我们对爱的认识，仅限于感受，是吧？我们言必称爱，其实只懂得嫉妒、恐惧与焦灼。当你说爱某人时，全部涵义只是嫉妒、拥有、占有、控制、患失等等，我们将这些通通称为爱。而那种没有恐惧、没有嫉妒、没有占有的爱，我们根本不懂，只好表述为无私的爱、纯洁的爱、神圣大爱，或上帝才懂的名头，但真实的我们却充满嫉妒心，充满控制欲、占有欲。只有当羡慕、嫉妒、占有、控制欲消泯时，我们才能懂得爱；只要心里有占有欲，就根本没有爱。试问，什么时候你才会想念你爱的人？当她离你远去，不在身边时。所以，只有你焦虑不安、痛苦烦恼时，你才想念你爱的人；但只要你拥有了她，就不必再想她，因为一旦拥有，就不复魂牵梦绕了。
内心烦恼，则寤寐思之；思之念之，则纠结痛苦。可以肯定，爱无关乎思维，因为思维乱麻充塞了心灵，所以我们心里没有爱。思维所热衷的是羡慕、嫉妒、企图、显赫、成功，这些东西塞满了你的心灵，而你却声称心中有爱。如果你内心纷乱如麻，怎么会有爱呢？如果黑烟滚滚，何来纯净的火焰？
——克里希那穆提《生命书：365观心日课》（The Book of Life: Daily Meditations with Krishnamurti）
As Long As We Possess, We Shall Never Love
We know love as sensation, do we not? When we say we love, we know jealousy, we know fear, we know anxiety. When you say you love someone, all that is implied: envy, the desire to possess, the desire to own, to dominate, the fear of loss, and so on. All this we call love, and we do not know love without fear, without envy, without possession; we merely verbalize that state of love which is without fear, we call it impersonal, pure, divine, or God knows what else; but the fact is that we are jealous, we are dominating, possessive. We shall know that state of love only when jealousy, envy, possessiveness, domination, come to an end; and as long as we possess, we shall never love…. When do you think about the person whom you love? You think about her when she is gone, when she is away, when she has left you…. So, you miss the person whom you say you love only when you are disturbed, when you are in suffering; and as long as you possess that person, you do not have to think about that person, because in possession there is no disturbance….
Thinking comes when you are disturbed—and you are bound to be disturbed as long as your thinking is what you call love. Surely, love is not a thing of the mind; and because the things of the mind have filled our hearts, we have no love. The things of the mind are jealousy, envy, ambition, the desire to be somebody, to achieve success. These things of the mind fill your hearts, and then you say you love; but how can you love when you have all these confusing elements in you? When there is smoke, how can there be a pure flame?
APRIL 12
