Chapter 3 Clutter

生词+短语+句子

Harbor - As for any worries that the public might harbor, his message...

Harbor作为动词有下面几种解释:

v.t.

1. to give shelter to: to harbor refugees.

2. to conceal; hide: to harbor fugitives.

3. to keep or hold in the mind; maintain; entertain:

4. to house or contain.

5. to shelter (a vessel), as in a harbor.

v.i.

6. (of a vessel) to take shelter in a harbor.

此处应该是 3 吧,keep or hold in the mind ...表示民众很“关切,关注”

Be festooned with

In the early weeks of the term I handed back papers that were festooned with brackets.

这个地方意思有点类似be full of ...如果是我,可能会用这个。但是这个 be festooned with ... 牛逼在于让我看到了“各种颜色的brackets”

Go belly up

Companies that go belly-up have "a negative cash-flow position."

这里这个 belly up 其实就是 go bust,但是用了belly up,我仿佛看到一个翻起肚皮的死鱼...有趣!

Organic - Constituting an integral part of a whole; fundamental

There is no style store; style is organic to the person doing the writing, as much a

part of him as his hair, or, if he is bald, his lack of it.

Put on air - 装腔作势

The reader will notice if you are putting on airs.

Put on fight - 反抗,反击

They put up a fight.

Go out on a limb - To do or say something that lacks evidence or support

Americans are unwilling to go out on a limb.

Wriggle through - 这里应该指“频繁出入于”

Watch them wriggle through TV interviews without committing themselves.

一些相似或相近的词/词组

Growing arsenal of jargon

His trove of equivocal statements / superfluous words

Insidious

Verbal Camouflage/ euphemism

Gaudy

Tinseled

August

Dignified

Conspicuous

Pompous/ egotistical

Cast about for

Go in search for

Economy

Simplicity

Presidency

Tenure

The populace

The public

Fad words

Buzz word

Qualifier

frill

Garnish

Ornate

让我感觉有趣的句子:

It’s the langue of the flight attendant demonstrating the oxygen mask that will drop down if the plane should run out of air. 如果飞机缺氧啦,乘务员就不会那么啰嗦啦!我们真的太啰嗦啦!到了紧要关头的时候,我们就会言简意赅啦!

If he had his own kid in the chair he would say, “Does it hurt?”He would be short, be himself.

人们总是喜欢装!说白了是作!有时候我们故意摆摆谱,clutter就出现了!另外,通过这个例子,我想到我们写作和说话的目的应该是能够传达意思。所以,对一个小孩子你就不要用那么高深的话语,简单明了就好了。

总结:

作者有一个厉害之处在于“勾引读者”。每一章,从标题开始,就把作者带入到疑问和探索答案的过程中。比如看到clutter和style,我就会想“什么是clutter, 什么是style”...当我知道这个答案的时候,下一个题有出现了“我要怎么避免clutter?我要如何有自己的style?”等等...作者用这种方式抓住读者的心,并且在整个过程中一步一步地解决读者的疑问,还不忘抛出下一个问题。

Clutter 这一章跟前一章“Simplicity”可以算是姊妹篇了,前面一章在强调“Simplicity”,今天这张就很透彻地分析Clutter,What is clutter? 到Why people use clutter? 一直讲到How to recognize clutter and avoid it?

What is clutter?

Clutter is the laborious phrase, the ponderous euphemism, is political correctness gone amok.... it’s a disease! It’s the enemy.

Why clutter?

在讲到Dentist问病人病情的时候,作者用了一个句子来解释什么是Clutter,且告诉我们Dentist clutter的原因是:to make his professional role more important and to blunt the painful edge of truth. 初次之外,作者提到公司clutter是为了要隐藏自己的过错,政客为了给自己的行为做辩护或平息民愤或隐藏事实,故意用些绕弯子且模棱两可的话。Clutter is enemy!!

How to avoid clutter?

Look for the clutter in your writing and prune it ruthlessly.

在style这一章,作者继续用相同的方法,在文章前部就提出了一些问题,让读者思考,然后一步一步引导读者找寻答案。我觉得关于I-ness的那个讨论最为明显。他分成好几个部分:为什么要用?那些地方不合适用?有些人用的不当会怎么样?如果有些地方不允许用,那怎么办?

1. 关于I-ness

- 充分体现humanity

Writing is an intimate transaction between two people, conducted on paper, and it will go well to the extent that it retains its humanity.

- 有些领域可能不太允许I/we 等方式的表达,但是作者依旧可以在文章中体现“I-ness”。这让我想到昨天我们在群里讨论“personal transaction”的时候Amartya也有提到说某些academic文章里不能有personal的东西...我想这点是不是值得讨论一下?

- Good writers are visible just behind their words.

- Sell yourself and your subject will exert its own appeal.

2. Be yourself. Style不是你想要就有的...硬性加上去只能会让我们显得“丑陋和不自然”

- relax

- have confidence

- speak in natural words

3. 作者对于clutter和simplicity做了进一步的解释。我们“精练”的目的是把核心内容提炼出来,然后在一步步进行加工。

The point is that you have to strip your writing down before you can build it back up. You must know what the essential tools are and what job they were designed to do.

4. 减少干扰,避免不必要的小动作,如喝水..

The writer will do anything to avoid the act of writing.

5. 千万不要太多!!还没开始,就意淫!

You think how august it will look in print. You think of all the people who will read it. You think that it must have the solid weight of authority. You think that its style must dazzle. No wonder you tighten; you are so busy thinking of your awesome responsibility to the finished article that you can't even start. Yet you vow to be worthy of the task, and, casting about for grand phrases that wouldn't occur to you if you weren't trying so hard to make an impression, you plunge in.

思考:

1. 关于纠错

在本章的最后,当提到如何去帮助学生避免clutter的时候,Zinsser的做法我非常的喜欢。作为一个老师,我们通常都会给学生“纠错”,但是如何纠错?什么时候纠错?什么样的错用什么样的方法来纠正呢?这是我思考的问题,也是我最近在学习的问题。Zinsser,在指出学生的错误时,并不是全盘否定学生的成果,而是给予独立思考的机会,引导学生自我纠正。这样做可以给学生足够的成就感,能够激发学生的学习热情。

2. 关于clutter 和 variety

在雅思托福等考试中,都强调用词的多样。有的老师在教雅思考试的时候,会告诉学生用一些“高级的词”。这和作者今天在文章中提到的某些观点似乎有冲突,比如:due to the fact that / because, sufficient/ enough, implement/ do ... 要如何平衡呢?

疑问:Writing is an intimate transaction between two people, conducted on paper, and it will go well to the extent that it retains its humanity.

two people 是指 “作者本人以及作品里所呈现出的作者吗”?

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