中国人一旦听到不同意见容易跳起来,要一争对错,然后事后也容易忘记。导致别人觉得你是不是有病啊,怎么好像我们没吵过一样?莫非要旧戏重演?还是有其他花招?
丹麦人如果听到不同意见要表达不赞同,一般首先就是放慢语速,O.K...is that so? This is a very interesting view...hmmm...
放慢语速最大一个好处是让自己不要太快有任何评论,而是慢再慢一点来引起对方的注意,让对方意识到自己的不认同。
不认同并不一定要立马争辩出对错的,中国人的always want to say the last word在丹麦人看来就是找事。
结合之前的表达悲伤,比如在大林说:你就是我家的做饭Solution时,明显双方都知道这句话的目的就是要让我不开心,这时候争对错,争辩,反驳,责骂,都是毫无意义的。可能比较好的处理方式是放慢语速说o.k....that is a very interesting view. When I hear it, it makes me feel sad and hurt, as I feel you are not treating me as a partner, instead an au pair. I believe it’s not your intention to hurt my feelings. Can you please not say things like this in the future?