Modern love
新时代的恋爱
Online dating has changed the search for a mate, for better more than for worse
网恋改变了寻找另一半的方式，变得更好而非更差
THE internet has transformed the way people work and communicate. It has upended industries, from entertainment to retailing. But its most profound effect may well be on the biggest decision that most people make—choosing a mate.
互联网重新定义了人们之间交流的方式。它颠覆了传统产业，从娱乐产业到零售产业。但是它最大的影响或许体现在大多数人所能做的最重要的决定，也即是选择结婚对象。
In the early 1990s the notion of meeting a partner online seemed freakish, and not a little pathetic. Today, in many places, it is normal. Smart phones have put virtual bars in people’s pockets, where singletons can mingle free from the constraints of social or physical geography. Globally, at least 200m people use digital dating services every month. In America more than a third of marriages now start with an online match-up. The internet is the second-most-popular way for Americans to meet people of the opposite sex, and is fast catching up with real-world “friend of a friend” introductions.
在九十年代早期网恋的观念看起来就显得怪异，甚至有些病态。现今，在许多地方，这已然成为常态。智能手机将虚拟酒吧放入人们的口袋中，单身人士可以无视社会或者地理位置上的束缚。从全球而言，至少两亿人每月都在使用网恋服务。在美国，有超过三分之一的婚姻开始于网上恋爱。网络是目前美国人第二受欢迎的结识异性的方式，并且，网络可能很快将取代朋友介绍，成为美国人觅偶的主要途径。
Digital dating is a massive social experiment, conducted on one of humanity’s most intimate and vital processes. Its effects are only just starting to become visible (see Briefing).
网恋是一项巨大的社会试验，试验的对象是人类最亲密和重要的关系。试验的结果正慢慢开始显现出来。
When Harry clicked on Sally
当莎莉“选中”哈利
Meeting a mate over the internet is fundamentally different from meeting one offline. In the physical world, partners are found in family networks or among circles of friends and colleagues. Meeting a friend of a friend is the norm. People who meet online are overwhelmingly likely to be strangers. Asa result, dating digitally offers much greater choice. A bar, choir or office might have a few tens of potential partners for any one person. Online there are tens of thousands. This greater choice—plus the fact that digital connections are made only with mutual consent—makes the digital dating market far more efficient than the offline kind. For some, that is bad news. Because of the gulf in pickiness between the sexes, a few straight men are doomed never to get any matches at all. On Tantan, a Chinese app, men express interest in 60% of women they see, but women are interested in just6% of men; this dynamic means that 5% of men never receive a match. In offline dating, with a much smaller pool of men to fish from, straight women are more likely to couple up with men who would not get a look-in online.
在网络上约会和现实中约会存在根本性的不同。在现实生活中，伴侣通过家庭关系或者朋友圈、同事关系而建立。其常态就是和朋友的朋友见面。在网络上认识的人几乎完全就是陌生人。因此，网恋的选择范围更加巨大。对个人而言，酒吧，合唱团或者办公室可能有几十个潜在的伴侣选择。而网络上有几万个。这种巨大的选择范围，更不用说网恋是基于双方都认可的前提之下，使得网络恋爱的效率远远高于线下。对某些人而言，这是个坏消息。因为不同性别之间的在选择另一半时因挑剔产生的鸿沟，使得某些“男性配角”注定无法找到合适的另一半。在中国一个名为“探探”的软件上，男人对他们看到的 60% 女性表现出了兴趣，而女性只对 6% 的男性表示出兴趣；这种对比意味着 5% 的男性无法获得配对。在线下约会中，由于男人的基数少，“女性配角”会更加倾向于看中那些她们在网上看不上眼的男性。
