Where Monica Gets a New Roommate
莫妮卡的新室友
[Scene:Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, andMonica are there],
Monica:There's nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with!
Joey:C'mon, you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him!
Chandler: All right Joey, be nice, So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?
Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk? just, 'cause, I don't want her to go through what I went through with Carl -oh!
Monica: Okay, everybody relax, This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and - not having sex.
Chandler:Sounds like a date to me.
Chandler:Alright, so I'm back in high school, I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realize I am totally naked.
All: Oh, yeah. Had that dream.
Chandler:Then I look down, and I realize there's a phone there.
Joey: Instead of...?
Chandler: That's right.
Joey:Never had that dream.
Chandler:All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I don't know what to do, everbody starts looking at me.
Monica: And they weren't looking at you before?!
Chandler: Finally, I figure I'd better answer it, and it turns out it's my mother, which is very, very weird, because she never calls to me!
Ross:Hi.
Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.
Monica: Are you okay? sweetie?
Ross: I just feel someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck...
Chandler: Cookie?
Monica: Carol moved her stuff out today.
Joey: Ohh.
Monica: Let me give you some coffee.
Ross: Thanks.
Phoebe: Ooh! Oh!(She starts to pluck at the air just in front of Ross)
Ross: No, no don't! Stop clearsing my aura! No, just leave my aura alone, okay?
Phoebe: Fine! Be murky!
Ross: I'll be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope she'll be very happy.
Monica: No, you don't.
Ross: No, I don't, to hell with her, she left me!
Joey: And you never knew she was a lesbian...
Ross: No! Okay?! Why does everyone keep fixating on that? She didn't know, how should I know?
Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian... Did I say that out loud?
Ross: I told mom and dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well.
Monica: Oh really, so that hysterical phone call I got from a woman at sobbing 3:00 A.M,"I'll never have grandchildren, I'll never have grandchilder" was that? A wrong number?
Ross: Sorry.
Joey: Alright Ross. look. You're feelign a lot of pain right now, You're angry. You're hurting. Can I tell you what the answer is? Strip joint! C'mom, you're single! Have some hormones!
Ross: I don't want be single, okay? I just...I just-I just wanna be married again!
