最近，我在长达一小时的深度冥想中感受到一个过去未曾体验的境界：
有那么几分钟，头脑里想的不再是“我”的感觉，比如腿酸，姿态和呼吸，心里不再出现任何与自己有关的念头。
也就是说，那个“我”消失了，却又看到仿佛有另一个“我”在注视着这一切。
恰逢读到一段散文符合此时此刻的心境。我以意会的方式把它翻译出来，与你分享。
放下，心灵方得治愈
Healing through letting go
眼睛睁大听我说
我想闭上眼睛 用被子蒙住头 遮住房间的光
我想停在原地 不理会任何人
不再回答问题 不去听他人喊加油 向前冲
我想掩藏内心的愤怒和恐惧
我披着受害者的外衣
以正义为名 大声斥责对方
我作出一副防备的姿态
问苍天 为何生活如此艰难
Eyes wide open
A part of me wants to keep my eyes closed, and pull the covers over my head, block out the light trying to be turned on in my room
A part of me wants to stay right where I am, and wants anyone to ask me questions, push me forward
A part of me wants to hide my anger and fear, my still beliefs, with my pointing fingers, my victim hood, my righteousness
I want to defend why, life is not easy
我多想让这世界听到 一次次从战斗中归来的我 已遍体鳞伤
我想为我的痛苦正名 将这残破之躯冰冻在无际的山谷 永不凋零
我不愿再次受伤 宁愿被转头去也不愿直视
我不愿睁开眼 因为一旦醒来 就意味着我必须保持清醒 必须承担起愈合生命之苦的重担
我必须亲手缝合残破不堪的伤口
为此我得拼尽全力
只有真真正正的爱惜自己 才能彻底治愈
我不愿再多看一眼 因为就在我斥责他人的同时 手指也对着我自己
怒目圆睁的 是我的双眼 是我看这世界的唯一通道
A part of me wants the world to hear I have been hurt too many times, too many
A part of me wants to justify my pain, patronized, as frozen, and unable to let it go
A part of me is so afraid to what is hurting me, that I would rather scape than face it.
A part of me is so afraid to open my eyes because the very nature of waking up is to be aware, to be accountable, to be responsible, for the healing of my life, and knows I won't take the task, to be able to loving myself until full
A part of me is so afraid to look and to see because in the fingers that I have been pointing would be pointing back to me.
The angry eyes that I have been looking out of the world are my eyes, my responsibility.
我当然知道 自己在愤怒和痛苦时 也会扪心自问 值得这样受苦吗?
这痛苦难道就是生命的代价?
我不敢看 因为我知道 一旦睁开双眼 我就必须放手
放手 意味着重生
若要重生 我就不得不去发现自己到底是谁
A part of me knows that when call of angry and pain,
I love to ask myself “is it really worth the misery?
Is the price I am paying worth my precious life?”
A part of me is afraid of see because knows it is seen, I would be asked to let go.
And letting it go, I would be asked to be reborn.
That is being reborn, I have to be uncovered who I truly am.
我知道 当我一旦开始看 就不可能视而不见
觉醒过后 一路前行 不断拉伸 不停生长
但我深知 每一寸的生长 都真实的存在 非他人之功 我不再执守于梦境
在我的身体里 有股力量推着我生长 从暗黑的房间里冲出 穿过雾霭
那是野性 无所畏惧的力量 刺破肌肤的褶皱 向外生长
那力量停在睫毛尖上 流动在血管中
我并不畏惧 它带领我的生命到达别样天地 向着自由的天地 光芒万丈
A part of me knows that when I begin to see, I would never be able to unseen again.
That in awaking, then I will begin the sometimes scare process that perpetually move forward,
Pressure of stretching and growing, andstretching and growing again
But another part of me knows in every ounceand inch that being, that I am serving no one, not one single life by staying asleep
A part of me is backing me to move up and backand out of all places engrosses, the dark rooms, the stacked air
A part of me is compelled by this up and out great wilderness and asking to discover the power hidden and creases of my skin
Resting on the tips of my eye lashes
Travelling in the veins through me
Part of me is not afraid to look who longsto see, who longs to live in my freedom, who is calling me to the widest of my being
我深知疼痛中生长的分量 可是在撕裂中生长 是生命的职责
听到这神谕 我不能再继续装睡
在成长的苦痛中 我终于明白 除非倒下 成长没有别的路好走
尽管我依然心存不满 但我仿佛看到了生命的另一种可能
让我从泥地里重新爬起来 站直身体
A part of me knows my sours, knows my magnitude, knows my duty, my call, to stop choosing to stay asleep
To follow my pain till I know that there is nothing more to do with it, but lay it down.
A part of me knows this, and calls to meall of this discontent, and gently shows me signs of life on the other side
Shows me the gift of rising up and out of bedI have made on the ground
现在闭上眼睛
注意你身体的知觉
感受你的手臂 你的腿 你的脚踝 你的脚
深深的呼气 再吸气
感受你肩膀间的空隙
跟自己独处
Close your eyes now.
Arrive in your body
Notice your arms, your legs, your ankles, your feet
Breathe deeply, and feel it between your shoulders blades
Arrive here with yourself
你听到内心那小小的声音吗？
她对你说 你的生命不止是你曾经的选择
她对你说 你的心也一路跟着她
她说 当你准备好了 就跟我一起探索你的至美真纯
如果你仔细听 它就在那
忘掉苦涩和绷带 毕竟 那一面不是你人生的全部
Can you hear the small voice inside of you?
It has been telling you that there is more oflife than the life that you have been choosing.
Can you hear the small voice inside of you thathas been gently guiding your heart all along?
Can you hear the small voice inside that is telling you
When you are ready, you are welcome to join me in the truth of your great beauty
It is here if you listen closely
Beside the bitter and bandage, live another part of you
站直 双脚抓实地面 掌心向上
内心敞亮 清澈 坚定
睁开双眼
在你心里 你想要回到这片土地 扎根于此
一切皆有可能 自由 丰实
你的改变 你的宽恕 并非是有其他什么人告诉你
是你自己想要放下
那是你的权力 那是你自己的选择
别太担心你该如何度过此生
别太担心你该如何减轻痛苦
你身体里自有智慧 引导你穿过此刻
帮助我们睁开双眼
她带着我们 到内心深处 终于回家了
Standing tall, feet strongly planted intothe earth, palms turn to face the sky, heart loud, clear, resolute, eyes wide open
There inside of you, a wonder’s part of you is calling you to step in to the land and bonding, unbounding potential, freedom and abundance
Any change and forgiveness that you have experienced in your life, was not because someone else tell you to let it go
It was because you chose to
And power is yours, the choice is yours
Do not worry yourself too much with how to live with this self
Do not worry yourself too much with how torelease your pain
Do not worry yourself too much with the practical side of this
For there, this intelligence living within you, it is guided you through this moment,
It is helping us open our eyes, as it guiding us always
To this heart, to this homeness
启示有很多种形式
别担心你如何才能获得自由
那本来就充满神奇 是个神迹
你只需要去仔细听真正想要的东西 而不是苦痛和折磨你的东西
你只需要聆听自己 因为答案早就在你心里
觉醒 才能让你到那扇门
你想要真真正正的活一次
你想要的释放生命
你无所畏惧
你就是那个人 唯一为此生负责的人
Guidance comes from many forms
Do not worry yourself too much with how you will alternatively arrive with your freedom
For it is magic and miracle
All you must worry yourself is to listen intently to, not interested to pain and suffering any longer.
All you must worry yourself is to listen intently to part of you already knows
To arrive the door is wakening
You are longing to be alive
You are longing be fulling present to your one precious life
You are not afraid
You are ready to be the one, to fully responsible to your life
生命是单纯的存在 是无痛的存在
生命本身既没有愤怒 也没有恐惧
生命就在那里 让我们经历 只有睁开双眼 一切伤害才会成过眼云烟
若要找回自由 我们不得不放弃此生所有
转而相信 我们拥有的 其实是 此生
你冥冥中知道 这才是真相
你隐约听到脑中低沉平静的声音 它对你说
你的生命是如此珍贵 你值得好好过
Life itself is pure of being, empty of suffering
Life itself is free from anger and fear
Life is here for us to live and wonder up,until we open our eyes, let it go that it hurts
In order to find our liberation, to drop the notion we are owed everything of this life
And realize that instead, we are owe to ourselves
A part of you knows that it is truth
A part of you can hear a deep voice and resounding voice, from over your head
Because your life, you one precious life is so worth it
