When your child is a gifted athlete
Last summer,Kate Douglass qualified for the 2016 US Olympic Team Trials in swimming — atage 13.
去年，凯特·道格拉斯获准参加2016年奥运赛游泳预选赛，她只有13岁。
“She probablystarted swimming competitively at about six-years-old, and she had a knack forit,” said her mother, Allison Douglass, who lives in New York. “Now she’s 14, afreshman in high school and she’s training seven days a week. We fly all overthe country for various meets.”
“她大概从6岁开始学习竞技游泳，她有游泳天赋。”她的妈妈艾莉森·道格拉斯说，她们居住在美国纽约。“现在他的14岁了，上高一，她一周七天都要训练，我们飞到全国各地参见不同的比赛。”
As thrilled asshe is for her daughter’s success, being a parent of an elite swimmer requiresa full family commitment. There are expenses for coaching and travel, the timespent on swim competitions and practice, and then there’s the fact that she’snot an only child.
她为女儿的成功感到激动，培养顶级游泳选手需要全家一起努力。花在教练和旅行上的各种费用和时间让人头疼，因为家里还有其他孩子。
“She’s theoldest of three kids, and I don’t feel like her brother and sister should haveto suffer,” Douglass said. “I would never make them sit through a five-hourswim meet, so it’s a lot of split time where I’m at a meet and my husband iswith the other two.”
“她是三个孩子中最大的一个，我不想让她的弟弟妹妹跟着我们一起受罪，”道格拉斯说，“我不会让他们两个跟着我们一起静坐等待持续五个小时的比赛，所以我们的时间要一分为二，当我在陪练的时候，我的丈夫会和他们在一起。”
This summer shewill accompany her daughter to Nebraska for the Olympic trials, where they willstay for nine days. “We are fortunate that financially we can afford to dothis,” Douglass said. “We can afford to pay for coaches and travel around, butit’s still expensive. It wouldn’t work for every family. It’s a lot ofbalancing.”
In the US, morethan 26 million children aged six to 17 played team sports in 2014, accordingto the Sports and Fitness Industry Association. In the UK, 80% of children agedfive to 15 said they’d done some form of competitive sport in the last 12months, according to the Sport and Recreation Alliance. In Australia, 60% ofkids aged five to 14 participated in at least one organized sport outside ofschool hours, according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics.
这个夏天她要陪同女儿到那不拉斯加州参加奥林匹克运动会的训练，她们要在那里呆九天，“我们可以负担得起这次旅途的费用，”道格拉斯说，“尽管我们能够负担得起训练和旅途的费用，但这费用还是很贵的，并不是每一个家庭都能负担得起，很多事情需要平衡。”据运动健身协会统计，2014年在美国有2600多万，年龄在6-17岁的孩子参加团队运动。根据运动娱乐联盟统计，在英国去年有80%年龄在5-15岁的孩子参加过一些形式的运动比赛。澳大利亚统计局报道说，在澳大利亚60%的5-14岁孩子参加过至少一个课余组织的运动。
Many of us havea sporty child, but if they turn out to be a gifted athlete, here’s what youshould really know about helping him or her pursue their talent.
很多家庭会有一个爱运动的孩子，但是如果他们真的有运动天赋，这里我们可以告诉你一些你必须知道的关于帮助他们发挥她们的天赋的建议。
take:Participatingin sportat this levelis expensive, in terms of equipment,time
off work for parents, coaching, travel to competitions andregistration costs. It’s also a huge time commitment that can impact otherchildren and family members. “You’ve really got to go into it with your eyesopen,” said Nick Holt, a professor in the faculty of physical education andrecreation at the University of Alberta, Canada. “That sport is going to
become a major part of your life. When you’re not at work, you’re basically
supporting your child’s sport.It’s a hard slog.”
需要什么：要达到这个运动级别投入不菲，需要考虑到运动器材，爸妈的吴工时间，培训，比赛必须的旅行和注册费用。同时，无法顾及其他孩子和家庭成员。加拿大亚伯达大学体育教育和娱乐系教授耐克·霍尔特说：“你必须要亲眼盯着，这项运动将会是你生活中最主要的一部分，如果你没上班，你基本上都在陪练，这是一个艰难的跋涉。
The Douglass family, for instance, findit nearly impossible to take a holiday together that will fit around Kate’sswim schedule.“Swimming is a grueling sport and you can’ttake a week off from it,” Allison said. “It limits our family travel, which isa bit of an issue for us.”
以道格拉斯一家为例，为了适应凯特的比赛日程，他们一家几乎不可能一起度假。“游泳是一种非常折磨人的运动，一周都不能停”艾莉森说。“这限制了我们的家庭旅行，颇为棘手。”
Holt alsobelieves that if you aren't resilient,you should steer
clear.“The best athletes in the world constantly make mistakes,”Holt said. “It’s not about making mistakes, it’s about being able to reboundfrom them.” If, as a parent, you find it hard to watch your child fail,oryou’ll be tempted to lean hard on him if he plays at less than his best, thisis not the lifestyle for you.
霍尔特认为若你心理素质不过硬，还是放弃吧，“世界上最好的运动员经常犯错误，”霍尔特说。“犯错没关系，能否重新振作才是关键。”作为父母，如果你发现你很难直面孩子的失败，或者是你的孩子不能全力以赴你不得不苦苦相逼的话，这种生活是不适合你的”
How long you
need to prepare:Thisvaries a great deal, because athletes peak in different sports at differentages. That said, experts believe you should give sporty children a broad basein a variety of activities before singling one out in which they specialize.Let them try different sports, or spend time running around outdoors learningfundamental movement skills before focusing on one thing.
需要准备多长时间：由于不同的运动项目运动员的最佳状态在不同的年龄段，所以你需要准备的时间也大为不同。据说，专家认为在确定他们应该专注于某项运动之前，你应该给孩子接受不同的运动项目训练。让他们尝试不同的运动，例如户外长跑，在专注于某一项运动之前学习基本的动作技能。
“Sometimes parents think they’ve got to gettheir kids in whatever sport as early as possible, and give them extra trainingand specialized coaching,” Holt said. “But there’s a greater chance of thatleading to injury, and then the kid is burning out by the time they’re ateenager because they’ve had enough.”
一些家长认为任何一种运动都是让孩子接触的越早越好，而且让他们接受加倍的专业的训练，霍尔特说“但是这样会更容易让孩子受伤，在他们长到青年阶段的时候会由于受伤过多而消耗殆尽”
That said, ifyour child is showing signs of being particularly skilled in one field, you maywant to start saving toward future expenses, which will add up fast.
Do it now:Remember that you’re a parent, not a coach. “Ideally, a child has a couple ofparents who play roles that are appropriate for a mother and father to play,”said Peter Jensen, who has a Ph.D. in sport psychology and is the founder ofPerformance Coaching in Ontario.“Then when the child is elite, whether it’smusic or sport, they need expert outside advice, which usually comes in theform of a coach.”
据说，如果你的孩子显示出都某项运动有特殊的技能，你可能想节约未来的开支，而这些开支是越来越多的。那么，从现在开始：记着你是父母而不是教练。“理想状态下，一个孩子有一对父母，父母各司其职，”运动心理学领域的哲学博士彼得·延森说，他也是安大略省行为教练的创始人。“如果孩子具有天赋，不管在音乐还是运动方面，他们都需要来自外部的建议，这通常来自一位教练。”
When a parentstarts doling out coaching advice, they are blurring the lines, depriving thechild of a parent and adding one too many coaches to the pool. “I’m not sayingyou abdicate responsibility, but once you’ve found a decent coach for yourchild, you want to stay on the other side of that,” Jensen said.
当父母开始像教练一样给予建议时，他们的行为界限已经模糊，不再是孩子的父母，而是让孩子多了一名教练。“我并不是说要你放弃对孩子的培养职责，而是说一旦你给孩子找到了一个合适的教练，你就会更愿意尽父母职责。”延森说。
Make sure yourchild is in the driving seat. Each year, you should check in with your miniathlete in the off-season and make sure they are still interested in playingthe sport again next year. It should be your child’s decision and motivation,not yours. “Parents get stars in their eyes, and a lot of them were engaged inactivities themselves and didn’t succeed,” Jensen said. “They get caught up in‘vicarious success syndrome.’ Just because someone is good at something, itdoesn’t mean they want to do it, and you have got to give kids the option.”
请确定你的孩子在他自己生活里的主导地位。每年，在季末你都应该观察一下你的小运动员，确保他下一年还会对他从事的这项运动感兴，你孩子的决定和意愿才是主要的，而不是你一厢情愿。“父母都望子成龙，望女成凤，很多父母他们自己是未成名的运动员，”延森说。“他们患上了‘替代性成功症’，仅仅是出于自己的意愿，而不是为孩子着想，我们必须尊重孩子的选择。”
Cut costs whereyou can. All your expenses can add up quickly, but there are ways to save timeand money. Take turns car-sharing kids to practices and sign up for coaching ingroups, if your sport allows it. Some parents also volunteer with a club to getpart of their fees waived. Others fundraise for their team to reduce travel orcompetition costs.
在任何可能的情况下节约成本。你的所有花费会很快增加，但是也有方法来节约金钱和时间。轮流接送孩子去训练，组团报名，请教练。有些父母还在俱乐部做义工，来抵消一些孩子的培训费用，还有人为他们的团队出行和竞赛组织募捐。
For MichelleGesky, whose 12-year-old daughter excels in horse riding, keeping expenses downmeans leasing a horse at a local stable instead of buying one. “There are kidsout there who have really beautiful horses,” said Gesky, who lives in New York.“I’m not one of those parents who can afford the $120,000 horse.”
米歇尔·杰斯卡12岁的女儿擅长骑马，为了减少费用，她们选择租赁而不是买一匹马。“那里有些孩子的马真的特别漂亮，”住在纽约的杰斯卡说，“我们不是能够支付12万美元购买一匹马的家长。”
Be willing toask questions. When your child reaches a certain level, you may feel out ofyour depth because you don’t know enough about the sport or the training toknow what the best steps are. “How do you know what advice to take, and what’sbest for your child?” Gesky said. She recommends each parent does theirresearch by talking to other parents or going online, or in her daughter’s sporttalking to different stable managers, or people who have owned horses foryears. “You have to get your hands dirty by being a heavy communicator,” shesaid.
愿意提问题。当你的孩子达到了一定的水平，你有可能感到力不从心，因为你对这项运动或者训练了解不多，因此也不知道什么是最好的方法。“你怎么会知道哪些建议是对的，对孩子来说什么是最好的？”杰斯克说。她建议每个家长要通过和别的家长面对面交流或者上网聊天，或者就他女儿的运动项目与不同的长期经营者或者是自己有马的人交流。“要成为一个善于沟通的人，必须亲力亲为，”她说。
Do it
later:Don’thang your hat on dreams of a ‘pro’ career. If you’re pushing your child tocompete at an elite level because you have hopes of a professional sportscareer and sizeable payday, you may want to check your ego. “The odds areastronomical that that’s going to happen,” Jensen said.
不要急着做：不要总是期待着孩子成为专业的运动员，如果你为了想让孩子成为专业选手能够有巨额收入而逼迫孩子挑战高水平训练，那你就需要自我反省了。“发生概率犹如天文数字，微乎其微，”詹森说。
Know thatscholarships are also scarce. In places where university is very expensive(such as the US), shining at a sport could land your child a less expensive orfree place at school. But those prizes are rare—only about 2% of high schoolathletes get some form of athletic scholarship to compete in university,according to the US National Collegiate Athletic Association.
要知道奖学金是非常少的。有些地方的大学学费非常昂贵（例如美国），擅长某项运动能使你的孩子在学校减免学费。但是这种奖励很少——美国大学运动协会表示，只有2%的高中学校运动员可通过竞争获得大学的运动奖学金。
That said,success depends on your sport, and it’s not impossible. Gesky has found thatcolleges with equestrian programs often have trainers at tournaments who may belooking for future team members. “A lot of these kids get scholarshipoffers out of having participated in this,” she said.
这就意味着，只依赖你的体育运动来获得成功是不可能的。杰斯凯发现，设有骑术专业的大学通常会有参与锦标赛的教练，他们可能需要储备队员，“很多孩子因为参加过这样的比赛而得到奖学金，”她说。
Do it smarter:Realise that it’s an investment — inyour child. The money you’re spending can feel like a down payment on futuresuccess. But if your child decides, at 16, or halfway through college, thatshe’s done with her sport, it’s not money wasted. Years of athletic endeavourswill likely teach your child to handle adversity, be part of a team, work hardeven on bad days, and to juggle sport and school commitments. “She’s learnedall kinds of things that are going to be valuable life lessons,” Jensen said.
明智一些：要知道，这是一项投资——对孩子的投资。你花的这些钱就像是对未来成功的一种投资。但如果你的孩子下定决心，在16岁，或者是大学中期她还坚持做这项运动，这笔钱就没有白花。多年的运动训练有可能教会你的孩子克服困难，有团队精神，即使在困境中也会努力工作，经常参加学校体育活动或者社团活动。“她学得所有东西都讲会是有价值的人生课。”詹森说。
“I think it’sjust about balance and keeping things in perspective,” Allison Douglass said.“As long as she’s getting something out of it, we’re all getting something outof it.”
“我认为问题在于平衡发展，并满怀憧憬，”艾莉森·道格拉斯说，“只要她能从中有所收获，我们所有人的努力就没有白费。”
