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Your 31- and 32-month-old: Milestones and development

Karen Miles

By Karen Miles | Dec 3, 2020

If "No!" is your 2-year-olds's favorite word, try giving her plenty of choices to otherwise assert her free will. She's developing a basic sense of time, so refer to it when you can ("Leaving in five minutes!"). She's old enough to learn some basic manners now, so model consideration. Provide props for her pretend play, help her burn off energy with physical games, and indulge in rhymes to help boost her language development. She'll still benefit from an afternoon nap, so make an effort to make one happen. And provide extra TLC when you see signs that she's stressed.

young boy smiling at the park

Photo credit: iStock.com / monkeybusinessimages

IN THIS ARTICLE

Let's get physical

Rain or shine, hectic day or slow one, your busy tot wakes up with boundless energy to work off. Playtime should include physical games that help her burn off energy and practice her skills such as balancing, catching a ball, and controlling her speed. Some fun physical games:

Follow the leader. Have your child follow you and imitate the kinds of steps you take. Go fast, then slow. Take big giant steps, then bitty steps. Hop like a kangaroo, leap like a dolphin, and slither like a snake.

Catch. It's a classic that you can adjust to your child's proficiency level. Start by rolling a big ball back and forth on the floor between your open legs. Switch to a smaller ball. Gradually increase the distance between you. Then see if she is ready to catch a big ball thrown underhand; start by standing just a few inches apart.

Danceteria. Play different genres of music and encourage your child to make up a dance that matches it. (All her dances might look the same, but that's irrelevant.)

Bedtime routine

It's easy for a bedtime routine to spiral out of control with an adorable, ritual-loving 2-year-old. Rule of thumb: If the routine is so complicated you have to write it down for a babysitter, it's probably a little overboard. Stick to the basics - a bath, pajamas, a book - and finish off with some special touch your child loves, such as saying goodnight to some of the things in the room (like in Goodnight Moon), singing a favorite lullaby, or reviewing what happened that day. The whole event (after the bath) should take 15 to 20 minutes.

Stress

Most of the time, your 2-year-old is probably a happy kid. But did you know that very young children can get stressed out, too? Common stressors for 2-year-olds include having too many planned activities, the lack of a stable routine, feeling sick, a move, a separation from a beloved caregiver, or the arrival of a new sibling. Some signs a child is feeling pushed or stressed:

She suddenly seems withdrawn and disinterested in things.

There's a change in her personality, especially from sunny to sullen or angry.

She resists when it's time to go play.

She insists she wants to "go home" when you've just arrived at a new place.

Her toilet-training progress seems to regress (daytime accidents after several weeks or months without any, for example).

Give your child extra TLC during stressful times. Reassess what's going on in her life and see if you can put more security and stability back into it. For example, if you think the problem might be too much activity (and all the related rushing and nagging), scale back your plans.

Ignoring misbehavior

Here's a way to break a behavior you don't like, whether it's playing with food, whining, or screaming: Look the other way. Child development experts call this "ignoring to extinction." Sometimes it's your lively annoyed reaction that a child is really after when she misbehaves in a way she knows you don't like.

If you try this strategy, beware: You might first get a so-called "extinction burst," where the behavior escalates for a while. That happens because your child is working all the harder to see if she can get a rise out of you. Keep on ignoring and the behavior is likely to go the way of the dinosaur.

Sense of time

He can't read a watch yet, but your 2-year-old does have a rudimentary sense of time. He knows that yesterday means the past and tomorrow means the future, but to him, yesterday might refer to something that happened earlier this morning or last week.

The way your child marks time is largely through the predictable way his day unfolds. That's another reason (in addition to providing basic security) that routines continue to be so important. He knows that when you go into the kitchen it's almost time for lunch, and that after lunch he'll be at the playground and then take a nap.

Use references to time in your conversation: "In five minutes, we'll leave." "We'll go to the store right after lunch." "After two more bedtimes, we'll leave for our trip." Although your 2-year-old won't exactly understand these time frames the same way you do - that ability doesn't come until second or third grade - you'll be helping him get used to the concepts.

Hand-washing skills

Are you finding that your 2-year-old seems to get dirtier than ever? Mobile and curious, your child finds plenty to get into. Now's a good time to teach proper hand-washing. Make a habit of doing so before every meal; bring a step stool to the sink to help your child reach the faucet. Bar soap can be easier for small, plump hands to use than a pump bottle. Sing a special hand-washing song that lasts at least 20 or 30 seconds while sudsing up to be sure your child cleans up long enough.

The power of "no"

Of all the words your child is picking up this year, it may seem like she has one grand favorite: "NO." What's the attraction? Two-year-olds say "no" a lot because they're discovering their own free will. "No" is a handy way to voice their opinion. (Sometimes they even say "no" when they really mean "yes.") Sometimes a not-very-verbal child will resort to "no" just because she's mad or flustered and struggling to get her point across. Your child may also learn that if she says it loudly and forcefully enough, you pay attention - and even go along with what she wants!

Giving your child choices is one way to reduce the number of no's you hear from her. Also, encourage her to answer in a quiet voice, and coach her in some alternatives: "What's the opposite of 'no'? 'Yes!'" "You can say 'no,' or you can say 'yes,' or guess what's in the middle? You can say 'maybe!'"

Nighttime visits

The switch from crib to bed often ushers in an era of middle-of-the-night visits to your bed. If you're not up for sharing your covers, lead or carry your child back to his bed and bid him a kind but firm goodnight. Don't turn on the lights, don't talk much, don't get emotional or otherwise make it a fun, daytime-like experience. You might have to repeat this routine multiple times before the nightwalker learns to stay in his own bed at night. The key is to be persistent and consistent.

Intro to manners

Your child is definitely old enough to learn - and practice - some of the social graces. Some tips on how to help:

Start with "please" and "thank you." If she hasn't picked up these words naturally, make sure she hears you using them: "Will you please come here?" Don't be afraid to prompt: "Can you say thank you?" Repetition will make these words a habit.

Be kind yourself. Modeling consideration of others will show her the ropes. Let her hear you say, "How are you?" and "Excuse me."

Connect actions to consequences. Help your child see that a gift of flowers can cheer someone up, or that hitting or making mean comments makes the other person sad.

Cut your child some slack when she's ill. Or tired.

Keep your expectations realistic. The right fork to use? Sharing graciously? Fuhgeddaboutit!

Fairy tales

Fairy tales teach important concepts to kids, but you might have never noticed how scary they can be until you start to read them or tell them to your child. Big bad wolves and mean witches who pop children into ovens may sound far more terrifying than you remember.

Should you modify these stories to protect your little one? It depends on your child and the story. Many fairy tales actually teach children to cope with fears (Hansel and Gretel get lost, for example). And in the struggles over good and evil, the good guys always win. If you're really uncomfortable, of course, your child won't know any difference if you change a few words here and there (at least not until your partner or babysitter reads the same story!).

Let's pretend

Pretend play is escalating as your child's third year goes on. A baby doll is no longer just an object to hug but a "real" person with a name, a family, and the need to be fed, bathed, and join your child at tea parties. A towel over your child's back can transform her into a superhero, whose play may now involve a journey or a plot. You might even hear your child narrating her adventures while she plays.

Props help these imagination-building games, but a 2-year-old is still pretty indiscriminate about what they are. A stick is a magic wand, leaves serve as plates, and blocks can become any number of things. It's great fun to watch this creativity in action. You should also provide some toys that feed pretend play, such as simple dress-up costumes (your old shoes, scarves, a tutu) or child-size versions of your tools, such as play phones or miniature brooms. Mimicking household chores is a favorite activity at this age.

Limit scheduled activities

How many activities is the right number, as your child gets older and more interested in the outside world? Most child development experts recommend moderation. A 2-year-old doesn't need more than one or two organized activity outings per week, if that. Nor does she need many formal playdates.

Often working parents prefer their little ones to have fairly structured days so they're not "doing nothing" all day. But at this age, free play, time hanging out with you or a caregiver, and playground outings can comfortably make up the bulk of her day. There's plenty of time down the road for academics, sports, and a busy social scene.

It's rhyme time

A wonderful way to enhance your child's language development is with rhymes. Alliteration, word play, and rhyme tune your child's understanding of subtle differences between words and build vocabulary. They help boost auditory memory, an important pre-reading skill, and develop rhythm, too. The word pictures drawn in familiar rhymes become both fascinating and familiar. Not least, reading and singing rhymes lets your child know that words can be funny and fun!

There's good reason Dr. Seuss books are universal favorites. The vocabularies are simple, but the rhymes are pitch-perfect. In addition to rhyming storybooks, look for books of classic nursery rhymes or books of children's poems. There's a wide variety: counting rhymes, rhymes with finger play, and those with silly tongue twisters. It's also great to sing familiar rhymes, which offers many of the same benefits. (Your pitch doesn't matter in the least.)

Value your free time

Feeling mentally drained by day's end? One way to restore your energy is to reassess your free time. See if there's any "fat" you can cut out of your life. You might find, for example, that now that your child is older you want to spend fewer evenings at committee meetings or in groups you no longer truly have time for. Ask yourself if you have mindless habits that you can ditch because they don't truly refresh you, such as vegging in front of the TV until you fall asleep or compulsive cleaning.

Nap-time strategies

An afternoon nap still helps rambunctious 2-year-olds recharge and stay pleasant till bedtime. So don't be in a hurry to drop naps. If your child skips a nap and is cranky by or before bedtime, that's a sign he still needs daytime sleep. How to encourage sleep in a nap resister?

Use a modified, shorter version of your bedtime routine for consistency's sake.

If your child won't stay in his room, consider a door latch on the outside of the door or a baby gate to let him know it's rest time. (Show him how the latch or gate works and explain its use so he's not frightened.)

If you're able to nap, too, consider lying down together.

If your tot still resists counting sheep, have him stay in his room for "quiet time." Odds are he may fall asleep anyway. If not, the downtime will provide a bit of rest.

Water safety

Your 2-year-old is probably getting bolder (and having more and more fun) around water. You know you must keep an eye on him at all times in pools or other bodies of water, but what about swimming lessons to further boost your peace of mind? Programs that teach little ones to swim abound and can be a terrific way of accustoming a child to water and getting some exercise. Be aware, though, that formal lessons aren't usually recommended until after age 3 because a child younger than that can rarely be taught to swim well enough to be considered water safe.