原创： 王参谋 王琼工作室 输出的力量
商务英语写作：攻克敌人 上篇
笔胜于剑，落笔无悔：点开商务英语写作的金手指。大家好，我是王参谋。今天我想分享高效商务英语写作的第五个窍门——攻克商务英语写作中的敌人。
我一共总结了十个敌人，基本属于我们在商务英语写作中常见的错误。熟悉、了解这些敌人有助于我们迅速整顿英语语法、英语的文化特点，从而让我们的写作更加规范。
具体来讲，十个敌人有：
十个敌人，我们一个一个来看：
Enemy #1
Lengthy Sentences
长句的错误
英语的句子重视衔接，不能随便将两三个简单句放在一起用逗号连接，而是需要用连接词。
✎Comma fault：逗点误用
例如：
✖The sales manager had an emergency, the meeting was canceled.
应改为☟☟☟
✔The sales manager had an emergency, and the meeting was canceled.
✔As the sales manager had an emergency, the meeting was canceled.
✎Run-on sentence：连写句：一“逗”到底，不带关联词
例如：
✖The company was established in 1891, the business scope is electronic appliances, it has more than 265,000 employees all over the world.
应改为☟☟☟
✔Established in 1891 and with total employees of more than 265,000 worldwide, the company has developed its business scopes in electronic appliances successfully.
举例来看：
➀I hope I can prepare the documents more official and professional and more persuasive, this is what I concern in writing.
➁For reports, write clear, complete, relevant explanations.
这些句子都违反了英语写作的要求。
Enemy #2
Sentence Fragment
句子不完整
A sentence is not complete and only with a subordinate clause. （只有从句没有主句的英语句式都是不完整的。）
✎Because the company is willing to spend a lot of money on new equipment.
可以补充完整，“we can sell the top-tier machines to them.”
✎In which you put the sales meeting minutes.
Where is the folder in which……
✎Looking out of the window, a plane is flying by.
这句话的分词伴随结构和主句的动作发出者不一致，称为：悬垂指示，都不符合英语写作和语法的要求。应该为：
Looking out of the window, I see a plane is flying by.
举例来看：
✎So, my concerns is that how to write some good business letter, technical specification, contract draft, etc. Which aspect of writing I will pay attention to.
其他的错误暂且不谈，但 “which”引导的应该是一个从句，不能单独成为一个主句。估计是因为电脑在etc.句号后面自动进行语法检查，才把 “which”大写了。
所以，写作使人精准，一定要在写完后再校对一遍。
Enemy #3
Wordy Expressions
表达冗余
图中左边的表达有以下特点：
✎Less economical
✎Redundant
✎Bureaucratic
✎Aristocratic
✎Oral and speech oriented
鼓励多用右边的表达，举例来看：
✎Due to the fact we are not working on May Day, we may put the meeting off till next Tuesday.
✎Until such time as my boss can give me specific instructions, I will not forward you by mail the price list.
Enemy #4
Spelling Errors
容易用错或者拼错的单词
举例来看：
✎as we sait in front of the office desk
✎such enport and export item
✎I think It is quite inportant for me
✎For my personal felling, if we want to …
✎Know how to wild the structure of …
✎Five years in information and technilogy and ……
最后一句是在一份简历中出现的错误，实在太不应该。
有一位公司高层在演讲中分享到，他看到过一位求职者的简历，标题大书两个字“病例”。
在人生最重要的文件上都出现如此重大的错误，那公司还敢把什么事情交付给他们去做呢？
所以，要做到落笔无悔，因为白纸黑字都记录下我们的细节和态度。
Enemy #5
Non-parallel Structure
非平行结构
It refers to a list of things are not written in consistent structure.
没有把结构相同、意义相关的单词、短语和分句排列在一个或几个相连的句子里。
➀Although the product seems appealing, the company has to consider the specific service capacities, the delivery, and what is the terms of payment.
(terms of payment)
➁The new secretary’s duties are filing, typing, taking phone calls and to make meeting arrangements.
(making meeting arrangements)
➂I like his bravery, her (his or 去除) positive outlook on life and that he is careful about details.
(his carefulness about details.)
Enemy #6
Subject and Verb Disagreement
主谓不一致/复数表达错误
➀A selection of her poems was/were published. (was)
➁To the analyst a knowledge of statistics is/are important. (is)
➂Forty percent of the statistics is/are wrong. (are)
➃Which of the two proposals has/have been accepted? (has)
➄Two of the proposals submitted has/have been accepted. (have)
➅She is one of the three youths who is/are coming to the school. (are)
中文多为性质描述，没有格数变化，所以中国同事写出的英文句子里有对复数表达不够准确的特点。举例来看：
➀There should be some different tone when you write to different level.
（tones，levels）
➁For example, when we figure out the faulty point…
（points）
➂I frequently contact my customer and subcontractor via E-mail, letter or fax…
（customers and subcontractors，E-mails, letters or faxes）
➃We should do more exercise and read some good reference material.
（exercises，materials）
笔胜于剑，落笔无悔，点开商务英语写作的金手指。
下一个部分，我再接着分享其他应该注意的英语写作的敌人。期待下一讲与你再见。
王参谋
你在英语写作中遇到过什么敌人？欢迎在留言区与我们分享。
