thus, many thanks for the worst days.Many thanks for the friends surrounding me for the whole time. I accept the new myself and love myself. "Try to be better" is not just talking.
The saying" no pains, no gain" is not right. The gain can be obtained due to the pain, in reverse it's not. I feel honored to try different things, failure can not defeat me.Failure doesn't mean the end, but the rebirth.
No fear, climb up like a solider.
Nothing can defeat me unless i give up
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