为了完整性先放原诗:
May i feel said he
by e.e. cummings
may i feel said he
(i'll squeal said she
just once said he)
it's fun said she
(may i touch said he
how much said she
a lot said he)
why not said she
(let's go said he
not too far said she
what's too far said he
where you are said she)
may i stay said he
(which way said she
like this said he
if you kiss said she
may i move said he
is it love said she)
if you're willing said he
(but you're killing said she
but it's life said he
but your wife said she
now said he)
ow said she
(tiptop said he
don't stop said she
oh no said he)
go slow said she
(cccome?said he
ummm said she)
you're divine!said he
(you are Mine said she)
其实挺简单的,翻译倒是有点画蛇添足,但搜遍网络也找不到我喜欢的翻译。
目前看到的三个版本都跟我的理解有重大偏差,所以来添一下足。
《我可以碰你吗?他说》
——E.E. 卡明斯
我可以碰碰吗?他说
我会喊的。她说
就一下。他说
挺好玩的。她说
我能摸你吗?他说
摸多少?她说
很多。他说
来呗。她说
我们继续。他说
别太过了。她说
什么是过?他说
你在做的。她说
我能呆这儿吗?他说
怎么呆着?她说
就像这样。他说
那你亲我。她说
我能动动吗?他说
这是爱吗?她说
如果你想。他说
可是好痛。她说
但这就是生活。他说
但你有老婆。她说
来了。他说
啊!她说
太爽了。他说
别停啊。她说
哦我不行了。他说
那就慢点。她说
到了吗?他说
嗯呣呣呣。她说
你是女神。他说
你是我的人。她说
附赠我在网上找到的两个台湾版的翻译。
版本一:
我們來吧
我可以摸嗎?
那我要大叫囉。
一下就好啦。
才怪。
讓我摸一下啦…
這麼想啊?
想死了!
隨便你了。
我們來吧。
不要太那個喔。
哪個?
你說咧。
我可以留在這嗎?
你想怎樣?
就這樣。
沒打算要那樣嗎?
妳確定嗎?
那個嗎?
如果妳想的話…
我心臟快停了啦…
我會讓妳快活。
那你老婆…
來囉。
喔…
怎麼樣!
不要停!
我快不行了!
再多一點嘛…
妳有…嗎?
嗯。
妳好棒喔。
你才好棒。
版本二(这个版本是真偏差太多且自我发挥太多):
may i feel said he 让我感觉是悄言的他
(i'll squeal said she (我告人啦是羞涩的她
just once said he) 就一次嘛是请求的他)
it's fun said she 咦顶好玩是兴趣的她
(may i tough said he (让我摸摸是大胆的他
how much said she 别太多啦是兴奋的她
a lot said he) 会很多的是激动的他)
why not said she 那也行吧是无奈的她
(let's go said he (起来走吧是毛躁的他
not too far said she 别太远了是微妙的她
what's too far said he 何谓太远是顿悟的他
where you are said she) 你所住处是妩媚的她)
may i stay said he 能否留下是试探的他
(which way said she (什么方式是应允的她
like this said he 就象这样是满足的他
if you kiss said she 要你吻我是挑逗的她
may i move said he 让我拥有是焦急的他
is it love said she) 这算爱吧是询问的她)
if you're willing said he 要你愿意是温柔的他
but you're killing said she 可你粗鲁是微哂的她
but it's life said he 这是生活是哲理的他
but your wife said she 可你老婆是担心的她
now said he 来吧他说
ow said she 唉哟她叹
tiptop said he 悄悄地来是心虚的他
don't stop said she 别停下来是动情的她
oh no said he 呀不行了是冲动的他
go slow said she 慢慢地来是疼爱的她
(cccome?said he 高潮啦? 是温情的他
ummm said she 呃呣呣呣是迷糊的她
you're divine! said he 你象仙女是衷心的他
(you are Mine said she) 你是我的是爱恋的她