CHAPTER 8

1.9 Own your outcomes.

坦然接受结果

For the most part, life gives you so many decisions to make and so many opportunities to recover from your mistakes that, if you handle them well, you can have a terrific life. Of course, sometimes there are major influences on the quality of our lives that come from things beyond our control—the circumstances we are born into, accidents and illnesses, and so forth—but for the most part even the worst circumstances can be made better with the right approach. For example, a friend of mine dove into a swimming pool, hit his head, and became a quadriplegic. But he approached his situation well and became as happy as anybody else, because there are many paths to happiness.

My point is simply this: Whatever circumstances life brings you, you will be more likely to succeed and find happiness if you take responsibility for making your decisions well instead of complaining about things being beyond your control. Psychologists call this having an “internal locus of control,” and studies consistently show that people who have it outperform those who don’t.

So don’t worry about whether you like your situation or not. Life doesn’t give a damn about what you like. It’s up to you to connect what you want with what you need to do to get it and then find the courage to carry it through. In the next chapter I will show you the 5-Step Process that helped me learn about reality and evolve.

大多数时候，生活给了你太多机会决策，太多机会去弥补过失，如果你做得好，你可能有一个了不起的人生。当然有时事情可能会超出我们的控制—我们所处的环境，意外和疾病，等等—但大多数情况下即使最糟糕的环境下我们也能凭借正确的方法取得不错的结果。举例，我的一个朋友有次吊水，撞到了头部，成了瘫痪。但他接受了处境，并和其他人一样开行因为从不缺乏通往快乐的途径。

c. Distinguish between you as the designer of your machine and you as a worker with your machine. One of the hardest things for people to do is to objectively look down on themselves within their circumstances (i.e., their machine) so that they can act as the machine’s designer and manager. Most people remain stuck in the perspective of being a worker within the machine. If you can recognize the differences between those roles and that it is much more important that you are a good designer/manager of your life than a good worker in it, you will be on the right path. To be successful, the “designer/manager you” has to be objective about what the “worker you” is really like, not believing in him more than he deserves, or putting him in jobs he shouldn’t be in. Instead of having this strategic perspective, most people operate emotionally and in the moment; their lives are a series of undirected emotional experiences, going from one thing to the next. If you want to look back on your life and feel you’ve achieved what you wanted to, you can’t operate that way.

C．在你作为自己的身体的设计者和你自己身体的工作者之间区分。对于人来说最难做的事情就是客观的看待自己（即 他们的机器）他们只想做自己身体的设计师和管理者。大多数人任然只把自己当成自己的劳动者，如果能认识那些角色之间的不同，更重要的是你必须意识到自己可以称为自己的设计师/管理者 而不是仅仅是一个被动劳动的人。你已经在正确的路上了。想要成功，“设计师/管理者 的你”必须成为作为“工作者的你”的真正喜欢的目标。轻视或错位而不是拥有正确的视角，大多数人情绪化行动；他们的生活就是一系列的不受引导的情绪化的体验，从一件事到下一件。如果你回顾你的生活，如果你觉得你得到了想要的东西，你一定不是那样做的。

d. The biggest mistake most people make is to not see themselves and others objectively, which leads them to bump into their own and others’ weaknesses again and again. People who do this fail because they are stubbornly stuck in their own heads. If they could just get around this, they could live up to their potential.

This is why higher-level thinking is essential for success.

D．大多数人犯的最大错误就是没有客观了解他们自己和他人。这也导致他们一再的被自己和他人的缺点击败。被自己的顽固思维所击败。如果能绕过这一点，他们就能激活自己的潜力。

这也就是为什么高阶的思考是成功的基础。

e. Successful people are those who can go above themselves to see things objectively and manage those things to shape change. They can take in the perspectives of others instead of being trapped in their own heads with their own biases. They are able to look objectively at what they are like—their strengths and weaknesses—and what others are like to put the right people in the right roles to achieve their goals. Once you understand how to do this you’ll see that there’s virtually nothing you can’t accomplish. You will just have to learn how to face your realities and use the full range of resources at your disposal. For example, if you as the designer/manager discover that you as the worker can’t do something well, you need to fire yourself as the worker and get a good replacement, while staying in the role of designer/manager of your own life. You shouldn’t be upset if you find out that you’re bad at something—you should be happy that you found out, because knowing that and dealing with it will improve your chances of getting what you want.

E．成功的人们都是能超越自己并客观看待自己，能控制那些塑形的东西。他们总是能拣选他人的观点而不是全盘拿来。他们能冷静旁观喜欢的东西—他们的强项和缺陷—并能将正确的人放在正确的位置上以达成目标。一旦你明白了如何做到这些，没什么是你得不到的。你可能只需要学会如何面对自己的真相，动用所有资源处置。举例，如果作为设计和管理的你发现作为工作者的你无法很好地完成某事，你需要从工作者角色解脱出来，进行换位，只需要保持在设计和管理角色就好。如果发现不擅长某事也不必难过—该高兴点因为你发现了自己的缺陷，因为知道缺点并很好地处理能帮助你提高成功的机会。

If you are disappointed because you can’t be the best person to do everything yourself, you are terribly naive. Nobody can do everything well. Would you want to have Einstein on your basketball team? When he fails to dribble and shoot well, would you think badly of him? Should he feel humiliated? Imagine all the areas in which Einstein was incompetent, and imagine how hard he struggled to excel even in the areas in which he was the best in the world.

Watching people struggle and having others watch you struggle can elicit all kinds of ego-driven emotions such as sympathy, pity, embarrassment, anger, or defensiveness. You need to get over all that and stop seeing struggling as something negative. Most of life’s greatest opportunities come out of moments of struggle; it’s up to you to make the most of these tests of creativity and character.

如果你为自己无法做好某事而失望，你真是太天真了。没有人是万能的。难道你想在篮球队有一个爱因斯坦吗？爱因斯坦也会有糟糕的运球，投篮不进，难道你认为他很糟糕？他会感到耻辱吗？设想下所有爱因斯坦不擅长的领域，即使在他最擅长的领域爱因斯坦也必须非常努力才能出类拔萃。

旁观他们努力和他人旁观你奋斗都能激发自我驱动的情绪比如同情，可惜，尴尬，愤怒，或者防范。你需要超越所有这些情绪，停止将奋斗看做是负作用的。大多数人生中的机会都来自于艰难的时候；恰恰在需要创造力和个性化的时候需要你做到最好。

When encountering your weaknesses you have four choices:

1. You can deny them (which is what most people do).

2. You can accept them and work at them in order to try to convert them into strengths (which might or might not work depending on your ability to change).

3. You can accept your weaknesses and find ways around them.

4. Or, you can change what you are going after.

面临缺陷你有以下四个选择：

1． 否认缺陷

2． 接受缺陷尝试将他们变成强项（依赖于你能力的改变，也许会也许不会起作用）

3． 接受你的缺陷并想办法绕过他

4． 或者改变自己追求的目标

Which solution you choose will be critically important to the direction of your life. The worst path you can take is the first. Denial can only lead to your constantly banging up against your weaknesses, having pain, and not getting anywhere. The second—accepting your weaknesses while trying to turn them into strengths—is probably the best path if it works. But some things you will never be good at and it takes a lot of time and effort to change. The best single clue as to whether you should go down this path is whether the thing you are trying to do is consistent with your nature (i.e., your natural abilities). The third path—accepting your weaknesses while trying to find ways around them—is the easiest and typically the most viable path, yet it is the one least followed. The fourth path, changing what you are going after, is also a great path, though it requires flexibility on your part to get past your preconceptions and enjoy the good fit when you find it.

4. 或者你可以改变追求的目标

你选择何种解决方案可能非常关键 对你的生活方向非常重要。你能采取的最糟糕的路径的第一步。拒绝只能让你不断的与你的缺陷冲突，拒绝只会带来痛苦，并不会有其他东西。第二—接受你的缺陷并尝试把他们转变为强项—如果能管用可能是最好的方法了。但有些事情你可能永远不会擅长，可能会花费大量时间和努力去改变。而检验方法的最佳单一线索就是你一直努力尝试的事情是否与你的天性一致（及你的自然天赋）。第三-接受你的缺陷并尝试绕过他—是最简单也相对典型的可行方法，然而还有至少一条路可走。第四，改变你追求的，也不错，经管你需要自我变通，并享受我发现的适合东西。

f. Asking others who are strong in areas where you are weak to help you is a great skill that you should develop no matter what, as it will help you develop guardrails that will prevent you from doing what you shouldn’t be doing. All successful people are good at this.

F．向那些领域的专家求教是快速客服弱点并帮助自己的很好的技巧，并能帮助你建立自己的行为准则以阻止你做错误的事情。所有成功的人都非常擅长这样做。

g. Because it is difficult to see oneself objectively, you need to rely on the input of others and the whole body of evidence. I know that my own life has been full of mistakes and lots of great feedback. It was only by looking down on this body of evidence from a higher level that I was able to get around my mistakes and go after what I wanted. For as long as I have been practicing this, I still know I can’t see myself objectively, which is why I continue to rely so much on the input of others.

G．正因为客观的看待自己非常难，你需要其他的输入和整个个体的证据。我知道我整个一生充满了错误和大量的非常好的反馈。只有从更高的维度观察我自己我才能与我的缺陷和解，并一起追求我想要的。很长时间我都在训练自己，尽管这样我还是知道自己无法完全客观的看待自己，这也就是我为什么依旧如此一来他人的反馈和输入。

h. If you are open-minded enough and determined, you can get virtually anything you want. So I certainly don’t want to dissuade you from going after whatever you want. At the same time, I urge you to reflect on whether what you are going after is consistent with your nature. Whatever your nature is, there are many paths that will suit you, so don’t fixate on just one. Should a particular path close, all you have to do is find another good one consistent with what you’re like. (You’ll learn a lot about how to determine what you’re like later, in Understand That People Are Wired Very Differently.)

h．如果你足够开放并下定决心，你几乎能得到任何你想要的。我这么确定并不是想劝阻你追逐你的目标。同时我促请你反思你追求的东西与你是否合拍。不论你的天性如何，总有很多适合你，所不必仅固定在一个上面。当一条路关闭，你只需去寻找另一个与你相符的好的就行（随后你将学习到大量关于如何确定什么是你喜欢的，并明白人和人之间是多么的不同）

But most people lack the courage to confront their own weaknesses and make the hard choices that this process requires. Ultimately, it comes down to the following five decisions:

1. Don’t confuse what you wish were true with what is really true.

2. Don’t worry about looking good—worry instead about achieving your goals.

3. Don’t overweight first-order consequences relative to second- and third-order ones.

4. Don’t let pain stand in the way of progress.

5. Don’t blame bad outcomes on anyone but yourself.

但大多数人缺乏面对缺点的勇气，同时缺乏这个过程所需的艰难选择。最终，得到下面的五种决策：

1． 不要混淆你期望的真实和真正的真相

2． 不要为那些看上去需要担心的事情而耽误达成目标

3． 不要过于重视第一的直接后果忽视第二和其他后果。

4． 别让痛苦击倒自己

5． 除了自己，没人会为你承担坏的后果