外刊2-Talking less will get you more

主标题:Talking less will get you more

副标题: Overtalkers are everywhere, but there are benefits to keeping your mouth shut.

主标题:少说会让你收获更多

副标题:话痨随处可见,但把嘴闭上也有好处。

1. get you more 可以得到更多

2. keep your mouth shut 缄口不语


P1

The world is filled with overtalkers. You run into them all the time. 

They are that pest at the office who destroys every Monday by recounting each unremarkable thing they did over the weekend.

 They are that jerk who talks over everyone else at dinner party while the rest of you fantasize about slipping hemlock into their Pinot Noir. 

They are the neighbor who drops in uninvited and spends an hour telling you stories you've already heard. To be honest, they are most of us, too.

世界上到处都是话痨。你经常会碰到他们。他们是办公室里的讨厌鬼,总是把周末做的每件小事都念叨个不停,把周一的日子都毁了。他们就是那种在晚宴上对别人大谈特谈而你们却幻想着在他们的黑比诺酒里放毒芹的混蛋。他们是不请自来的邻居,花一个小时给你讲你已经听过的故事。说实话,他们也是我们中的大多数人。

1. run into: 撞上,偶然碰见,偶遇

2. pest:( informal ) an annoying person or thing 讨厌的人(或物)That child is being a real pest. 那个孩子真讨厌

3. destroy every Monday

4. unremarkable adj./ˌʌnrɪˈmɑːkəbl/ ordinary; not special or remarkable in any way 一般的;平常的;平凡的;平庸的   an unremarkable life 平淡的生活

5. over the weekend 周末期间

6. jerk [ C] ( informal ) a stupid person who often says or does the wrong thing 蠢人;傻瓜;笨蛋

7. fantasize v. /ˈfæntəsaɪz/ ( Bre also -ise) [ V that] ~ (about sth)  想象;幻想;做白日梦    He sometimes fantasized about winning the gold medal. 他有时幻想赢得金牌的情景。

8. slip :to put sth somewhere quickly, quietly or secretly 迅速放置;悄悄塞;偷偷放

VN+ adv./prep.]  •I managed to slip in a few jokes. 我设法穿插了几个笑话。

VNN VN]  •They'd slipped the guards some money. 他们悄悄塞给卫兵一些钱。  They'd slipped some money to the guards. 他们悄悄塞给卫兵一些钱。

9. hemlock /ˈhɛmˌlɒk/ N-UNCOUNT Hemlock is a poisonous plant. 毒芹

10. drop in: PHRASAL VERB If you drop in on someone, you visit them informally, usually without having arranged it. 顺道拜访     •  Why not drop in for a chat? 为何不顺道过来聊聊?

11.they are most of us 他们是我们中的大多数人


P2

It's not entirely our fault. We live in a world that doesn't just encourage overtalking but practically demands it, where success is measured by how much attention we can attract: get a million Twitter followers, become an Instagram influencer, make a viral video, give TED talk.

We are inundated with YouTube, social media, chat apps, streaming services. We are tweeting for the sake of tweeting, talking for the sake of talking.

这不全是我们的错。我们生活在一个不仅鼓励多说话,而且实际上要求多说话的世界,在这个世界里,衡量成功的标准是我们能吸引多少关注:在Twitter上拥有100万粉丝,在Instagram上成为网红,制作一个广为传播的视频,在TED上发表演讲。我们被YouTube、社交媒体、聊天软件、流媒体服务所淹没。我们为推特而推特,为谈而谈。

1. It's not entirely our fault 不完全

2.encourage: to persuade sb to do sth by making it easier for them and making them believe it is a good thing to do 鼓动;劝告;怂恿   Banks actively encourage people to borrow money. 银行积极鼓动人们贷款。 

3. practically: in a realistic or sensible way; in real situations 实事求是地;实际地   Practically speaking, we can't afford it. 实际说来,我们买不起这东西。

4. success is measured 衡量成功

5. how much attention we can attract 我们能吸引多少关注

6. get a million Twitter followers, become an Instagram influencer, make a viral video, give TED talk

7. inundate v. /ˈɪnʌndeɪt/ [ VN]

 ~ sb (with sth)to give or send sb so many things that they cannot deal with them all 使不胜负荷;使应接不暇    We have been inundated with offers of help. 主动援助多得使我们应接不暇。

formal ) to cover an area of land with a large amount of water 淹没;泛滥 

8. for the sake of 为了...的好处,起见,由于


P3

Yet many of the most powerful and successful people do the exact opposite.

Instead of seeking attention, they hold back. When they do speak, they are careful about what they say.

然而,许多最有权势和最成功的人却恰恰相反。他们不寻求关注,而是有所保留。当他们开口说话时,他们对自己说的话很谨慎。

1. do the exact opposite(名词相反)

2. yet  /jet/ despite what has just been said 但是;然而   It's a small car, yet it's surprisingly spacious. 这辆汽车不大,然而却出奇地宽敞。

3. seek attention 寻求关注

4. hold back 克制,文中表示保留意见


P4

Apple CEO Tim Cook lets awkward pause hang during conversations. Albert Einstiein was an introvert who cherished solitude. 

The late Ruth Bader Ginsburg choose her words so carefully and took such painfully long pauses that her clerks developed a habit they call "the Two-Mississippi Rule": finish what you are saying and then count "one Mississippi...two Mississippi" before you speak again. 

The justice was not ignoring you; she was thinking...very...deeply...about how to respond.

苹果公司首席执行官蒂姆·库克喜欢在谈话中尴尬停顿。阿尔伯特·爱因斯坦是一个喜欢独处的内向的人。已故的露丝·巴德·金斯伯格(Ruth Bader Ginsburg)措辞谨慎,停顿时间长得令人痛苦,以至于她的助手们养成了一种被他们称为“两个密西西比规则”的习惯:说完你要说的话,然后数“一个密西西比……两个密西西比"然后再开口。法官并没有无视你; 她在……非常……深入地……思考如何回应。

1. let awkward pause hang

2. introvert : /ˈɪntrəvɜːrta quiet person who is more interested in their own thoughts and feelings than in spending time with other people 内向的人;不喜欢与人交往的人

3. cherish solitude 喜欢独处

4. develop a habit 形成习惯

5. justice:a judge in a court (also used before the name of a judge) 法官(亦作称谓)


P5

Men, in particular, are the champions of overtalking-and talking over. We bulldoze. We hog the floor. We mansplain, manterrupt, and deliver manalogues. To me, this is a personal problem. I am an inveterate overtalker, and it has cost me dearly.

The issue is not only that i talk too much; it's that i have never been able to resist blurting out inappropriate things, and i can't keep my opinions to myself.

尤其是男人,他们是夸夸其谈的冠军。我们强势、霸道。我们男人说教、打断、说一些大男子主义的话。对我来说,这是个私人问题。我是一个惯于说话的人,这让我付出了高昂的代价。问题不仅在于我话太多;而是我总是忍不住脱口而出一些不合时宜的话,而且无法保留意见。

1.bulldoze /ˈbʊldoʊz/

+ adv./prep.] to force your way somewhere; to force sth somewhere (使)强行通过

V]  Andy Roland bulldozed through to score. 安迪•罗兰强攻得分。

VN]  He bulldozed his way to victory. 他一路过关斩将,取得了最后胜利。   •They bulldozed the tax through Parliament. 他们使税收提案在议会强行通过。 

VN] ~ sb (into doing sth)to force sb to do sth 强迫(某人做某事)They bulldozed him into selling. 他们胁迫他卖出。

2.hog the floor 霸道

hog V-T  If you hog something, you take all of it in a greedy or impolite way. 独占  •  Are you done hogging the bathroom? 你要霸占浴室到什么时候?

3.mansplain v.男人(向女人)说教 缩合词:man + explain

4. inveterate : ( of a person 人 ) always doing sth or enjoying sth, and unlikely to stop 积习难改的;有…瘾的     an inveterate liar 积习难改的说谎者

5.it has cost me dearly 付出了高昂的代价

cost :to cause the loss of sth 使丧失;使损失

VNNThat one mistake almost cost him his life. 那一个差错几乎使他丧命。 

VN]     The closure of the factory is likely to cost 1 000 jobs. 那家工厂一关闭,很可能1 000个工作岗位就没有了。

6.blurt out : to say sth suddenly and without thinking carefully enough 脱口而出   • She blurted it out before I could stop her. 我还没来得及制止,她已脱口而出

7.keep my opinions to myself.保留意见


P6

Once, when i put my foot in my mouth at work, i lost my job and the promise of millions dollars. Worse, my lack of conversational impulse control led to a separation from my wife, and nearly cost me marriage.

It was then, living alone in a rented house, away from my wife and kids, that i acknowledged that overtalking was interfering with my life. This sent me on a search to find the answer to two questions: Why are some people compulsive talkers? And how can we fix it?

有一次,当我在工作中说错话时,我失去了工作和数百万美元的承诺。更糟糕的是,我在交谈中缺乏对冲动的控制,导致我与妻子分居,差点让我失去了婚姻。就在那时,我一个人住在租来的房子里,远离妻子和孩子,我意识到话太多正在干扰我的生活。这让我开始寻找两个问题的答案:为什么有些人是冲动性的说话者?我们如何解决这个问题?

1.put my foot in my mouth 说失礼的话说错话

2. impulse  一时心血来潮的     •  The curtains were an impulse buy. 这窗帘是一时心血来潮买下的

3.a separation from my wife 和我妻子分居

4.cost me marriage 失去婚姻

5.in a rented house 租来的房子

6.interfering with my life 干扰我的生活

interfere: 妨碍    •  Smoking and drinking interfere with your body's ability to process oxygen.吸烟和喝酒妨碍身体对氧的吸收能力。

7. sent me on a search 开始寻找

8.the answer to two questions 两个问题的答案

9. compulsive 

1.)( of behaviour 行为 ) that is difficult to stop or control 难以制止的;难控制的  compulsive eating/spending/gambling 强迫性进食╱消费;上瘾的赌博

2.)( of people 人 ) not being able to control their behaviour 无法控制行为的;禁不住的 compulsive drinker/gambler/liar 酗酒成性的酒徒;嗜赌成癖的赌徒;说谎成性的人

3). that makes you pay attention to it because it is so interesting and exciting 引人入胜的 The programme made compulsive viewing. 这节目引人入胜,收看起来欲罢不能。 

10.how can we fix it 我们如何解决这个问题

P7

Early in my process, i discovered there's a word for my problem: talkaholism, a term coined by a pair of communication-studies scholars to describe a form of extreme overtalking. 

They created a self-scored questionnaire to identify people who suffer from the condition.

在研究过程的早期,我发现有一个词可以形容我的问题:话痨(talkaholism),这个词是由两位传播学研究学者创造的,用来描述一种极端的过度说话现象。他们制作了一份自我评分问卷,以确定患有这种疾病的人。

1.talkaholism 话痨

2.coin: 创造 (新词语)   •  Jaron Lanier coined the term "virtual reality" and pioneered its early development. 加隆·雷尼尔首创“虚拟现实”一词,并率先进行早期开发。

3.communication-studies scholars 传播学研究学者

4.a form of extreme overtalking. 一种极端的过度说话现象

5.self-scored questionnaire to identify.... 确定...自我评分问卷

6. suffer from the condition 文中表示患有这种疾病的人


P8

Talkaholics cannot just wake up one day and choose to talk less. Their talking is compulsive. They don't talk just a little bit more than everyone, but a lot more, and they do this all the time, in every context or setting, even when they know that other people think they talk too much.

And here is the gut punch: talkaholics continue to talk even when they know that what they are about to say is going to hurt them. They simply cannot stop.

话痨不可能某天醒来就选择少说。他们的谈话是强迫性的。他们不是比别人多说一点点,而是多得多,而且即使他们知道别人认为他们话太多了,他们也一直都是这样,且在任何环境下。这是一个致命的打击:话痨即使知道他们要说的话会伤害到他们,也会继续说话。他们根本停不下来。

1.Talkaholics 话痨

2.wake up 醒来;开始警觉;开始了解真相

3.a little bit more  VS   a lot more 一点点,多很多

4.in every context or setting 在任何环境下

5.gut punch 重重一击


P9

Armed with theory, advice, and exercises, i developed guidelines for myself and started practicing them. I bailed out of social media almost entirely. I trained myself to become comfortable with uncomfortable silences. Before picking up the phone or getting on a Zoom call, i took deep breaths to slow myself down. During the call, i would lower my voice and slow my cadence.

有了理论、建议和练习,我为自己制定了指导方针,并开始实践。我几乎完全脱离了社交媒体。我训练自己适应不舒服的沉默。在拿起电话或拨打Zoom电话之前,我做了几次深呼吸,让自己慢下来。在电话中,我会降低声音,放慢节奏。

1.Armed with theory 有了理论

2.developed guidelines 开发指南

3.bail out of social media almost entirely 完全脱离了社交媒体

4.comfortable with

5. pick up the phone /  get on a Zoom call 拿起电话  拨打Zoom电话

6. slow myself down 让自己慢下来

7.slow my cadence 放慢节奏

cadence /ˈkeɪdəns/ N-COUNT The cadence of someone's voice is the way their voice gets higher and lower as they speak. (声音的)抑扬顿挫   •  He recognized the Polish cadences in her voice. 他听出了她声音中抑扬顿挫的波兰腔。


P10

For most of us, talking is like breathing. You don't think about it; you just do it. But when you start paying attention to how you speak, this leads you to think about why you speak the way you do.

You are forcing yourself to become conscious of something that usually happens unconsciously. Now you're doing the kind of work you might do with meditation or psychotherapy. You are turning your attention inward. You are engaging in self-reflection and self-examination. You are figuring out who you are.

对我们大多数人来说,说话就像呼吸一样。你不会去想它;你只管去做。但是当你开始注意你说话的方式时,这就会引导你思考为什么你会这样说话。你强迫自己意识到一些通常在无意识中发生的事情。现在你所做的工作可能是冥想或心理治疗。你在把你的注意力向内转移。你在进行自我反省和自我检查。你在搞清楚自己是谁。

1.why you speak the way you do.为什么你会这样说话    eg:I told you we should have done it my way ! 我跟你说过我们原本应该用我的方法来做这事。

2.become conscious of something  开始注意...

3.meditation: /ˌmɛdɪˈteɪʃən/   沉思     •  Many busy executives have begun to practise yoga and meditation.许多工作繁忙的主管已开始练习瑜伽和冥想。

4.psychotherapy:/ˌsaɪkəʊˈθɛrəpɪ/  心理疗法    •  For milder depressions, certain forms of psychotherapy do work well. 对于比较轻微的抑郁症,某些形式的心理疗法确实很有效。

5. turn your attention inward 把你的注意力向内转移

6.engage in 从事于(参加)

7. figure out who you are.搞清楚自己是谁


P11

Gradually, i began to develop more discipline, and as i did, something extraordinary happened: i started to feel better, both emotionally and physically. I'm not perfect, and i can't always adhere to my own rules-but when i do, the results are magical.

I feel calmer, less anxious, and more in control, which makes me less likely to overtalk. It's a positive feedback loop: the less i talk, the less i talk.

渐渐地,我开始养成更多自律习惯,而且就在我这样做的时候,一些惊人的事情发生了:我开始感觉更好了,无论是情感上还是身体上。我并不完美,我也不能总是坚持自己的规则——但当我这样做时,结果是神奇的。我感到更平静,不那么焦虑,更能控制自己,这让我不太可能过度说话。这是一个积极的反馈循环:我说得越少,我就说得越少。

1.develop more discipline 养成更多自律习惯

2.extraordinary /ɪkˈstrɔːrdəneri/ adj. 异乎寻常的,令人惊奇的;非凡的,卓越的;特别的,临时的;

3.both emotionally and physically 情感上和身体上

4. adhere to my own rules 遵守我自己的规则

adhere:

V-I If you adhere to a rule or agreement, you act in the way that it says you should. 遵守   •  All members of the association adhere to a strict code of practice. 所有该协会的成员都遵守严格的业务守则。

V-I If something adheres to something else, it sticks firmly to it. 紧贴   •  Small particles adhere to the seed. 微小的粒子紧贴着种子。

5.feel more in control 感到更能控制自己


P12

Better yet, i see the effect on the people around me. My marriage is stronger than ever. My daughter and i sit on the porch in the evening and have long conversations filled with laughter,

I hear all the people in my life who matter deeply to me, and now, when i do speak, they are ready to listen.

更好的是,我看到了我周围人的影响。我的婚姻比以往任何时候都牢固。晚上,我和女儿坐在门廊上,谈笑风生。我能听到生命中所有对我很重要的人的声音,现在,当我开口说话时,他们都愿意倾听。

1. effect [ CU] ~ (on sb/sth)a change that sb/sth causes in sb/sth else; a result 效应;影响;结果       the effect of heat on metal 热对金属产生的效应

2. My marriage is stronger than ever 我的婚姻比以往任何时候都牢固

3.porch n. 门廊;<美>走廊,游廊

4.hear all the people 倾听

5.who matter deeply to me, 对我很重要的人 deeply

6.are ready to =be willing to 愿意


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