what is the essence of marriage? i am not married yet maybe i have no right or experience to say and share, but i can think about.

cruelly but factual to say, for common woman, marry a good condition family is more important. woman needs to give birth to a new baby. a wealthier family can give a good starting point to a baby even before he was born.

"god made man and woman, meaning too much out of words from many aspects" and so the world becomes more beautiful.

they are different, they need each other to become themselves.

the process of starting to fall in love is the process of knowing each other, because of some same thing or excepting thing they are attracted, this is the start, then knowing seems like validation process, then is the calibration.

in this process, values, principles, recognition, method, all is important, so reasonable person is very important, it is the basis and precondition. so from this perspective looking at myself, i was a very emotional person, and i always thinking too much but doing less, it also can be said that my "black and white horse" are very strong, but the knight is so weak that the cart is always out of balance and control, so point is get the knight grow as soon as possible and as better and faster as you can.

so how to grow, learning, using, using repeatedly, keep going, do it for a long time and in the quality of future, until you finished. this process is method itself.

so back to love and marriage, of course love is very important, but there is choice and principle concept there and very important. further back to look, you yourself are the root of everything.

one had better not be wrongly restrained by emotion and morality, if because of no recogniton, seems like wild chargers, very dangerous.

because of i am an emotional person, i made many mistakes by wrong emotion. i am very regretful. so i must learn to know my emotion, learn more skills to offset that to get renewal.

blind date is a kind of way for two people knowing each other, it is not necessary to definite it so bad impression, more important is yourself, not outside thing, this is the principle itself.

again, our attention is limited, so what is your attention distribution?  everyday eating drinking washrooming sleeping, reading, working, wechatting, weiboing, on the roading, how do you want to achieve wealth freedom, please answer yourself.

do you have what tools or principles to help you for better? how do you do that?

what tough and obstacles do you have?

what do you really want?

before you said so many emotion you had, seems like that made something wrong. if you have another chance to come over gain or talk to the young you, what will you say? what you would not do and what you would do uncompromisingly? 

many things are products of conception, so right concept is very important.

doing the right things in right way is very important.

life is consists of choices, values decide choice.

emotion is not the whole, self-willed is not the whole, right recognition principles and action are more important. so looking at what the stage you are in? what you should do to correct and to be better and have progress?

for me, saying less do more, emotional thinking less simple natural action more are important things.

pay more concentrated attention more, distracting attention moment for a moment less, is important.

do something related to the future and helpful, has the quality of long term, is important, like reading, writing, using english reading or getting information, which using process itself is helpful for practicing, is important thing.

not delaying and lazy, more hard working diligent, strict requirements and priciples, are important.

attention time money be better type not good type, truth, principles, bottom line, is important.

complaining, excusing, explaining, covering, showing off, worrying about if showing good, slaving, not important, should be eliminated.

put your attention on your growth, ask yourself often, slowly day by day, you will cultivated a good habit of doing right things instead of things which are wasting time, your life efficiency will be much more different, you will like the you who are in the future, so what you are doing changing correcting now is important for the future you.

asking yourself if you get alittle bit progress today, if yes say you are very good to yourself give you a beautiful smile by mirror. if not, go reading as accumulation.

so when you are facing marry thing, you need to make sure yourself, looking at yourself carefully, summarizing your principles for choosing, what basic condition you have, what do you want, what do you need for your future.

you need to get freedom by action, not by thinking or saying, even learning without action is useless, not only not good but also bad, bad for your emotion, cause you have good possibility but you didn't finish all the task, that is the bad.

so now i think the most important element for the man i will marry is he needs to be the one who likes learning, eager for growth. this is important i think for now.

ask yourself, what is your extreme character, your most obvious feature or impression on yourself, do you like you?

kind? servicing spirit? true? simple? frankly? straightforward? sincere? honest? faithful?

reliable? responsible? well-disciplined? principled? compromisable?

immaterial? charitable? phychical?

i like loneliness, love, so become love itself, that will be good.

i think i see some framework.

love

morality

biological

family

surviving

meaning

spirit

ability

hope

experience

emotion obstacle

responsibility

mission

the above key words i will talk about later.