印度哲学家克里希那穆提曾经说,不带评论的观察是人类智力的最高形式。不带评论的观察是只陈述客观事实,不发表任何评论,不带任何评论字眼,你的话语便不会带任何感情色彩。这就能避免听者产生任何情绪波动,不会给听者造成任何的伤害。
语言是一种向外传递的能量,它不仅是一种信息的传递,更重要的是一种能够作用于听者的能量,特别是带有评论或感情色彩的语言,在听者的心里能产生正面或负面的能量。让人产生悲伤、难过、失望、绝望等负面情绪的语言都可以称为暴力语言。所以非暴力沟通的第一步就是观察,客观的陈述事实,不带任何评论。
但是我认为和任何人都能够沟通顺畅的关键,是把语言当作一种正能量的传播,任何一句话都出自于爱。每一句话都能让人感受到爱,让人温暖,让人感动,这是高手才能达到的沟通效果。这也是所谓的口吐莲花,每说出一句话,都像送出一朵清香的莲花,让人感到沁人心脾。这便是最高境界的沟通。
The famous Indian philosopher Jiddu Krishnamurti once said observation without comments is the most profounding intelligence. Objective statements without comment are just telling the truth, so it won't result in any emotion or hurt any of the audience.
Words can bring you energy, it's not only a kind of information transferring, but also give you the energy that words take, especially words with emotion or comments will bring positive or negative energy to you. Any words that make you feel sad, devastated, disappointed or desperate are called violent words. So the first step of nonvoilent communication is stating the truth without any comments.
However, I have my own point of view on communication. The secret of good communication with anyone is use your language or words as a tool to transfer positive energy to people around you. Make sure every sentence from your mouth originated from love and the person who hear your words feel beloved, warm or moved. And kind words are like flowers which bring you sweet smell and comfort. This is the highest level of communication, I think.
(以上中英对照的音频,可以在喜马拉雅APP中搜索熊文雯,进入我的中英双语频道与Wendy一起完转英语和阅读,进行收听。)