I used to thought, in my industry, you have to be knowledgeable and experienced to be a team leader. Because there’s always all kinds of technical problems awaits you. I used to be scared of being a team leader. Because I am not sure if I could solve all the problems I encountered in my project, let alone other team members’ hows. What if they come to me and ask: “manager, how should I handle this? How could I handle that?” And my inner voice could only reply ”I have no idea.” That would be awkward.

在我工作的注册会计师事务所行业里面，我一直觉得我们得非常专业和有经验才能做好一个团队领导，因为在项目上总会遇到各种各样的技术问题。我以前一直很怕带队来着，因为我觉得我自己在项目上的问题我都不一定能马上搞得掂，更何况别人问我怎么办的时候。如果我带队的团队成员跑过来问我：“经理，我们遇到这个问题要怎么办？那个问题要怎么办？”而我听完以后内心只有一句回复：“我也不知道啊。”那就真的有点尴尬了。而且有的时候项目时间紧，真的是自己的活都要干不完、自己的问题都没研究清楚，还要帮别人研究问题真的是心有余而力不足。

The year before last year, I joint a training class of my company on how to improve the auditing skills as an assistant manager. At that time, what impressed me most is not lessons on how to perform test of controls and substantive testing, but the lesson on how to be a project manager.

前年我参加了我们会计师事务所的一次助理经理审计技能提升培训班。那次培训给我印象最深不是教我们如何做控制测试和实质性程序的课程，而是一节“如何做一个项目经理？”

The teacher introduced us the leadership style of coaching, with a model to perform it, GROW. With coaching, you don’t have to know all the answers to all the questions in order to be a good leader, but you need to know how to motivate others to find solutions by asking questions.

课上老师讲了一种新型的领导力方式：教练式领导。以及一个可以让该领导力方式落地的GROW模型。在教练式领导下，一个人不一定非得能够解决所有问题才能当领导，你只要会提问，懂得如何用提问的方式来激励团队成员想出解决方式，就能做一个合格的团队领导。

Now I want you to imagine that, there are 2 equally good tennis players. Then 1 will be coached by a tennis coach, the other will be coached by a ski coach. Who will be a better tennis player after 1 month training with their coaches?

有一个小故事，有两个水平不相伯仲的网球运动员，一个将由网球教练教，另外一个由滑雪教练教，一个月后哪个教练教出来的网球运动员水平会更好？

To our surprise, is the one trained with the ski coach. You know why? Because the ski coach never judge, he just asked questions:” What do you think of your performance today? How do you think you can adjust it? Are there any other solutions to it? What kind of support do you need? “ The ski coach tend to help the player to find answers by motivating their self-reflection. It’s a famous story about the leadership style of coaching.

出人意料的是，滑雪教练教出了更好的网球运动员。答案有点令人费解，理由也是耐人寻味。因为滑雪教练并不会评价他的学员做得好不好，他只是一直不停在问问题：“你觉得你今天表现怎么样啊？你觉得哪里需要调整，怎么调整啊？有没有别的方法能够更好地提高你的表现啊？你需要我怎么帮助你训练啊？”滑雪教练因为并不完全懂网球的技巧，所以更倾向于提问来让运动员自我反思，从而帮助运动员自己寻找到答案。这是教练式领导风格来源的一个很有名的小故事。

The model of GROW is the abbreviation of Goal, Reality, Option, Will. GROW lead us the way to motivate people to understand their goal and reality, then find solutions, make options, get the willpower to carry out tasks.

帮助教练式领导风格落地的GROW模型是四个英文单词的缩写，目标Goal, 现实Reality,选择 Option,和意愿Will。GROW模型引导我们从四个角度去想怎么问问题，从而激发别人去认识到他们的目标、现实，想出多种解决方案，从多种解决方案中作出选择，然后排除顾虑建立信念，开始执行。

But you can’t coach them by simply throw all the questions: what is your goal? What is your reality? Do you have any options? Are you willing to do it with the solution you come up with? Never do that. They will get muddled.

在运用GROW模型的过程中，切记不能简单粗暴地一股脑儿把所有问题抛给对方：你的目标是什么？你的现实是什么？你有什么解决方案吗？你有足够的意愿来做这个事情吗？四个问题砸过去，不晕也懵了。

Leadership is art. Under different circumstances, ask different questions to help them figure out their own GROW.

领导力是门艺术。在不同的情境下，要用不同的问题引导你团队的小伙伴想清楚他们的GROW,才是正道。所以保持GROW模型这个方向在心中，然后刻意练习问问题的方式很重要。

For G, we ask to figure out the plausible goal of the task, or career planning. For my career, sometimes I wanted to achieve incompatible goals. Like I want a balanced life with less extra working hours, and I also wanted fast promotion. But it seems not so possible to get fast promotion if you don’t work extra hours. I need to ask myself seriously, if I can’t achieve both goals at the same time, Which goal is more important?

从G（Goal）讲起，通过问问题找出来准确、可行的目标是关键。这不仅仅适用于具体的任务，也适用于职业规划。在我的职业道路上，我有时候会有想要鱼和熊掌兼得的贪心。一边想着要加班少能平衡工作和生活就好了，一边又想着快速晋升成就一番事业这个人生目标很诱人啊。可是现实生活中，普通背景的普通人，很难有不加班就能快速平步青云啊，能力都是在工作中锻炼出来的，要想比别人升得快，最直观的道路就是得比别人更努力啊。所以相互矛盾的目标面前，一定要引导对方或自己想清楚，有没有兼顾的方法？如果没有，哪个目标更重要？

For R, reality is simple, but because sometimes we tend to blind ourselves, accept the reality and reconcile with it is hard. When trying to figure out the reality, it is important to ask what instead of why. What are the difficulties? What have you done yet? What are the results? We can show our concerns to team members by asking them what, rather than querying why.

再来谈R（Reality），现实其实很简单，但是做人嘛，总是会自欺欺人的时候，这个时候接受现实、与现实和解就没有那么容易了。当试图搞清楚现实的时候，一个重要原则是少问“为什么”，多问“是什么”。遇到的困难是什么？你做过什么努力？结果如何？问“是什么”能让队友感觉到你在关心他，也体现出想要了解情况一起讨论解决方案的诚意，而“为什么”这种问法总有些质问的含义在里面。换个角度沟通效果完全不一样。

For O, Brainstorming is a good way to make options. Keep on asking for more solutions means more chances of breaking the deadlock.

对于O（Option），通过一直不停地问“还有吗？“促使对方不停地头脑风暴，能够带来更多的解决方案，也更有可能为目前的问题找到突破口。这个时候注意不要评判对方错误的方案，也不能替对方做选择，而是要引导其找出正确的选择方案。

For W, Willpower to execute is the key to success. “When will you get started? What are you going to start with? What hinders you from taking actions? Do you need any support?”

W（Will）是最终成功解决问题的关键，这一步在于引导对方想清楚该怎么做之后，帮助他消除最后的顾虑开始执行。这时要问：”你打算什么时候开始行动啊？打算怎么做？有什么顾虑吗？需要谁的帮助和支持吗？“

My mom is a huge fan of controlling her kids, She always wanted everything done by her expectations. But she got confused when the result turned out to be unexpected, like my young brother’s school grade. She often asked me to introduce my learning methods to my brother. I called him:” hey, bro, seems like you’re in trouble now. I have showed you my learning methods before for many times, that’s helpful for me, but maybe it’s not the best for you. Do you have any idea how you’re going to handling this and stop mom from bothering me?” He’s a brilliant boy and he has his own ideas. All we need is just to motivate him to analyze possible solutions and encourage him do it his own way. Then I called my mom:” Please get rid of your sense of control, asking to motivate, do not judge.”

我妈是一个对孩子特别有控制欲的人，我知道她的出发点是希望子女一切顺利，不要遇到什么大风大浪。但是在这个信念的执行过程中总变成了她希望子女什么都按照她的想法来做。一旦结果不尽如她意的时候她又觉得无所适从，找不到解决方法。比如我弟弟考试一没考好的时候，她就会打电话过来问我怎么办，想让我教教弟弟怎么学习。我打电话给我弟弟：“嗨，我感觉你最近有点不妙啊！没考好老妈会一直揪着你不放的。我其实已经跟你讲过很多次我的学习方法了，但是别的人方法终究是别人的，不一定适合你。不管是别人分享的方法还是你自己想出来的办法，只有适合你的学习方法才是最好。你自己心里有没有什么想法？有没有想过你该怎么做才让下次考试成绩提升上来？也让老妈少叨叨你我几句？”他其实是一个很聪明的小朋友，也是一个有想法的人。相比填鸭式教育，我觉得教练式引导教育法对他来说更合适。多激励他，引导他去找出最适合他的学习方法，鼓励他按自己的方式来安排自己的学习和休息才是正确的做法。和他聊完我打给我妈：“一定要记着要放下自己的控制欲，多想想，或许通过询问来激励孩子，鼓励他，相信他的潜力，比对他各种行为方式指指点点一定要按你说的来效果更好吧。”

The essence of management is to motivate people, rather than constraint them. “I believe in you” is one of the most powerful words in the world. Believe in the potential in us and people around us. Do not judge, coach them, and they will grow.

管理的本质是激励人而不是束缚人。“ 我相信你”这句话是这个世界上最有力量的一句话。尤其是父母对子女说这句话，激发的力量是无穷的。我们要多学着相信自己和周围人的潜力，少评价，多引导， 这样我们和我们周围的人才能成为更好的自己。