重新发现你的目标Rediscover Your Goals

This section is about connecting with your deepest, most important goals. Your goals don't need to be of the “become so rich I get to hang out with celebrities” variety. Nor do they need an approval stamp from anyone who's not directly involved. What they do need to be is personally meaningful for you.

本章是有关联结你最深、最重要的目标。你的这些目标不需要是诸如“变得非常富有，可以和名流外出”此类。当然也不需要某些没有直接牵涉其中的人的批准的目标。这些目标仅仅需要对你个人有意义即可。

找到那些如果实现就可使你容忍焦虑的目标Find the Goals Where Pursuing Them Is Worth Tolerating Anxiety

If you've got severe anxiety, it may have created a goals vacuum in your life. It may seem like your anxiety problems have been so all-consuming that you haven't focused much on anything else. This is understandable. Since overcoming anxiety involves moving toward something, not just moving away from anxiety, it'll involve rediscovering what your goals are. You need to uncover the goals that genuinely light your fire, where pursuing them is worth tolerating the anxiety that they create. Finding those goals is a very personal process.

如果你的焦虑很严重，这可能在你的生命中创造一个“目标真空”。你的那些焦虑问题可能看起来像是消耗了一切，使得你过去无法聚焦在其他事物上。既然克服焦虑不仅仅是远离焦虑，也还包含向某些事物前进，那么它也包括了重新发现你的目标是什么。你需要重现发现那些激发你真正激情的、值得你容忍因为追求这些目标带来的焦虑的目标。找到这些目标是很个性化的流程。

Experiment: Can you think of anything that you want more than you fear? Your example could be anything from buying an investment property to taking up jogging (people who are anxious sometimes avoid vigorous exercise because the sensations mimic their physical anxiety symptoms). If you can't think of anything right now, the rest of the chapter might spark your thinking, or you might need to let the question marinate for a few days.

实验：你是否可以想到一些事物，你对它们的追求的欲望大过恐惧呢？你的例子可以是任何事情，从购买一个投资性资产到慢跑（有些人有时候非常焦虑以致于避免健身，因为他们身体上的焦虑症状感觉很相似）。如果你想不出任何的东西，本章剩下的内容可能激发你的思考，或者你需要让这个问题沉浸几天。

Goals Don't Need to Be Giant to Be Important to You（Omit 略）

当你出于焦虑的原因限制你的目标的时候，意识到这一点Acknowledge When You're Restricting Your Goals Due to Anxiety

As I've said, small goals are just as valid as big goals. However, there are some instances when anxiety causes people to restrict their goals. It's important to acknowledge when this is happening. People with shaky self-worth may hold back from setting ambitious goals because they worry that others will see them as too confident or full of themselves. However, setting less ambitious goals sometimes backfires. For example, people who hold back from thinking big may end up working in ineffective or inefficient ways because they're not as focused on developing scalable systems as they would be if they were thinking bigger.

正如我说过的，小目标和大目标一样有效。然而，有些时候焦虑导致人们限制了他们的目标。当这种情况发生的时候，意识到这一点非常重要。有着不定的自我价值感的人可能在设置野心勃勃目标的时候会有所退缩，因为他们担心其他人认为他太过自信或自我意识过高。然而，设定不那么远大的目标有时候带来适得其反的结果。例如，设定不太大的目标的人可能最终结果是无效率或者无效能地进行工作，因为他们不能像如果设立远大目标那样发展大规模的系统那样聚焦。

Sometimes we set lower goals because we “fear success.” When people talk about fear of success, they're talking about anticipatory anxiety related to what they predict success would bring. You can confront and problem-solve this fear, but first you need to identify what you're actually anxious about.

有时候我们设立低的目标是因为我们“害怕成功”。当人们讨论对成功的恐惧的时候，他们说的是他们预见到如果成功会带来的焦虑。你可以挑战或解决这种恐惧，但是你第一步要做的是识别出你真正在焦虑什么。

Experiment: Are there goals that interest you, but anxiety is causing you to choose smaller targets than you might otherwise? Can you identify specifically what it is you're worried about? For example, you might fear that success will mean drowning in your inbox and other increased social demands. Your worry might be that you won't get the alone time you need to feel balanced. How could you problem-solve this fear? For example, what might you do to cope if greater success meant receiving a lot more email?

实验：你有任何感兴趣但是焦虑导致你选择更小目标的目标吗？你是否能识别出你真正在担心什么？例如，你可能担心成功意味着被邮件淹没、其他的社交需求增加。你的担心可能是你无法独处以感觉生活工作平衡。你如何能解决这种恐惧？例如，你要做什么以应对成功意味着收到一大堆更多的邮件的问题？

What larger targets would you set if you didn't fear success?

如果你不害怕成功的话，你能设置多高的目标？

曝光于机会之下Expose Yourself to Opportunity

Achieving personal dreams doesn't always arise out of relentless pursuit of goals. Sometimes you achieve dreams simply by exposing yourself to life. If you're restricting how much you're living your life due to feelings of anxiety, you'll miss out on unexpected opportunities to achieve your goals. Here's an example: A friend of mine had the goal of meeting author Malcolm Gladwell. He was near the top of the list of people she most wanted to meet in her lifetime. She was visiting New York City from New Zealand and found herself sitting across from him in a coffee shop. This was an incredibly lucky coincidence, but it wouldn't have occurred if she'd been sitting at home in New Zealand, rather than sitting in the West Village.

实现个人的梦想并不总是带来无止境地追求目标。有时候你仅仅需要将你曝光于生命之下就可以实现你的梦想。如果你由于恐惧感而限制你如何生活的话，你会错过很多实现你的目标的机会。下面是一个例子：我的一个朋友有一个梦想是与作家Malcolm Gladwell见面。这个作家是她想见的人清单中排名靠前的。她有次从新西兰去纽约，发现作家就坐在她所在的咖啡店里的对面。这是相当巧合了，但是如果她只是坐在家里而不是坐在West Village的话，一切都不会发生。

Experiment: Have you ever had the experience of achieving a goal or dream by putting yourself in the right place at the right time? Have you noticed that you expose yourself to less of these opportunities when you're focused on your anxiety?

实验： 你是否有这样的经历，你仅仅是在正确的时间把自己放在了正确的地点就实现了一个梦想或目标呢？你是否注意到你由于聚焦在你的焦虑上导致你曝光于这样的机会的次数就变少了呢？

Boyes Ph.D, Alice. The Anxiety Toolkit (p. 42). Penguin Publishing Group. Kindle 版本.