A kinder, gentler philosophy of success  Alain de Botton

艾倫·狄波頓:一種更寬容,更溫和的成功哲學 from ted.com

For me they normally happen, these career crises, often, actually, on a Sunday evening, just as the sun is starting to set, and the gap between my hopes for myself and the reality of my life starts to diverge so painfully that I normally end up weeping into a pillow.

所謂的「職業危機」對我來說，通常發生在禮拜天晚上，隨著夜幕開始低垂，自我期盼和生活現實之間的鴻溝，也令人痛苦的開始拉扯擴大，以至於最後總是以哭泣進入夢鄉,結束了我的週末夜。

I'm mentioning all this -- I'm mentioning all this because I think this is not merely a personal problem; you may think I'm wrong in this, but I think we live in an age when our lives are regularly punctuated by career crises, by moments when what we thought we knew -- about our lives, about our careers -- comes into contact with a threatening sort of reality.

提到這些，無非因為,這不僅只是個人問題，或許你不是很同意，我認為,生活在這個世代,你我的人生進行式,常常，被這些職場危機所中斷，往往就在我們自以為知道，人生為何,何為生涯的時候，不期然卻遇上了衝擊 - 現實的威脅。

It's perhaps easier now than ever before to make a good living.  It's perhaps harder than ever before to stay calm, to be free of career anxiety.  I want to look now, if I may, at some of the reasons why we might be feeling anxiety about our careers.  Why we might be victims of these career crises, as we're weeping softly into our pillows.

現在要過好日子,是前所未見的簡單，但能保有一顆平靜心,又能免於生涯焦慮，也是史上空前的困難，如果能夠的話,我想探索的是，某些問題的答案,譬如:是什麼讓我們對生涯感到焦慮，為什麼我們成為職場危機的犧牲品，為什麼淪落到以啜泣進入枕頭鄉,週末夜畫上句點?

One of the reasons why we might be suffering is that we are surrounded by snobs.  In a way, I've got some bad news, particularly to anybody who's come to Oxford from abroad.  There's a real problem with snobbery, because sometimes people from outside the U.K.  imagine that snobbery is a distinctively U.K. phenomenon, fixated on country houses and titles.

折磨我們的其中一個原因，是因為,身邊到處都是勢利鬼，現在我要跟各位說個壞消息，尤其對從國外來訪牛津的各位來說，勢利真是大問題，因為在英國以外的人往往都以為，勢利是英國的特產，所聯想到的是鄉間大宅以及爵位頭銜。

The bad news is that's not true.  Snobbery is a global phenomenon; we are a global organization, this is a global phenomenon.

壞消息是，你錯了，勢利無所不在，這是個全球化組織。勢利問題是一個全球現象，沒錯,果真如此。

What is a snob?  A snob is anybody who takes a small part of you, and uses that to come to a complete vision of who you are.  That is snobbery.

沒錯,果真如此.但何謂勢利呢?，勢利就是:任何人,切割了一小部分的你，並且用它取代了「你是誰」的意義，這,就是勢利。

The dominant kind of snobbery that exists nowadays is job snobbery.  You encounter it within minutes at a party, when you get asked that famous iconic question of the early 21st century, "What do you do?"

現今最主要的勢利，叫做職業勢利，去任何宴會,五分鐘之內就會遇見，這個21世紀初,最具代表性的，經典問題:「你在哪裡上班?」

According to how you answer that question, people are either incredibly delighted to see you, or look at their watch and make their excuses.  (Laughter)

根據你對該問題的回答，人們要不就是立刻對認識你感到無比的歡愉，或者是他們只看一下手錶,就立刻想到一個結束談話的藉口，(笑聲)

Now, the opposite of a snob is your mother.  (Laughter)

再來,勢利鬼的相反呢,就是您的母親。 (笑聲)

Not necessarily your mother, or indeed mine, but, as it were, the ideal mother, somebody who doesn't care about your achievements.  Unfortunately, most people are not our mothers.

並不一定真的是您的母親,或我的母親，而是一種理想定義下的完美母親，她,完全不在乎你的成就高低，但不幸的是,不是每個人都是您母親。

Most people make a strict correlation between how much time, and if you like, love -- not romantic love, though that may be something -- but love in general, respect -- they are willing to accord us, that will be strictly defined by our position in the social hierarchy.  And that's a lot of the reason why we care so much about our careers and indeed start caring so much about material goods.

大多數人在「該花多少時間和多少...愛」這件事情上,有嚴格定規，我說的不是愛情電影裡那種浪漫的愛，雖然那也包括在內，但我要說的是比較普通,一般性質的,愛，人們願意分配多少時間和愛給我們,那是嚴格的按照著，我們所擁有的社會階級來定義的，那就是為什麼我們對工作職業那麼在乎的很重要原因，並且我們非常關切物質上的財富。

You know, we're often told that we live in very materialistic times, that we're all greedy people.  I don't think we are particularly materialistic.  I think we live in a society which has simply pegged certain emotional rewards to the acquisition of material goods.  It's not the material goods we want; it's the rewards we want.

大家常說我們生活在一個唯物化的時代，說我們全是貪婪一族，我不認為我們是特別唯物的世代，而我想,是我們所存在的這個社會，它把一些情感的獎勵，掛鉤在物質的取得上，我們要的不是物質財富.其實我們要的是那份掛在上面的獎勵。

It's a new way of looking at luxury goods.  The next time you see somebody driving a Ferrari, don't think, "This is somebody who's greedy." Think, "This is somebody who is incredibly vulnerable and in need of love." (Laughter)

這使我們對奢侈財有了新的觀點，下次看到開法拉利跑車的人，不要想:「這傢伙一定是貪心鬼」，你該這麼想:「喔,這個人脆弱到不行,他需要很多愛」，換句話說 -- (笑聲)。

Feel sympathy, rather than contempt.  There are other reasons -- (Laughter)

要對他有同情心,不要鄙視他，還有其他原因 -- (笑聲)

There are other reasons why it's perhaps harder now to feel calm than ever before.  One of these, and it's paradoxical, because it's linked to something that's rather nice, is the hope we all have for our careers.  Never before have expectations been so high about what human beings can achieve with their lifespan.

還有一些其他原因,使我們如今比過往更難，保有平靜安穩的心，其中一項是-而這相當矛盾,因為這個原因和一種頗為美好的東西連結著，那是對職業的期盼，從來沒有一個時代像現在,人對工作職業能有，如此高的期待,一生中能成就這麼多了不起的事情。

We're told, from many sources, that anyone can achieve anything.  We've done away with the caste system, we are now in a system where anyone can rise to any position they please.  And it's a beautiful idea.

許多訊息都灌輸:任何人都能成就任何事，我們早已擺脫世襲制或種姓制，最新的制度是人人都有出頭天，只要你喜歡,沒什麼能限制你，這想法棒透了。

Along with that is a kind of spirit of equality; we're all basically equal.  There are no strictly defined hierarchies.  There is one really big problem with this, and that problem is envy.

伴隨而來的是平等精神.人都生而平等，沒有界線限定，這裡沒有任何的階級，這裡只有一個問題，唯一的問題,就是嫉妒。

Envy, it's a real taboo to mention envy, but if there's one dominant emotion in modern society, that is envy.  And it's linked to the spirit of equality.  Let me explain.

嫉妒真是個禁忌話題,大家都避而不談，但如果說我們的社會有哪個情感問題非常氾濫,非嫉妒莫數，而它還與平等精神相關.容我解釋。

I think it would be very unusual for anyone here, or anyone watching, to be envious of the Queen of England.  Even though she is much richer than any of you are, and she's got a very large house, the reason why we don't envy her is because she's too weird.  (Laughter)

我想現場在座的各位和觀賞影片的各位,應該都很難...，去嫉妒到-英國女王吧，儘管她比我們大多數人都富有，並且她家房子真的很大，我們卻不嫉妒她,因為她真的太怪了。

She's simply too strange.  We can't relate to her, she speaks in a funny way, she comes from an odd place.  So we can't relate to her, and when you can't relate to somebody, you don't envy them.  The closer two people are -- in age, in background, in the process of identification -- the more there's a danger of envy,

我們和她扯不上半點關連性.她講話就是那麼令人想笑.，她又來自一個很怪異的地方，我們和她沒有共通點.而當你和某人之間不具任何關聯性,你就不會忌妒他，兩個在年齡,在背景上愈接近的人，就愈可能發生忌妒問題。

which is incidentally why none of you should ever go to a school reunion, because there is no stronger reference point than people one was at school with.  The problem of modern society is it turns the whole world into a school.  Everybody's wearing jeans, everybody's the same.  And yet, they're not.

提醒你,為什麼大家最好千萬別去參加什麼「同學會」啦，因為在學校裡和你一起鬼混的那班同學，你們之間所共有的參照點實在太強了，問題是,現代社會卻早已經把全世界都搞成一間超級大的學校了,，每個人都穿牛仔褲,每個人都一樣，其實,每個人又怎可能都相同。

So there's a spirit of equality combined with deep inequality, which can make for a very stressful situation.

所以這種平等精神,是在深處參混了許多不平等的，於是造成了 -- 或是說「將可能會造成」-- 一種非常緊張的狀態。

It's probably as unlikely that you would nowadays become as rich and famous as Bill Gates, as it was unlikely in the 17th century that you would accede to the ranks of the French aristocracy.

今天你要成為一位像比爾蓋茲ㄧ樣有錢的大人物，幾乎是不可能，即便有此可能,就像你活在17世紀，生而貴族,繼承著法國貴族身份一樣的,非常不可能。

But the point is, it doesn't feel that way.  It's made to feel, by magazines and other media outlets, that if you've got energy, a few bright ideas about technology, a garage -- you, too, could start a major thing.  (Laughter)

但重點是,感覺起來卻不是那麼回事呀，無論雜誌或各種媒體,都一再的讓你感覺到，只要你精力充沛,對科技有一些絕佳的創意點子，再配上個車庫,你也可以白手起家搞出一番大事業，(笑聲)

The consequences of this problem make themselves felt in bookshops.  When you go to a large bookshop and look at the self-help sections, as I sometimes do -- if you analyze self-help books produced in the world today, there are basically two kinds.

這個問題的後續結果在書店裡鮮活的呈現出來,人們也能感受，當你走進大書店走向自我提昇/心理區，這是我自己偶爾也會去逛的那一區，如果你分析一下自我/心理架上的那些書，基本上是分為兩類。

The first kind tells you, "You can do it!  You can make it! Anything's possible!" The other kind tells you how to cope with what we politely call "low self-esteem," or impolitely call, "feeling very bad about yourself."

第一種跟你說,「你能!你一定會成功!沒有不可能!」，另一種則敎你的是如何適應,應付一些問題，一些我們禮貌性的稱之為「自我認知低落」的問題，或直接講,就是「覺得自己很爛」的問題。

There's a real correlation between a society that tells people that they can do anything, and the existence of low self-esteem.  So that's another way in which something quite positive can have a nasty kickback.

這裡有一種真實的互動性,，在社會中有一種真實的互動關係存在,他告訴人們你潛力無限，同時也說你有個低落的自我認知，以致於從某種角度來說,明明是正面的某樣事物，結果帶來負面的,反效果。

There is another reason why we might be feeling more anxious -- about our careers, about our status in the world today, than ever before.  And it's, again, linked to something nice.  And that nice thing is called meritocracy.

還有一個原因令我們感到焦慮，在工作上,在社會地位上感到焦慮.並且是當今世代特有,前所未見的，而再一次,又是和一些美好的事物相關連，這樣好東西,叫做功績主義。

Everybody, all politicians on Left and Right, agree that meritocracy is a great thing, and we should all be trying to make our societies really, really meritocratic.

政治上無論左派右派，都同意功績-論功行賞-是件好事情，我們應該非常非常努力,讓我們的社會按照功績原理運作。

In other words -- what is a meritocratic society?  A meritocratic society is one in which, if you've got talent and energy and skill, you will get to the top, nothing should hold you back.

換句話說,什麼是功績社會呢?，功績社會就是呢，只要你有天份有動力有技能，你就會爬到最高階級,沒什麼能擋你的路。

It's a beautiful idea.  The problem is, if you really believe in a society where those who merit to get to the top, get to the top, you'll also, by implication, and in a far more nasty way, believe in a society where those who deserve to get to the bottom also get to the bottom and stay there.

這想法好得無比,但問題是:，當你真的相信一個社會之中，所有有功勞的人都爬上了最頂的地位，同時你也就默認,並且是以一種相當醜惡的方式相信著，那些在我們社會中處在最底端的人,是活該，去到那最低下處,並且,活該就讓他們繼續在那兒待著吧。

In other words, your position in life comes to seem not accidental, but merited and deserved.  And that makes failure seem much more crushing.

也就是說,你看待生命中地位如何,並非偶然而已，而是功績和活該，這為失敗更加增添了支離破碎的面目，

You know, in the Middle Ages, in England, when you met a very poor person, that person would be described as an "unfortunate" -- literally, somebody who had not been blessed by fortune, an unfortunate.  Nowadays, particularly in the United States, if you meet someone at the bottom of society, they may unkindly be described as a "loser."

我們都知道,在中世紀英國，當你碰上了一個非常窮的人，你會形容他是「不幸」，字面意義是,「財富/幸運」沒有眷顧到這個人,他是個「無財富/不幸」的人，現在,特別是在美國，如果你碰到某個來自社會低階級的人，他們被很惡劣的稱為「失敗者」。

There's a real difference between an unfortunate and a loser, and that shows 400 years of evolution in society and our belief in who is responsible for our lives.  It's no longer the gods, it's us.  We're in the driving seat.

其實在不幸者和失敗者之間,是真的有所差異的，這顯示出我們的社會經歷了400年進化後，對於相信「誰必須對自己的人生負責」的信仰變化，不再是神主導,而是自己.那位坐在駕駛座上的人,正是我們自己。

That's exhilarating if you're doing well, and very crushing if you're not.  It leads, in the worst cases -- in the analysis of a sociologist like Emil Durkheim -- it leads to increased rates of suicide.

若得心應手,一帆風順,想當然是心曠神怡.，反之,一敗不起.，最糟糕的狀況,以社會學家分析的結果,是可能導致，如Emil Durkheim的研究指出,導致自殺比例的攀升。

There are more suicides in developed, individualistic countries than in any other part of the world.  And some of the reason for that is that people take what happens to them extremely personally -- they own their success, but they also own their failure.  在已開發,強調個人主義的國家中的自殺案例

明顯較世界其他地區多許多，其中的一些原因是人把發生在自己身上的所有事情，極端的,完全歸咎於自己，他們擁有著自己完全的成功.但同時也擁有完全的失敗。

Is there any relief from some of these pressures that I've been outlining?  I think there is.  I just want to turn to a few of them.

有沒有能從這些壓力中得到釋放的方法呢?，在我敘述了這許多壓力之後?，我想是有的.我要針對其中幾個講一下.，

Let's take meritocracy.  This idea that everybody deserves to get where they get to, I think it's a crazy idea, completely crazy.  I will support any politician of Left and Right, with any halfway-decent meritocratic idea; I am a meritocrat in that sense.

以功績主義來說，我認為活該有些人該去到比較糟糕的地位上的這種心態，這是個瘋狂的想法,完全瘋狂，無論左派右派,我支持任何政治人物，只要大方向上走在功績主義上,我都支持，我是不折不扣的功績主義者,就這麼簡單。

But I think it's insane to believe that we will ever make a society that is genuinely meritocratic; it's an impossible dream.  The idea that we will make a society where literally everybody is graded, the good at the top, bad at the bottom, exactly done as it should be, is impossible.

但我們要是相信人可以搞出一個全然功績,不偏不倚的社會，這也是個瘋狂的想法,完全不可能的夢想.，以為我們的社會能夠，正確無誤的給每個人批等級給分數，好的都在最上面,不好的都在最下面，並且完全按照應有的功能運作,如此社會和如此概念,是不可能發生的。

There are simply too many random factors: accidents, accidents of birth, accidents of things dropping on people's heads, illnesses, etc.  We will never get to grade them, never get to grade people as they should.

這當中有太多的隨機變數，譬如意外,意外的出生，東西砸在某人頭上的意外,疾病,等等，是我們所根本無從評分起，絕不要按照看來應該如何的原則給人們評分。

I'm drawn to a lovely quote by St. Augustine in "The City of God," where he says, "It's a sin to judge any man by his post." In modern English that would mean it's a sin to come to any view of who you should talk to, dependent on their business card.  It's not the post that should count.

聖奧古斯丁在「上帝之城」書中有一句話深得我心，他說,「按地位來論斷人是一種罪」，用現代英語說,這句話的意思是，罪,就是,你按照要交談的對方在名片上，所印的頭銜對他做出評價,這是罪，地位根本不能算數。

According to St. Augustine, only God can really put everybody in their place; he's going to do that on the Day of Judgment, with angels and trumpets, and the skies will open.  Insane idea, if you're a secularist person, like me.  But something very valuable in that idea, nevertheless.

按聖奧古斯丁說的,，人去往何處,這真是上帝才能決定的，祂會在末日的審判日做這個決定，有天使環繞及號角聲響,天也會打開，如果你是世俗之人,和我一樣,這想法很瘋，但其中卻有非常價值。

In other words, hold your horses when you're coming to judge people.  You don't necessarily know what someone's true value is.  That is an unknown part of them, and we shouldn't behave as though it is known.

換言之,在論斷他人以前,且慢且慢，因你根本不明白某某人真正的價值，那是他們所不為人知的部份，我們便不能以全知的方式來看待他。

There is another source of solace and comfort for all this.  When we think about failing in life, when we think about failure, one of the reasons why we fear failing is not just a loss of income, a loss of status.  What we fear is the judgment and ridicule of others.  And it exists.

另一個慰藉之源,我要講到，當我們想到生命中的失敗,想到了失敗,，其實挫敗令我們懼怕並非僅限於，失去收入,失去地位，我們怕的是批評論斷和嘲笑，這些都是真的。

The number one organ of ridicule, nowadays, is the newspaper.  If you open the newspaper any day of the week, it's full of people who've messed up their lives.  They've slept with the wrong person, taken the wrong substance, passed the wrong piece of legislation -- whatever it is, and then are fit for ridicule.  In other words, they have failed.  And they are described as "losers."

我們都知道,嘲弄揶揄的頭號工具，在今天,就是報紙，每天打開報紙所見的，無非是許許多多人怎樣搞砸自己的故事，和錯誤的對象發生性關係.錯誤的使用毒品藥物.，通過了一個錯誤的法案.各式各樣的故事.，這一切都值得加以嘲笑一番，換言之,他們是失敗了。因此,被描述為「失敗者」。

Now, is there any alternative to this?  I think the Western tradition shows us one glorious alternative, which is tragedy.  Tragic art, as it developed in the theaters of ancient Greece, in the fifth century B.C., was essentially an art form devoted to tracing how people fail, and also according them a level of sympathy, which ordinary life would not necessarily accord them.

究竟這種說法有沒有其他代替品呢?，有的,西方傳統文化中有一個輝煌的代替品，我們稱之為悲劇，悲劇藝術,起源於古老的希臘劇場，在大約西元前五世紀,主要以藝術的形式，致力於探討人們如何失敗，並在某種程度上給予失敗的人一些同情。

A few years ago, I was thinking about this, and I went to "The Sunday Sport," a tabloid newspaper I don't recommend you start reading if you're not familiar with it already.  (Laughter)

我記得幾年前,當我在思索這些問題時，於是去看了「星期日運動小報」，如果你從沒看過這份小報，倒不必特地找一份來看。

And I went to talk to them about certain of the great tragedies of Western art.  I wanted to see how they would seize the bare bones of certain stories, if they came in as a news item at the news desk on a Saturday afternoon.  I mentioned Othello; they'd not heard of it but were fascinated.  (Laughter)

後來我去找這家小報的編輯聊天，聊關於西方藝術裡,幾件偉大的悲劇作品，我想看看他們會怎麼露骨的描述劇情大綱，如果把這些故事當做新聞事件來處理的話,手法如何，就以每週六下午的新聞台作業為例，於是我跟他們說了奧塞羅的故事.他們沒聽過,精采翻了，(笑聲)。

I asked them to write a headline for the story.  They came up with "Love-Crazed Immigrant Kills Senator's Daughter." Splashed across the headline.  I gave them the plotline of Madame Bovary.  Again, a book they were enchanted to discover.  And they wrote "Shopaholic Adulteress Swallows Arsenic After Credit Fraud." (Laughter)

我請他們幫「奧塞羅」這個故事製作一個頭條新聞標題，這標題成了「愛成痴狂!外籍新郎殺死參議院大老之女」，醒目的大標題橫灑整個版面，接下來換「包法利夫人」上場，這本書他們也沒看過,但是非常有意思,更想了解多一點，這個標題是「購物上癮風塵女 信用詐欺服毒身亡」，(笑聲)，

And then my favorite -- they really do have a kind of genius of their own, these guys -- my favorite is Sophocles' Oedipus the King: "Sex With Mum Was Blinding." (Laughter) (Applause)

最後這個,是我最愛的，這些傢伙,真的很有些天份，我最喜歡的是索發克里斯所寫的「依底帕斯王」，「盲！睡上自己親娘」，(笑聲)，(鼓掌)。

In a way, if you like, at one end of the spectrum of sympathy, you've got the tabloid newspaper.  At the other end of the spectrum, you've got tragedy and tragic art.  And I suppose I'm arguing that we should learn a little bit about what's happening in tragic art.

你可以這樣看同情心的光譜,如果在這一頭，如果是小報新聞如壹周刊的話，那麼另一頭就是悲劇和悲劇藝術，我想我要提出一個觀點是我們應該從，悲劇藝術當中學到的東西。

It would be insane to call Hamlet a loser.  He is not a loser, though he has lost.  And I think that is the message of tragedy to us, and why it's so very, very important, I think.

沒有人稱哈姆雷特為「失敗者」，雖然失去很多,但他並不是失敗者，我想這就是悲劇藝術要傳達給我們的訊息，我認為這是個非常非常重要的訊息。

The other thing about modern society and why it causes this anxiety, is that we have nothing at its center that is non-human.  We are the first society to be living in a world where we don't worship anything other than ourselves.  We think very highly of ourselves, and so we should; we've put people on the Moon, done all sorts of extraordinary things.  And so we tend to worship ourselves.  Our heroes are human heroes.

另外一個現代社會引發，焦慮的原因就是，萬事的中心點,沒有一樣不是繞著人打轉的，我們的社會,首創了世界上第一次,人類這樣的生活，除了我們自己以外,我們不敬拜其他任何別的，非常高舉自己,當然我們應該如此.，人類登上了月球.我們如此成就非凡.，以至於傾向於崇拜自己，我們的英雄都是人類自己。

That's a very new situation.  Most other societies have had, right at their center, the worship of something transcendent: a god, a spirit, a natural force, the universe, whatever it is -- something else that is being worshiped.  We've slightly lost the habit of doing that, which is, I think, why we're particularly drawn to nature.  Not for the sake of our health, though it's often presented that way, but because it's an escape from the human anthill.  It's an escape from our own competition, and our own dramas.

這是個新狀況，大多數過去的社會,中心點，都有一個超凡的敬拜對象.一位神，一種精神,一股自然能力,宇宙，無論為何,過去我們總崇拜一些別的什麼，現在我們丟棄了這個習慣，這也是我想,為什麼,人總是很容易被大自然所吸引，雖然很多宣導都說接觸大自然是為了健康,但其實不是這原因，原因是我們都想逃離這個人造蟻丘，我們想逃離彼此之間的競爭，一些自編自導的戲碼。

And that's why we enjoy looking at glaciers and oceans, and contemplating the Earth from outside its perimeters, etc.  We like to feel in contact with something that is non-human, and that is so deeply important to us.

所以冰河,海洋總令人類感到賞心悅目，甚至喜歡從外太空的角度凝視這顆星球,，我們喜歡去感受到和某些非人類之物有所接觸，在內裡深處,這意義是重大的。

What I think I've been talking about really is success and failure.  And one of the interesting things about success is that we think we know what it means.  If I said that there's somebody behind the screen who's very successful, certain ideas would immediately come to mind.  You'd think that person might have made a lot of money, achieved renown in some field.

我一直在講成功和失敗，關於成功有一件最有趣的事情就是，我們都認為我們知道成功是什麼意思，如果我現在跟你們說,螢幕後方有一個人，是個非常成功的人,你的心底立刻就會浮現好幾個想法，你可能覺得這個人應該是賺很多錢的，在某個領域學有所長的。

My own theory of success -- I'm somebody who's very interested in success, I really want to be successful, always thinking, how can I be more successful?

我自己對成功有個理論,我這個人呢，對成功是有極大興趣的.我很想要成功.，我總在想著,「怎樣能更成功呢?」

But as I get older, I'm also very nuanced about what that word "success" might mean.  Here's an insight that I've had about success: You can't be successful at everything.  We hear a lot of talk about work-life balance.  Nonsense.  You can't have it all. You can't.  So any vision of success has to admit what it's losing out on,

年紀漸長,我對於「成功」這個字詞，的微妙定義也有所領悟，這是我對於成功的見解，你無法在每件事上都很成功，我們都聽過許多的「工作-生活」應當取得平衡的訊息演說，那些都不是道理.你根本沒辦法魚與熊掌兼得.就是沒辦法。

where the element of loss is.  And I think any wise life will accept, as I say, that there is going to be an element where we're not succeeding.

所以呢,看待成功，必須要承認因此也有所失落，失落了些重要元素，我想所有智者都能接受的一件事就是，如我所說,總在某一個關鍵點上,我們算是未竟成功。

And the thing about a successful life is that a lot of the time, our ideas of what it would mean to live successfully are not our own.  They're sucked in from other people; chiefly, if you're a man, your father, and if you're a woman, your mother.  Psychoanalysis has been drumming home this message for about 80 years.  No one's quite listening hard enough, but I very much believe it's true.

而成功的人生呢，關於一個成功的人生的定義為何，往往並不出於我們自己的想法，全都是從別人那裡吸取來的，如果你是男人,那人主要是你的父親,，如果妳是女人,主要是妳的母親，心理分析家試圖要傳達這個信息給我們,有80年了，沒人聽他們在講什麼.但我相信它是對的。

And we also suck in messages from everything from the television, to advertising, to marketing, etc.  These are hugely powerful forces that define what we want and how we view ourselves.  When we're told that banking is a very respectable profession, a lot of us want to go into banking.  When banking is no longer so respectable, we lose interest in banking.

另外我們也吸取訊息，從電視廣告來的，還有行銷等等，這些都是強力的資訊來源，定意著我們想要的,定義了我們看待自己，過去人們說銀行業是受尊敬的行業，我們很多人就想進這一行，當銀行業不再受到尊敬,我們也對它沒了興趣。

We are highly open to suggestion.  So what I want to argue for is not that we should give up on our ideas of success, but we should make sure that they are our own.  We should focus in on our ideas, and make sure that we own them; that we are truly the authors of our own ambitions.  Because it's bad enough not getting what you want, but it's even worse to have an idea of what it is you want, and find out, at the end of the journey, that it isn't, in fact, what you wanted all along.

我們往往對建議太過於敞開，我要說明的一點是,我們不應該放棄，放棄去尋求我們對成功的想法和概念，但總要確定那份想法是我們自己的沒錯，我們應該聚焦在自己的想法上，確認我們真的擁有這些想法，我們是自己的雄心壯志的主人，因為得不到你想要的已經夠慘了,，但抱著一個根本不屬於自己的想法,，走完人生全程,才發現這根本不是你想要的，那才是真正最最悲慘的事情。

So, I'm going to end it there.  But what I really want to stress is: by all means, success, yes.  But let's accept the strangeness of some of our ideas.  Let's probe away at our notions of success.  Let's make sure our ideas of success are truly our own.  Thank you very much.  (Applause)

我要在這裡結束，我想強調的是，用各種方法,賺取成功,很好.，但也接納我們自己的想法當中最怪異的一些點子，探索出我們對成功的看見，總要確定我們對成功的看法全都是我們自己的沒錯，非常謝謝大家，(鼓掌)

Chris Anderson: That was fascinating.  But how do you reconcile this idea of it being bad to think of someone as a "loser," with the idea that a lot of people like, of seizing control of your life, and that a society that encourages that, perhaps has to have some winners and losers?

主持人克里斯·安德森:太精采了，請問你要怎樣和解，兩個想法--一個是視別人為失敗者,這個想法並不太好，另一個想法則廣為多數人所歡迎的,就是,掌控自己的人生方向，而既然社會上鼓勵這些，可能總免不了有些成功者也有些失敗者。

Alain De Botton: Yes, I think it's merely the randomness of the winning and losing process that I want to stress, because the emphasis nowadays is so much on the justice of everything, and politicians always talk about justice.  Now I'm a firm believer in justice, I just think that it's impossible.  So we should do everything we can to pursue it, but we should always remember that whoever is facing us, whatever has happened in their lives, there will be a strong element of the haphazard.  That's what I'm trying to leave room for; otherwise, it can get quite claustrophobic.

艾倫·狄波頓: 是的.我認為,其中無非機緣而已，主導一個或勝或敗的過程,在於機緣,而這是我所想要強調的，因為今天人們把許多的重點強調在，每件事都很公平正義，所有政治人物都講公平正義，我當然堅定相信公平正義.只是我認為那根本不可能.，所以我們應該盡一切可能，做每一件該做的事,追求這個目標，但最後總要記得，我們無論面對了誰,他的生命中發生什麼事，其中很大的因素在於偶然發生，因此,我試圖在這個部份給人多一些空間，否則的話,有時,未免也太過於令人窒息了。

CA: I mean, do you believe that you can combine your kind of kinder, gentler philosophy of work with a successful economy?  Or do you think that you can't, but it doesn't matter that much that we're putting too much emphasis on that?

克里斯·安德森:我的意思是,你相信這所謂的，寬容的,溫和的哲學能應用在工作上，並和一個成功的經濟系統有個好的結合嗎?，還是你認為不能?，或者那無關緊要,因為我們強調的重點不在那個部份?

AB: The nightmare thought is that frightening people is the best way to get work out of them, and that somehow the crueler the environment, the more people will rise to the challenge.  You want to think, who would you like as your ideal dad?  And your ideal dad is somebody who is tough but gentle.  And it's a very hard line to make.  We need fathers, as it were, the exemplary father figures in society, avoiding the two extremes, which is the authoritarian disciplinarian on the one hand, and on the other, the lax, no-rules option.

艾倫·狄波頓:有一種噩夢想法呢，就是藉由驚嚇,讓人把工作完成,他們認為這個方法最好用，並且環境要是越冷酷無情，人,就越能被激發出潛能,起來迎接冷酷的挑戰，試想,在你心中完美的父親是怎樣的呢?一位理想父親,不正是一個又嚴格又溫柔的人嗎，其中的界線的確難以劃分，我們的社會需要這樣標準的,父親典範的形象角色，避免兩極化，在這一頭只講權力,服從,執行紀律，另一頭則是鬆散,無規則。

CA: Alain De Botton.  AB: Thank you very much.  (Applause)

克里斯·安德森: 謝謝, 艾倫·狄波頓，艾倫·狄波頓: 非常謝謝，(鼓掌)