We’ve all been there: in a lift, in line at the bank or on an airplane, surrounded by people who are, like us, deeply focused on their smartphones or, worse, struggling with the uncomfortable silence.
我们都经历过：在电梯里，在银行排队，或者在飞机上，周围都是像我们一样专注于手机的人，或者更糟糕的是，在令人不安的沉默中挣扎。
What’s the problem? It’s possible that we all have compromised conversational intelligence. It’s more likely that none of us start a conversation because it’s awkward and challenging, or we think it’s annoying and unnecessary. But the next time you find yourself among strangers, consider that small talk is worth the trouble. Experts say it’s an invaluable social practice that results in big benefits.
问题是什么呢？有可能我们每个人都不善于开口说话。更可能是，开口说话会尴尬，而且具有挑战性，或者我们认为这很烦人，没有必要。但是下次你会在陌生人中发现，闲聊是值得的。专家说，这是一种非常宝贵的社会实践，能带来巨大的好处。
Dismissing small talk as unimportant is easy, but we can’t forget that deep relationships wouldn’t even exist if it weren’t for casual conversation. Small talk is the grease for social communication, says Bernardo Carducci, director of the Shyness Research Institute at Indiana University Southeast. ＂Almost every great love story and each big business deal begins with small talk,＂ he explains. ＂The key to successful small talk is learning how to connect with others, not just communicate with them.＂
将闲聊视为无关紧要很容易，但我们不能忘记，如果没有闲聊，深厚的关系就不会存在。印第安那大学害羞研究所所长贝尔纳多•卡杜奇说过，闲聊是社交的润滑剂。“几乎每一个伟大的爱情故事和每一笔大生意都是从闲聊开始，”他解释道，“成功的闲聊的关键是学会如何与他人联系，而不仅仅是与他们交流。”
In a 2014 study, Elizabeth Dunn, associate professor of psychology at UBC, invited people on their way into a coffee shop. One group was asked to seek out an interaction with its waiter; the other, to speak only when necessary. The results showed that those who chatted with their server reported significantly higher positive feelings and a better coffee shop experience. ＂It’s not that talking to the waiter is better than talking to your husband,＂ says Dunn. ＂But interactions with peripheral members of our social network matter for our well-being also.＂
在2014年的一项研究中，UBC心理学副教授伊丽莎白·邓恩邀请人们去咖啡馆。一组要求与服务员互动；另一组只要求在必要时发言。结果表明，那些与服务员聊天的人有更高的积极感受和更好的咖啡店体验。”这并不是说和服务员说话比和你丈夫说话好，”邓恩说，“但与我们社交网络的边缘成员互动对我们的幸福也很重要。”
Dunn believes that people who reach out to strangers feel a significantly greater sense of belonging, a bond with others. Carducci believes developing such a sense of belonging starts with small talk. ＂Small talk is the basis of good manners,＂ he says.
邓恩认为，与陌生人接触会感觉到更强烈的归属感和与他人的联系。卡杜奇认为，培养这种归属感始于闲聊。”闲聊是礼貌的基础，”他说。
