The mathematics of love

爱情数学

L8-U1-P1: The Math of Love 1

1

Today I want to tell to you about the mathematics of love.

今天我想和你们聊一下关于爱情的数学。

2

Now, I think that we can all agree that mathematicians are famously excellent at finding love.

我认为我们都认同数学家在寻找爱情方面出了名的优秀。

这篇文章我反复跟读了若干遍，某一次读到这句话的时候，突然想到这是不是在调侃诺贝尔？因为他的妻子就是跟一个数学家跑了。

3

But it's not just because of our dashing personalities, superior conversational skills and excellent pencil cases.

但这不仅仅是因为我们迷人的个性，出众的聊天技巧和好看的铅笔盒。

dashing adj. （尤指男子）风度翩翩的，浪漫迷人的；时髦的，流行的

eg：He's a dashing man, but he has been divorced 3 times.

这里的excellent pencil cases算是个小幽默

4

It's also because we've actually done an awful lot of work into the maths of how to find the perfect partner.

也因为我们实际上在数学上做了大量功课，关于如何找到理想伴侣。

awful 表示程度很深，去掉不影响理解，类似修饰的用法在前面TED演讲中出现多次了

math是美式用法， mathmatics 的简称。

maths是英式用法，源于 mathmatics, 是复数名词，但是用法是按单数名词。

math和maths完全等效，就如同前面出现过的mom和mum。

5

Now, in my favorite paper on the subject, which is entitled, "Why I Don't Have a Girlfriend" -- Peter Backus tries to rate his chances of finding love.

关于这个话题，我最喜欢的一个论文标题为：为什么我没个女朋友 -- Peter Backus试图去估算找到爱情的几率。

on the subject 就某话题

eg：They are arguing violently on the subject of whether or not to resign in this tough situation During the period of COVID - 19.

6

Now, Peter's not a very greedy man.

Peter不是个贪婪的男人。

7

Of all of the available women in the UK, all Peter's looking for is

在英国所有合适的女性中，Peter要找的是

8

Somebody who lives near him,

住得离他近，

9

somebody in the right age range,

在适龄区间，

10

somebody with a university degree,

有个大学本科文凭，

11

somebody he's likely to get on well with,

可能与之相处融洽的，

12

Somebody who's likely to be attractive,

有魅力的，

13

Somebody who's likely to find him attractive.

可能发现他有魅力的，

14

And comes up with an estimate of 26 women in the whole of the UK.

然后得到了一个估算，在全英国，只有26个女性。

15

It's not looking very good, is it Peter?

看上去不怎么样，对吗？Peter。

16

Now, just to put that into perspective, that's about 400 times fewer than the best estimates of how many intelligent extraterrestrial life forms there are.

有一说一，这比存在多少外星智慧生命的最乐观估计要小400倍。

put something into perspective 全面公正地看待，在这里，演讲者有点调侃的意思。

eg：Put that into perspective, it was your fault, you should have told them what to do clearly.

这个B站视频是关于外星智能生命数量是如何计算的

Drake equation（德雷克公式）维基百科内容

从图中可以看出，根据这个公式，外星生命最乐观估计有100,000,000个，除以400就是250,000，与下一句中的数字285,000接近。

但是注意，这里拿的是外星生命数量和Peter找到女朋友的概率相对比，而不是拿找到外星生命的概率来对比。

17

And it also gives Peter a 1 in 285,000 chance of bumping into any one of these special ladies on a given night out.

这给了Peter285,000分之一的概率，在某一个外出的晚上碰到其中之一的天选之女。

bump into = encounter 无意中遇到、碰到

night out 节日的夜晚；外出的一夜

eg：Have you heard? Peter has got married just last week, it's said that he bumped into a very beautiful girl on a accidental night out.

18

I'd like to think that's why mathematicians don't really bother going on nights out any longer.

我想这就是为什么数学家不屑于晚上出去的原因吧。

bother doing 费事做；不屑做；麻烦做某事

eg：I'd like to think that you just don't really bother thinking, and that's why you're so slowly when learning a new thing.

19

The thing is that I personally don't subscribe such a pessimistic view.

问题是，我个人不赞同这样一个悲观的观点。

the thing is是一个很常用的口语表达，类似于中文的“问题是”

subscribe vi. 订阅；捐款；认购；赞成；签署

eg：The thing is that I personally don't subscribe to eat in that restaurant, because it's too expensive.

20

Because I know, just as well as all of you do, that love doesn't really work like that.

因为我知道，和你们知道的一样，爱情不是这样的。

21

Human emotion isn't neatly ordered and rational and easily predictable.

人类的情感不是井然有序、理性和易预测的。

22

But I also know that that doesn't mean that mathematics hasn't got something that it can offer us,

我还知道，这不意味着数学无法给我们带来一点帮助。

eg：I'm defeated again, but that doesn't mean it hasn't got something can offer me.

23

Because love, as with most of life, is full of patterns, and mathematics is ultimately all about the study of patterns.

因为爱情，和大多数生活一样，有迹可循，数学最终就是关于规律的研究。

24

Patterns from predicting the weather to the fluctuations in the stock market, to the movement of the planets or the growth of cities.

这种规律从预测天气到股市波动，从地球运动到城市扩张。

25

And if we're being honest, none of those things are exactly neatly ordered and easily predictable, either.

老实说，那些事中没一个是井然有序和易预测的。

26

Because I believe that mathematics is so powerful that it has the potential to offer us a new way of looking at almost anything.

因为我认为，数学很强大，他能给我们观看几乎任何事情一个新的方法。

27

Even something as mysterious as love.

即使有些事情和爱情一样神秘。

28

And so, to try to persuade you of how totally amazing, excellent and relevant mathematics is, I want to give you my top 3 mathematically verifiable tips for love.

为了给你展示数学多么得神奇、优秀和与之相关，我想给你3个在数学上可被验证的重要建议。

verifiable adj. 可证实的；能作证的；可检验的

eg：If your opinion is not verifiable, I'd rather that you didn't say it.

L8-U1-P1: The Math of Love 2

29

Okay, so Top Tip #1: How to win at online dating.

重要建议1：如何玩转网上约会。

30

Ok, so my favorite online dating website is OkCupid, not least because it was started by a group of mathematicians.

我最喜欢的在线约会网站是OkCupid，尤其是因为它是由一群数学家创办的。

31

Now, because they're mathematicians, they have been collecting data on everybody who uses their site for almost a decade.

因为他们是数学家，他们一直在使用他们网站的人身上收集数据，差不多10年了。

我本来只想看看这个网站，结果进去注册了个号，玩了一晚上...

OkCupid

32

And they've been trying to search for patterns in the way that we talk about ourselves and the way that we interact with each other on an online dating website.

他们一直试图在寻找我们谈论自身的方式，以及我们在在线约会网站上相互交流方式的规律。

33

And they've come up with some seriously interesting findings.

他们得到了一些非常有趣的发现。

34

But my particular favorite is that it turns out that on an online dating website, how attractive you are does not dictate how popular you are,

我最喜欢的一点是，结果表明，在在线约会网站中，你有魅力并不表明你很受欢迎，

35

And actually having people think that you're ugly can work to your advantage.

事实上，让人们认为你长得难看，会对你有优势。

36

Let me show you how this works.

我来给你们看下这是怎么回事。

37

Ok, so in a thankfully voluntary section of OkCupid, you are allowed to rate how attractive you think people are on a scale between 1 and 5.

在OkCupid上一个抽样调查环节，让你为人们的魅力打分，分值在1到5.

38

Now, if we compare this score, the average score, to how many messages a selection of people receive, you can begin to get a sense of how attractiveness links to popularity on an online dating website.

如果把这个平均分数，和这群被选中的人所收到的信息做比较，你会开始感觉到，在一个在线约会网站中，魅力和受欢迎程度的关系。

a selection of 一组被挑选出的...

eg：There is a selection of chocolate that you picked just now.

39

Now so this is the graph that the OkCupid guys have come up with.

这是OkCupid上的人给出的图表。

40

And the important thing to notice is that it's not totally true that the more attractive you are, the more messages you get.

有一个重要的事要注意，你魅力越大，收到的信息就越多，这一点不全对。

41

But the question arises then of what is it about people up here who are so much more popular than people down here, even though they have the same score of attractiveness?

有一个问题，为什么处于图表靠上的人比靠下的人更受欢迎，即使他们的魅力值相同？

42

And the reason why is that it's not just straight forward looks that are important.

理由就是：不是只有颜值重要。

43

Ok, so let me try to illustrate their findings with an example.

让我来用一个例子解释下他们的发现。

44

So if you take someone like Portia de Rossi, for example,

假定就以Portia de Rossi为例，

45

Now everybody agrees that Portia de Rossi is a very beautiful woman.

每个人都认同Portia de Rossi是个大美女。

46

Nobody thinks that she's ugly, but she's not a supermodel, either.

没人认为她长得难看，但她也不是个超级模特。

47

Now if you compare Portia de Rossi to someone like Sarah Jessica Parker,

如果你拿Portia de Rossi和Sarah Jessica Parker对比下，

48

now, a lot of people, myself included, I should say, think that Sarah Jessica Parker is seriously fabulous and possibly one of the most beautiful creatures to have ever walked on the face of the Earth.

许多人，包括我自己，认为Sarah Jessica Parker非常棒，或许是地球上有史以来最漂亮的物种之一。

fabulous adj. 难以置信的；传说的，寓言中的；极好的

49

And but some other people, i.e., most of the Internet, seem to think that she looks a bit like a horse.

但是其他一些人，大多数网民，似乎认为她长得有点像个马。

i.e. abbr. 即，也就是 (id est)

50

Now, I think that if you ask people how attractive they thought Sarah Jessica Parker or Portia de Rossi were, and you ask them to give them a score between 1 and 5, I reckon that they'd average out to have roughly the same score.

我们为如果你去问人们，他们认为Sarah Jessica Parker或者Portia de Rossi的魅力多少，然后你让人们为这二者打个分，分值在1到5，我估计他们平均分大致相同。

reckon vt. 测算，估计；认为；计算

average out 最终得到平衡；达到平均数

eg：Through some experts, they reckon that even the smartest people in the world, the IQ of their next generation would gradually average out.

51

But the way that people would vote would be very different.

但是人们投票的方式很不一样。

52

So Portia's scores would all be clustered around the 4 because everybody agrees that she's very beautiful, whereas Sarah Jessica Parker completely divides opinion.

Portia的分数都集中在4分附近，因为所有人都认同她很漂亮，然而Sarah Jessica Parker的情况完全不同。

cluster n. 群；簇；丛；串；vi. 群聚；丛生；vt. 使聚集；聚集在某人的周围

eg：There seems to be an accident ahead, too many people are clustered around there, whereas we just choose to ignore, because we are in a hurry going to the airport.

53

There'd be a huge spread in her scores.

他的分数跨距很广。

54

And actually it's this spread that counts.

事实上正是这种跨距产生了效果。

55

It's this spread that makes you more popular on an online Internet dating website.

正是这种跨距让你在一个在线约会网站上更加受欢迎。

56

So what that means then is that if some people think that you're attractive, you're actually better off having some other people think that you're a massive minger.

这意味着如果一些人认为你有魅力，你最好让一些人认为你是个大屌丝。

minger = an unattractive or malodorous person 无吸引力的人 [英国英语] [非正式]

malodorous adj. 有恶臭的；令人极为反感的；不合法的

eg：So what that means then is that if some people are borrowing money from you frequently and never paying them back, you're actually better off having them think you're a massiver minger, because a massiver minger isn't expected to have money.

57

That's much better than everybody just thinking that you're the cute girl next door.

这比所有人都认为你是个可爱的邻家女孩要好多了。

58

Now, I think this begins to make a bit more sense when you think in terms of the people who are sending these messages.

我认为当你站在那些发送信息的人角度来思考的时候，这件事开始变得有意义了。

eg：I think we should show more sympathy when we think in terms of the graduates who are graduating during the covid-19 epidemic.

59

So let's say that you think somebody's attractive, but you suspect that other people won't necessarily be that interested.

假设你认为某人有魅力，但是你猜其他人对其不感兴趣。

let's say that = for example 比方说；假设

eg：Let's say that, when you judge people, you shouldn't think that other people have the good condiction like you.

60

That means there's less competition for you and it's an extra incentive for you to get in touch.

这意味着你面临的竞争很少，这给了你额外的激励去接触对方。

61

Whereas compare that to if you think somebody is attractive but you suspect that everybody is going to think they're attractive.

相比之下，如果你认为某人有魅力，并且你猜所有人都会认为他们有魅力。

62

Well, why would you bother humiliating yourself, let's be honest?

何必去自取其辱呢，乖乖？

humiliate vt. 羞辱；使…丢脸；耻辱

eg：Only the weak person cares about being humilated.

63

Here's where the really interesting part comes.

这才是最有趣的地方。

64

Because when people choose the pictures that they use on an online dating website, they often try to minimize the things that they think some people will find unattractive.

因为当人们选择在一个在线约会网站中使用的照片时，它们通常会去美化人们眼中的瑕疵。

65

So the classic example is people who are, perhaps, a little bit overweight deliberately choosing a very cropped photo,

经典例子就是，有点胖的人故意选了一个裁剪后的照片，

crop vt. 种植；收割；修剪；剪短

eg：I think I should crop my hair now, because it has grown 3 months.

66

or bald men, for example, deliberately choosing pictures where they're wearing hats.

或者比如说秃头男性，故意选戴着帽子的照片。

67

But actually this is the opposite of what you should do if you want to be successful.

但事实上，如果你想受欢迎，你应该做得是与此相反。

68

You should really, instead, play up to whatever it is that makes you different, even if you think that some people will find it unattractive.

相反，你应该表现出让你与众不同的点，即使你认为这点辣眼睛。

play up to 迎合；讨好；给…当配角

eg：If you don't know how to interact with people, you can begin to play up to them, even if if it's a little weird.

69

Because the people who fancy you are just going to fancy you anyway, and the unimportant losers who don't, well, they only play up to your advantage.

因为粉你的人依然会粉你，而那些不粉你的键盘侠，只会使你更强大。

突然想到了蔡徐坤和黄晓明。

L8-U1-P1: The Math of Love 3

70

Okay, Top Tip #2: How to pick the perfect partner.

重要建议2：如何选择完美的伴侣。

71

So let's imagine then that you're a roaring success on the dating scene.

我们想象下，你在约会方面非常成功。

roaring 吼叫的，喧闹的；（非正式）十足的

eg：She's such a roaring indenpendent girl.

72

But the question arises of how do you then convert that success into longer-term happiness and in particular, how do you decide when is the right time to settle down?

但是有个问题，你如何把这种成功转化成长期的幸福，特别是你如何决定什么时候成家？

eg：You've read a lot of books, but the question arises of how do you then convert these contents into action and in particular, how do you use them to change your life?

73

Now generally, it's not advisable to just cash in and marry the first person who comes along and shows you any interest at all.

通常，不建议上来就和第一个看对眼的人奔现、结婚。

74

But, equally, you don't really want to leave it too long if you want to maximize your chance of long-term happiness.

同样地，如果你想增加长期幸福的几率，你也不想花太长时间去寻找。

75

As my favorite author, Jane Austen, puts it, "An unmarried woman of seven and twenty can never hope to feel or inspire affection again."

就如我最喜欢的作家，Jane Austen说的：“一个27岁的未婚女性已不会再爱了”

这句话的出处：Sense and Sensibility

这个作者还写过一本很出名的书，叫Pride and prejudice

76

Thanks a lot, Jane.

我谢谢你噢，Jane。

77

What do you know about love?

你对爱情了解多少？

78

But okay, so the question is then, how do you know when is the right time to settle down given all the people that you could date in your lifetime?

所以问题是，你如何知道在你一生要约会的人中，什么时候去成家最好呢？

79

Now thankfully, there's a rather delicious bit of mathematics that we can use to help us out here, called optimal stopping theory.

幸好，这里有一个很有趣的数学方法可以帮助我们，叫做最优停止理论。

optimal adj. 最佳的；最理想的

eg：Choose a way immediately may not seem to be the optimal way, but it's must be the most effective way.

80

Ok, so let's imagine then, that you start dating when you're 15 and ideally, you'd like to be married by the time that you're 35.

让我们想象下，你在15岁开始约会，你想在35岁之前结婚。

81

And then there's a number of people that you could potentially date across your lifetime, and they'll be at varying levels of goodness.

在你一生中，有许多潜在的约会对象，他们的段位不同。

eg：If we pick the school by lottery, then the class your kids are going to will have varying levels of students.

82

Now the rules are that once you cash in and get married, you can't look ahead to see what you could have had, and equally, you can't go back and change your mind.

规则是，一旦你奔现结婚，你就不能瞻前顾后，摇摆不定。

83

In my experience at least, I find that typically people don't much like being recalled years after being passed up for somebody else, or that's just me.

至少照我的经验，人们特别不喜欢在多年后，被那些筛选掉自己的人重新选择，或者只有我是这样。

84

Ok, so the math says then that what you should do in the first 37 percent of your dating window, you should just reject everybody as serious marriage potential.

所以数学告诉我们，你在约会的前37%中，你应该拒绝所有潜在结婚对象。

这个数字的由来

85

And then, you should pick the next person that comes along that is better than everybody that you've seen before.

然后，你应该挑选下一个人中，比前面遇到的所有人都好的那个。

86

So here's the example.

以下是个例子。

87

Now if you do this, it can be mathematically proven, in fact, that this is the best possible way of maximizing your chances of finding the perfect partner.

如果你这么做了，在数学上能够证明，事实上，这是最大化找到最佳伴侣几率的最好办法。

88

Now unfortunately, I have to tell you that this method does come with some risks.

不幸的是，我必须要告诉你这个方法也伴随有一些风险。

I have to tell you这一句实在是听不出来。

89

For instance, imagine if your perfect partner appeared during your first 37 percent.

比方说，如果你的最佳伴侣出现在最初的37%中。

90

Now, unfortunately, you'd have to reject them.

不幸的是，你需要拒绝他们。

91

Now, if you're following the maths, I'm afraid no one else comes along that's better than anyone you've seen before, so you have to go on rejecting everyone and die alone.

如果你遵循这个数学方法，当没有人比你之前遇到的所有人更好的时候，恐怕你不得不拒绝所有人，然后孤独终老。

92

Probably surrounded by cats nibbling at your remains.

或许沉迷撸猫。

nibble vt. 细咬；一点一点地咬；吹毛求疵

eg：Wow, this white rabbit is nibbling at my finger and it's a bit itchy.

remains在这里指遗体，作者应该有点调侃的意思。

93

Okay, another risk is, let's imagine, instead, that the first people that you dated in your first 37 percent are just incredibly dull, boring, terrible people.

另一个风险是，与前面相反，你在前37%遇到的人是一群臭屌丝。

94

Now, that's okay, because you're in your rejection phase, so that's fine, you can reject them.

好嘛，因为你处在拒绝阶段，所以你会拒绝他们。

95

But then imagine, the next person to come along is just marginally less boring, dull and terrible than everybody that you've seen before.

然后想象下，下一个出现的人只比前面你遇到的好一丢丢。

96

Now, if you are following the maths, I'm afraid you have to marry them and end up in a relationship which is, frankly, suboptimal.

如果你遵循这个数学方法，恐怕你必须与ta结婚，然后结束一段不怎么样的感情。

97

Sorry about that.

略略略。

98

But I do think that there's an opportunity here for Hallmark to cash in on and really cater for this market.

但我确实认为贺曼公司有机会利用这一点，真正迎合这个市场。

Hallmark公司

99

A Valentine's Day card like this.

一个像这样的情人节卡片。

100

"My darling husband, you are marginally less terrible than the first 37 percent of people I dated."

“我亲爱的丈夫，你比我约会的前37%人要稍微好一点。”

101

It's actually more romantic than I normally manage.

这事实上比我平常设想的还要浪漫些。

102

Okay, so this method doesn't give you a 100 percent success rate, but there's no other possible strategy that can do any better.

这个方法不会给你100%的成功率，但是也没其它更好的可行策略了。

103

And actually, in the wild, there are certain types of fish which follow and employ this exact strategy.

事实上，在野生环境中，有种鱼就遵循和应用这个策略。

104

So they reject every possible suitor that turns up in the first 37 percent of the mating season,

所以他们在交配季节，就会拒绝前37%的所有可能配对者。

105

and then they pick the next fish that comes along after that window, that's bigger and burlier than all of the fish that they've seen before.

然后他们挑选在前37%后，比前面所有的鱼更大更壮的那个。

106

But I also think that subconsciously, humans, we do sort of do this anyway.

我也认为，人类在潜意识地，也在这么做。

subconsciously adv. 潜意识地

eg：humans will be very nervous subconsciously when they feel the danger.

107

We give ourselves a little bit of time to play the field, get a feel for the marketplace or whatever when we're young.

我们给自己一点时间去浪，适应下情场，年轻时候多去经历。

play the field 恋爱不专一；滥交情人

eg：You just go on playing the field, then the result is you will lose the ability to really love someone.

108

And then we need start looking, where you need start looking seriously at potential marriage candidates once we hit our mid-to-late 20s.

我们需要在20多岁的中后期开始认真关注潜在结婚对象。

109

I think this is a conclusive proof, if ever it were needed, that everybody's brains are prewired to be just a little bit mathematical.

这是一个确定性的证明，如果有必要的话，每个人的大脑都被预设了一点数学。

if ever 如果有过的话；如果曾经

prewired adj. 预配的

eg：If ever my computer was prewired with wireless, it would be more convient.

L8-U1-P1: The Math of Love 4

110

Okay, so that was Top Tip #2.

以上是重要建议2.

111

Now, Top Tip #3: How to avoid divorce.

接下来是重要建议3：如何避免离婚。

112

Okay, so let's imagine then that you picked your perfect partner and you're settling into a lifelong relationship with them.

我们想象一下，你挑选了你的理想伴侣，你和ta开始长相厮守。

113

Now, I like to think that everybody would ideally like to avoid divorce, apart from, I don't know, Piers Morgan's wife, maybe?

我认为每个人都不想离婚，也许除了Piers Morgan的妻子吧。

Piers Morgan结过很多次婚。

114

But it's a sad fact of modern life that 1 in 2 marriages in the States ends in divorce, with the rest of the world not being far behind.

有一个悲伤的事实，在英国，每2对夫妻就有1对离婚，世界上其它地方也差不多。

115

Now, you could be forgiven, perhaps for thinking that the arguments that precede a marital breakup are not an ideal candidate for mathematical investigation.

现在，你可能会认为，婚姻破裂前的争吵不是数学研究的理想对象，这是可以原谅的。

precede vt. 领先，在…之前；优于，高于

marital adj. 婚姻的；夫妇间的

eg：Precede a marital relationship, you should know your wife or husband a lot.

116

For one thing, it's very hard to know what you should be measuring or what you should be quantifying.

首先，很难知道你应该测量什么，应该量化什么。

117

But this didn't stop a psychologist, John Gottman, who did exactly that.

但是这无法阻止一个心理学家，John Gottman做到了这个。

118

And he observed, Gottman observed hundreds of couples having a conversation and recorded, well, everything you can think of.

塔观察了成百上千对情侣的谈话，然后记录了你能想到的所有事。

119

So he recorded what was said in the conversation,

它记录了对话的内容，

120

he recorded their skin conductivity,

他记录了他们的皮肤导电性。

121

he recorded their facial expressions, their heart rates, their blood pressure,

它记录了他们的面部表情，他们的心率，他们的血压，

122

basically everything apart from whether or not the wife was actually always right, which incidentally she totally is.

基本上是所有事情，除了这个妻子是否总是正确，当然她总是对的。

incidentally adv. 顺便；偶然地；附带地

eg：I've gone out just now and incidentally bought a present for you, surprise.

123

But what Gottman found, what Gottman and his team found was that one of the most important predictors for whether or not a couple is going to get divorced was how positive or negative each partner was being in the conversation.

Gottman和他的团队发现，一对夫妻是否将要离婚最重要的前兆就是：双方在对话中积极或消极的程度。

124

Now, couples that were very low-risk scored a lot more positive points on Gottman's scale than negative.

低风险的夫妻在Gottman的评估体系中，获得的积极分相比消极分的更多。

125

Whereas bad relationships, by which I mean, probably going to get divorced, they found themselves getting into a spiral of negativity.

然后差的关系，我的意思是，可能会走向离婚的关系，他们发现自己掉进了消极的漩涡。

126

Now just by using these very simple ideas, Gottman and his group were able to predict whether a given couple was going to get divorced with a 90 percent accuracy.

通过使用那些简单的方法，Gottman和他的团队能够判断一对夫妻是否会离婚，准确率达90%。

127

But it wasn't until he teamed up with a mathematician, James Murray, that they really started to understand what causes these negativity spirals and how they occur.

直到他和一个叫James Murray的数学家组队，他们才真正开始理解是什么导致了那些消极漩涡以及这是如何发生的。

128

And the results that they found I think are just incredibly impressively simple and interesting.

我认为他们的结果非常的简单和有趣。

129

Okay, so these equations, they predict how the wife or husband is going to respond in their next turn of the conversation, how positive or negative they're going to be.

所以那些公式，他们预测这个妻子或丈夫会在下一轮的对话中如何回应，他们会多么积极或消极。

130

And these equations, they depend on the mood of the person when they're on their own, the mood of the person when they're with their partner,

那些公式，基于他们独处时的状态，他们与伴侣在一起的状态，

131

but most importantly, they depend on how much the husband and wife influence one another

但最重要的是，他们依赖于这个丈夫或妻子对对方的影响

132

Now, I think it's important to point out at this stage, that these exact equations have also been shown to be perfectly able at describing what happens between two countries in an arms race.

我认为在这种情况下很需要指出来，那些确切的公式也能完美地描述两个国家在军备竞赛中发生了什么。

133

So that -- an arguing couple spiraling into negativity and teetering on the brink of divorce -- is actually mathematically equivalent to the beginning of a nuclear war.

所以 -- 一对争吵不休的夫妻掉进消极的漩涡，在离婚的边缘疯狂试探 -- 事实上在数学上等同于核战争开始前。

teeter v. 摇晃，摇摇欲坠；举棋不定

brink 边缘

eg：He has been working for 24 hours continueously, and he's teetering on the brink of asleep.

134

But the really important term in this equation is the influence that people have on one another, and in particular, something called the negativity threshold.

在这个公式中最重要的一项是双方对对方的影响，特别是，被人们成为消极阈值的东西。

135

Now the negavity threshold you can think of as how annoying the husband can be before the wife starts to get really pissed off basically and vice versa.

这个消极阈值，你可以理解为丈夫在妻子开始暴怒前会有多生气，反之亦然。

136

Now, I always thought that good marriages were about compromise and understanding and allowing the person to have the space to be themselves.

我曾经认为好的婚姻就是妥协和理解以及给对方独处的空间。

137

So I would have thought that perhaps the most successful relationships were ones where there was a really high negativity threshold.

所以我会认为或许最成功的关系就是有很高的消极阈值。

138

Where couples let things go and only brought things up if they really were a big deal.

这样的夫妻不计较小事，只处理真正的大事。

139

But actually, the mathematics and subsequent findings by the team have shown the exact opposite is true.

但事实上，这个团队的数学和随后的发现表明，事实正好相反。

140

The best couples, or the most successful couples, are the ones with a really low negativity threshold.

最好的夫妻，或者最成功的夫妻，拥有相当低的消极阈值。

141

These are the couples that don't let anything go unnoticed and allow each other some room to complain.

他们是不放过任何事，并且给予对方抱怨空间的夫妻。

142

These are the couples that are continually trying to repair their own relationship, and they have a much more positive outlook on their marriage.

他们是不断试图修复他们关系的夫妻，他们的婚姻有一个更加积极的态度。

143

Couples that don't let things go and couples that don't let trivial things end up being a really big deal.

这种夫妻不妥协，不会让小事变大。

144

Now of course, it takes a bit more than just a low negativity threshold and not compromising to have a successful relationship.

当然，要想拥有一段成功的感情，需要的不仅仅是一个低的消极门槛和不妥协。

145

But I think that it's quite interesting to know that there is really mathematical evidence to say that you should never let the sun go down on your anger.

但我认为这很有趣，有数学证据道：不可含怒到日落。

let the sun go down on your anger 指的就是要把当下的烦心事快速抖落出来，别憋着

146

Okay, so those are my top three tips of how maths can help you with love and relationships.

所以以上就是我的3个重要建议，数学如何在爱情关系中帮到你。

147

But I hope that aside from their use as tips, they also give you a little bit of insight into the power of mathematics.

但是我希望，除了使用这些建议外，他们也让你对于数学的力量有了一些窥探。

148

Because for me, equations and symbols aren't just a thing.

因为对我来说，公式和符号并不仅仅是公式和符号。

149

They're a voice that speaks out about the incredible richness of nature and the startling simplicity in the patterns that twist and turn and warp and evolve all around us, from how the world works to how we behave.

有一种声音关于自然的精彩绝伦以及规律的极简，这种规律变化不一，衍生一切，从世界的运转到我们的行为。

warp vt. 使变形；使有偏见；曲解

eg：If you always let the sun go down on your anger, it may warp your personality.

150

So I hope that perhaps, for just a couple of you, a little bit of insight into the mathematics of love can persuade you to have a little bit more love for mathematics.

所以我希望，或许对你们来说，深入了解一点点关于爱情的数学能够让你对数学多一点喜爱。