Have you got married? If yes, please hands up. Do you find your other part changed a lot after marriage? especially, to the bad side. Me too.
Before marriage, couples needn't to think too much about the housework、family duty and so on. What we should do is to enjoy the sweet time, taste the chocolate, admire the rose, enjoy the travel. Wow, lovers' world is so wonderful. We often see the bright side of each other. And we also think it's the real side of him or her.But the reality is far from satisfactory.after marriage, both of our disadvantage will be exposed directly in front of each other. and the contradiction comes out too.That's the reason why it is difficult for new couples to deal with their relationship in the first one or two years after marriage.
Take me for example. Before marriage, I thought my husband was a very diligent guy. At least not lazy for housework, because once he was a soldier, he could make his quilt like a tofu block. But after marriage, I found he hates to do the housework just as me. In the beginning, I complained about it，“I really didn't know you are so lazy before marriage". he said"You are also not the one who I met before". After the quarrel, we began to ignore each other. once in a while, I even thought about leaving the house. When I was about to pack my luggage, my mother was coming, she sat on the bed, held my hands, and said" there is no perfect person in the world, you are not the perfect one. How can you ask him to be the perfect one. I am sure there is something good in him". I thought over what she said. my mother was right. he is not perfect, nor am I. he changed, so did I.
Then I reflect on my own problems, I also didn't show the real me to him, for example, before marriage, I had the passion to do some delicious dishes, both of us thought that I would done a good job in the kitchen after marriage, but in fact now I seldom go to the kitchen. and the quantity of my dish types is less than my fingers. But my husband never complained about it. he is so tolerant of my weakness. Isn't this a big advantage of his?yes, of course. So instead of complaining about him, I should respect him, even though he is not so perfect. From that time on, I began to appreciate of him, and praised him for his good behavior.He likes to play guandan on cellphone, I changed my attitude, began to support him and said " em, you a much better than most of my colleagues, because play cards on cellphone is much better than go outside for majiang". right?
My change also affected him a lot，He began to respect me too.for example, he supports me to Toastmaster every weekends, no matter how late It is when I back home, he never complained about it, and some times he takes our daughter to attend the meeting.
Besides this, we reached an agreement on housework. we ask the cleaner to help us clean the house deeply every two months. To be frank, it's not very expensive. Now not only we can live in a comfortable house but also we needn't to do too much housework. both of us feel very happy. And we become more and more understanding of each other.
In a family relationship, especially between couples, It's no doubt that there will be many problems, but all the problems can be solved if you want. Remember, don't try to change your other part. With less complain, and more respect, I'm sure you will have a happier life. happy life, happy husband and wife.
