作者开篇第一句就说,All authorities on the style of English prose agree that good writing is concise. 也就是说英文写作的第一要义是简洁,不过由于我们带着汉语的语言习惯,很多时候中国人写出来的英语有很多重复罗嗦的部分。作者把这种习惯总结为以下几个方面:
● 名词和动词的冗余
● 修饰词冗余
● 同义词冗余
● 重复造成的冗余
● 反复指代造成的冗余
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● 名词和动词的冗余
很多时候冗余的名词所表达的意思已经被句子中的其他单词涵盖了。这一点跟我们的语言习惯密不可分。比如说,我们习惯说加快经济改革的进程,但是在英语中加快(accelerate)就是加快XXX的进程的意思。
错误: to accelerate the pace of economic reform
正确: to accelerate economic reform
["To accelerate" = "to increase the pace of."]
因为汉语中动词没有时态、名词没有复数,我们在表述相关的意思时总要加上一些修饰词才能表达完整的意思,但是英语有时态、有复数,在用英语写作时,就没必要加上多余的部分了。举例如下:
错误: the development of our economy in the future will, to a large extent, depend on...
正确: the development of our economy will depend to a large extent on...
[将来时已经表示未来了。The future tense of the verb ("will depend") is sufficient to express futurity.]
错误: we should adopt a series of measures to ensure that...
正确: we should adopt measures to ensure that...
[中文我们会说,我们要采取一系列的措施,但是英文复数已经有这个意思了。Here the plural form of "measures" covers the sense of a "series."]
还有一点需要注意,我们很喜欢在中文里加入表示类别的名词,比如经济(领域)的改革、推进和平统一(的事业)、确保紧密地合作(关系),这些词在英语中都显得多余。
跟名词的情况类似,我们使用动词时也习惯用词义模糊的动词词组而不是具有实际意义的动词,从而造成了冗余。作者总结了以下两种情况:
1. unnecessary verb plus noun
2. unnecessary verb plus unnecessary noun plus third word
具体举例如下:
错误: they should conduct a careful examination of...
正确: they should carefully examine...
[英语中说仔细检查就够了,不需要说进行仔细的检查]
错误: three garrison divisions were necessary to perform the task of guarding warehouses
正确: three garrison divisions were necessary to guard warehouses
[执行保卫库房的任务就是保卫库房]
错误: this measure will have a restrictive effect on the activities of speculators
正确: this measure will restrict the activities of speculators
[产生限制的作用也就是限制]
最常见的两个表意模糊的动词要数make和have了。
To make:
to make an investigation of = to investigate
to make a careful study of = to study carefully
to make a decision to = to decide to
to make a proposal that = to propose that
to make efforts to = to try (or: attempt) to
to make an analysis of = to analyze
To have:
to have a dislike for = to dislike
to have trust in = to trust
to have an influence on = to influence
to have adequate knowledge of = to know enough about
to have the need for = to need
to have respect for = to respect
其他:
to give guidance to = to guide
to provide assistance to = to assist
to carry out the struggle against = to struggle against
to conduct reform of = to reform
to engage in free discussion of = to discuss (it) freely
to achieve success in = to succeed in
to accomplish the modernization of = to modernize
to realize the transformation of = to transform
to bring about an improvement in = to improve
to place stress on = to stress
to exercise control over = to control
to register an increase = to increase
类似的还有我们总说的“我们要努力做到”、“我们要想尽一切办法保证”,这些动词在英语中不表示实际的动作,要描述一个动作就要落到实处,说明这个动作到底是什么。涉及到的表达还有:
make every effort to,
try our best to,
do our utmost to,
do everything possible to (also, plain verbs: strive to,endeavor to, work hard to ),
make a success of,
achieve success in,
do successful work in.
这些动词转移了读者的注意力,本应成为重点的动词却没有成为重点。英语,尤其是美式英语,强调间接直白、正中要害。我们在写作和交流的时候,一定要多思考一下,哪个单词能够最准确地表达自己的意思。