此篇文章来自TED：Jia Jiang: What I learned from 100 days of rejection。

我觉得写得还蛮有意思的，分享给大家。因为是第一次翻译，如有不足处，请大家多多指教。

When I was six years old,I received my gifts.My first grade teacher had this brilliant idea.She wanted us to experience receiving gifts but also learning the virtue of complimenting each other.So she had all of us come to the front of the classroom,and she bought all of us gifts and stacked them in the corner.And she said,"Why don't we just stand here and compliment each other?If you hear your name called,go and pick up your gift and sit down."What a wonderful idea, right?What could go wrong?

我六岁的时候收到了礼物。我的一年级老师想出了一个很棒的主意，她希望我们既可以体会到收礼物的快乐又可以学会赞美别人，所以她给我们买了礼物，然后堆放在墙角。然后她对我们说：“我们为什么不站起来呢？如果你的名字被叫到，就可以去挑选礼物然后坐下啦。” 很棒的主意对吗？没有什么不对劲儿的。

0:45(Laughter)

0:47Well, there were 40 of us to start with,and every time I heard someone's name called,I would give out the heartiest cheer.And then there were 20 people left,and 10 people left,and five left ...and three left.And I was one of them.And the compliments stopped.Well, at that moment, I was crying.And the teacher was freaking out.She was like, "Hey, would anyone say anything nice about these people?"

嗯。。。我们有四十个人，只要我听到有人被叫到，我就会给予他最真挚的祝福。一会儿后，还有二十个人站着，然后十个，五个......最后只剩下三个人。我就是其中一个。然后称赞停止了。在那一刻，我哭了。老师也很惊讶，“嘿，没有人愿意说些他们的好话吗？”

1:15(Laughter)

1:16"No one? OK, why don't you go get your gift and sit down.So behave next year --someone might say something nice about you."

“真没有吗？好吧，你们几个还是直接去拿礼物然后回去坐下吧。下一年努力表现，可能就会有人称赞你们了。”

1:22(Laughter)

1:25Well, as I'm describing this you,you probably know I remember this really well.

哈哈，当我描述这件事的时候，你们应该知道我的印象有多深刻了吧。

1:29(Laughter)

1:31But I don't know who felt worse that day.Was it me or the teacher?She must have realized that she turned a team-building event into a public roast for three six-year-olds.And without the humor.You know, when you see people get roasted on TV,it was funny.There was nothing funny about that day.

但我不知道那天谁更难过一点，我还是我的老师呢？她一定意识到了，对于那三个六岁的孩子来说，那不是一个团队建设的活动，那是嘲笑。而且一点也不好玩。你们懂的，我们在电视里看到有人被嘲讽的时候，我们会觉得很好笑。但那天一点也不搞笑。

1:50So that was one version of me,and I would die to avoid being in that situation again --to get rejected in public again.That's one version.Then fast-forward eight years.Bill Gates came to my hometown --Beijing, China --to speak,and I saw his message.I fell in love with that guy.I thought, wow, I know what I want to do now.That night I wrote a letter to my familytelling them: "By age 25,I will build the biggest company in the world,and that company will buy Microsoft."

那是我的一面，并且我再也不想把自己置于那样的境地----大庭广众之下被拒绝。八年过去了，我又经历了另一件事儿。比尔盖茨来到我的家乡中国北京演讲，我受到了他的感染，我喜欢上了那个家伙。我想，哇，我知道我想做什么了。那天晚上，我给我的家人写了一封信，我说：“到了25岁的时候，我会拥有全世界规模最大的公司，那家公司还把微软收购了。”

2:23(Laughter)

2:25I totally embraced this idea of conquering the world --domination, right?And I didn't make this up, I did write that letter.And here it is --

我怀抱着征服世界的梦想，而且我没有说谎，我确实写了那封信。你们看，

2:34(Laughter)

2:36You don't have to read this through --

2:38(Laughter)

2:40This is also bad handwriting, but I did highlight some key words.You get the idea.

我的字不太好看，我划出了一些关键的地方，你们一看就懂的。

2:45(Laughter)，

2:47So ...that was another version of me:one who will conquer the world.

所以，这是另一个我：一个想征服世界的我。

2:54Well, then two years later,I was presented with the opportunity to come to the United States.I jumped on it,because that was where Bill Gates lived, right?

然后，又是两年过去了，我有了一个机会去美国。我抓住了那个机会，毕竟那是比尔盖茨生活的地方嘛，对吧？

3:04(Laughter)

3:05I thought that was the start of my entrepreneur journey.Then, fast-forward another 14 years.I was 30.Nope, I didn't build that company.I didn't even start.I was actually a marketing manager for a Fortune 500 company.And I felt I was stuck;I was stagnant.Why is that?Where is that 14-year-old who wrote that letter?It's not because he didn't try.It's because every time I had a new idea,every time I wanted to try something new,even at work --I wanted to make a proposal,I wanted to speak up in front of people in a group --I felt there was this constant battlebetween the 14-year-old and the six-year-old.One wanted to conquer the world --make a difference --another was afraid of rejection.And every time that six-year-old won.

我认为那将是我企业之旅开始的地方！时光飞逝啊，14年转眼而过。我三十岁了。我没有建立起那样的公司，我甚至没有开始。我成为了一家世界500强公司的市场经理。我感觉我被困住了，当年那个写信的14岁男孩不知道去了哪里。不是因为我没有尝试过，而是因为每次我有了新点子的时候，我想尝试新鲜事物的时候，甚至在工作上-------我想提议的时候，我想在小组发言的时候，我都能感觉到14岁的我和6岁的我在不断斗争。一个想要征服世界改变自我，另一个害怕拒绝不敢尝试，而每次都是后者赢了。

3:56And this fear even persisted after I started my own company.I mean, I started my own company when I was 30 --if you want to be Bill Gates,you've got to start sooner or later, right?When I was an entrepreneur,I was presented with an investment opportunity,and then I was turned down.And that rejection hurt me.It hurt me so bad that I wanted to quit right there.But then I thought,hey, would Bill Gates quit after a simple investment rejection?Would any successful entrepreneur quit like that?No way.And this is where it clicked for me.OK, I can build a better company.I can build a better team or better product,but one thing for sure:I've got to be a better leader.I've got to be a better person.I cannot let that six-year-old keep dictating my life anymore.I have to put him back in his place.

在我30岁开始创业开公司时，这种恐惧依然存在。我30岁开始创业，毕竟如果你想成为比尔盖茨，你迟早得开始创业，对吧？当我成为一名企业家的时候，我得到了一个拉投资的机会，但后来我被拒绝了。这件事给我打击很大，以至于我想马上放弃。但后来我又想比尔盖茨遇到这种情况会放弃吗？成功企业家会像这样轻言放弃吗？绝对不会！这种想法点醒了我，要想建立一个更好的公司，拥有更优秀的团队和产品，我必须要成为一个更优秀的领导者，一个更好的人。我不能再让那个六岁的我主宰生活，他必须回到他应该在的地方。

4:50So this is where I went online and looked for help.Google was my friend.

所以我上网寻求帮助了，google是我的朋友。

4:53(Laughter)

4:54I searched, "How do I overcome the fear of rejection?"I came up with a bunch of psychology articlesabout where the fear and pain are coming from.Then I came up with a bunch of "rah-rah" inspirational articlesabout "Don't take it personally, just overcome it."Who doesn't know that?

我输入问题，“我怎么样才能克服被拒绝的恐惧呢？”我看了很多关于恐惧和痛苦来自哪里的心理学文章，然后又看了那种“不要太当回事儿，去克服就行了”的鸡血文。谁不知道这个道理啊？

5:11(Laughter)

5:13But why was I still so scared?Then I found this website by luck.It's called rejectiontherapy.com.

但我还是很害怕拒绝。这时候我幸运地找到一个叫rejection therapy.com的网站。

5:20(Laughter)

5:22"Rejection Therapy" was this game invented by this Canadian entrepreneur.His name is Jason Comely.And basically the idea is for 30 days you go out and look for rejection,and every day get rejected at something,and then by the end, you desensitize yourself from the pain.And I loved that idea.

"Rejection Therapy"是一个叫Jason Comely.的加拿大企业家发明的游戏。基本上设想是这样的：连续30天出去寻找拒绝，每天你都被拒绝的话，最后，你对这种痛苦就免疫了。             我喜欢这个主意。

5:41(Laughter)

5:43I said, "You know what? I'm going to do this.And I'll feel myself getting rejected 100 days."And I came up with my own rejection ideas,and I made a video blog out of it.

我要去做这件事情，我还要把时间定为100天。然后我想出了一些可能会被拒绝的提议，为此我还建了一个video blog。

5:54And so here's what I did.This is what the blog looked like.Day One ...

这就是我做的，blog大概是这个样子的，第一天：

6:01(Laughter)

6:02Borrow 100 dollars from a stranger.So this is where I went to where I was working.I came downstairs and I saw this big guy sitting behind a desk.He looked like a security guard.So I just approached him.And I was just walking and that was the longest walk of my life --hair on the back of my neck standing up,I was sweating and my heart was pounding.And I got there and said,"Hey, sir, can I borrow 100 dollars from you?"

向陌生人借100美元。我去了我工作的地方，下楼的时候我看到一个大家伙坐在桌子的后面，看起来像是保安。所以我就向他走过去，我觉得那真是此生最漫长的路----我汗毛直竖，全身发汗，心跳如鼓。然后我站在他面前说：“嘿，先生，我可以向你借100美金吗？”

6:29(Laughter)

6:30And he looked up, he's like, "No.""Why?"

他抬起头“不可以，为什么？“

6:35And I just said, "No? I'm sorry."Then I turned around, and I just ran.

但我只是说：“不可以啊，那打扰了。”然后我落荒而逃。

6:39(Laughter)

6:41I felt so embarrassed.But because I filmed myself --so that night I was watching myself getting rejected,I just saw how scared I was.I looked like this kid in "The Sixth Sense."I saw dead people.

我感觉超级尴尬。但正是因为我看了自己被拒绝的过程，我才发现我有多恐惧，不自觉地我就会成为六岁的我。我看着呆板的人们，

6:54(Laughter)

6:56But then I saw this guy.You know, he wasn't that menacing.He was a chubby, loveable guy,and he even asked me, "Why?"In fact, he invited me to explain myself.And I could've said many things.I could've explained, I could've negotiated.I didn't do any of that.All I did was run.I felt, wow, this is like a microcosm of my life.Every time I felt the slightest rejection,I would just run as fast as I could.And you know what?The next day, no matter what happens,I'm not going to run.I'll stay engaged.

然后我发现了这个家伙。你们看，他并不刻薄，他是一个可爱的人，他甚至会问我为什么。事实上，他在邀请我解释原因。我可以说很多出来，我可以解释，我可以协商，但我什么也没做。我只是落荒而逃。我感觉，哇，这就是我人生的缩影，每当我受到一点拒绝的时候，我就只会逃跑。我下定决心，第二天不管发生什么，我绝不逃跑。

7:31Day Two: Request a "burger refill."

第二天：要求把汉堡重新装满。

7:33(Laughter)

7:35It's when I went to a burger joint,I finished lunch, and I went to the cashier and said,"Hi, can I get a burger refill?"

我去了一家汉堡连锁店，我吃完午餐后，我对收银员说：“嗨，可以给我一个burger refill吗？”

7:41(Laughter)

7:43He was all confused, like, "What's a burger refill?"

他很疑惑“什么是burger refill？”

7:46(Laughter)

7:47I said, "Well, it's just like a drink refill but with a burger."And he said, "Sorry, we don't do burger refill, man."

我说：“就像是饮品续杯那样，只不过饮品换成了汉堡。”然后他回答说：“抱歉兄弟，我们并不提供这样的服务。”

7:53(Laughter)

7:55So this is where rejection happened and I could have run, but I stayed.I said, "Well, I love your burgers,I love your joint,and if you guys do a burger refill,I will love you guys more."

所以这又是一次我可以逃跑的机会，但我留下了。我说：“我喜欢你们的汉堡，我喜欢你们的店，当然如果你们能提供burger refill，我会更喜欢你们的。”

8:06(Laughter)

8:07And he said, "Well, OK, I'll tell my manager about it,and maybe we'll do it, but sorry, we can't do this today."Then I left.And by the way,I don't think they've ever done burger refill.

他回答：“好吧，我会告诉经理的，以后我们可能会有这样的服务，但今天肯定不行。”然后我就离开了。顺便说一句，我觉得他们现在也没有提供burger refill。

8:18(Laughter)

8:20I think they're still there.But the life and death feeling I was feeling the first time was no longer there,just because I stayed engaged --because I didn't run.I said, "Wow, great, I'm already learning things.Great."

我想恐惧依然是存在的，只是第一次那种窒息的感觉已经不存在了，因为我没有逃跑，我坚持下来了。我对自己说：“哇，太棒了，我学到了东西。”

8:34And then Day Three: Getting Olympic Doughnuts.This is where my life was turned upside down.I went to a Krispy Kreme.It's a doughnut shopin mainly the Southeastern part of the United States.I'm sure they have some here, too.And I went in,I said, "Can you make me doughnuts that look like Olympic symbols?Basically, you interlink five doughnuts together ... "I mean there's no way they could say yes, right?The doughnut maker took me so seriously.

第三天：得到奥林匹克甜甜圈。这是我人生改变的一个点。我去了一家主要分布在美国东南部地区名为Krispy Kreme的甜甜圈商店。我进去问道：“请问这里有那种像是奥林匹克标志的甜甜圈吗？就是你把五个甜甜圈连在一起。。。。。。”我想他们没可能回答有，对吧？但老板很重视我的问题。

9:01(Laughter)

9:02So she put out paper,started jotting down the colors and the rings,and is like, "How can I make this?"And then 15 minutes later,she came out with a box that looked like Olympic rings.And I was so touched.I just couldn't believe it.And that video got over five million views on Youtube.The world couldn't believe that either.

所以她拿出了纸开始画图上色，想着怎么样做出成品。15分钟后，她拿出了一个盒子就像奥林匹克五环一样。我非常感动。那个视频在Youtube.上有五百万的播放量，我想大家也同样感觉不可思议。

9:23(Laughter)

9:26You know, because of that I was in newspapers,in talk shows, in everything.And I became famous.A lot of people started writing emails to meand saying, "What you're doing is awesome."But you know, fame and notoriety did not do anything to me.What I really wanted to do was learn,and to change myself.So I turned the rest of my 100 days of rejection into this playground --into this research project.I wanted to see what I could learn.

因为那件事，我出名了，我上了报纸，上了脱口秀，上了很多地方。很多人发邮件对我说我做的事情很棒。但名声对我没有意义，我真正想要的是学习，然后改变我自己。所以我把剩下的100天拒绝计划变成了一个调查报告，我想看看我能学到什么。

9:53And then I learned a lot of things.I discovered so many secrets.For example, I found if I just don't run,if I got rejected,I could actually turn a "no" into a "yes,"and the magic word is, "why."

我确实学到了很多东西，我发现了很多秘诀。比如说，我发现如果我不只顾着逃跑的话，当我被拒绝的时候，我可以将“no”变为“yes”，完成这个转变的关键词是“why”。

10:04So one day I went to a stranger's house, I had this flower in my hand,knocked on the door and said,"Hey, can I plant this flower in your backyard?"

有一天我拿着一束花敲开了一个陌生人的门，问道：“嘿，我可以把这束花种在你的院子里吗？”

10:12(Laughter)

10:13And he said, "No."But before he could leave I said,"Hey, can I know why?"And he said, "Well, I have this dog that would dig up anything I put in the backyard.I don't want to waste your flower.If you want to do this, go across the street and talk to Connie.She loves flowers."So that's what I did.I went across and knocked on Connie's door.And she was so happy to see me.

他说：“不可以”，但在他离开前我问了为什么，然后他回答说：“嗯，因为我养了一只狗，它会挖出我种在院子里任何东西，我不想糟蹋你的花。不过如果你想种的话，你可以穿过街道去问问Connie”，她很爱花。”所以我穿过了街道，敲开了Connie的门，而她很欢迎我。

10:37(Laughter)

10:38And then half an hour later,there was this flower in Connie's backyard.I'm sure it looks better now.

半小时后，我的花种在了Connie的院子里，我很确定它现在一定长得更好了。

10:43(Laughter)

10:45But had I left after the initial rejection,I would've thought,well, it's because the guy didn't trust me,it's because I was crazy,because I didn't dress up well, I didn't look good.It was none of those.It was because what I offered did not fit what he wanted.And he trusted me enough to offer me a referral,using a sales term.I converted a referral.

但如果我在最初的拒绝后我就离开的话，我一定会想，那个人拒绝我是因为我看起来不好，他不信任我。但实际上只是因为他的情况不方便，他还给我提供了一个建议呢。

11:05Then one day --and I also learned that I can actually say certain thingsand maximize my chance to get a yes.So for example, one day I went to a Starbucks,and asked the manager, "Hey, can I be a Starbucks greeter?"He was like, "What's a Starbucks greeter?"I said, "Do you know those Walmart greeters?You know, those people who say 'hi' to you before you walk in the store,and make sure you don't steal stuff, basically?I want to give a Walmart experience to Starbucks customers."

然后有一天我认识我可以具体化我的建议，尽可能得到一个“yes”。举个例子，有一天我去了星巴克，问经理我可不可以当一名星巴克接待员，经理问什么是星巴克接待员，我说：“你知道沃尔玛接待员吗？就是那些在客人走进去之前说hi，并确保没人偷东西的人。我想让星巴克的顾客也有那种体验。”

11:30(Laughter)

11:32Well, I'm not sure that's a good thing, actually --Actually, I'm pretty sure it's a bad thing.And he was like, "Oh" --yeah, this is how he looked, his name is Eric --and he was like, "I'm not sure."This is how he was hearing me. "Not sure."Then I ask him, "Is that weird?"He's like, "Yeah, it's really weird, man."But as soon as he said that, his whole demeanor changed.It's as if he's putting all the doubt on the floor.And he said, "Yeah, you can do this,just don't get too weird."

事实上，我并不认为这是个好主意。但经理Eric先是恍然大悟的样子，然后说他不确定。我问他：“这件事很奇怪吗？”他说确实很奇怪。但突然他又改变了想法，抛开了疑虑，对我说：“好吧，你可以做星巴克接待员，只要不表现得太奇怪就行了。”

12:00(Laughter)

12:02So for the next hour I was the Starbucks greeter.I said "hi" to every customer that walked in,and gave them holiday cheers.By the way, I don't know what your career trajectory is,don't be a greeter.

所以第二天我去做了星巴克接待员，我对每一个进门的顾客说“hi”,给他们假日祝福。顺便说一句，我不知道你们的工作是什么，但别去做接待员。

12:13(Laughter)

12:14It was really boring.But then I found I could do this because I mentioned, "Is that weird?"I mentioned the doubt that he was having.And because I mentioned, "Is that weird?", that means I wasn't weird.That means I was actually thinking just like him,seeing this as a weird thing.And again, and again,I learned that if I mention some doubt people might have before I ask the question,I gained their trust.People were more likely to say yes to me.

那真的很无聊。但我发现我能完成这件事是因为我提出了他的疑问，那意味着我并不奇怪，我和他同样认为这件事很奇怪。很多次后，我有了经验，当你先提出人们可能会有的疑惑后，人们会更信任你，会更愿意答应你的请求。

12:41And then I learned I could fulfill my life dream ...by asking.You know, I came from four generations of teachers,and my grandma has always told me,"Hey Jia, you can do anything you want,but it'd be great if you became a teacher."

然后我想我可以通过询问完成我的梦想。我来自一个四代人都是老师的家庭，我的奶奶总告诉我说我可以做任何我想做的事，但如果我能成为一名教师就更好了。

12:56(Laughter)

12:58But I wanted to be an entrepreneur, so I didn't.But it has always been my dream to actually teach something.So I said, "What if I just ask and teach a college class?"I lived in Austin at the time,so I went to University of Texas at Austin and knocked on professors' doors and said, "Can I teach your class?"I didn't get anywhere the first couple of times.But because I didn't run -- I kept doing it --and on the third try the professor was very impressed.He was like, "No one has done this before."And I came in prepared with powerpoints and my lesson.He said, "Wow, I can use this.Why don't you come back in two months? I'll fit you in my curriculum."And two months later I was teaching a class.

但我想当一个企业家，所以我没有成为一名老师。但教学一直也是我的愿望。我想如果我去要求在大学课堂教一节课会怎么样呢？我那时住在奥斯丁，所以我去了位于奥斯丁的德克萨斯大学，问教授我能不能教他的班。开始几次我没有得到许可，第三次尝试的时候，教授对我印象深刻，没人这样干过。我带着准备好的课件和PPT进去，教授说：“哇，我可以用这个。你可以两个月后再来，我会把你安排进总课程中。”两个月后，我开始在一个班上课。

13:37This is me -- you probably can't see, this is a bad picture.You know, sometimes you get rejected by lighting, you know?

这是我--你们可能看不清楚，照的不好。看吧，有时候你可能还会被灯光拒绝，是吧？

13:43(Laughter)

13:45But wow --when I finished teaching that class, I walked out crying,because I thoughtI could fulfill my life dream just by simply asking.I used to think I have to accomplish all these things --have to be a great entrepreneur, or get a PhD to teach --but no, I just asked,and I could teach.

但当我完成教学的时候，我走出去大哭，因为我只是通过询问就完成了我的愿望。我过去总认为我必须完成很多事情，做一个很牛的企业家，或者成为博士才能够教书，但我没有，我只是勇敢地询问争取。

14:04And in that picture, which you can't see,I quoted Martin Luther King, Jr.Why? Because in my research I found that people who really change the world,who change the way we live and the way we think,are the people who were met with initial and often violent rejections.People like Martin Luther King, Jr.,like Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela,or even Jesus Christ.These people did not let rejection define them.They let their own reaction after rejection define themselves.And they embraced rejection.

在那张照片里，我举了马丁路德金的例子。为什么？因为在我的研究里面，我发现改变世界，改变我们生活方式和思考方法的，是那些经常面对拒绝的人，就像马丁路德金，就像圣雄甘地，纳尔逊曼德拉，甚至耶稣基督。这些人并没有用拒绝去定义他们，他们用自己对此的反应去定义自己。他们接受拒绝。

14:38And we don't have to be those people to learn about rejection,and in my case,rejection was my curse,was my boogeyman.It has bothered me my whole life because I was running away from it.Then I started embracing it.I turned that into the biggest gift in my life.I started teaching people how to turn rejections into opportunities.I use my blog, I use my talk,I use the book I just published,and I'm even building technology to help people overcome their fear of rejection.

我们不必成为伟人才能从拒绝中学习，就我来说，拒绝曾是我的祸根，是我的食虫人。它一直在干扰我的生活因为我不断地想摆脱它，但我开始接受它的时候，它就变成了我生命中最好的礼物。我开始教人们把拒绝变成机会，我写博客，演讲，出书，甚至用技术去帮助人们克服对于拒绝的恐惧。

15:11When you get rejected in life,when you are facing the next obstacleor next failure,consider the possibilities.Don't run.If you just embrace them,they might become your gifts as well.

当你们遇到拒绝的时候，当你们面临一个又一个的挫折时，想一想成功的可能性。不要逃跑，勇敢接受拒绝，它们也可能成为你的礼物。

15:24Thank you.

希望大家看了这篇文章后，能够不再那么害怕拒绝，在得到答案后，再勇敢问一下为什么，不断改进，不断前进。

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