纸牌屋(第1季第1集)对白(House of Cards S01E01)

House of cards Season I Episode 01

Underwood talks with the wounded dog.

It’s ok; there are two kinds of pain, the sort of pain that makes you strong or useless pain. The sort of pain that only suffering. I have no patience for useless things. Moments like this require someone who will act or do the unpleasant thing, or the necessary thing. There, no more pain.

It was a hit and run, I’m awfully sorry.

Underwood speaks at the New Year ceremony.

Oh, President elected Garrett Walker. Do I like him? No. Do I believe him? That’s beside the point. Any politician that gets 70 million votes has tapped into something larger than himself, larger than even me as much as I hate to admit it. Look at that winning smile, those trusting eyes. I clung to him early on, and made myself vital. After 22 years in congress, I can smell which way the wind is going.

Jim Matthews, his right honorably Vice-President, Former Governor of Pennsylvania, He did his duty in delivering the Keystone State. Bless his heart, and now they’re about to put him out to pasture, but he looks happy, now doesn’t he? For some, it's simply the size of chair.

Linda Vasquez, Walker’s chief of staff, I got her hired. She is a woman, check, and a Latina, check, but more important than that, she’s as tough as two-dollar steak. Check, check, check. When it comes to the white house, you not only need the keys in your back pocket, you need the gatekeeper.

As for me, I’m just a lowly house majority whip, I keep things moving in a congress, chocked by pettiness, and lassitude, my job is to clear the pipes, and keep the sludge moving. But I won’t have to be a plumber much longer; I’ve done my time, I back the right man. Give and take. Welcome to Washington.

(Claire and Underwood talks in the vehicle)

C: You need a haircut

U: You think?

C: A little trim, what are you going to wear?

U: You mean for the meeting?

C: For the announcement.

U: I’m wearing my navy blue, the one with the pinstripes

C: Good, you look handsome in that suit.

U: I don’t know if they will announce it before your board meeting.

C: Well, as long as I can say the donation is coming.

U: As soon as it’s official, San-Corp will write you the check.

C: (holds up Underwood’s right hand) This is going to be a big year for us.

(Underwood kisses Claire’s left hand)

(Zoe and Lucas talks in the tea room)

Z: Did it take him a year to remember your name?

L: Longer.

Z: Good morning, Lucas.

L: What can I do for you, Zoe?

Z: I’m sick of the Fairfax county council.

L: You tell me every day.

Z: Move me online, my own blog, first person, subjective, 500 words.

L: Not gonna happen.

Z: I’ll go underground, backrooms, the urinals! I’ll win over staff members on the Hill. They need place to vent.

L: A gossip column?

Z: No, we’ll lift the veil. What’s really going on?

L: This is the Washington Herald, Zoe. It’s not TMZ.

Z: Do you know how many people who watch TMZ?

L: I couldn’t care less.

Z: Which is why print journalism is dying?

L: Then it will die with dignity, at least with this paper.

Z: You are stuck in the 20th century, Lucas, you lack imagination.

L: Maybe so, but right now I don’t need imagination. I need copy. Your nights and weekends are yours, I applaud whatever you want to do, as long as it’s not on my time.

Z: You’re telling me to go back to work?

L: I am.

Z: What you’re really telling me is to fuck off.

L: I’m telling you both.

(Peter Russo walks into his office, and speaks with Christina, his secretary)

C: It’s Mr. Chapman already, from Provence Trust,

R: Hold my calls, Christina.

(Peter Russo walks into the room)

P: Henry. It’s good to see you. How long are you in town for?

H: Just today.

P: What? You gotta come back down for the inauguration. I can hook you up.

H: How about you hook me up with the zoning laws you promised to get changed? We got 12 million sitting in escrow for an empty lot we can’t build on.

P: I know, but you gotta understand. It’s a local municipal issue, I can’t just pick up the phone…

H: You can’t? Because that’s not what you lead us to believe when you begged for 50 grand in donations.

P: Right, I…just one second, Christina, I said no calls, not while I’m meeting with Mr. Chapman. The President-elect? Do you mind?

H: No, go ahead please.

P: Put him through Christina,(wait) Mr. President-elect? Thank you. Yes, we were pleased to win by double digits. Absolutely, anything you need.

Christina: I need you to put your long, wet, talented tongue, between my tights, and make me squeal like Monica Lewin…

P: Me too. Okay, thank you, sir. (Hang up the phone) I’m so sorry, where were we?

H: Walker? What’s he like?

(Underwood (dressed navy blue) talks with Linda in Linda’s office.)

U: The President-elect running late?

L: No, he couldn’t make it. I’ll brief him, though.

U: Okay. This is the memo, I’ve drafted, on our Middle East policy we’ve been developing. Now, I wanna to borrow from Reagan, I’d like to coin the phrase” Trickle-down diplomacy”, that way…

L: Frank, I’m gonna stop you there; we are not nominating you for the Secretary of State. I know, he made you a promise, but circumstances have changed.

U: The nature of promises, Linda, is that they remain immune to changing circumstances.

L: Garrett has thought long and hard about this. And he’s decided we need you to stay in the Congress.

U: When was this decision made? And why wasn’t I part of a conversation?

L: I’m sorry, Frank, if it been up to me, I wouldn’t have waited this long to tell you.

U: So you knew you were going to do this?

L: It has been an evolving discussion.

U: It’s a chicken-shit move.

L: Frank…

U: I was vetted, was that a ruse?

L: No…

U: Let’s be absolutely clear, you wouldn’t have won without me.

L: You are right, but now we have to lead. And that means making tough choices. As you know, education is a top priority for us. A complete federal overhaul. But it’s not just the education, Frank. Congress has split; we need you there, more than we need you in the State Department.

U: I got you hired, Linda.

L: I know.

U: Donations, endorsements, I wrote the campaign’s entire foreign policy platform. I bring years of Foreign Affairs Committee…

L: Frank, please.

U: I want to speak to Walker personally.

L: The decision is made.

(Underwood stands up with anger, takes his briefcase)

L: We need you, Frank. Will you stand beside us or not?

(Underwood thinks for a moment)

U: Of course, if that’s what the President wants.

L: I’m very glad to hear that.

(Underwood is leaving the office, but he stopped and turned by the door)

U: I’m curious, if not me then who?

L: Michael Kern

U: Michael Kern? Well, that is an excellent choice.

(Underwood backs home, Claire is sitting in the couch, angry)

U: Claire!

C: You didn’t call.

U: I was…

C: You didn’t call me, Francis. Nine hours, you don’t call me. Not when it’s this big.

U: You are right.

C: When have we ever avoided each other?

U: I wanted a solution first.

C: Do you have one?

U: Not yet.

C: This affects me too, Francis. And it’s not the money I’m upset about. It’s that we do things together. When you don’t involve me we are in free fall.

U: I should have called you and I didn’t.

C: What happened?

U: She says they needed to keep me in Congress.

C: Linda said that?

U: Walker wasn’t even there. That’s what really gets me, he didn’t even have the courage to look me in the eyes.

C: I knew you shouldn’t trust that woman.

U: I didn’t, I don’t, I don’t trust anyone.

C: Then how could you not see this coming?

U: I never thought they were capable.

C: You don’t usually underestimate people, Francis.

U: I know. Hubris. Ambition…

C: You should be angry.

U: I am livid.

C: Then where is that I don’t see it?

U: what do you want me to do, scream and yell? Throw a temper?

C: I want more than I’m seeing, you’re better than this, Francis.

U: Well I’m sorry, Claire, I am sorry.

C: No that I won’t accept.

U: What?

C: Apologies, my husband doesn’t apologizes, even to me.

(Claire stands up and moves upstairs, Underwood walks into the living room, pushes the table down, the vase broke, and then walks towards the window, smoke)

(Claire and Underwood talks beside the window, in the mid of night)

U: How long have you been up?

C: Hours

U: I know what I have to do.

C: Good.

U: We’ll have a lot of nights like this. Making plans, very little sleep

C: I expected that, it doesn’t worry me.

(Claire kisses Underwood; Underwood gives the cigarette to Claire)

U: I’d better get to work.

(Claire takes the cigarette which Underwood gives to her)

C: I laid a suit out for you upstairs. The navy blue one.

(Camera speaking)

I love that woman, I love her more than sharks love blood.

(Underwood back to his office, talks to Stamper)

U: They’ve done us a great favor, Doug. We are no longer bond by allegiances, we serve no one. We live by one rule and one rule only. Never again will we allow ourselves to be put in such a position.

S: Walker and Vasquez?

U: All of them, I hold them all accountable.

S: Retribution?

U: No, no! It’s more than that. Take a step back, look at the bigger picture.

S: I can see what you’re getting at. Kern first?

U: That’s how you devour a whale, Doug. One bite at a time.

S: Who would you want? For Secretary of State.

U: Give me a list of choices. And, however we do this, we’ll also need a buffer.

S: You mean an errand boy?

U: Yes, someone we control completely.

S: Okay, I’ll keep my ear to the ground.

U: Good, I haven’t eaten since yesterday.

(Underwood takes some food at the canteen, seeing Kern walks in with a crowd of people, Kern nods at Underwood, Underwood stares at Kern, no feedback)

(Camera speaking)

I almost pity him, he didn’t choose to be put on my platter. When I carve him up and toss him to the dogs, only then will he confront that brutal inescapable truth. My god! All I ever amounted to is chitterlings…

(At the church)

“And he that shall humble himself, shall be exalted, Matthew, Chapter 23 verse 12”

I’d like to speak today on the subject of humility. Well, a lot of you have just won re-election, if you hadn’t, you might not be sitting here. And of course we should enjoy our success and be grateful for it. But never let your gratitude sour into pride. You will have many challenges ahead over the next couple of years. And a person’s character isn’t determined by how he or she enjoys victory, but rather how he or she endures defeat. Nothing can help us endure dark times better than our faith.

(Underwood and Claire walk into the National Center for Performing Arts)

U: So I’m curious, are we patrons, benefactors or lepers?

C: Believe it or not, we’re angles.

U: I’m gonna go outside and pretend to use my cell phone.

C: Go

(Underwood walks towards the gate of the hall, and Zoe just gets off the cab, just by the moment they cross, somebody takes a picture)

(Underwood is playing video game at the basement)

C: Are you coming to bed?

U: I’ll be up in a bit.

C: Don’t stay up all night.

U: No, I’ll be right there.

(At Francis’s office)

S: She’s here.

U: Send her in.

(Camera speaking)

It’s quite rare for a President’s chief of staff to climb the Hill. A gesture of respect no doubt, or desperation. I guessing she’ll say Donald Blythe for education. Let’s see if I’m right.

U: Good morning, Linda. Thank you so much for making the trip up.

L: Of course, my pleasure.

U: Education.

L: First things first, the seating chart for the inauguration. How do these two work for you and Claire?

U: Wow!

L: They come with a complimentary set of tickets to the Jefferson Ball.

U: Claire will be over the moon.

L: Good, I’m so glad. So, education. We have Donald Blythe drafting the legislation.

U: Donald Blythe? Jesus.

L: I know.

U: So you want a bill just two steps left of Karl Marx?

L: I advised the President-elect against it, but Donald is the face of education. He’s been pushing reform for 25 years.

U: You want me to guide him to the middle?

L: We need a bill we can pass.

U: Do I have absolute autonomy and authority on this?

L: There’s more. Garrett wants the bill on the floor in the first 100 days. He wants to make a pledge in his inaugural address.

U: Ah, that’s… that’s very ambitious, Linda.

L: Can we make that pledge?

U: A hundred days? I can deliver.

(Underwood sends Linda out of the office)

L: Keep me posted.

U: I’ll talk with Donald, I’ll check in with you later in the week.

L: Terrific.

(Camera speaking)

Did you smell that? The smugness? The false deference. She thinks I can be bought with a pair of tickets, what am I? A whore in post-war Berlin? Salivating over free stockings and chocolate? What she’s asking will cost far more than that.

(Underwood and Stamper are reviewing their candidates of the Secretary of States in Underwood’s office)

S: Ferguson?

U: Too old.

S: Willis?

U: Too stupid

S: Boyd?

U: Too queer

S: Really? He’s married with three kids.

U: And wouldn’t they be devastated.

S: All right. What about Catherine Durant?

U: Cathy Durant? She was vocally anti Walker.

S: She’s got the experience.

U: Set up a meeting.

(Zoe is knocking on Underwood’s door)

U: Who are you?

Z: My name is Zoe Barnes, I’m a reporter at the Washington Herald.

U: It is after 10:30 at night and this is my home. I do not allow any…

Z: We are part of a mutual admiration society.

U: You’re a fan of the symphony.

Z: One more for the people watching than the music.

U: It’s all right, Steve. Come on in, Miss Barnes.

(Zoe and Underwood is talking in the living room, Underwood handed Zoe a cup of whisky)

Z: It’s strong.

U: You prefer weak?

Z: No, the stronger the better. There’s no harm in looking.

U: It’s a cheap ploy.

Z: It’s cheap but effective.

U: Well, you certainly have my undivided attention.

Z: Good. The reason I’m here…

U: Oh, is foreplay over?

Z: I read somewhere that JFK never lasted more than three minutes.

U: The point been?

Z: Time is precious. Powerful people don’t have the luxury of foreplay.

U: Okay, so why are you here, Ms. Barnes?

Z: I need somebody I can talk to.

U: We’re talking. Tell me what we’re talking about.

Z: I protect your identity. I print whatever you tell me. And I’ll never ask any questions.

U: And what makes you think I don’t already have such an arrangement with one of your colleague?

Z: Because if you did, you wouldn’t have let me through the door.

U: I’ve led a very long, very successful career avoiding this sort of intrigue with the press. I can’t see any advantage in starting now…

Z: But is there any disadvantage?

U: Sloppiness, for one.

Z: I promise you absolute discretion.

U: So, we’re talking about trust.

Z: Use whatever words you like.

U: Words matter very much, Ms. Barnes. You should care more about them, given your profession.

Z: Then, yes…your trust.

U: So, which Zoe Barnes am I to trust? The one who wrote about the fireman that married the meter maid? Or the one who authored a very fine article on a new jogging path in Rock creek Park? Don’t be flattered, I read everything.

Z: I’m better than what they have me doing. You know what that feels like.

U: Do I?

Z: You would’ve made a great Secretary of State.

(Silence a little bit)

U: How exactly may I help you, Ms. Barnes?

Z: You must know the administration legislative agenda. What’s coming up first?

U: I may.

Z: Will you tell me?

U: What would be your guess?

Z: Education?

U: Why?

Z: Immigration is too controversial, a tax reform isn’t sexy enough. Everyone can get behind children. Is it education?

U: You might very well think that, I couldn’t possibly comment.

Z: A hint.

U: It’s late, Ms. Barnes

Z: Can we talk again?

U: I hope you’ll understand that I want to sleep on all of this. I never make such big decision so long after sunset and so far from dawn.

(Underwood sent Zoe to the door, Zoe gives Underwood her name card)

Z: My cellphone’s on the back.

U: (speak to the security man) Did you put Miss Barnes in the visitor’s ledger?

Security Man: Not yet.

U: Don’t. Needless to say.

Z: Needless.

(Claire shows up by the stairs)

C: Hello.

U: (speak to Claire) Claire, this is Ms. Zoe Barnes of the Washington Herald. She was just leaving.

Z: Very nice to meet you, Mrs. Underwood.

C: Drive safe, there’s a lot of ice on the road.

Z: (seems noticed something from Claire’s words) I will. Thank you.

(Zoe left)

C: Dose that work on anybody?

U: Does what?

C: The push up bra and V-neck T.

U: Well, if it does, I don’t know who they are.

(A cop pursuit Peter Russo, and makes him stop by the road)

P: Okay, it’s all right. It’s all right.

Police officer: License and registration.

P: (said to the girl sits beside him) The glove compartment, sweetheart.

Police officer: This isn’t your driver’s license, it’s a Starbucks’ card.

P: Oh shit, sorry.

Police officer: Sir, you’ve been drinking?

P: No, I never drink coffee at this hour.

Police officer: I’m gonna need you to step out of the car.

P: Hey, I was speeding you can write me a ticket.

Police officer: Sir, step out of the car. Right now.

P: Look, I don’t wanna be a prick, but I’m a member of the Congress.

Police officer: I don’t care if you are the King of China.

P: China doesn’t have a king. It’s a communist oligarchic. Oli…oliguarch…

Police officer: Let’s go, out. You too, sweetie.

P: Fuck, that’s hard to say.

(Underwood’s bedroom, midnight, phone rings)

U: Hello? Good! Well, let’s get him out.

(midnight, café somewhere)

Stamper: May I join you?

Nigger: What the fuck is going on? I thought I was meeting with…

S: No. You are meeting me.

N: It’s four in the goddamned morning. I’ve got a City Council meeting…

S: You’ve been Police Commissioner for what? Almost a decade now?

N: We’re here to talk about my resume?

S: “Mayor of DC” would look good on that resume, wouldn’t it? We know that you’ve been angling to run for some time. Experience is your strong suit. Endorsement, fund raising…they are not. We can help with that.

(police station)

Police officer: Russo, you’re free to go.

(Christina picks Russo up, they speaks in Christina’s car)

P: It was just a few drinks.

C: It was enough to get pulled over.

P: I wasn’t drunk drunk.

C: You cannot keep doing this, Peter. It’s going to catch up with you.

P: I know.

(Underwood’s house, Underwood is cutting an apple with a knife)

C: Do you think we can arrange two more at our table for the Jefferson Ball?

U: For who?

C: The Holburnes.

U: Why on earth would you want them there?

C: I’m gonna need her money for the CWI, the staff cuts were just not enough.

U: I’ll talk to Vasquez.

C: How are we doing?

U: Good. Progress. Irons on the fire.

C: I like irons, but I love fire.

(Underwood’s office, Underwood is reading the act drafted by Donald)

U: Yes.(And then put all of these papers into paper shredder besides him)

D: What are you…

U: The bill is garbage, Donald. Tax increases, ban on vouchers, federal oversight. How do you expect me to get that through a…

D: But Linda told me to write it, she promise…

U: I’m sure she said any number of things, forget what they promised you, Donald. They want your name because it carries weight.

D: Well my name comes with my ideas.

U: I understand but you got to be reasonable. This isn’t the great debate. It’s about passing meaningful reform, maybe not everything you would’ve hope, but help me, help you.

D: That’s gonna take time. Those ideas I’ve been developing…

U: If it’s time you need I will buy you time, but you ‘ve got to promise me your next-at-bat is gonna give me something I can work with.

D: Okay, Frank. I’ll see what I can do.

U: Good, and Donald, don’t let this get you down. Why? Together we’re gonna do more than you’ve been able to do in 25 years.

(Underwood walked directly out of his office)

(Camera speaking)

Two things are now irrelevant: Donald Blythe and Donald Blythe’s new draft. Eventually I’ll have to rewrite the bill myself. Forward! That is the battle cry. Leave ideologies for the Armchair General, does me no good.

(Durant is talking with Underwood in the office)

D: Walker just nominated Kern.

U: It's a long road to confirmation.

D: Kern is a boy scout.

U: Nobody is a boy scout, not even boy scouts.

D: What do you have?

U: Absolutely nothing.

D: (Laughter) Than what are we talking about?

U: Just asking the simple question: does the job interest you?

D: Why would you want Michael gone?

U: Cathy, you and I came up together. The Foreign Affairs Committee needs a Secretary we can work with, someone who isn’t afraid to stand up to Walker when he’s wrong. (Stop) We need you.

C: Let’s just assume I am interested.

U: I don’t want to assume. I want to know.

(Stamper & Trash bin)

(Zoe is on a phone call)

Z: OK, 2637. (Zoe’s iPhone rings, it's Frank) Please hold. Zoe Barnes. Anywhere you want. On my way. I’m gonna have to call you back.

(Museum)

Z: (late) I’m sorry, I couldn’t get a cab, I had to take a train.

U: Just before you left my house. Think back, what were we discussing?

Z: The President’s legislative agenda.

U: Specifically.

Z: Education. Was I right?

U: Do the math, Miss Barnes.

Z: He needs a bill.

U: Sponsored by?

Z: You?

U: You smarter than that.

Z: Somebody with legitimacy.

U: Good. And who screams of legitimacy in education?

Z: Donald Blythe?

U: Correct, the problem is?

Z: He’s an old school tax and spend liberal. Walker run as a moderate. You think Blythe would talk to me?

(Underwood hands over the draft bill to Zoe, from the shredder)

U: He doesn’t have to.

Z: Wait, we are in very grey area ethically, legally which I’m OK with…

U: I just love this painting, don’t you? We are in the same boat now, Zoe. Take care not to tip it over, I can only save one of us from drowning.

(Linda and Underwood is talking in the office)

L: He announces the education initiative on Monday, Half of the address is based on…

U: I understand.

L: Do we need to take it out?

U: We’re fine, Linda.

L: But you just got through saying he has to start over.

U: I didn’t choose Blythe, you did. You put him in my lap and ask me to work a miracle, and I will. Now have a little faith, Linda. Let me work with Donald on this. I know what can be accomplished in a hundred days.

L: All right, Frank. We’re counting on you.

U: Good. Now I do have a little favor to ask, do you think I can get just two more tickets for my table at the Jefferson Ball?

(Stamper is showing Russo to Underwood’s office)

U: Drink?

R: Sure, what do you got?

U: Whiskey, blent.

R: If you’re offering.

U: So...How are things in the city of brotherly love?

R: We’re getting by.

U: Good. Good. Oh, sorry, I’ve made that neat, did you want…

R: It’s perfect.

(Underwood sits down, and starts to talk)

U: So, it seems you’ve been a bit irresponsible.

R: What?

U: Don’t play dumb with me Peter. Save it for the Ethics Committee. Drink up, you could use a little courage right now.

R: You’re not having one?

U: It's a bit early in the day for me.

R: This is about the other night? How do you know about that?

U: I’m the whip, it’s my job to know.

R: Look, they let me off. There’s no charges, it's all taken care of.

U: Honestly, Peter, do you really think these things just take care of themselves?

R: You? It was just the one time, Frank, I swear to God.

U: Then you must hold God in very low esteem, because we both know that’s a lie. Solicitation, control of substances, driving under the influence. Got quite a long list of hobbies.

R: What is it you want?

(Underwood stands up)

U: You absolute, unquestioning loyalty.

R: Always.

U: Do not misunderstand what I mean by loyalty.

R: Anything, name it, Frank.

U: You seem far too relaxed.

R: I’m not.

U: You shouldn’t be. Doug’ll be in touch.

(Zoe walks into the office, Lucas is on the phone)

L: Hang on. Where have you been? I’ve been calling here, everybody’s been working double time for the inauguration. You just up and disappear you…Hang on. Let me call you back. Where did you get this?

Z: Wrong question. The right question is how quickly can we get it up on the site.

L: I have to run this pass Tom.

(Tom’s office)

T: Let’s get legal on this. Make sure we’re not breaking any laws. (to Zoe) You won’t tell me your source?

Z: I can’t do that.

T: Fine, but if legal finds even one…

Z: I understand. How long do you think that will take? We should get this online right away.

T: I’m not just going to scan a 300-page document and put it up before we have gone through it every…

Z: I did that already.

T: The whole thing?

Z: Cover to cover. I’ve got excerpts, analysis, three thousand words ready for editing.

T: (to Lucas) You start go over that. Get graphics work and table’s charts the whole nine yards. Janine. What's the angle. Five words.

Z: Far left of center.

T: That’s four.

Z: Very far left of center.

T: Enough to put Walker on his heels?

Z: Fuck his heels it’s gonna put him on his ass.

(Janine comes in)

J: What’s that?

T: We’ve got a copy of the administration education bill. You gonna work with Zoe, do background cover.

J: Zoe Barnes?

Z: Right here.

T: Whatever she needs.

J: Shouldn’t I be writing…

T: She wrote it already. (to Zoe) And I want you to rewrite and rewrite it again. (to Janine) You’ll help her.

J: Tom, I am your chief political correspondent!

T: Go! I want this by tomorrow.

J: But I need to focus on the inauguration.

T: This is more important.

Z: (Walks out of the office, through the face of Janine.) Let’s get started.

(At the inauguration)

(Camera Talking)

Power’s a lot like real estate. It’s all about location, location, location. The closer you are to the source, the higher your property values. Centuries from now, when people watch this footage, who will they see smiling ar the edge of the frame?

President-elect speech.

Today is not about the next years, it’s about the next four decades. Now you place your faith in me. And I, in turn, choose to place that faith in our children. Our children are the key to this nation’s future. And that’s why the first order of business for this administration would be a comprehensive education reform bill, to properly fix, finance, and strengthen our nation’s school. And I pledge to you, we will have that bill on the floor of the Congress within the first one hundred days of this administration.

(inauguration party)

Guest Lady: It was so nice of to make this possible, when you call me, I…

Claire: Do not say another word.

Kern: I’m gonna miss Al on my ultimate Frisbee league this year. No, I’m serious. A few of us on budget have quite a rivalry going with the guys on Finance. It’s fierce, we get physical. Anybody gets between me and that goal line I WILL TAKE THAT SUCKER DOWN.

(Underwood leaves the table, walks to Donald Blythe)

U: Donald, I’ve been looking for you everywhere. Maestro. Here, let me help you with that…I really like the work you done on the new draft. It’s a big step forward, we gonna make history.

D: Thanks for the encouragement, Francis. Listen, I got some ideas about subsidies…

U: (turn his head and find Cathy) Catherine! Hold on to that thought, Donald. (and walks to Cathy) Don’t you look stunning.

C: We southern girls clean up well when we get out of our Daisy Dukes, and enter some Vera Wang.

U: And we southern boys are slow with our words, but we’re fast on our feet. May I have the honor?(Asking dancing with Catherine)

C: You most certainly may.

(Freddy’s BBQ joint)

U: Morning, Freddie.

F: Morning, Frank.

U: How’s tricks?

F: I can’t kick. Want to go on in?

U: No, why don't you set me up outside.

F: Outside? But it’s freezing out here.

U: Well, a little cold never hurt anybody.

F: Anything you say, Frank. It’ll be right up.

U: My one guilty pleasure is a good rack of ribs, even at 7:30 in the morning. Got the whole place to myself, Freddie sometimes opens up just for me. Where I come from, South Carolina, people did have two pennies to rub together. A rack of ribs was a luxury, like…Christmas in July.

F: Do you want seconds, Frank?

U: I better not. Tell you what, Freddie? Yes I will.

(Camera talking)

 I’m feeling a hunger today.

THE END

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