Today is the sixth day of the national holiday and I came back from hometown yesterday night. I spent 3 days at home and such a short period drove me crazy. My parents nagged me and they argued all the time. I really couldn’t tolerate such an annoying family atmosphere and I didn’t want to stay at home one more minute. I was more like escaping from home instead of leaving home. I feel I’m farther and farther from my family and I’m less and less patience with them. I pay no heed to what they say and I always want to end the conversation quickly.

Now, I’m really scared about the long holiday. I’ll be aimless facing with the holiday. I always arrange so many tasks during the holiday but I always couldn’t finish these tasks which will make me more self-condemned. There are still several tasks I haven’t set about to do.

I attended one wedding ceremony with my girlfriend yesterday. It was a ceremony combined with Chinese traditional wedding and the modern style. To be honest, I really hated the so-called wedding traditions which are filled with sex implications. The new couples and their parents were tricked by the host and the guests. I believe most of the young couples hate such a wedding ceremony but they couldn’t obey their parents’ wills. How pathetic we are. Our parents decide who we should marry and when we follow their idea, they’ll continue to control our wedding. But the fact is that they control most of our things from the time we were born. My contradictions with my family result from their intervention into my life. I have my plan but they always use their old pattern to judge whether my decision was right or wrong. My parents still complain that I didn’t get the master’s degree until now and they’ll compare me with the peers who earn more than me. I always argued with them when they mentioned these things a few years ago but now, I choose to be silent when they repeat such complainments again and again.

I’m aware I should take some responsibility for such a bad relationship, but I’m really tired and sad in such a relationship and never want to devote to it anymore.