Recently I’ve already made a choice about my path which determines my growth direction for at least five years, that is to engage in the research as a Ph. D. student.
前段时间我决定读博，这个选择决定了至少未来五年我的奋斗方向。
It supposed to be a good thing for me cause it was the initial goal for myself. But as I reached, I started to imagine something bigger. In fact, I tend to be like this, always be unsatisfied about myself how matter what situation I am in. In addition, after I realized the road that almost people conducted, the thought that it should not be my path was haunting in my deep heart. Think about that, you spend about five years, and then act as a teacher in an ordinary college with no fierce competition, no longer development. You just become a normal person and it’s your end. That’s it. Actually it’s so comfortable and admirable for a lot of people. But that’s not my way.
读博对我而言应该是一件好事，因为它是我最初的目标，而且我经过努力而实现了。但一旦我够到了这个目标，我就开始不安分了。实际上，我发现我就是这样，似乎一直对自己的现状不满意，不论目前的处境是怎样的。另外，当我意识到大部分博士生毕业之后就进入了普普通通的高校，一生的高度基本就决定了，甚至就到头了，而我，很可能也这样时，我心里是很不甘的，甚至是很焦躁的！事实上，大学老师是很舒服，也是很多人所羡慕的，但这远远不是我读博的目标和期望。
Several days ago, I chatted with a friend who graduated as a doctor and found a job in a college. “Life is peaceful and enjoyable”，he told me. Ever,he had admired that type of life that he could wake up naturally every morning. Now he reached it. That’ it. But that’s not what I want. Yes, it’s so comfortable, but I cannot endure.I just cannot tolerate the mediocre life. I want to pursue something bigger than myself. Even, the feeling that the great age is calling for me strikes me deeply.
几天前和一个博士师兄聊天，他现在在一所大学任教。“生活很惬意，也很舒服”，他告诉我。当初他就希望以后能每天睡到自然醒，而现在，他实现了自己的目标。但这不是我对生活的愿望。是的，这种生活很舒服，但我忍受不了。内心深处，我发现自己还是想追求更广阔的事物。这个时代在召唤着我们。
To know what you want and struggle for it. That’s the answer for those who are confused about their lives. Luckily, after so many decisions I’ve made this year, I gradually know what I want. I want to release myself. I want to engage in the tidal wave of the great age and to achieve my own value. I want to challenge myself when I still have the chance.
知道你自己想要什么，并为之努力奋斗。这是很多多自己人生迷茫的人的答案。很庆幸，在我还年轻的时候，我知道自己大概想要什么样的生活。我想在时代的大潮流中拼搏一番，趁自己还年轻，有时间的时候。
Ever, I wasted my college life that I have to start from the lower position. But now I stand up. It’s my time to value myself and I will not act like the almost people. I will not accept the future that I get through the five year’s study life and graduate with a job in an ordinary college ultimately. I will make a breakthrough about the doctoral career. To stay in American, or find a high-end job, maybe. If I cannot do that, it will be a failure of my doctoral time and I will definitely be ashamed about myself.
曾经，我耽误了大学时光，以至于现在起点很低。但现在我醒悟了，也明白了！从今之后，是我释放自己的时候了，为的就是不像一般人那样活。我不会接受自己，读博五年后，找一个一般的大学，然后人生就安歇了。读博的这些年，我要突破博士的一般发展路径。毕业时找一份很高端的工作，或者留在美国。如果我做不到这点，那么，就请接受自己平平淡淡的现实吧！这也意味着，整个博士五年的失败，我也要为现在的狂妄羞愧。因为这就是典型的，才华匹配不了梦想。
Actually this is not easy for it’s even so hard for almost people to graduate as a doctor. So their is no way to achieve this as I worked as what I used to be. In the past, although I work hard, and succeed accordingly, it just acted as linear growth, slowly. And in the next five years, I must pursue the mutation about my growth. That’s the only way to achieve my goal.
实际上，要实现这样的目标很不容易。因为很多人即使毕业都很难。所以，如果我还沿袭之前的努力程度、学习方式等，几乎是不可能做到这一点的，即使我之前也很努力，并且也取得了一些成绩。因为，之前的进步，太慢了，而且是线性的。所以，在未来几年，我必须实现成长上的突变，才能实现我的目标。
To do this, I will treat myself with high demand. I will work so hard and keep challenging myself, raising the bar. And I will enjoy the feeling, to make me suffer, uncomfortable, even painful.
为了做到这一点，我将更加严格地要求自己。我将持续不断地努力奋进，并且不断挑战自己，提高自己的基线。以后的成长将会很不舒服，甚至很痛苦，但我将喜欢这种痛并快乐着的感觉。
Maybe it’s so hard to hang on keeping extremely regular schedule and getting up so early every morning. Then do it.
也许，极其严格的作息，每天晨起很难，但我会做到的！
Maybe it’s so hard to control myself strictly all the time. Then do it.
也许，极度自律很难，那就极度自律吧！
Maybe it suffers to take the cold shower all the time, especially with the cold water in Maybe Guiyang’winter, then do it.
也许，坚持冷水浴很痛苦，特别是冬天的时候，但我会做到的！
Maybe it’s so nervous to take part in the English Corner where almost people speak excellent English and you just can bare do that, then do it.
也许，去英语角会让我很紧张，很忐忑，在那些口语很牛的人之间局促不安，但我还是会去的，而且会坚持去的！
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To grow with no limits. To grow with mutation. To make me suffer.
不设限，野蛮成长，难受吧；这就是我日后学习生活工作的指导原则，我将会将此准则深深地刻在心中，处处以此为做事准则。
All above ,if you can not do them , then please accept your plain life. Because you just have no that talent to release yourself.
如果我以后做不到以上几点，那么，就请我自己接受自己的平淡吧！因为我没有那个才华！
