If the world seems cold to you, kindle firs to warm it .
世界以寒相待,请以温暖相报。——露西·拉克姆
我是小花,一只上班喵,一株英语趴,天有点冷,人有点懒,小花在努力学英语,跟简书语言·翻译群一起。
很高兴认识你,这是我的第13篇笔记。
写在最前面:
你知道的~本文出现的参考翻译与讲解内容均来自简书语言·翻译群内夏天主编的解析。
11月14日练习。请将以下中文用英文表达,并发至本群。
飞机由一个熟悉的方面飞来了,洪大的震响惊动了当地的居民。他们脸上各画着一些恐怖的回忆。
参考译文:(源自张培基先生)
A place appeared out of the blue from a direction only too familiar to the local inhabitants, roaring to the alarm of everybody, on whose face was written memories of some previous horrors.
解析:
1、句式处理:首先看一下参考译文整体结构,原文是独立的两个短句,但是这两句之间关系特别密切,所以参考译文处理成一个长句。我们知道中文短句较多,英文嵌套修饰而成的长难句很多,参考译文用一个插入语加定从的方式组成长句,符合英文表达习惯。
2、out of the blue,不要望文生义认为是指飞机从天空飞来,这个词的含义是突然,此处是增译,强调飞机的突如其来,因为原文包含着“因为突然,所以带来恐惧”的含义。
夏天主编:至于熟悉的方向则是指东北。前面有讲过这篇文章是萧乾先生创作于东三省沦陷后的1932年冬天。
3、“洪大的震响”,参考译文是“roaring to the alarm”,这里语法上要注意ing分词的修饰作用,这个语法点已经出现很多次,许多同学运用的也非常娴熟,为你们点赞!
夏天主编:在词语方面,roar这个词我们在学《白马湖之冬》时已经详细讲过。这篇译文可以注意一下alarm这个词。
alarm除了我们熟悉的警报,警报器等含义,还有一个含义就是 Alarm is a feeling of fear or anxiety that something unpleasant or dangerous might happen. 惊恐
例如:The news was greeted with alarm by senators.
词组1:raise / sound the alarm, 意思是to warn people that something bad is happening 发出警报:
例如:Neighbours raised the alarm when they smelled smoke.
邻居闻到烟味便发出了警报。
词组2: alarm bells ring, 意思是if alarm bells ring, you feel worried that something bad may be happening 警钟敲响,引起警觉:
例如:Alarm bells started to ring when he failed to return home.
他没有回家,大家担心起来。
夏天主编:所以这里用alarm既可以表达战机来袭的危险警报,又可以体现住民心中的惊恐。
4、“他们脸上各画着一些恐怖的回忆”,on whose face was written memories of some previous horrors.参考译文用了被动态,而这些恐怖回忆源自往昔,所以用了previous.
夏天主编:翻译中的被动态处理,原文按照中文习惯是主动,但真实意思是“他们脸上被往事画着恐怖的记忆”
夏天主编:大家还记得周五我们练习的“残雪上面画着片片践踏的痕迹”吧,那个画用的是dot,此处画是用write,因为前者强调“片片”,后者则是“因往昔而留下的记忆”。那么这里的write,也许还可以用carve,engrave,ink来进一步强调恐惧留下的印记。
夏天主编:这篇散文到此,已然愈加悲怆,沉郁。愿我们热爱和平,珍惜今天的幸福生活。
分享一个成语: 铸剑为犁,change our swords into plows。
群里大神的翻译:
郗何老师
Local inhabitants were shocked by the appearance of a plane with loud noise from a familiar direction and horrible memories appeared on their faces.(主编评:做的很好!很准确)
Hannahme老师
The loud noise of the plane flying from a familiar direction shocked the local residents , and reminds them of horrible memories .(主编评:做的很好。remind of 用的很好)
兔宝兔老师
With the roar of the engine, a plane emerged from a familiar direction frightened the local inhabitants and they wore an expression of horror.(主编评:做的很好。wear用的很形象)
梧桐断角
The local residents were all alarmed by the blare from the familiar path of the aircraft, wearing a reminiscent horror on their faces.(主编评:做的好赞! alarm blare都特别地道)
不会英语的小花
The plane flew from a familiar direction with a loud noise, which shocked the residents and recalled some horrible memories on their faces.
主编小灶:
a.唤起记忆还是refresh或者evoke好一点
b.recall;to make you feel or experience something that you have felt or experienced in the past 例:The music recalls memories of childhood.
evoke :to bring a particular emotion, idea, or memory into your mind。例:The recent flood evoked memories of the great flood of 1972.
以上,给加班+没来得及拆快递就认真做解析的夏天主编点赞!(毕竟我们都是忍不住不拆快递的~哈哈哈~)