1. Increased, decreased, declined 这些上升和下降的词都没有被动语态
2. The proportion of 后面不能加句子,譬如说 the proportion of people worked in the healthcare sector是错的,要写成the proportion of people who worked in the healthcare sector
3. The amount不能替换the number; the number of后面一定要加可数名词复数
4. 结尾句用in general
5. 说人年龄的时候应该是aged,譬如说people aged from 15 to 24
6. While, whereas一定要连接两个独立的句子,不能够单独存在
7. While 一般用于两个不同东西的对比,很少用于描述一个对象自己的上升和下降