最近,在阅读《你的生存焦虑正在杀死你》一书,在书中,读到一个词儿,“技术清洁”,很受启发。它所表达出的含义,不是指字面上的,而是提倡每天我们每个人都应该匀出一段时间,从智能设备上解放出来,安安静静和自己和家人相处。这段时间里,不要看手机,不好看电脑,最好能够关机。
在高速运转的当下,在精神发展赶不上物质发展的当下,这样做尤为重要。否则人就会变得越来越焦虑,越来越孤独,各种心理问题,层出不穷。
其实,被手机绑架导致人际梳理,人活得越来越不快乐的现象,已经非常严重,也有许多人意识到手机对自己身心的影响,开始采取措施。
只有自己才是自己生命的掌舵者和拯救者,摆脱手机依赖症,其积极意义,不仅在有利于经营良好的亲密关系,也有助于自我的发展与实现。著名央视女主持人董卿就与人分享,她自己的手机是从来不入卧室的,每晚10点后,她进入卧室,手机静音或关机留在客厅,睡前,认真看一段时间书,倦了就入睡了。这位满腹诗书的主持人,优雅的气质与夺人的才华,令人艳羡。
生命的质量,取决于我们自己,如何做,也全权在我们自己。
下文也是谈及经营关系的重要性。英文原文来自《财富中文网》,我的译文,分享给大家,供参考。
在你的投资总额中,关系占多大比例?
A friend recently posted some words on Facebook which Steve Jobs reportedly said shortly before he passed away. He mentioned how he had become accustomed to wealth, and how if he had it to do over again, he would have spent more time on relationships.
最近,有个朋友在脸书上贴上了几句据称是乔布斯辞世前不久说过的话,说的是他自己一生习惯了忙忙碌碌创造财富,如果能从头再来一次,一定要花更多的时间经营人际关系。
I’m not sure whether these comments were really made by Jobs, and I have not checked the facts. My point in sharing them here is not related to Steve Jobs per se, but any and all of us.
我不确定这几句话是否真出自乔布斯之口,也没有进行考证。但我今天所分享的,并不仅仅关乎乔布斯,而是与每个人息息相关。
It’s human nature to tend to take things such as relationships for granted, and to underinvest into their care and maintenance. This pitfall affects all sorts of people, but especially those on a fast track to success and wealth. Wiser people will realize they are letting important relationships slip, and do something about it while there’s still time. Others may only wake up to this problem when it’s too late.
可以说,将关系视为理所当然,对其懒于经营、疏于关心,是人类的天性,也是个万人坑,尤其容易坑住那些走在通往成功和财富快车道上的人。智慧的人,尚能趁为时未晚,亡羊补牢,意识到对重要的关系正在流失而采取修补措施。而其他一些人,则可能直到为时已晚,才幡然醒悟。
I am not referring to “guanxi”, or business and professional relationships which we cultivate in order to seek some benefit; but rather to those which revolve primarily around family and friendship.
我在这里说的“关系”,不是指为了获得个人利益而努力维持的那种商业性的交易性的“关系”,而是指以家庭和友情为核心的关系。
The high-speed, hectic clutter of life and work today have taken a harsh toll on relationships. We spend much more time on mobile device-based than face to face communications. Relationships have become an endangered species, but unlike a rare animal in a remote jungle, relationships are right here and now. Each and every day.
当下,高速、喧闹的工作生活方式已经对我们的关系产生了严重影响。我们在各种设备上花费掉的时间,远比面对面的交流多。人际关系已经沦为了濒危动物,但与深藏在原始丛林中的濒危动物不同,我们的人际关系就在我们的眼皮子底下,无时无刻不在消亡。
Despite that, we allow ourselves to get distracted, and to postpone efforts to foster and improve relationships. The most convenient excuse is also somewhat true: “Hey, I’m so busy lately.” Day after day, we get into the habit of being too busy to invest the time and effort which are required to nurture relationships.
可纵然如此,对待人际关系,我们还是心不在焉,满不在乎,无限拖延,迟迟不采取行动去改善出现问题的关系。当然,最方便、有时也是最真实的借口是,“最近太忙了。”日复一日,我们便形成了因太忙,而没时间没精力经营关系的习惯了。
Usually, we don’t stop to think what the long-term implications of this behavior are. That’s not very sensible.
通常,我们也不怎么会停下来思考这样做的长期影响,而这实在是太不明智了。
As time flies by, there is a risk that we’ll wake up one day counting the fruits of our labor, but regretting that we didn’t strike a better balance between work and relationships.
时光飞逝,终有一天,在盘点劳动果实时,我们很可能会悔恨自己未能更好地平衡努力工作和经营关系。
I used to think that Alzheimer’s disease was perhaps the worst case among illnesses one could contract. The mind and memory progressively decline while the body remains fit, and there is as of yet no proven treatment or cure. The reasons why some people contract the disease and others do not remain largely a mystery. Before long, the sufferer doesn’t recognize their loved ones.
我曾经以为,老年痴呆症很可能是人所患疾病中最糟糕的一种了——人虽然身体健康,但记忆和思维能力却逐渐退化,且还无药可治,患病原因也还是个谜。很快,患者就认不出他的至爱亲朋了。
In other words, people suffering from Alzheimer’s have apparently not made unhealthy lifestyle choices which contributed to their getting this crippling disease. They end up alone because their mind loses the ability to know their loved ones. It’s just bad luck.
换句话说,很明显,老年痴呆症患者并非因为是自己选择了不健康的生活方式才生了这种病,以至于落得辨认不出至爱亲朋而孤独悲怆。这一切,只不过是命运捉弄而已。
By comparison, people who chronically neglect relationships may also end up alone, because their forgotten friends and family may eventually give up on them. The difference lies in the choices they make along the way. This is a largely a preventable outcome.
而相比之下,长时间忽略人际关系的人也会孤独终老,因为被他们忽略的亲朋好友最终也可能放弃他们。这两者的区别就在于,这是他们一直以来长期忽略人际关系的人最后也会孤独终老,原因却是被他们遗忘的亲朋最终可能会弃他们而去。二者的区别就在于,这是他们一路走来的选择,很大程度上本可以避免。
As a now retired banker friend used to say: “You want to be the richest man in the graveyard? For what?” He has a point, of course. An obsession with money rarely results in a happy ending.
正如一位新近从银行退休的朋友常说的,“你难道想成为坟墓中的首富吗?究竟图个啥?”他的话还是有道理的。过度追求金钱,很少收获到真正的幸福。
It’s easy to make excuses for why we didn’t regularly put time and effort into reaching out to family, friends, or people less fortunate than ourselves. Human relationships are precious assets, as well as responsibilities. They need attention and nurture, lest we forget.
人往往容易为自己找各种各样的理由,不愿花时间去关心家人朋友,去爱护处境不如我们的人。但要知道,人际关系是一笔宝贵的资产,同时也是义不容辞的责任,需要我们的关注与养护,而不是无视。
And we, being only human, need reminders.
而区区人类如我们,需要时刻警醒自己。