After staring at the ground for what seemed interminable buttransitory five minutes, I was frustrated. Here I was, standing before a boothcompletely mortified, feeling as if all the attention of the rushing passers-bywere shining on me in the spotlight of shame. What had I gotten myself into? My mind raced, anxious to find excuses to leave as I toiled every minute worrying about how awkward I looked and begged time to move faster.
Standing in public and chanting slogans was an image unimaginable to me, a shy girl who preferred to work behind the scene. I could accomplish the tedious and meticulous task of collecting meal fees and other incidentals in the class; I was enthusiastic about performing zither for the elderly and children; I often shared my home-made cookies with my friends; and I enjoyed the challenge of conducting scientific research in the university lab. You see,I was the type of girl who avoided anything involving speaking in the public.But part of me had always aspired to break out of the shell, and that’s how I ended up selling t-shirts in the hope of overcoming my timidity. Gosh, I must be insane when I also voluntarily took the leading role of the team.
Anyway I was cornered. I could feel my face burning with embarrassment,knowing that my silence was utterly out of place among screaming touts. As groups of customers were drawn to nearby booths, while only few lingered around ours, I grew restless and was weighed down by the responsibility of fulfilling sales target.
Near meltdown, I knew something needed to be done. Despite my instinctive urge to retreat, I should confront the challenge bravely. It was acritical moment: a matter not about whether or not I should stay, but aboutwhat kind of person I could be and wanted to be. I must make the right choice to conquer my shyness and step out of my comfort zone.
Mustering up what little courage I had, I finally called out“T-shirts!” Though barely audible,I was relieved and encouraged. After all, once the first hawking was uttered,the spell of fear lost grip on me, and I realized speaking in public was not as difficult as I had imagined. By the end of the day, my throat was hoarse from yelling, but I felt satisfied, not only because my team sold nearly one hundred T-shirts, but also because I made five friends within one day by initiating chats with others. That sweltering summer day of 2014 symbolized the first time that I confronted my shortcoming instead of avoiding it. But it also witnessed growth:a transformation into a better self.
When the selling activity ended a month later, I felt stunned to see the changes in me. I became more extroverted and confident. Within the team, I could launch productive discussions about selling strategies and task assignments. In the class, I was eager to participate in presentations oranswer teacher’s questions. This February I interned as assistant customer manager in a securities company, where I communicated with customers daily to assist them in opening or transferring accounts. Four months later, when attending summer school in Dali, Yunnan, I actively greeted strangers from allover the world and spent a happy time sharing mutual interests with those newly-made friends. Stepping out of shyness, I began to explore an even wonderful world that I could never know otherwise.
But sometimes, I still thought of that bashful girl who stood speechless before the booth. It reminded me that whatever obstacles may lie ahead, what I could achieve is limited only by my willingness to push myself. To me, maturity meansthe courage to change. In Don Quixote’s words, “I know who I am and who I maybe, if I choose.” Now I am ready and not afraid to overcome any hardship.
