Self love is such a difficult process to navigate , not only because it takes time , and patience , and tenderness , but because there's also this shame that seems to grow within us when we can not find it . we are constantly sold this idea of self love - it is relayed to us on social media , in advertising , within the music we hear and the shows we watch . The world is constantly saying " just love yourself " and so when we can't , or when it's difficult , we feel sad , or guilty for not being able to achieve that or see ourselves the way other see us . it can be deeply confusing . but the truth is - we have all been hurt and we have all dealt with things that have convinced us we are hard to love, and we deal with so much compassion on a daily basis . it is understandable that we have in a way grown distant from our own souls. from our own hearts . it is a very human thing to struggle with , so , below we have written  out some tips that are meant to affirm you on your self love journey , and encourage you to give yourself the love you so effortlessly give others . because you deserve it - you always have. 

Loving yourself , means coming back home to yourself . 

In a world that sometimes convinces us we have to change, or edit ourselves ,in order to be loved , it is so important  to reintroduce ourselves to our own souls again. If you are struggling with fostering self love , try asking  yourself what you like , and dislike . ask yourself how you want to feel when you go out into the world . Ask yourself what your non negotiables are , what your standards are , what you never want to settle for again . Really think : who are you when you are alone with your mind ? when you are not trying to be everything for everyone ? what genuinely makes you happy ? what ignites you ? 

and while it can feel overwhelming to sit with yourself in that way , while it can feel so foreign , it's a great first step towards showing up for yourself . when you love others in your life , you want to be able to love them on the deepest level in order to be able to love them the way that they need to be loved . so when it comes to a relationship with yourself , you need to know yourself on that level too , in order to love yourself the way you need to be loved . 

Foregive yourself for who you had to be in your past . 

It is unbelievably easy to look back on the things you had to do in order to survive , or heal  , or the mistakes you made, or the person you were in your past , and allow for all of that to make you feel like you are not good enough , or deserving of what you want . our pasts can bring up feelings  of shame , and that shame can often make you love yourself less , because you are seeing yourself through the lens of who you used to be. 

if that is one of the reasons why you find it difficult to be kind to yourself , why you find it difficult to care for yourself , I want to remind you that life is really hard. and there is no perfect way to execute our existence . it is never as black and white as we think t is. there is no guideline on how to be a human being who is dealing with the grittiness of what it means to simply live , and love , and make mistakes . we have all been versions of ourselves that we wouldn't necessarily clap for now. we have all been the person who hurts , or who makes the wrong choice , or who can't show up . this doesn't make you a bad person . this makes you human . 

so a step towards loving yourself is forgiveness. forgive yourself for what you had to do in order to kill your sadness. forgive yourself for how you settled,  or allowed yourself to be treated . forgive yourself for the way s in which you did not fight for who you were tried to catch your footing . when you call it all by it is name , when you truly face all that it was - not with the desire to change it . not with regret , but with tenderness for what had come and gone , for what can not be reversed , forgiveness affords you this ability to reframe you past , it affords you the opportunity to stop seeing your present self through that less , and you learn form it , rather than letting it hurt you or dean you or little you , you take the lesson and you allow for them to inspire you into standing up for who you are and who you want to be . acceptance is love . 

Loving yourself means respecting yourself . 

in order to love ourselves , the distance between who were are internally , and who we show the words , has to be nonexistent , there should be no gap between those two realities . 

try your best to be hones with yourself about who you are , and do not ever edit yourself . because when you stop yourself from speaking your truth , when you silence yourself in order to appease everyone around you , you bankrupt yourself , you become a shell of yourself , and that can make you feel really trapped and misunderstood , because you are not being true to yourself , you are not creating the art you want to creat , you are not loving how you want to love , you are not showing up the way you want to show up. because you are scared of being fully and openly who you are . there is a disconnect between your desires , and your actions . 

remind yourself that who you are on the inside is worthy . and who you are not the inside is a beautiful human being that the world would be lucky to know. you do not have to edit yourself in order to be accepted or loved or cared for . you do not have to change yourself . you just to do the things that make you happy , on a soul level , and you have to do them almost foolishly - do not ask for permission to be who you are . stand in your power . that kind of freedom is life changing , because