“Don’t be too hard on yourself. There are plenty of people willing to do that for you. Love yourself and be proud of everything that you do. Even mistakes mean you’re trying.” — Susan Gale

The inner critic would remind me I was being weak, however I persisted in noticing the inner voice as it arose. The inner critic naturally fell away over time and I changed my life to foster more self-compassion, kindness and patience.

It was what my inner child, the one my father had hijacked when I was young, was craving all along. I achieved more in my life and related to people more authentically, instead of fostering disingenuous connections. The most important thing is that it felt safe being my authentic self.

I never liked the inner critic but felt compelled to listen to it because it was the only voice I knew and I didn’t want to let it down. To be clear, it was my father I was afraid of letting down, not the inner critic.

Have you experienced something similar, like two voices competing for your attention? I assumed the critical inner voice had got me this far in life, so why change it.

But the inner critic is not the real you, it is an invented persona adopted by those you trusted when you were young. What I’m saying is: if we keep looking through a frosted window and believe the world is foggy, it becomes our only reference point.

It is when we change our filter that we discover we had it all wrong. With this in mind, I’d like you to give attention to areas of your life where your inner critic is playing out.

Does it make itself known in your: relationships, career, health, finances or other areas? What do you want to change about it? For example, you might be a perfectionist in your relationship with your partner which is holding you back from an honest connection.

It is only when we stop being hard on ourselves that we change our external circumstances and learn to be comfortable with whom we really are. As the saying goes: “As within, so without.”