The Origin of this book

I have little use for the past and rarely think about it;However,I would briefly like to tell you how I came to be a spiritual teacher and how this book came into existence.

我从不依靠，也从不考虑过去的一切；然而，我将要简要地告诉你我是如何成为一个精神导师以及这本书是因何而存在的。

Util my thirtieth year, I lived in a state of almost continuous anxiety interspersed with periods of suicidal depression. It feels now as if I am talking about some past lifetime or somebody else's lfe.

我在一个几乎满布不间断的焦虑，有一段时间甚至是被令人想自杀的沮丧中的州中生活了30年。此刻看来，我好像在聊及一段尘封的往事，甚至是于己无关的生活。

One night not long after my twenty-ninth birthday,I woke up in the early hours with a feeling of absolute dread.I had woken up with such a feeling many times before, but this time it was more intense than it had ever been.The silence of the night,the vague outlines of the furniture in thedark room,the distant noise of a passing train everything felt so alien,so hostile,and so utterly mean-ningless that it created in me a deep loathing of the world.The most loathsome thing of all,however,was my own existence.What was the point my continuing to live with this burden of misery?Why carry on with this continuous struggle?I could feel that a deep longing for annihilation,for nonexistence,was now becoming much stronger than the instinctive desire to continue to live.

在我过完29岁生日不久后的一个夜晚，我比以往提前了几个小时醒来，一种极度的恐惧向我侵袭而来。我以前也曾这样醒来过，但是，这次，这种感觉比以前要更加强烈。静寂无声的深夜，黑夜中家具模糊不清的轮廓，随着火车离去的远去的噪音，所有的一切都如此的陌生与格格不入。如此的敌意满满，如此的毫无意义。以致于这使我对这个世界充满了深深的厌恶。然而，最令我感到憎恶的是我的存在。到底是什么让我在精神的痛苦的压力下坚持活着？为什么还要这样勉强支撑下去？我能感受到一股极度的渴望毁灭，渴望消失在我心底油然而生。它变得比生存的本能更加的强烈。

"I can not live with myself any longer."This was the thought that kept repeating itself in my mind.Then suddenly I became aware of what a peculiar thought it was."Am I one or two?" If I can not live with myself, there must be two of me:the 'I' and the 'self' that 'I' cannot live with."Maybe," I thought,"only one of them is real." I was so stunned by this strange realization that my mind stopped. I was fully conscious, but there were no more thoughts. Then I felt drawn into what seemed like a vortex of energy. It was a slow movement at first and then accelerated. I was gripped by an intense fear,and my body started to shake. I   heard the words "resist nothing," as if spoken inside my chest.I could feel myself being sucked into a void. It felt as if the void was inside myself rather then outside. Suddenly,there was no more fear.and I let myself fall into that void. I have no recollection of what happened after that.  

“我再也无法与自我相伴。”这种想法不受控制地在我的脑海中回响着。突然，我意识到这是多么异常的想法啊。“我是一个完整体还是两部分组成？”如果我无法与我自己相依存，那么，我必然是两个单位组成的：自我与本我（无法与自我相依存）。“或许”，我想，“它们当中只有一个是真实的”。我对自己的想法大吃一惊以致于我停止了思考。我完全是有意识的，但是我的大脑一片空白。然后我感觉自己被拉扯进了一个精神风暴当中。开始时，很缓慢，然后不断加速。我被一种剧烈的恐惧紧紧抓住，我的身体开始颤抖。我听到一种声音“放弃抵抗”在我的胸膛中咆哮，我感觉我自己被卷入一种虚无当中。而且，这种虚无似乎是我内心产生的，而不是外界的影响所导致。突然，我感到无所畏惧，我让自己陷入虚无当中，然后，我对接下来发生的事情毫无记忆。

I was awakened by the chirping of a bird outside the window.I had never heard such a sound before.My eyes were still closed,and I saw the image of a precious diamond.Yes,if a diamond could make a sound, this is what it would like be like.I opened my eys.The first light of dawn was filtering through the curtains.Without any thought,I felt,I knew,that there is infinitely more to light than we realize.That soft luminosity filtering through the curtains was love itself.Tears came into my eyes, I got up and walked arond the room,I recognized the room,and yet i know that i had never truely seen it before.Everything was fresh and pristine,as if it had just came into existense.I picked up things,a pencil,an empty bottle,marveling at the beauty and aliveness of it all.

我被窗外的鸟叫声吵醒，我以前从未听过这样动听的声音，我依然闭着双眸，然后我的脑海中浮现出珍贵的宝石的景象，如果宝石能够发出声音，那么这就应当是它发出的声音，我睁开了眼，黎明的第一道光线从窗帘中透过，毫无疑问，我明白，比我们意识到的光线要多的多。这从窗户当中透过的，柔软的光就是爱啊！我的眼眶中饱含泪水，我翻身起床，在房间中渡步，我开始正视这个房间，到现在我意识到，我以前从未看见它的真面目。一切都那么新颖与原始，好像它们刚刚诞生不久，我拾起一支铅笔，一个空瓶，惊叹于它们的美丽与活力。

That day i walked around the city in utter amazement at the miracle of life on earth,as if i had been born into this world.tine.

For the next five months, i lived in a state of uninterrupted deep peace and bliss.After that, it diminished somewhat in intensity,or perhaps it just seemed to because it became my natural state.i could still function in the world,although i realized that nothing i ever did could possibly add anything to what i already had.

那天，我漫步在城市中，十分震惊于地球上生物的奇迹，仿佛我刚刚来到这个世界一般。

接下来的五个月中，我生活在一个永远充满和平与快乐的州，那之后，强度有所降低，或许仅仅是因为它已经成为了我的自然状态，我在这个世界上依旧能够正常尽我的责任，尽管我意识到，我过去所做的任何事可能无法对现在的我所拥有的东西有任何裨益。

i knew,of ccourse,that something profoundly significant had happened to me,but i didn't understand it at all. it wasn't until several years later,after i had read spiritual texts and spent time with spiritual teachers,that i realized that what everybody was looking for had already happened to me. i understod that the intense pressure of suffering taht night must have forced my consciousness to whitdraw from the indentification with the unhappy and deeply fearful self,which is ultimately a fiction of the mind.this withdrawal must have been so complete that this false, suffering self immediately collapsed,just as if a plug had been pulled out of an inflatable toy.what was left then was my true nature as the ever-present i am: consiciousness in its pure state prior to identification with form.later i also learned to go into that inner timeless and deathless realm that i had originally perceived  as a void and remain fully conscious.i dwelt in states of such indescrible bliss and scaredness that even the original experence i just described pales in comparison.A time came when ,for a while, i was left with nothing on the physical plane. i had no relationships,no job,no home,no socially defined identity. i spent almost two years sitting on park benches in a state of the most intense joy

我意识到，有一些深刻且重大的事情必然发生在我身上，但是我根本一点都不能理解它。直到很多年之后，在我阅读了一些精神方面的文章以及和精神导师呆了一段时间后，我意识到，世人所追求的事物发生在了已经我的身上，我明白了，这种强烈的来自黑夜压力已经迫使我的意识原理不快乐和深深的恐惧。归根结底是对心灵的虚构。这种撤退一定是十分成功的，以致于这种错误，痛苦立刻就得到了缓解，就好像拔掉了充气玩具的气门芯一样。剩下的就是我永远存在的本性：在形式定义下之前，意识处于纯净状态。之后，我也学会了进入那种深层次的无限时间的么有死亡的领域，以致我下意识的领会到一种虚无，并且一直保持着完全意识状态。我停留在如此的不可描述的极乐与神圣的状态，相比之下，我刚刚描述的原始的感受显得苍白。有一段时间，我在物理层面上一无所有，我无社会关系，无工作，无家可归，没有社会定义的身份，我几乎有两年时间，坐在公园的长椅上，保持着精神的强烈快感。

but even the most beautiful experiences come and go.more fundamental,perhaps,than any experiences is the undercurrent of peace that has never left me since then.sometimes it is very strong,almost palpable,and other times it is somewhere in the background,like a distant melody.

但即使是最美好的经历也不会停留，比任何经历更根本的是，或许从那以后，我再也未曾离开我的和平的暗流。有时，它非常强烈，几乎触手可及，又有时，它隐于背后，就像远方传来的旋律。

later people would occasionally come up to me and say:"i want what you have. can you give it to me,or show me how to get it?"and i would say:"you have it already."you just can't feet it because your mind is making too much noise."that answer later grew into the book that you are holding in your hands.

before i knew it,i had an external identity again.i had become a spiritual teacher.

之后，人们间或来问我：“我想得到你所拥有的，你能把它赠与我嘛？或者告诉我如何才能得到它”我总是会说：“你已经拥有它了，你只是感受不到，因为你的思维当中有太多的杂念”这个答案之后也被我写在了你现在手中的书中。

在不知不觉中，我又有了外在的身份，我成为了一个精神导师。