Ⅳ 群鸦的盛宴 Chapter22 艾莉亚

ARYA

每晚睡觉前，她都会对着枕头喃喃祈祷。“格雷果爵士，”祷词由此开始，“邓森，‘甜嘴’拉夫，伊林爵士，马林爵士，瑟曦太后。”假如她知道河渡口佛雷家人的名字，也会念出来的。有朝一日我会知道，她告诉自己，然后把他们全杀光。

Each night before sleep, she murmured her prayer into her pillow. “Ser Gregor,” it went. “Dunsen, Raff the Sweetling, Ser Ilyn, Ser Meryn, Queen Cersei.” She would have whispered the names of the Freys of the Crossing too, if she had known them. One day I’ll know, she told herself, and then I’ll kill them all.

在黑白之院中，再怎么放低声音也会被人听见。“孩子，”那个慈祥的人某天说，“你每晚轻声念的那些名字是谁？”

No whisper was too faint to be heard in the House of Black and White. “Child,” said the kindly man one day, “what are those names you whisper of a night?”

“我没念什么名字。”她说。

“I don’t whisper any names,” she said.

“你撒谎”，他说，“人们害怕时都会撒谎。只不过有些人撒得多，有些人撒得少，更有些人只是在重复一个大谎言，直到自己也几乎相信那是真的……但他们心中某个角落始终明白，谎言依旧是谎言，而这会在脸上表露出来。告诉我那些名字。”

“You lie,” he said. “All men lie when they are afraid. Some tell many lies, some but a few. Some have only one great lie they tell so often that they almost come to believe it … though some small part of them will always know that it is still a lie, and that will show upon their faces. Tell me of these names.”

她咬紧嘴唇，“名字不重要。”

She chewed her lip. “The names don’t matter.”

“很重要，”慈祥的人坚持，“告诉我，孩子。”

“They do,” the kindly man insisted. “Tell me, child.”

不说就把你赶出去，她听得懂言下之意。“我恨他们，我要他们死。”

Tell me, or we will turn you out, she heard. “They’re people I hate. I want them to die.”

“在这栋房子里，有许多这样的祈祷。”

“We hear many such prayers in this House.”

“我知道。”艾莉亚说。贾昆·赫加尔曾给了她三个愿望。我只需凑在他耳边低语……

“I know,” said Arya. Jaqen H’ghar had granted three of her prayers once. All I had to do was whisper …

“这就是你来我们这儿的原因？”慈祥的人续道，“来学习我们的技艺，好杀死这些你仇恨的人？”

“Is that why you have come to us?” the kindly man went on. “To learn our arts, so you may kill these men you hate?”

艾莉亚不知如何回答：“也许吧。”

Arya did not know how to answer that. “Maybe.”

“你找错了地方。生死并非你所能决定，只有千面之神才能恩赐。我们不过是他的仆人，发誓代表他的意愿行事。”

“Then you have come to the wrong place. It is not for you to say who shall live and who shall die. That gift belongs to Him of Many Faces. We are but his servants, sworn to do his will.”

“噢。”艾莉亚扫了一眼沿墙立着的雕像，蜡烛在它们脚边闪烁。“他是哪一个神呀？”

“Oh.” Arya glanced at the statues that stood along the walls, candles glimmering round their feet. “Which god is he?”

“啊，所有的都是。”穿黑白长袍的牧师道。

“Why, all of them,” said the priest in black and white.

他从没把自己的名字告诉她，那流浪儿也没有。流浪儿眼睛大，脸颊凹陷，让她想起另一个叫黄鼠狼的小女孩。跟艾莉亚一样，她也住在神庙里，庙中还有三个侍僧、两个仆人和厨师乌玛。乌玛喜欢边干活边讲话，但她说的艾莉亚一个字也听不懂。其他人没有名字，或不愿公开姓名。有一位仆人年纪太大，背驼得像把弓；另一位红脸孔，耳朵里长出毛发。她原以为他俩是哑巴，直到听见他们祈祷。侍僧们比较年轻，最大的跟她父亲年龄相仿，其他两位比她姐姐珊莎大不了多少，他们也穿黑白长袍，却没有兜帽，而且左黑右白——跟慈祥的人和流浪儿正好相反。他们拿仆人的衣服给艾莉亚穿：未经染色的羊毛上衣，松垮的长裤，麻布内衣，布拖鞋。

He never told her his name. Neither did the waif, the little girl with the big eyes and hollow face who reminded her of another little girl, named Weasel. Like Arya, the waif lived below the temple, along with three acolytes, two serving men, and a cook called Umma. Umma liked to talk as she worked, but Arya could not understand a word she said. The others had no names, or did not choose to share them. One serving man was very old, his back bent like a bow. The second was red-faced, with hair growing from his ears. She took them both for mutes until she heard them praying. The acolytes were younger. The eldest was her father’s age; the other two could not have been much older than Sansa, who had been her sister. The acolytes wore black and white too, but their robes had no cowls, and were black on the left side and white on the right. With the kindly man and the waif, it was the opposite. Arya was given servant’s garb: a tunic of undyed wool, baggy breeches, linen smallclothes, cloth slippers for her feet.

只有慈祥的人懂得通用语。“你是谁？”他每天都问她。

Only the kindly man knew the Common Tongue. “Who are you?” he would ask her every day.

“无名之辈。”她回答。她本是史塔克家族的艾莉亚，“捣蛋鬼”艾莉亚，“马脸”艾莉亚，后来，变成了阿利和黄鼠狼，乳鸽与阿盐，侍酒娜娜，也曾是灰老鼠、绵羊和赫伦堡的鬼魂……但在内心深处，这些都不是她的真名。在她心中，她始终是临冬城的艾莉亚，艾德·史塔克公爵和凯特琳夫人的女儿，她的兄弟是罗柏、布兰和瑞肯，她还有姐姐珊莎和冰原狼娜梅莉亚，还有同父异母的哥哥琼恩·雪诺。在她心中，她有名有姓……但那并非他想听的答案。

“No one,” she would answer, she who had been Arya of House Stark, Arya Underfoot, Arya Horseface. She had been Arry and Weasel too, and Squab and Salty, Nan the cupbearer, a grey mouse, a sheep, the ghost of Harrenhal … but not for true, not in her heart of hearts. In there she was Arya of Winterfell, the daughter of Lord Eddard Stark and Lady Catelyn, who had once had brothers named Robb and Bran and Rickon, a sister named Sansa, a direwolf called Nymeria, a half brother named Jon Snow. In there she was someone … but that was not the answer that he wanted.

由于语言不通，艾莉亚无法与其他人交流，但她干活时注意聆听他们讲话，并私下重复听到的词语。最年轻的侍僧是盲人，却负责掌管蜡烛，每天穿着柔软的拖鞋在神庙中走动，前来祈祷的老妇人们在他身边喃喃低语。即便眼睛看不见，他总能知道哪些蜡烛熄灭了哪些需要重新点燃。“气味引导着他，”慈祥的人解释，“而且蜡烛燃烧的地方空气比较温暖。”他让艾莉亚闭上眼睛自己体会。

Without a common language, Arya had no way of talking to the others. She listened to them, though, and repeated the words she heard to herself as she went about her work. Though the youngest acolyte was blind, he had charge of the candles. He would walk the temple in soft slippers, surrounded by the murmurings of the old women who came each day to pray. Even without eyes, he always knew which candles had gone out. “He has the scent to guide him,” the kindly man explained, “and the air is warmer where a candle burns.” He told Arya to close her eyes and try it for herself.

黎明时分，早饭之前，他们跪在平静的黑水池边祈祷。有些天由慈祥的人领头，其余时候则由流浪儿领头。艾莉亚只懂得一点点布拉佛斯语，那些跟高等瓦雷利亚语相同的词汇，因此她向千面之神祈祷时念自己的祷词，也即“格雷果爵士，邓森，‘甜嘴’拉夫，伊林爵士，马林爵士，瑟曦太后。”她默默祈祷，心想假如千面之神才是真正灵验的神，他应该会听取她的。

They prayed at dawn before they broke their fast, kneeling around the still, black pool. Some days the kindly man led the prayer. Other days it was the waif. Arya only knew a few words of Braavosi, the ones that were the same in High Valyrian. So she prayed her own prayer to the Many-Faced God, the one that went, “Ser Gregor, Dunsen, Raff the Sweetling, Ser Ilyn, Ser Meryn, Queen Cersei.” She prayed in silence. If the Many-Faced God was a proper god, he would hear her.

每天都有敬拜者来黑白之院，其中大多数人独行独坐，点燃祭坛上的蜡烛，在水池边祈祷，有时还会哭泣。有人用黑杯子舀水喝，然后去睡觉，更多人则不喝水。这里没有仪式，没有颂歌，没有神的赞美诗，也从不拥挤。偶而，敬拜者会求见牧师，慈祥的人或流浪儿便带他去下面的圣室，但那并不多见。

Worshipers came to the House of Black and White every day. Most came alone and sat alone; they lit candles at one altar or another, prayed beside the pool, and sometimes wept. A few drank from the black cup and went to sleep; more did not drink. There were no services, no songs, no paeans of praise to please the god. The temple was never full. From time to time, a worshiper would ask to see a priest, and the kindly man or the waif would take him down into the sanctum, but that did not happen often.

三十尊不同的神像沿墙站立，被点点烛光环绕。艾莉亚发现“泣妇”是老妇人的最爱，而富翁偏爱“夜狮”，穷人崇拜“兜帽行者”，士兵会在“巴卡隆”，也即“苍白圣童”的祭坛前点燃蜡烛，水手的对象是“淡月处女”和“人鱼王”。她还惊奇地看见了陌客的祭坛，虽然几乎没人去那里。大多时候，只有一支蜡烛在陌客脚边闪烁。慈祥的人说这没关系，“他有许多张脸孔，有许多聆听的耳朵。”

Thirty different gods stood along the walls, surrounded by their little lights. The Weeping Woman was the favorite of old women, Arya saw; rich men preferred the Lion of Night, poor men the Hooded Wayfarer. Soldiers lit candles to Bakkalon, the Pale Child, sailors to the Moon-Pale Maiden and the Merling King. The Stranger had his shrine as well, though hardly anyone ever came to him. Most of the time only a single candle stood flickering at his feet. The kindly man said it did not matter. “He has many faces, and many ears to hear.”

神庙所在的小山丘内部开凿了无数隧道。牧师和侍僧的卧室在第一层，艾莉亚和仆人睡第二层。最底下一层除了牧师，其他人禁止入内，那是圣室所在。

The knoll on which the temple stood was honeycombed with passageways hewn from the rock. The priests and acolytes had their sleeping cells on the first level, Arya and the servants on the second. The lowest level was forbidden to all save the priests. That was where the holy sanctum lay.

每当她不干活时，便可以随意在地窖和库房间走动，只要不离开神庙或下去第三层。她找到一间满是武器防具的屋子：釉彩头盔、奇特而古老的胸甲、长剑、匕首、小刀，还有十字弓和镶嵌叶形尖头的长矛。另一间地窖塞满了衣服，包括厚厚的裘皮，五颜六色的艳丽丝绸，边上却堆着臭烘烘的破烂袍子和脱线的粗布衫。一定有藏宝室，艾莉亚断定。她想象着一叠叠金盘子，一袋袋银币，海一般的蓝宝石，绿色大珍珠串成绳子。

When she was not working, Arya was free to wander as she would amongst the vaults and storerooms, so long as she did not leave the temple, nor descend to the third cellar. She found a room full of weapons and armor: ornate helms and curious old breastplates, longswords, daggers, and dirks, crossbows and tall spears with leaf-shaped heads. Another vault was crammed with clothing, thick furs and splendid silks in half a hundred colors, next to piles of foul-smelling rags and threadbare roughspuns. There must be treasure chambers too, Arya decided. She pictured stacks of golden plates, bags of silver coins, sapphires blue as the sea, ropes of fat green pearls.

某天，慈祥的人出乎意料地出现在她面前，问她在干什么。她说自己迷路了。

One day the kindly man came on her unexpectedly and asked what she was doing. She told him that she had gotten lost.

“你撒谎。更糟的是，你撒谎的水平很差。你是谁？”

“You lie. Worse, you lie poorly. Who are you?”

“无名之辈。”

“No one.”

“又一个谎言。”他叹口气。

“Another lie.” He sighed.

威斯如果逮到她说谎，就会狠狠揍她，但黑白之院中的规矩不同。她帮厨时若是碍手碍脚，乌玛会拿勺子敲她，除此之外，其他人从不动手。他们只杀人，她心想。

Weese would have beaten her bloody if he had caught her in a lie, but it was different in the House of Black and White. When she was helping in the kitchen, Umma would sometimes smack her with her spoon if she got in the way, but no one else ever raised a hand to her. They only raise their hands to kill, she thought.

总的来说，她跟厨师关系不错。乌玛将小刀塞入她手中，然后指指洋葱，艾莉亚就会去切；乌玛把她推到生面团跟前，艾莉亚就开始揉，直到厨师叫停（“停”是她在神庙里学会的第一个布拉佛斯词汇）；乌玛交给她鱼，艾莉亚就剔骨切片，并将厨师碾碎的干果卷在里面。布拉佛斯周围的鱼类和贝壳海腥味太重，慈祥的人不喜欢，但有一条棕色和缓的河流从南面注入大礁湖，途中蜿蜒穿越一大片芦苇、潮水坑、泥沼和浅滩，那里所产的大量蛤蜊扇贝，包括蚌壳、麝香鱼、青蛙、乌龟、泥蟹、花蟹、攀缘蟹、红鳗、黑鳗、条纹鳗，七鳃鳗和牡蛎等等，全是千面之神的仆人们就餐的雕花木桌上经常出现的食物。有些晚上，乌玛用海盐和碎胡椒子烧鱼，或用蒜末煮鳗，偶尔甚至会加一点藏红花。热派会喜欢上这里的，艾莉亚心想。

She got along well enough with the cook. Umma would slap a knife into her hand and point at an onion, and Arya would chop it. Umma would shove her toward a mound of dough, and Arya would knead it until the cook said stop (stop was the first Braavosi word she learned). Umma would hand her a fish, and Arya would bone it and fillet it and roll it in the nuts the cook was crushing. The brackish waters that surrounded Braavos teemed with fish and shellfish of every sort, the kindly man explained. A slow brown river entered the lagoon from the south, wandering through a wide expanse of reeds, tidal pools, and mudflats. Clams and cockles abounded hereabouts; mussels and muskfish, frogs and turtles, mud crabs and leopard crabs and climber crabs, red eels, black eels, striped eels, lampreys, and oysters; all made frequent appearances on the carved wooden table where the servants of the Many-Faced God took their meals. Some nights Umma spiced the fish with sea salt and cracked peppercorns, or cooked the eels with chopped garlic. Once in a great while the cook would even use some saffron. Hot Pie would have liked it here, Arya thought.

她喜欢晚餐时间，因为之前无穷岁月里似乎都是饿着肚子入睡的。有些晚上，慈祥的人允许她问问题。某回，她问他，为什么来神庙里的人总显得如此平静，而她家乡的人却贪生怕死。她记得将匕首插入疙瘩脸的侍从肚子时，他如何哭泣；她记得“山羊”把亚摩利·洛奇爵士扔进熊坑时，他如何乞求；她记得神眼湖边，每当“记事本”开始询问金子的去向，村民们如何嗷嗷怪叫，屎尿齐流。

Supper was her favorite time. It had been a long while since Arya had gone to sleep every night with a full belly. Some nights the kindly man would allow her to ask him questions. Once she asked him why the people who came to the temple always seemed so peaceful; back home, people were scared to die. She remembered how that pimply squire had wept when she stabbed him in the belly, and the way Ser Amory Lorch had begged when the Goat had him thrown in the bear pit. She remembered the village by the God’s Eye, and the way the villagers shrieked and screamed and whimpered whenever the Tickler started asking after gold.

“从某种意义上说，死亡不是坏事，”慈祥的人回答，“它是神恩赐的礼物，以终止我们的渴望，同时也终结痛苦。每个人出生那天，千面之神都会派来一位黑天使，在我们身边终生相伴。当我们的罪孽变得太过深重，当我们的苦难变得难以承受，这位天使便会牵起我们的手，带领我们前往黑夜之地，那里的星星永远明亮闪耀。用黑杯子喝水的人正是来寻找他们的天使，蜡烛使他们平静。说说，当你闻到我们的蜡烛时，想了些什么，孩子？”

“Death is not the worst thing,” the kindly man replied. “It is His gift to us, an end to want and pain. On the day that we are born the Many-Faced God sends each of us a dark angel to walk through life beside us. When our sins and our sufferings grow too great to be borne, the angel takes us by the hand to lead us to the nightlands, where the stars burn ever bright. Those who come to drink from the black cup are looking for their angels. If they are afraid, the candles soothe them. When you smell our candles burning, what does it make you think of, my child?”

临冬城，她差点说出口，我闻到雪、松针和热腾腾的肉汤。我闻到马厩。我闻到阿多的笑声，闻到琼恩和罗柏在院子里打斗，闻到珊莎在唱歌，歌唱某位美丽的笨蛋淑女。我闻到坐着无数国王石像的墓窖，我闻到热乎乎的烤面包，我闻到神木林。我闻到我的狼，闻到她的毛皮，仿佛她仍在我身边。“我什么也没闻到。”她想听听他的评论。

Winterfell, she might have said. I smell snow and smoke and pine needles. I smell the stables. I smell Hodor laughing, and Jon and Robb battling in the yard, and Sansa singing about some stupid lady fair. I smell the crypts where the stone kings sit, I smell hot bread baking, I smell the godswood. I smell my wolf, I smell her fur, almost as if she were still beside me. “I don’t smell anything,” she said, to see what he would say.

“你撒谎，”他说，“但只要你愿意，你可以保留自己的秘密，史塔克家族的艾莉亚。”只有当艾莉亚惹他不高兴时，他才会如此称呼她。“你也可以离开此地。你不是我们的一员，现在还不是。你任何时候都可以回家。”

“You lie,” he said, “but you may keep your secrets if you wish, Arya of House Stark.” He only called her that when she displeased him. “You know that you may leave this place. You are not one of us, not yet. You may go home anytime you wish.”

“你告诉我，假如离开，就不能再回来。”

“You told me that if I left, I couldn’t come back.”

“就是这样。”

“Just so.”

这句回答让她很伤感。这是西里欧的口头禅，艾莉亚记得，“就是这样”。西里欧·佛瑞尔不仅教她使用缝衣针，还为她而死。“我不想离开。”

Those words made her sad. Syrio used to say that too, Arya remembered. He said it all the time. Syrio Forel had taught her needlework and died for her. “I don’t want to leave.”

“那就留下吧……但是请记得，别把黑白之院当孤儿收容所。在这座神庙的屋檐下，所有人的职责都是侍奉，明白吗？Valar dohaeris。我们要求你服从，任何时间，任何事情，都必须服从。如果做不到，就请离开。”

“Then stay … but remember, the House of Black and White is not a home for orphans. All men must serve beneath this roof. Valar dohaeris is how we say it here. Remain if you will, but know that we shall require your obedience. At all times and in all things. If you cannot obey, you must depart.”

“我会服从的。”

“I can obey.”

“我们走着瞧。”

“We shall see.”

除了帮乌玛，她也被分配别的任务：打扫地板，端菜倒酒，整理一摞摞死人的衣衫，倒空他们的钱袋，清点古怪的硬币等等。每天早晨，她都走在慈祥的人身边，在神庙中巡视，寻找死者。静如影，她告诉自己，一边想起了西里欧。她提着一盏有厚厚铁隔板的灯笼，每到一个空穴，她都会将隔板掀开一条缝，借助光亮寻找死尸。

She had other tasks besides helping Umma. She swept the temple floors; she served and poured at meals; she sorted piles of dead men’s clothing, emptied their purses, and counted out stacks of queer coins. Every morning she walked beside the kindly man as he made his circuit of the temple to find the dead. Silent as a shadow, she would tell herself, remembering Syrio. She carried a lantern with thick iron shutters. At each alcove, she would open the shutter a crack, to look for corpses.

死者很多。他们来黑白之院祈祷，或者一小时，或者一天，或者一年，喝下池子里甜甜的黑水，然后平躺在某个神像背后的石床上，闭上眼睛睡觉，再也不会醒来。“千面之神的恩赐有无数形式，”慈祥的人告诉她，“但在这里，总是最温和最仁慈的方式。”每当找到尸体，他会先说一句祷词，确认生命已经消逝后，派艾莉亚去叫仆人，他们的任务则是将尸体抬到下面的地窖。侍僧将在那里脱下死尸的衣服，并把尸体清洗干净。死者的衣服、钱币及贵重物品放进箱子，准备分类，冰冷的血肉则被带到更下面的圣室中，只有牧师能进去，艾莉亚不清楚那里面会发生些什么。某次吃晚餐时，一个可怕的念头忽然进入她脑海，她连忙放下刀子，怀疑地瞪着一块苍白的肉。慈祥的人察觉到她脸上的惊恐。“是猪肉，孩子，”他说，“猪肉而已。”

The dead were never hard to find. They came to the House of Black and White, prayed for an hour or a day or a year, drank sweet dark water from the pool, and stretched out on a stone bed behind one god or another. They closed their eyes, and slept, and never woke. “The gift of the Many-Faced God takes myriad forms,” the kindly man told her, “but here it is always gentle.” When they found a body he would say a prayer and make certain life had fled, and Arya would fetch the serving men, whose task it was to carry the dead down to the vaults. There acolytes would strip and wash the bodies. The dead men’s clothes and coins and valuables went into a bin for sorting. Their cold flesh would be taken to the lower sanctum where only the priests could go; what happened in there Arya was not allowed to know. Once, as she was eating her supper, a terrible suspicion seized hold of her, and she put down her knife and stared suspiciously at a slice of pale white meat. The kindly man saw the horror on her face. “It is pork, child,” he told her, “only pork.”

她睡的也是石床，这让她想起在赫伦堡威斯手下擦洗阶梯时睡的那张床，不过这张床塞的是破布，不是稻草，跟赫伦堡的比起来不太平整，却也少了刺人的烦恼。此外，她想要多少被单都行：厚厚的羊毛毯，红色、绿色，花格子，而且房间只属于她一人。她将自己的物品掏出来整理：泰坦之女号上的水手们给的银叉、软帽和无指手套，她的匕首、靴子、皮带，卖马以来一路存下的少许钱财，穿的衣服……

Her bed was stone, and reminded her of Harrenhal and the bed she’d slept in when scrubbing steps for Weese. The mattress was stuffed with rags instead of straw, which made it lumpier than the one she’d had at Harrenhal, but less scratchy too. She was allowed as many blankets as she wished; thick woolen blankets, red and green and plaid. And her cell was hers alone. She kept her treasures there: the silver fork and floppy hat and fingerless gloves given her by the sailors on the Titan’s Daughter, her dagger, boots, and belt, her small store of coins, the clothes she had been wearing …

还有缝衣针。

And Needle.

尽管工作繁忙，她仍尽量抽出时间练习缝衣针，就着一根青烛的光亮与自己的影子打斗。某天晚上，流浪儿碰巧经过，看到艾莉亚在舞剑，一个字也没说，然而第二天，慈祥的人便来到艾莉亚的房间。“统统处理掉。”他指着她的物品说。

Though her duties left her little time for needlework, she practiced when she could, dueling with her shadow by the light of a blue candle. One night the waif happened to be passing and saw Arya at her swordplay. The girl did not say a word, but the next day, the kindly man walked Arya back to her cell. “You need to rid yourself of all this,” he said of her treasures.

艾莉亚深受打击，“它们是我的。”

Arya felt stricken. “They’re mine.”

“那你是谁？”

“And who are you?”

“无名之辈。”

“No one.”

他拿起她的银叉。“这个属于史塔克家族的艾莉亚。所有这些都属于她。这里没有它们的位置，没有她的位置。她的名字太骄傲，而我们容不下骄傲。我们的职责是侍奉。”

He picked up her silver fork. “This belongs to Arya of House Stark. All these things belong to her. There is no place for them here. There is no place for her. Hers is too proud a name, and we have no room for pride. We are servants here.”

“我愿意侍奉。”她感觉受了伤害。她挺喜欢那把银叉。

“I serve,” she said, wounded. She liked the silver fork.

“你装作侍奉，内心仍是领主之女。你用过许多名字，犹如轻飘飘换上几件长袍，但那长袍底下始终是艾莉亚。”

“You play at being a servant, but in your heart you are a lord’s daughter. You have taken other names, but you wore them as lightly as you might wear a gown. Under them was always Arya.”

“我不穿长袍。穿着笨长袍没法战斗。”

“I don’t wear gowns. You can’t fight in a stupid gown.”

“为什么你要战斗？你羡慕那些招摇过市、渴望鲜血的刺客？”他叹口气。“啜饮冷杯之前，你必须将一切都奉献给千面之神。你的身体。你的灵魂。你自己。要是无法做到，就必须离开此地。”

“Why would you wish to fight? Are you some bravo, strutting through the alleys, spoiling for blood?” He sighed. “Before you drink from the cold cup, you must offer up all you are to Him of Many Faces. Your body. Your soul. Yourself. If you cannot bring yourself to do that, you must leave this place.”

“那枚铁币——”

“The iron coin—”

“——支付了你来此的旅资。从此往后，你必须自己付账，而且代价不菲。”

“—has paid your passage here. From this point you must pay your own way, and the cost is dear.”

“我没金子。”

“I don’t have any gold.”

“我们提供的东西无法用金钱买到。代价是你的一切。世上的凡人，一生中经由不同路径穿越泪水与痛苦的峡谷，而我们选择的道路最为艰辛，只有极少数人能做到。它需要非凡的体力与精神，需要一颗坚强的心。”

“What we offer cannot be bought with gold. The cost is all of you. Men take many paths through this vale of tears and pain. Ours is the hardest. Few are made to walk it. It takes uncommon strength of body and spirit, and a heart both hard and strong.”

我的心之所在是个空洞，她心想，而且我无处可去。“我很强壮。跟你一样强壮。我也够坚强。”

I have a hole where my heart should be, she thought, and nowhere else to go. “I’m strong. As strong as you. I’m hard.”

“你相信这是唯一的去处。”他仿佛听到她的想法，“你错了。你可以在商贾人家找到轻松的职位；或者，你希望成为交际花，让人们歌颂你的美丽吗？只需说出来，我们就送你去找黑珍珠或幽暗之女。从此，你将睡在玫瑰花瓣上，走路时丝裙婆娑，老爷贵人们会为你的处女之血而低声下气；再或，若你想结婚生子，我们会为你找个丈夫。诚实可靠的小学徒，富裕的老人，海员，不管你要什么样的都行。”

“You believe this is the only place for you.” It was as if he’d heard her thoughts. “You are wrong in that. You would find softer service in the household of some merchant. Or would you sooner be a courtesan, and have songs sung of your beauty? Speak the word, and we will send you to the Black Pearl or the Daughter of the Dusk. You will sleep on rose petals and wear silken skirts that rustle when you walk, and great lords will beggar themselves for your maiden’s blood. Or if it is marriage and children you desire, tell me, and we shall find a husband for you. Some honest apprentice boy, a rich old man, a seafarer, whatever you desire.”

这些她都不想要，于是默默摇头。

She wanted none of that. Wordless, she shook her head.

“你不是梦想着维斯特洛吗，孩子？卢科·普莱斯坦的‘光明女士号’明日起程，将依次停靠海鸥镇、暮谷城、君临和泰洛西。我们可以设法让你搭乘。”

“Is it Westeros you dream of, child? Luco Prestayn’s Lady Bright leaves upon the morrow, for Gulltown, Duskendale, King’s Landing, and Tyrosh. Shall we find you passage on her?”

“我才刚从维斯特洛过来呢。”有时候，逃离君临似乎是一千年前的往事，而有时候，却犹如发生于昨天，世态炎凉历历在目。她知道自己回不了家。“你不要我，我就走，但我不回去。”

“I only just came from Westeros.” Sometimes it seemed a thousand years since she had fled King’s Landing, and sometimes it seemed like only yesterday, but she knew she could not go back. “I’ll go if you don’t want me, but I won’t go there.”

“我要不要你并没有什么关系，”慈祥的人道，“也许是千面之神指引你来的，但我眼中的你只是一个小孩……更糟糕的是，你还是一个小女孩。千百年来，许多人侍奉过千面之神，但他的仆人中很少有女性。这难怪。女人将生命带来世间。我们赐予的则是死亡。无人可以两者兼顾。”

“My wants do not matter,” said the kindly man. “It may be that the Many-Faced God has led you here to be His instrument, but when I look at you I see a child … and worse, a girl child. Many have served Him of Many Faces through the centuries, but only a few of His servants have been women. Women bring life into the world. We bring the gift of death. No one can do both.”

他想吓唬我，艾莉亚心想，就像上次用尸虫一样。“这些我不担心。”

He is trying to scare me away, Arya thought, the way he did with the worm. “I don’t care about that.”

“你应该要担心。若留下来，千面之神将会占有你的耳朵、你的鼻子、你的舌头和你悲伤的灰眼晴，那双见识过世态炎凉的眼睛；他也将占有你的手，你的脚，你的胳膊，你的腿，你的私处，你的希望和梦想，你的爱与恨。侍奉他的人首先必须放弃自我。你能做到吗？”他捧起她的下巴，注视进她的眼睛，眼神如此深邃，令她打了个冷战。“不，”他说，“我想你做不到。”

“You should. Stay, and the Many-Faced God will take your ears, your nose, your tongue. He will take your sad grey eyes that have seen so much. He will take your hands, your feet, your arms and legs, your private parts. He will take your hopes and dreams, your loves and hates. Those who enter His service must give up all that makes them who they are. Can you do that?” He cupped her chin and gazed deep into her eyes, so deep it made her shiver. “No,” he said, “I do not think you can.”

艾莉亚推开他的手，“我只要愿意就能做到！”

Arya knocked his hand away. “I could if I wanted to.”

“吃虫子的女孩，史塔克家族的艾莉亚如是说。”

“So says Arya of House Stark, eater of grave worms.”

“我可以放弃一切！”

“I can give up anything I want!”

他朝她的物品比画了一下，“那么，就从这些开始。”

He gestured at her treasures. “Then start with these.”

当晚晚餐过后，艾莉亚回到房间，脱下长袍，轻声念叨那串名字，睡眠却拒绝降临。她在塞满破布的床上辗转反侧，咬紧嘴唇，感觉到本该是心之所在的那个空洞。

That night after supper, Arya went back to her cell and took off her robe and whispered her names, but sleep refused to take her. She tossed on her mattress stuffed with rags, gnawing on her lip. She could feel the hole inside her where her heart had been.

于是她在漆黑的半夜起身，披上从维斯特洛穿来的衣服，扣好剑带。缝衣针悬在一侧，匕首插在另一侧。她头戴软帽，无指手套塞进剑带，手握银叉，小心翼翼地爬上楼梯。这里不是史塔克家族的艾莉亚容身之处，她心想。艾莉亚的家在临冬城，但临冬城早已不复存在。当大雪降下，冷风吹起，独行狼死，群聚狼生。然而她没有了狼群，他们都被杀掉了，被伊林爵士、马林爵士和太后这些坏人，后来，她试图寻找新的狼群，结果那些人统统离开了她，热派，詹德利，尤伦，“绿手”罗米，甚至父亲的旧部哈尔温。她推开门，步入黑夜。

In the black of night she rose again, donned the clothes she’d worn from Westeros, and buckled on her swordbelt. Needle hung from one hip, her dagger from the other. With her floppy hat on her head, her fingerless gloves tucked into her belt, and her silver fork in one hand, she went stealing up the steps. There is no place here for Arya of House Stark, she was thinking. Arya’s place was Winterfell, only Winterfell was gone. When the snows fall and the white winds blow, the lone wolf dies, but the pack survives. She had no pack, though. They had killed her pack, Ser Ilyn and Ser Meryn and the queen, and when she tried to make a new one all of them ran off, Hot Pie and Gendry and Yoren and Lommy Greenhands, even Harwin, who had been her father’s man. She shoved through the doors, out into the night.

自来到神庙以来，这是她第一次出门。天色阴霾，迷雾笼罩，仿佛破旧的灰毯子。右边水道中传来划桨声。布拉佛斯，秘之城，她心想，名字取得很恰当。她静悄悄地走下陡峭的阶梯，来到带顶篷的码头，雾气在脚下盘旋，浓得看不清水面，只听见水波轻轻拍打石桩。一点亮光在远处的黑暗中闪耀，那是红袍僧神庙中的夜火。

It was the first time she had been outside since entering the temple. The sky was overcast, and fog covered the ground like a frayed grey blanket. Off to her right she heard paddling from the canal. Braavos, the Secret City, she thought. The name seemed very apt. She crept down the steep steps to the covered dock, the mists swirling round her feet. It was so foggy she could not see the water, but she heard it lapping softly at stone pilings. In the distance, a light glowed through the gloom: the nightfire at the temple of the red priests, she thought.

她在水边停下，手握银叉。它是货真价实的纯银制品。这并非我的叉子，是水手给阿盐的。她将叉子轻轻丢出去，听见它“扑通”一声沉入水底。

At the water’s edge she stopped, the silver fork in hand. It was real silver, solid through and through. It’s not my fork. It was Salty that he gave it to. She tossed it underhand, heard the soft plop as it sank below the water.

接着是软帽和手套，它们也属于阿盐。她将钱袋在掌心里倒空：五枚银鹿，九枚铜星，还有一些零零碎碎的散钱。她把它们统统撒入水中。然后是那双靴子，它们发出的溅水声最响。接着是匕首，这是她从一个弓箭手身上得来的，他曾乞求猎狗给予慈悲。剑带也进了水道。斗篷、上衣、马裤，内衣，所有的一切。除了缝衣针。

Her floppy hat went next, then the gloves. They were Salty’s too. She emptied her pouch into her palm; five silver stags, nine copper stars, some pennies and halfpennies and groats. She scattered them across the water. Next her boots. They made the loudest splashes. Her dagger followed, the one she’d gotten off the archer who had begged the Hound for mercy. Her swordbelt went into the canal. Her cloak, tunic, breeches, smallclothes, all of it. All but Needle.