（说明：英文部分是本人阅读的摘录，中文部分是本人的翻译。是否属于原创，请编辑自行定夺。）
1. My whole formerly estranged extended family is happy about it.
我先前就已经离异的家庭整个家族对此都感到高兴。
2. I started the National Anthem too high, and ended up sounding like a screechy but brittle blend of battlefield surgery and a pterodactyl with its tits in a wringer.
我开始唱国歌时起调太高，结果是听起来像是战地手术和一只乳房被绞扭的翼手龙的混合尖叫声。
3 Indians, Asians, and Mexicans are competing for who can sleep the least. If you say one of them looks well rested, they will take it as an insult. Indians sleep five hours a night and Mexicans sleep four, but Asians sleep three. Asians sleep at work standing up. They can work in their sleep, standing at the cash register.
印度人，亚洲人和墨西哥人在比赛谁睡觉睡得最少。如果你夸他们任何一位说休息得很好，他们会认为是一种侮辱。印度人每晚睡五小时，墨西哥人睡四小时，而亚洲人只睡三小时。亚洲人工作的时候站着都能睡着。他们可以站在收音机旁，边睡边干活。
4. One customer was a merry widow who had once perhaps been a blushing flower but was now in the twilight of her years, and her apartment had the gentility of an antebellum-South sitting room combined with the studio apartment of a recently paroled serial rapists.
有一名客户是位风流寡妇，她应该曾经貌美如花，不过现在已经是美人迟暮。她的公寓有着一种南北战争以前美国南方会客室的贵气，又混杂着一名刚刚假释出狱的强奸惯犯的单身公寓的气息。
5. I was facing a Russian roulette of hormone-crazed pubescent theater-nerd lips.
我面对着这些戏剧系书呆子们那对荷尔蒙高涨青春期勃发的嘴唇，像赌俄罗斯轮盘那样挑了一个。
