前两周去了趟英国。除到伦敦外，主要还是送小孩去Marlborough Summer School【注1】，上英文、野外求生等课程；由于凯特王妃毕业于此，该学院也被戏称为皇家入门基地。
学院同时贴心的提供成人课程，给我们这种陪公主读书的孝子父母进步空间；于是报了个 An Introduction of Creative Writing，英国创意文学写作的入门班。
不是装B啊，因为领导老婆大人已选了English as a Foreign Language不准我跟她同班，而这已是其它英文类最入门的课程…跟碰到的老外解释不下5遍，回应都是“you are brave” 真勇敢。
蛤？课程介绍不是说啥都不用准备，只要会写英文?
第一天上课老师给每人发巧克力；然后马上临场发挥，30分钟内写下对巧克力的感觉，朗诵后老师及同学点评；一早上就有2-4个这种练习。
怪不得英国佬讲“brave”时都用怜悯眼神看我；写作，尤其是英国文学写作，跟日常会话完全倆回事；所以同学念他/她们文章时，就算没英国腔我也80%听不懂；何况同班全是退休的本地爷爷奶奶，non-native只我一个；老师更是教莎士比亚与剧场出身的。
艾玛入坑了。
遇到问题就该召唤圣器【注2】
首先厘清概念：这门课叫Creative Writing，创意比重占50%以上；
方法论：听懂考题，产生创意，然后快速写出来；
对于践行方法，还好老师讲考题还不太装B，能听懂；所以关键问题是时间紧不足以好好修改句子文法；既然我的writing弱，那就加强创意不管文法，先取50分；写到大家听懂就60分了，有空再修句子。
价值观：先求有，再求好；
观念串联：用既有生活经验及google大法串联创意，目标出人意表。
第二天的践行结果就是上周发布的文章”蘑菇”。老师同学都喜欢，只问说为何增加难度转换性别；殊不知英国那会我天天下厨，窗外有花跟蜜蜂﹑煮的就是蘑菇，不写得跟现实偏离点，老婆大人当真怎么办？
话说英国蘑菇还真心好吃啊。
后一天的题目是：
找历史上或虚构的三个人来聚在Summer School里聊天
同学们选的有牛顿﹑亨利5世﹑哈利波特等英国相关人物，这时我的非本地化﹑读书积累及Google能力就有优势了【注3】：
丘吉尔拿着雪茄跟酒漫步在学校里，突然发现在下午茶的长桌旁有俩人在争执；
川普：you are fired!! (川普名句) 讲英文！我听不懂任何外国鸟语！
凯撒：笨蛋！这是拉丁文 “ 我见﹑我来﹑我征服 ” (凯撒名句)
川普：你讲的是英文吗？我还是听不懂！
丘吉尔：永不屈服，永远！(丘吉尔名句) 确实这位绅士的话比较深奥，需用心聆听(讽刺川普不听人说话)。您好，我是丘吉尔。
川普：我就是川普，富有又性感。
凯撒：我是罗马第一公民凯撒。等等，川普你很有钱吗？
川普：现拥有美国政府，将来会拥有美国所有房地产，你说我有不有钱？
凯撒：借些金币吧，我会是你最好的投资。丘吉尔，也借我些？（凯撒以负债出名）
丘吉尔：除了鲜血﹑劳力﹑眼泪及汗水外我一无所有(丘吉尔名句)；你要借那样？
讲到这边课堂上大笑。
除上述的两篇外，其他练习用上了遗产争夺﹑同性恋﹑近亲三角恋﹑车祸﹑自闭症﹑日本战国史等元素，反正怎么冲突怎么来。那天午餐时同学评价：Creative but zero English，有创意, 英文够烂; 也算目标达成吧。
但到周五能用的狗血创意差不多用光，嗟乎！韩剧慢鱼才尽于此矣。
最后题目改编名著结局
看着其他人忙着改哈姆雷特﹑海明威﹑圣经，我则一心想用高大上的名著写入流的英文句子，屡屡修改遭遇困境；拖到最后只剩30分还没动笔，难道要放弃？老师一句话点醒我“可以改童话故事”【注4】：
幸好天上掉馅饼，这砖房里就有三只小猪；只要我攻进去就能带培根回家。
虽然已吹倒两栋房子，但这砖房很坚固也没窗户，不容易。
等等，屋顶上那是烟囱吗？可以从那进啊。（往烟囱里下看）
有蒸气！这些红烧肉，想用热水烫死我？以为不会被发觉吗？
但由烟囱爬下去就躲不掉大锅，这些食物还真能思考啊。
怎么办？孩子们已经三天没吃饭了，不能放弃。
得丢些东西下去弄坏这锅，屋顶上什么都没有，貌似能丢的只有我自己。
也许水没那么热？也许我能马上跳出来？
天越来越暗，孩子们已经三天没吃饭了，而我也很饿。
既然身体是唯一能丢的东西，那就跳吧！为了小孩，值得搏命一试。
然而结局仍没有改变，一个父亲死了。后来孩子们呢？是不是都活下来了？谁知道?
换个视角，喜剧就成了悲剧；下课后同学特别过来说 “You are the best!!”
故事框架花二十分钟构思，一设定完就不管文法往下走，结局是自己跑出来的；
想是把自己父亲的身份代入了。不惜血本把小孩送英国送国际学校，也是希望能增加竞争力，避免将来饿肚子；其实我就是故事里的大野狼啊。
加尔韦在“身心合一的奇迹力量”里说人有两个自我，头脑和意识层面的自我1﹑及身体和潜意识层面的自我2。通常人由自我1主导，头脑是主人，会对你的行为下对错判断，造成身体紧张表现受限；只有交给自我2由潜意识主导，才能越过对错，超常发挥。
肯定那时两个自我合作了。本来我只是慢鱼，越来越知道自己不足；结果透过写作时的压力逼出只大野狼，跑来主导并使我超常发挥。
You are the best，慢鱼跟大野狼；以后还请在各方面多多合作！
最后提供短篇故事写作要领，教莎士比亚的英国老师直传哦！
Some comments on the short story as a genre
对于一些以日常情景为主题的短篇故事的建议：
The aim of a short story is to achieve a single concentrated impression, so it must move swiftly; it cannot afford to pause to describe the dull and uneventful time through which the reader actually experience time.
因为短篇故事的目的是造成单一的、强烈的印象，所以整体节奏要移动的很快；不能让读者卡在无趣、无变化的叙述上。
Short stories usually focus on one action or event. It may be ordinary event highlighted by the writer to depict the nature of ordinary life or it may depict a crisis which interrupts ordinary life, leaving everything changed.
通常短篇故事聚焦在单一情节或事件；也许透过描述日常生活的性质来突出寻常的事件、也许刻画灾难阻断了原本生活而产生的改变。
Where the author aims to depict the daily round, s/he frames the chosen event by selecting it and inviting the reader to share in what s/he has noticed. A short story of crisis however, deals with an event which by its nature is out of the ordinary and the writer’s telling of the story must evoke the special nature of the central character’s situation.
描写日常生活短篇时，先遴选一些事件进行刻画，分享其发现或关注点给读者；当描写灾难短篇时，则需了解事件里一些异乎寻常的性质，并在对主要情境叙事中唤醒这些特殊性质。
The nature of the story as “ordinary” or “special” in its essence will influence such important aspects as point of view, characterization, mood and style.
这些关于“日常”或“特殊”故事里的性质，其精华本质将影响故事呈现的轮廓，如观点、特性、氛围或风格。
Short stories often show rather than tell and they may require the reader to respond to the writer’s hints rather than offering detailed explanations. Characterization, for instance, often works by implication rather than detailed description.
在短篇故事中，通常展现比叙述好；也就是留线索让读者发现比提供细节解释好。特性描述、类比举例，都比叙述细节好。
The sort story often aims to provide the reader with a moment of insight of “epiphany”. It may convey a moral message.
短篇故事通常目的是让读者“焕然大悟”；也许是透过寓意传达。
The sort story often contains a “twist” even though it has been signposted.
就算是已经明白指路给读者，但短篇小说通常仍需设定迂回纠结处（我想是设关卡让读者思考通关吧）
Beginnings and ending are particularly important in the short story. Beginnings often suggest a great deal in a few words. Ending must be carefully contrived in order not to seem contrived.
开头结尾对于短篇故事特别重要。建议开头切题简洁，结尾不要看起来刻意做作。
我是慢鱼爱立刻，写作一点点的践行学徒；期待建构有爱的智能世界，希望有您参与。
如果文章对您有用，还请留言批判、或转发传播。感激不尽。
注1：学校网址http://www.marlboroughcollege.org/
注2：请参见我前作“死神的圣器”一文
注3: 原文
One man took his wine and cigar roaming on the course of summer school. He figured out there were 2 men arguing beside the long table, so he walked to them.
2nd man: You are fired! Speaking in English, I don’t understand any god damn foreign language!
3rd man: Fool, the term means “I see, I come, I conquer.”
2nd man: are you speaking in English? Why can’t I understand still?
1st man: Never give in, never, never, never. Indeed the gentleman’s announcement is hard, only you can get by listening with heart. I am Spencer Churchill, nice to meet you.
Donald: I am Donald, rich and sexy.
Churchill: and you Mr.?
Caesar: I was the first citizen of Rome, Caesar. Wait a second; did you say you are rich? Donald?
Donald is proud: Absolutely, I own the United States government now, and I will own all American estates one day.
Caesar: Great, could you lend me some gold? I will be your best investment. And you Spencer, could you lend me some?
Churchill: I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat. Which one do you want?
Donald: What are those? Are those good investments?
注4：原文
My kids have been no food 3 days.
Currently I am standing in front of a brick house where 3 pigs inside, certainly a gift from above.
Only I need is looking for a way to fetch those bacons.
It did not work to huff, although I was successful twice.
There is no window but a locked firm door. How can I get in?
Wait, a chimney is on roof where I can get in. Let me do it.
(Looking down by chimney)
What is this? A cauldron with hot water? Sneakly fool bacons, are you expecting I would not aware the steam in chimney?
But it’s really a good idea; certainly I will fall into the cauldron getting in chimney.
The foods can think, I thought.
How should I do? My kids have no food 3 days, I can’t give up.
I should drop something to destroy the cauldron, but there is nothing on roof, my body is the only thing to drop.
Might the water is not so heat? Might I quickly jump out? The sky is coming darker and darker, my kids have no food 3 days, and I am hungry too.
Since my body is the only thing to drop, I will jump. For my kids, I have to try.
But the ending did not change. A father died. No one know how’s going about the 4 baby wolves; they might alive or starve, who knows?
