1. A graduating senior went to the board of health and asked for two thousand cockroaches. He said he promised his landlord he would leave his apartment exactly the way he found it.
一名高中毕业生去卫生局要求提供两千只蟑螂。他说他答应过他的房东，他搬离公寓时会把它完全复原到搬进时的模样。
（点评： 如此委婉语，委婉得令人无语！）
2. China has a population of one billion people. One billion. That means even if you are one in a million kind of guy, there are still one thousand others that is like you.
中国有十亿人口。十亿！就是说，即使你是万里挑一那种人，也还有10万个和你一样的人。
(点评：换句话说，你的独特之处和其它人一样。)
3. I'm in a restaurant and I'm eating and someone says, “Mind if I smoke?”and I said, “No. Mind if I fart?”
我在一家餐厅里吃饭，邻座的人问我，“我抽烟你不介意吧？”我说：“不介意。 我放屁您不介意吧？”
（点评： 同样是有毒气体，符合对等原则。）
4. When doctors tell us that our teens were peak sexual period, we feel bad that we let so many good years slip between our fingers.
当医生们告诉我们青少年时期是我们性欲最高涨的时期时，我们为多少大好青春年华都从我们的手指缝里流逝而抱恨终天。
（点评： 这有点像打扑克牌： If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand !）
5. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I've come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
政治应该是第二最古老的职业。我现在还发现，它与第一最古老的职业何其相似奈尔！
（点评： 人家还只是出卖身体而已呢！）
